Royal Blue
by WhyTheHandbasket
Summary: What if Miyuki and Sawamura met before that fateful day on the Seido grounds?
1. Beginnings

"Kazu-kun, let's play catch!" Eijun's amber eyes sparkled with excitement as the kindergartener danced around in the doorway. Clutching a ball and his prized mitt, he waited impatiently for Kazuya to grab his gear and join him outside.

"Calm down, Ei-chan, I'm coming; hang on a minute!" Kazuya shouted, well used to his friend's enthusiastic greetings. He ran upstairs to his room, tiptoeing quietly past his parent's room where his mother was asleep, and grabbed his mitt. Heading to the front door, he slipped on his shoes, closed the door quietly behind himself and joined Eijun.

Together, they ran to the park at the end of the block, headed for the center—a large green field crisscrossed by chalk lines and baseball diamonds, currently empty. There in the warmth of the sun, beneath a blue, blue sky, the two boys began a simple game of catch.

They tossed the ball back and forth for a while—just enjoying the day and the exercise—when Kazuya remembered the subject he wanted to discuss with Eijun. "Ei-chan!" he said, holding both the ball and the boy's attention, "There was an assembly today at school talking about the clubs and after school activities we could join—there's a baseball team! One for little kids like us! We should definitely join, don't you think?"

Eijun grinned and nodded, before his face fell. "I can't join that, it's for primary kids…I'm only in _kindergarten_!" wailed Eijun, falling to the ground in utter defeat.

"Oh, yeah…"muttered the first-grader, sadly. "I forgot." Ruefully, he kicked at a rock in the grass.

The friends pouted, dejected.

Eijun looked up at his friend, contemplatively. "You could join, if you want to, Kazu-kun. I'll start next year when I'm in Primary. That way, you could teach me all kinds of stuff, and I can start off being better than ANYONE!" He grinned, climbing back up to his feet.

Kazuya pushed his glasses up on his nose, and smirked at Eijun. "Wow, Ei-chan, you really _can_ be smart sometimes." He threw the ball back to his friend and the game of catch resumed, the matter being settled.

So it began.

Over the next year, Kazuya participated in the baseball club, learning everything he could about the sport, religiously teaching Eijun everything he learned.

During the second month of the school year, the club members were introduced to the different positions, and were asked to choose which one they'd most like to try. Kazuya decided that being the catcher, being able to see the field and direct the game, was something he'd like to do. He liked knowing everything that was going on, and analyzing the way people behaved. He was also beginning to realize that he enjoyed causing and predicting other people's reactions—it was so amusing, and he hated to be bored.

Eijun, for his part, soaked up everything he could learn from the catcher, learning about the basics of the game and all the positions, as well as their responsibilities. After learning that Kazuya wanted to be a catcher, Eijun declared that he wanted to be a pitcher, so they could always play together. They were best friends, it made perfect sense to the pair.

Their games of catch evolved to something that resembled baseball practice, even as the frequency decreased; Kazuya's time was being taken up by the baseball club.

The following school year, they played together. At club practice, on the weekends, during school breaks, whenever they had the chance, you could find the pair playing at any one of the local fields. This was their pattern and their life, the only thing either of them was interested in.

During their eleventh summer (Kazuya was only six months older, just enough to warrant the difference in grade, with birthdays in May and November), they found themselves in the park after the sun set, lying in the grass watching the stars.

These were the times when they could just be—speaking quietly, if at all. Dreaming about a future full of baseball and whatever comes with it; unsure about what was to come, yet secure—in the way that eleven year old boys are—that they would be able to accomplish whatever it was that they set out to do. Together, as best friends, they were sure they would manage.

"Ei-chan", Kazuya said, breaking into the silence that lay so comfortably between them, "My mom seems to be getting better. I think she may be able to come home from the hospital soon." His mother had been sick for as long as either one of them could remember, a constant demand for quiet speech and soft footsteps in the house and repeated visits to hospital rooms carrying flowers and fruit to cheer up the invalid.

"Wow, really? That's awesome!" responded Eijun, genuinely happy for his friend. He knew how much he worried about his mother, and felt badly about it, even if there wasn't really anything he could do to help. "Maybe she can come watch some of our games; we have the district tournament coming up soon!" Kazuya nodded and then shrugged.

"She'll probably be weak for a while; I don't know when she'll be moving around."

It was Eijun's turn to nod. Silence returned, and the boys continued to lie there, content to listen to the crickets and feel the cooling breeze, until one of them realized that it was time to head home. This was the pattern of their eleventh summer.

By that winter, things had changed. Kazuya's mother, instead of getting better, got worse. She never left the hospital; never got the chance to watch her son play the game that he loved so much. On the day she died, Kazuya found himself in the park, playing catch with Eijun. The familiar feel of the ball hitting his mitt, the sound of their feet in the grass and the wind in the trees lulled him into a sense of well-being, allowing him to lose some of the tension that had been weighing him down for the past week or more.

He didn't cry. He attended the funeral, carried out all of the formalities required of a mourning son, and didn't cry. He heard the talk, the " _poor lost boy"s_ , the " _who's going to take care of him now"s_ , and didn't cry. He didn't feel poor or lost. He'd learned to take care of himself. He didn't cry.

There were two constants in his life. Baseball, and Eijun. That was enough for now.

Life, as they knew it, continued. Kazuya's father, never overly involved in his son's life, withdrew further. Unbeknownst to the boy, his father decided to relocate his metalworking business to Tokyo—more work, more money…and most importantly, more hours, less time to think about the things he'd lost. Kazuya never even crossed his mind when he made this decision.

The day in January the movers showed up was the first time the boys knew anything was happening. There was no time for one last game of catch, no time for long goodbyes—just enough time for them to promise to keep in touch, to share one quick hug. Eijun wailed, tears flowing freely, as he watched Kazuya climb, dry-eyed, into the car.

As they drove out of Nagano's city limits, Kazuya cried.


	2. Reunion on the Field

Bored and decidedly unamused, Kazuya squatted by the chain-link fence surrounding the playing field, trying to stay cool. It was hot. Insanely hot. Ninth circle of hell hot—and as proof that hell was his current location, Azuma was tormenting poor Nori again, the batter berating the first year pitcher and holding the whole team's practice hostage. Observing closely, Kazuya filed the confrontation away for future use and took a big drink from his water bottle. Suddenly, from across the field, he heard a loud voice.

"Don't you know that baseball's not a solo sport? You shouldn't treat your teammates like that!"

Looking over to the other side of the diamond, he saw Takashima Rei—the Seido recruiter—trying to control a boy. He was clearly a recruit brought there to observe the team and decide if Seido is the high school (and baseball team) for him. Kazuya glanced at Rei to see if she needed help, when he did a double take. _Brown hair, gold eyes, noisy….could it be…?_ He looked closely at the other boy. _It could be…I need to get a closer look. Guess this day just got a LOT more interesting_. The boy ( _Ei-chan?)_ continued to taunt the batter, insulting his weight and questioning his ability, while Azuma's face turned redder and redder. Rei intervened, instructing the boys to settle it on the diamond.

Kazuya took this to be his cue, pushed up his glasses and strolled up to the group, behind the noisy pitcher. "This looks interesting," he smirked, "can I catch his pitches?"

The reactions of the others were instantaneous, and as amusing as Kazuya expected—although he was only looking at one person in particular. At the sound of his voice Eijun ( _yes, it was him!_ ) whipped around to see who was speaking. His jaw dropped and he beamed, his smile burning hotter than the noonday sun. "Kazu-kun? Is that you?"

"Hey, Sawamura, long time no see." Kazuya grinned at him, sharp and cutting, "Still having trouble keeping your mouth shut and your head down, huh?"

Rei glanced between the two boys, clearly curious. Eijun frowned, briefly, unsure of what exactly his old friend was doing. "Ha! You know me, always an idiot, right? I just plunge in headfirst sometimes."

Azuma, not one to be ignored, interjected. "Are we doing this or what? Feel free to apologize and back out, I won't think less of you."

"Nope, never gonna apologize, you should treat your teammates better!" shouted Eijun, clearly worked up about the whole situation.

Kazuya smirked. _Yup, same old Ei-chan, always sticking up for what he believed, always running in with guns blazing…one of my favorite things about him. Let's see what else hasn't changed._

"I'll catch for him. That way, maybe I can keep him from hurting himself too badly." he snarked.

Rei turned to Eijun. "Sawamura-kun, you have to understand that Azuma is a third year, who's already been scouted to play professionally after he graduates. There's no shame in backing down from this." She sighed as she looked him over, understanding the hard glint in Eijun's eyes. "Go ahead and get changed, and we'll get this over with. Miyuki-kun, will you please take him to the locker room?"

Kazuya nodded his agreement, and he and Eijun started the trek to the changing rooms.

Eijun held his tongue with difficulty, wanting to question Kazuya about what was going on—why he was acting so differently from the way he remembered. He's unsure _what_ had happened, although he clearly realizes _something_ has, to change his friend like this. Kazuya had always been calculating, observing the world rather than participating, but never so closed, never cruel.

Looking at Eijun, Kazuya wondered how much of his old friend remained. He knew he wasn't the same as he was when they'd last seen each other—walls that hadn't existed were now firmly in place, with foundations set by the pain of leaving everything he ever knew behind to move to the big city with a father who disappeared from his life almost completely, remembered only by dinners left in the fridge and money left on the counter. These walls, the isolation he's taken as salvation, are what kept him going, kept him grounded. His outer shell was one of cynicism and hard, hard truths, couched cleverly in sarcastic comments and a biting wit. On the diamond, he conducted his team flawlessly, bringing out the best in whichever pitcher he was controlling, monitoring the game play closely to bring victory to the team. Off the field, he was known for his terrible personality and wicked laugh, brilliant analytical skills being used to entertain himself at everyone else's expense.

"So, Sa-wa-mu-ra, what brings you to Seido? Are you finally escaping the country life for the big city?" Kazuya queried, trying to get a grip on what his childhood friend had become.

Eijun jumped, startled by the sudden question. "N-no" he stuttered, "I don't want to leave my friends—I want to play with them forever. I just came here because Takashima-san invited me to, and my grandfather made me." Kazuya snickered, remembering Eijun's grandfather, and his method of persuasion—one made up of lots of love and the occasional smack, all delivered with the purest intention, of course. Lost in thought, the boys arrived at the locker room without any further conversation.

Kazuya found a spare uniform for Eijun to use and he changed, relaxing into the comfort of the familiar clothing. After dressing, they headed back to the field. Eijun couldn't hold back any more. "Kaz—I mean Miyuki, why did you stop answering my emails? Why are you here?"

Kazuya ignored the first question, choosing to go with the easier answer, "Why am I here? I'd think that was obvious, even to an idiot like you, Sawamura. I'm here to play baseball."

Eijun's face reddened, and he took a deep breath. Releasing it, he shouted, "You know what I mean, Miyuki Kazuya! What is _wrong_ with you?"

Laughing loudly, Kazuya slung his arm around Eijun's shoulders. "Sorry, sorry—you're just so easy to get a rise out of, I couldn't help myself. Now for the matter at hand—do you want to get that blowhard out or not?" The pitcher nodded as they strolled up to the waiting batter.

Kazuya walked over to retrieve his catching gear, and Rei joined him. "Miyuki, what do you know about Sawamura? He's an interesting pitcher; I'd like your opinion of his pitches."

"We were friends when we were younger; I haven't seen him for four years or so. I have no idea how he pitches now, although I remember he didn't have much control when we were younger. I wouldn't be surprised if that hasn't changed." He shrugged. "I'll let you know what I see."

Approaching the waiting players, Kazuya adjusted his catcher's gear and smirked. "Ready for this?" He led Eijun over to the mound, taking the catcher's box for himself. He passed a ball to the pitcher, preparing to warm him up. Watching carefully, he noted Eijun's surprised face. _That's right, he's not played with a real hard ball yet…let's give him a bit to get used to it._ Tossing the ball back and forth, he waited for the pitcher's face to relax. When it did, he indicated that the warm up was over, and signaled for Azuma to join him at the plate.

"If you want to run away, little boy, do it now! I won't have any mercy on you!" roared Azuma.

Eijun jeered, "I'm going to make YOU beg for mercy!" Kazuya rolled his eyes. _Yup. Same old Ei-chan. More mouth than sense._

Kazuya spread out his arms in the universal signal for 'Throw me the best you've got', and waited. Eijun wound up and pitched. The pitch fell off quickly, hitting the ground before the plate and bouncing. Kazuya caught it, jumped to his feet, and approached the mound.

"What was that? Intimidated by the senior, Sawamura?" He asked, genuinely curious about his old friend.

Eijun shook his head. "No, no! I just felt like if I threw the ball there, he would hit it!"

"Well, you're not wrong, for once." Kazuya snarked, "I thought that if you threw one he hit, it might relax you. Good call." Eijun glared.

"Dammit Miyuki, you jerk! Stop trying to help me, I can do this by myself!"

"What about your speech about the team? I thought Azuma's disregard for his teammates is what got you into this mess. Remember, baseball is not a solo sport, idiot."

"I know, I know…can we just go back to playing?" Eijun whined.

Once again, Kazuya slung his arm around Eijun's shoulders. He squirmed, but didn't try to escape. "Of course we can—let's make him eat his words, partner, what do you say?" The catcher grinned, knowing he'd baited the trap well. _Let's see…team, friends, partners…yes, those are your buttons, aren't they, Ei-chan? I wonder when that happened._

Back in the box, Kazuya squatted and put his mitt up. _Ok, what can you do with this?_ Eijun threw the ball, while the catcher observed his form and the pitch itself. _Interesting form, straight pitch…will he hit…ah, no, what was with that break?_ He caught the pitch, barely.

"Strike one!"

Ten pitches later, it was over. Eijun had successfully struck Azuma out and Kazuya knew exactly what Rei was talking about, and he also knew something else.

 _I want…I want to keep catching his pitches…_

Later that afternoon, after the tour and as he got on the train, something finally dawned on Eijun. He shook his head, grinning. _Bastard Kazu-kun! He never did answer my question!_


	3. Interregnum

_From: Me(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: BastardKazuya(_ _pitch2me .jp_ _)_

 _Subject: Is anyone there?_

 _Miyuki-_

 _I don't know if you'll read this, I'm not even sure if you use this email address any more. I just wanted to let you know that I was glad I got to see you again, to pitch to you again. I am not sure when, if ever, I'll get that opportunity in the future._

 _Seido is an awesome school, and I can see the appeal of the training you can get but I really think I want to keep playing with the team I built in middle school. They're my friends and my team, and I'm not sure I want to leave them; they're more important to me than high-level training. I don't know if you'll get it, but I can't lose any more friends. I know that the high school they are going to is tough to get into and I'm not smart, but I'm going to study hard to pass the entrance exams._

 _I'm not sure what happened to you or why you stopped talking to me, but I need you to understand that I have always considered you to be my best friend. I can't let them down like I feel like I let you down. Please know that I am always here for you in whatever way you need me to be._

 _I've missed you._

 _-Eijun_

Eijun pressed the send button, and the email he'd just composed went flying to its intended receiver. He'd never received an error message, so he thought that email address was still valid, he just didn't know if Kazuya checked that account anymore. He hadn't gotten a reply to any of the emails he'd sent since about six months after the catcher had moved, not long after Kazuya started middle school. Eijun knew that he'd joined the baseball club, and that he was still catching, but that's about all Kazuya would tell him about his life. Eijun continued to email him for another six months, even though he never answered, just letting Kazuya know what was going on in the town they'd lived in and how their team was doing. Eventually, he got discouraged and stopped.

Losing contact with his best friend hurt, a lot. He had no idea why he'd stopped writing and there was absolutely nothing Eijun could do to fix it. He did still send emails occasionally, for birthdays and holidays, chatty letters that said nothing of any import.

In middle school, he eventually joined the baseball team. He recruited new members from his friends and threw himself wholeheartedly into the team, quickly becoming both the captain and its main cheering section. Eijun found himself in the center of a group of people who became good friends, bonding over baseball and school. They played hard, led by Eijun, but were never very good. Except Eijun. Eijun shone, bright as the sun, when he was on the mound. In their last year in middle school, they lost in the first round of the regional tournament—but that was the game Takashima Rei attended. She was scouting someone else, however Eijun was the one who caught her eye on the field that day.

So now he was a little lost. His friends, the ones who played with him and supported him, were expecting him to go to high school with them. They were counting on him—he'd promised to take them to nationals, and meant every word of it. But…and this was a _big_ but…there was Miyuki. Kazuya. Kazu-kun.

 _I miss my best friend._

 _My team needs me to go to Nationals._

 _Something's wrong, something happened when I wasn't around._

 _My team._

 _My friend._

 _Kazuya…_

Eijun shook his head, forcing the thoughts back. He was exhausted, it had been a really long day. _I'll sleep on it…tomorrow I need to talk to the team about the trip anyway._

Kazuya left the shower room and started back to his dorm. He was bone tired—the day had been long, training was harder than usual, since the Summer Tournament was coming up. Add in the whole Eijun event, and yeah, he was exhausted. Seeing Eijun again was a shock; realizing that the pitcher still _mattered_ to him was an even bigger one. He thought he'd gotten over that part of his life, that it was just a happy memory nostalgically tucked away in his mind, never to return. Apparently that was not the case, if the way his mind would not _shut up_ about it was any indication. He wondered what Eijun was thinking, wondered if he'd missed him at all, if he'd forgotten about him. At some points in his life (usually when he was bleeding, patching himself up from another beating by those bigger and dumber than him because he could never learn to keep his mouth _shut_ ) he hoped that the pitcher had moved on, adding Kazuya to that list of people and things that were not worth his time and effort. He should have known better. He _knew_ better, and was reminded of it with every catch-up email Eijun sent. And yet he'd hoped for something different, hoped that the pitcher would give up on him—hoped that he would never see the person he'd become. Cynical. Twisted. All sharp edges and sharper tongue. He heard everything people said about him and gloried in his reputation. No pain. No loneliness. Just a slippery pain in the ass who was one hell of a catcher.

He didn't think he had it in himself to be anything else, didn't think he _wanted_ to be anything else. There was no one left to disappoint, no one around to care. But sometimes, sometimes he wished…and damned himself for wishing. Hated that soft part still alive after all of this time, after all of the attempts to eliminate it. And it all came back to two things, one of which he'd never lost, and the other he'd left behind. Baseball, and Eijun.

Walking into his room, he put away his bath stuff and threw his dirty clothes in the hamper. Kazuya sat down at his desk and turned on his computer to check his email. As the screen loaded, he wondered if he'd get a message from Eijun—actually, he would have been shocked _not_ to get a message from the boy. Yup, there it was, as expected. He read it. Read it again. Closed the email, and promptly moved it to the folder on his computer named 'Ei-chan', adding it to the collection of all the other emails Eijun had ever sent to him.

Kazuya opened a new message.

 _From: Me(pitch2me .jp)_

 _To: Ei-chan(_ _catch4me .jp_ _)_

 _Eijun-_

 _I miss you._

 _I'm sorry._

 _-Kazuya_

After pressing the close button, a message popped up- _'Message not sent, do you want to save as a draft'_. Kazuya pressed yes, adding this email to the collection of emails in the draft folder that he's written in the last four years and never sent.

Logging out of the computer he climbed into bed, ignoring the tears running down his cheeks, knowing that he forgot to say one thing.

 _You're the only one who's ever made me cry._


	4. Off to a Running Start

_From: Me(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: BastardKazuya(_ _pitch2me .jp_ _)_

 _Kazuya-_

 _I'm pretty sure you're not reading this, but I thought I'd let you know that I've decided to attend Seido. Everyone in Nagano thinks it's a good idea._

 _I_ _am unsure, but I know that I want to play with you; I want you to catch my pitches. I also hope that we can become friends again._

 _I think that's what I'm most looking forward to, I've really missed you._

 _See you soon-_

 _-Eijun_

Miyuki was late. For the first day of practice. Coach was going to _kill_ him.

He hadn't gotten much sleep last night—he just couldn't get his brain to stop, so once he was asleep he didn't want to wake up. The off button on his phone was just too easy. _I should set the alarm to require solving an equation before it will turn off…that might help._ He crept towards the back of the shed nearest to the field where the coach had the team lined up. Turning the corner he saw the person who was, inadvertently, the cause of his tardiness. _Well, this is convenient._

"Running late, Sawamura?" He smirked. Eijun jumped. "Oi, Kaz-Miyuki, what are you doing here?"

"Didn't we already have this conversation? I'm here to play baseball, idiot."

"I'm not an idiot, you are! You know what I'm asking."

Kazuya grinned. "I'm just being a good senpai…watching out for my poor lost kohai. Slept in, did you?"

"Hey! You're only six months older than me! Anyway, Kuramochi-senpai didn't wake me up."

"I'm sure that the coach will love that excuse. You'll probably be lucky to see the mound at all this year." Kazuya shifted, glancing at the team lined up in the field. "I have a better idea. What if you join the lineup without Coach noticing you?"

Eijun eyed his friend warily. "What do you mean?" He didn't trust that look.

"Listen…the first years are introducing themselves. Soon, the first row will be done, and everyone's attention will be on that end of the line. If you run really fast, you can sneak into the other end of the second row."

"Wow, that's a terrible idea. Maybe I should just apologize?" Eijun suggested.

"Now that's a great idea. That would be a great first impression, huh? They're getting close to the end, are you going to go?"

Flustered, the pitcher agreed. "Ok, but I have a feeling I'm going to regret this…" Eijun ran, just as the last person is beginning their introduction.

He heard Kazuya's voice yelling loudly behind him, "Hey! That guy's late and trying to sneak into line!" Everyone turned to look at Eijun. He just groaned and looked over at the upperclassmen, glimpsing the catcher sliding into place in the last row. _Kazuya…you are truly a pain in the ass_.

Coach Kataoka was not amused. He had Eijun and his roommates, Kuramochi and Masuko, running laps—as well as the perpetrator of the prank, Miyuki. Kazuya didn't think he should be punished, but Eijun was gratified to see that the coach clearly understood what his catcher was capable of, on and off the field.

While they ran, Eijun took the opportunity to speak to Miyuki. "Hey, Bakayuki, how are you doing? Not the best way to meet up, huh?"

"Sawamura, what are you even doing? You should pay attention to your running, you're in terrible shape. I'm not sure you can afford to slack off, especially now."

"I'll keep up! I'm not going to let you beat me, Miyuki Kazuya! I just wanted to talk to you; it's been a long time."

"What's there to talk about? I don't need you to tell me that you're still the loud mouthed idiot that you've always been. I'm pretty much the same, what you see is what you get." Kazuya let out a laugh, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

Eijun ached. He was, clearly, out of shape to some extent—he played regularly, but didn't do much off-field training. But… _Kazu-kun, you forget. I know your fake smiles. I see the shuttered eyes. Tell me what's going on. Talk to me. Please_. He picked up his feet and continued to run.

After doing the required laps, he and the others apologized profusely to the coach, and training continued.

Having been rebuffed by Kazuya earlier, he decided to back off for a bit, sitting at lunch with two other first years he'd met earlier—Furuya Satoru was a pitcher, while Kominato Haruichi played second base and had an older brother on the team. They were just chatting, getting to know each other, when a couple of second years joined them at the table. Kuramochi was Eijun's roommate, a second year shortstop with a penchant for strange hair color and a considerable repertoire of wrestling moves that he has no qualms about demonstrating on Eijun. With him was Kazuya, of course.

"Oi, you bastard senpais, what do you want?" Eijun yelled.

"Sawamura, you shouldn't talk to the upperclassmen that way!" Haruichi whispered, pulling Eijun back down into his chair.

"Calm down, calm down…can't I sit with the new pitchers? I want to get to know you before we have practice." Kazuya said, innocently. "Plus, this is baby Kominato, right? I've heard a lot about you from your brother." _I'm sorry about this morning Eijun, now maybe you see how crappy my personality is and how little I'm worth your time._

"Aww, Sawamura, don't be like that." Kuramochi smirked, "I'm sorry about this morning. You were just so cute; I didn't want to wake you! Plus, we got punished too, you know."

Eijun just glared and put his head down, trying to eat his required third bowl of rice.

 _From: Me(pitch2me .jp)_

 _To: Ei-chan(_ _catch4me .jp_ _)_

 _Eijun-_

 _I'm so glad you're here._

 _I can't wait to catch for you._

 _I want to talk to you, tell you everything._

 _I just don't know how._

 _Maybe soon._

 _Yes, soon._

 _-Kazuya_


	5. It's Only Words

_From: Me(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: BastardKazuya(_ _pitch2me .jp_ _)_

 _Kazuya-_

 _You tanuki bastard, you got me in trouble! I'm glad Coach caught you too!_

 _Seido is awesome though, with so many players all focused on baseball. I can't wait to pitch to you. Our battery is going to be something else. Furuya is a monster, his pitches are amazing. But I won't lose to him. I won't lose to you either, Miyuki Kazuya!_

 _I miss you, still._

 _I hope you talk to me soon._

 _-Eijun_

As time went on, Eijun realized that there was no way Miyuki was reading these emails. He started using the pitcher's email address as a journal of sorts, a repository for his thoughts and feelings. Writing as though he was talking to his best friend was cathartic, allowing him to channel all his energy into practice (with the occasional diversion into studying).

 _From: Me(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: BastardKazuya(_ _pitch2me .jp_ _)_

 _Kazuya-_

 _Thank you for telling me that the First Year/Senior game was coming up. However, you jerk, you could have told me earlier. I'm excited to be able to be on the mound again. We won't lose!_

 _Why won't you catch for me?_

 _I'm getting better at running; the tire and I are having a good time. School still sucks, though—I know I'm an idiot, but some things are hard._

 _I want you to catch my pitches!_

 _I haven't given up on you._

 _-Eijun_

 _From: Me(pitch2me .jp)_

 _To: Ei-chan(_ _catch4me .jp_ _)_

 _Eijun-_

 _Play well._

 _Train hard._

 _Catch up._

 _I'll be waiting._

 _-Kazuya_

 _From: Me(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: BastardKazuya(_ _pitch2me .jp_ _)_

 _Kazuya-_

 _Well, I made it to the second string. I'm going to be working with Chris-senpai, and I wish it was you. I understand that you have to work with Furuya; he is on the first string—but still. I miss you. I want to talk to you. I don't understand why Chris-senpai has me doing all of these exercises; he won't even catch my pitches._

 _I'm not giving up, though! I want to form a battery with you, and I will do whatever it takes._

 _Maybe you'll talk to me soon?_

 _I've got to go; Kuramochi wants to try out some new wrestling moves, I need to hide._

 _\- Eijun_

 _From: Me(pitch2me .jp)_

 _To: Ei-chan(_ _catch4me .jp_ _)_

 _Eijun-_

 _I'm jealous of Chris-senpai._

 _I want to be the one who helps you learn._

 _-Kazuya_

 _From: Me(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: BastardKazuya(_ _pitch2me .jp_ _)_

 _Kazuya-_

 _That game was so much fun! I got to form a battery with Chris-senpai—he's amazing!_

 _I've learned so much from him, he knows how to be a real senpai, unlike certain tanuki bastards I know. My pitching has gotten better; who knew that the way you hold the ball could make such a difference? I didn't realize how important having a high-caliber coach can be. Sometimes I really feel like the idiot you are always claiming I am._

 _I hope Chris-senpai gets back on first string—he's worked so hard to recover from his injury._

 _I want to pitch to you, though, and I won't lose to Furuya or anyone else. I won't stop until we play together. That is, after all, the reason I came to Seido. You._

 _-Eijun_

 _From: Me(pitch2me .jp)_

 _To: Ei-chan(_ _catch4me .jp_ _)_

 _Eijun-_

 _You played well._

 _We'll play together soon._

 _-Kazuya_

 _From: Me(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: BastardKazuya(_ _pitch2me .jp_ _)_

 _Kazuya-_

 _I made first string. Chris-senpai did not. I really don't know how I feel about this. He's so good, such an great player, probably a better catcher than you are. And he's not playing._

 _It doesn't seem fair._

 _I know I write these notes like you don't know what's happened, but since you don't read them, it doesn't matter much, does it?_

 _I'm number 20. That means I'm_ barely _good enough for the team. But, I'm only a first year, and I will work hard to get better. I'm going to be the ace, going to wear that number one jersey._

 _Summer training camp is coming up. I've heard nothing but evil about it. Coach is scary enough in regular practice, I don't know if I'll survive a training camp._

 _If I die, don't let Furuya have my tire._

 _Now that I am first string, you're going to have to catch my pitches, Miyuki Kazuya, you won't have a choice. So take some responsibility, you shitty senpai!_

 _-Eijun_

 _From: Me(pitch2me .jp)_

 _To: Ei-chan(_ _catch4me .jp_ _)_

 _Eijun-_

 _Bring it._

 _I'm ready._

 _I can't wait._

 _-Kazuya_

 _From: Me(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: BastardKazuya(_ _pitch2me .jp_ _)_

 _Kazuya-_

 _I'm dead, officially dead. The training camp was harder than anything I've ever done. I think that I used every extra bit of energy I had in my body. Now I understand the 3 bowls of rice thing, I think I've eaten more rice this week than I've eaten in the last year._

 _But! Battery! ! We got to form a battery in that practice match, and I couldn't have been happier. We're so much better than we were (duh!), but it still felt the same—like we were back playing together in primary. It just felt right. I liked playing with Chris-senpai, but playing with you felt like the place I was supposed to be. You're not reading this, so you can't make fun of me for saying this stupid stuff, Bakayuki._

 _It was good. I want to feel that again. I want us to be on the field together forever._

 _Partners._

 _On to the summer tournament! Let's go to Nationals!_

 _-Eijun_

 _From: Me(pitch2me .jp)_

 _To: Ei-chan(_ _catch4me .jp_ _)_

 _Eijun-_

 _Me too._

 _Yeah._

 _-Kazuya_

 _From: Me(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: BastardKazuya(_ _pitch2me .jp_ _)_

 _Kazuya-_

 _I'm sorry. It was all my fault. I failed. I'm not good enough. I let everyone down._

 _I don't even know why I'm here. I'm useless; I couldn't even do the one thing I needed to do._

 _I let you down. I will never be any good. I was fooling myself to think I could do anything differently._

 _We were in a clutch, you were doing your job beautifully…but I couldn't deliver. If I can't even throw the one pitch I do reliably, what is the point?_

 _The senpai were counting on me. I let them down, and now they're gone. It's all my fault._

 _I can't pitch. I can't play. I'm not worth anyone's time or trouble._

 _I'll keep playing, though; I don't know what else to do. But I know I'm worthless, and that my being on the first string is a fluke._

 _Coach is right to make me run and to keep me away from the ball._

 _I'm proud of you for being named Captain. You're brilliant and will do a great job._

 _Even if you are a manipulative bastard._

 _Maybe_ because _you're a manipulative bastard._

 _-Eijun_

 _From: Me(pitch2me .jp)_

 _To: Ei-chan(catch4me .jp)_

 _Eijun-_

 _I'll fix this._

 _-Kazuya_

 _From: Me(miyukik )_

 _To: Ei-chan(_ _catch4me .jp_ _)_

 _Eijun-_

 _I hope you are still using this account, I just wanted to talk to you. I know you've been trying to speak with me, but for me some things are easier written._

 _The last game was brutal. I am so sorry that I didn't realize how stressed you were. I was so focused on the game, I failed to keep my eye on my team. It was my fault. Actually,_ that _was my fault, but it wasn't my fault that we lost._ Neither was it your fault _. Everyone made mistakes, everyone blames themselves. You did what you could, we all did. Yes, it's disappointing, but that happens. We just got out-played. Next time—we'll get them next time._

 _I'm so glad we're playing together again. I hope you're back on the mound soon; I want to catch for you._

 _You were my first friend, and you will always be my best friend._

 _Hope to hear from you-_

 _-Kazuya_


	6. Picking Up the Pieces

Eijun trudged slowly to his dorm room. He was exhausted, mentally and physically. Training had been brutal. Fed and bathed, he just wanted to go to bed and try to sleep—hopefully tonight he'd be able to do so. Be able to stop his brain from working, repeating the same scene over and over. He was just so _damned_ tired.

He opened the door and let out a sigh of relief. Kuramochi-senpai wasn't back yet, he had the room to himself. Eijun stepped into the room, closed the door and dropped both his bag and his smile. Here, in private, he could stop pretending that everything was fine, that he'd recovered from that terrible, terrible play he'd made. He flopped down on his bed, staring at the bottom of the bunk above his. _Probably should do homework, maybe check my email…hope I don't get any messages from Nagano, I don't think I have the energy to respond correctly._ Sighing, he got up from bed and collected his bag before sitting down at the desk to get his work done.

Turning on the computer, he took his books out of his bag and attempted to bring them into some kind of order. _Uggh…Math…English…History…I think that's all for tonight._ The work was done quickly; it seemed like he'd been doing better in his studies, ironically. Anything that took his complete concentration was better than thinking about _that_. Finishing up the last of the essay he was writing, he repacked his books and put his book bag to one side.

He logged into his email dreading what he'd see, but knowing that he'd need to deal with it or deal with the wrath of his grandfather if he ever found out. _Ok, let's see…three new emails…Wakana, dammit, I knew it…I have no idea what I'm going to say to her. Baseball Weekly…Miyuki Kazuya? Huh?_ His mind a blank, he opened the email and started to read.

By the end of the email, he was sobbing. And smiling. For the first time in days, his smile didn't hurt.

That night, he was able to sleep deeply, with no interruptions.

 _From: Me(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: BastardKazuya(miyukik )_

 _Kazuya-_

 _I am so happy to hear from you. I've missed being able to talk to you. If this is the way you want to talk, I'm in._

 _Thank you for saying that stuff about the game. I_ know _a lot of it, but sometimes knowing doesn't help. I still feel like it's my fault. I let them down, and now they're gone. I'm sure that in time I will feel better, but for now I'm having a hard time assimilating it._

 _I'm trying to learn from it, trying to be ok. But for today, I'm not ok._

 _Congrats on being the captain, you'll be great at it, you manipulative bastard._

 _I know it will be hard being the captain, catcher and the clean-up. I'm here if you ever need to vent or just talk. However, whenever._

 _I still want to pitch to you._

 _I missed you._

 _-Eijun_

Kazuya trudged slowly to his dorm room. He was exhausted. He'd had practice as well as an in-depth meeting with the coaches. They had been reviewing the tape of the Inashiro game, trying to figure out what and where to improve in the aftermath. Practice was going to have to ramp up to prepare for the Fall Tournament, and they had lost the third years. They would need a lot of work to shape up the new team and to recover their spirit. It was this way every year when the upperclassmen left; the team would slump for a bit. Especially after the heart-breaking loss Seido had experienced, it was going to take some work to get things back to good. That was one of Kazuya's worries; this was a task that'd fallen to him, since he was the new captain.

 _Captain, huh…I have no idea how to lead. What were they thinking?_ He knew he wasn't a cheerleader; he wasn't good at encouraging in a straightforward way. He was able to get people to perform their best, but it was frequently through irritation or sarcasm. He just was not nice. Nor was he a rock, the kind of person that people could lean on like Yuuki had been. He was not sure how having him doing the job could benefit the team, how someone like him could be helpful.

Kazuya let himself into his room. _Hopefully, there won't be a gathering here tonight, I really need some rest…_ He usually didn't mind the mini invasions that happened on a regular basis—he did have a room to himself, so there was more room for the team to spread out. But tonight was just not a good night for it, he was exhausted and didn't think he had the mental power to hide his worries right now.

His eyes fell on his computer. _I wonder…_ Turning it on, he checked his email. Sure enough, there was an email from Eijun. Now this, this was one burden he didn't mind shouldering. He opened the email and read it. _Idiot..._ He grinned, and started to type. Finishing the email, he closed the program and started watching a movie. Within thirty minutes he was asleep, sleeping soundly in the soft light of his laptop screen, glasses still on his face.

 _From: Me(miyukik )_

 _To: Ei-chan(catch4me .jp)_

 _Eijun-_

 _Wow, when did you learn a big word like_ assimilating _? Don't hurt yourself trying to think, Bakamura!_

 _Really, though, I'm glad you still use that old email address, glad you emailed me back._

 _Practice today was brutal, huh? I know it's going to be hard for a bit, and that's fine, but we have to keep going. We can't do anything else, we can't let the senpais hard work go to waste._

 _One day at a time, Ei-chan, and eventually it will be alright. Actually, I hope it's never alright with us to lose, especially that particular game, but it will be something we learn from, something we can move on from._

 _I want to answer all of your questions, especially the one that you asked me that first day, but I'm not sure how. I can hear you now, 'Just tell me, you tanuki bastard!' But it's not as easy for me to say. It's not anything dramatic or exciting, it's just life. Life happened._

 _I'm sure you'll figure out much of what's been going on with me anyway—even though you are an idiot, you can be surprisingly perceptive._

 _So, let's try this for now. I'll tell you something nobody knows about me, ok?_

 _I'm terrified about being the captain._

 _I'm not Yuuki. I have no idea how to lead; I don't know how to help._

 _Clearly there was some reason that they picked me, that Yuuki recommended me. I just don't know what that was, and don't want to let the team down by not being the leader they need right now._

 _It's late, I'm going to bed; I'll see you at breakfast._

 _Thank you for not giving up on me._

 _-Kazuya_


	7. Worries and Friends

Eijun threw himself into training. More pitches, more running, more batting. Fielding practice. Whatever he was asked to do, he did it. And then, when he was done with practice, he'd eat dinner and practice more. He was determined to fix himself, become better and more reliable. He wanted to be the ace.

"Catch my pitches, Miyuki Kazuya!" rang across the practice field on a daily basis. "My tire is my one true love!" he sang as he ran laps in the dusk. He was exhausting to watch, but he was also a source of motivation for the team, a bright light they could both laugh at and be inspired by. However, he was also overworking himself and that would have to stop. There was only one person tasked with putting the end to the overtraining, and that was the current team captain.

Kazuya walked out to the practice field, hoping that the pitcher was close to this side of the field, he did not want to have to chase him down—he was tired and just wanted to take a bath and go to bed. "Oi, Sawamura!" he shouted, seeing the pitcher rounding a corner. Well, at least he's not dragging that stupid tire this time…

Eijun stopped and waited for Kazuya to catch up to him. "What do you want? I'm trying to run!"

"Is that any way to talk to your captain and senpai? Show some respect!" Kazuya barked. "I'm out here precisely because you are running, idiot. You're overworking, you need to stop. You won't be any good if you're exhausted or if you hurt yourself."

"I'm fine, I'm fine…I was just working off some extra energy!" Eijun replied, bending over with his hands on his knees to catch his breath. "And I don't need to show respect, you're a crappy senpai! But you are the captain so I'll do what you say, even if you're a tanuki."

They started walking back towards the dorms, the silence between them comfortable.

"Seriously, Sawamura, you're overtraining. I understand what you're doing but it has to stop, you're going to get hurt. If that happens, you're no good to the team." Shots fired, Kazuya thought, straight across the bow…now let's sink this little bit of foolishness, shall we? He looked at Eijun, who had seemed to be deep in thought.

"If you keep this up, I'll tell Chris-senpai. He's warned you about training too much, hasn't he?" A bit heavy-handed, but that idiot doesn't get subtlety. Explosion happening in 3…2…1…

"Miyuki Kazuya, you sneaky jerk!" Eijun sputtered, "I get it, I get it. I'll be careful."

"Don't be careful, be safe. Stop with at least some of the extra training, ok? Take a break every now and then. If you want to work on something, work on your ball control, it's really been sucking lately. "

"I know! Why do you think I've been working so hard? I have to get better!"

"Work smarter, idiot, if that's possible for you, not just harder." Kazuya smirked at the pitcher. I know what's coming next, he's so predictable. 'Catch my pitches right now!'

Eijun grinned, and looked at Kazuya. "I don't have to think about working smarter, that's your job. I just have to do what you tell me to."

Kazuya started, and looked at his friend. Well, that was unexpected… Sometimes you still surprise me, Eijun, I hope that doesn't stop.

"Ok, then I'm telling you to quit for the night and go get some rest. Do your homework if you can, just don't hurt yourself thinking too hard."

"Aye, aye captain!" Eijun saluted, performed a perfectly executed bow, and spun in place, walking off to his room.

"Idiot…" muttered Kazuya, a fond grin on his face.

From: Me(catch4me .jp)

To: BastardKazuya(miyukik )

Kazuya-

I hope you've gotten some sleep, you look really tired.

I'll do what you say and slow down, but I know that I'm not where I should be, and it's frustrating. I just think if I do a little more, push a little harder, things will fall into place.

Ah, well, we shall see, huh?

I'm looking forward to the scrimmages later this week, and really excited to play Yakushi again. We might have some problems with them, Rachi is an incredible hitter, and Sanada is a great pitcher. I hope I get a chance to talk to him, he's sure to have some tips for me.

Something you don't know about me:

I'm actually not nearly as bad in school as you think. When I pay attention in class, I do get good grades.

I got a 96 on my last Japanese Literature test. The problem is that I have a hard time focusing sometimes. But recently, it's been easier to do so, and my grades are better. That's good, right?

I guess I should go do my homework, I'll see you tomorrow.

-Eijun

Kazuya walked out of his dorm room, headed to the drink machine. He needed some coffee, his homework was piling up and he needed to deal with it. They'd played a couple of scrimmages, and he was getting a clearer picture of where the team was at. The loss of the senpai was most felt on offense, there wasn't the power in the batting lineup that they'd had previously.

Putting the correct change into the machine, he pressed the button and bent over to pick up the can. And then there was Eijun…

"Miyuki-senpai!" Kazuya heard his name being called in a soft voice. He turned around and saw Haruichi standing behind him. "Do you have a minute?" The first year asked.

"Of course, do you want a drink?" he offered.

Haruichi smiled and held up his own can of coffee. "I'm fine, thanks. I think we both had the same idea. Zono and I are going to be practicing batting in a bit, I needed some energy."

They walked over to a discarded weight training bench against the wall and sat down. "Now, how can I help?" the captain inquired.

Haruichi fidgeted, clearly uncomfortable. "Have you noticed anything unusual going on with Eijun?"

"What do you mean—can you explain what you're seeing?" Kazuya leaned forward, clearly interested.

"I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I don't think he's doing as well as he'd like everyone to think. He's putting up a front but I know him, I know how he looks when he's ok. He's clearly not ok." Kazuya looked closely at Haruichi. I thought I was the only one who'd noticed that his smiles were off, his laugh a little too forced; Eijun, you've found yourself a good friend. I'm glad.

"Thank you, Haruichi. I'll keep my eye on the idiot. Please let me know if you notice anything else." Kazuya got up from his seat, and waited for the first year to join him.

"I will. Thank you for listening to me, Miyuki-senpai. Enjoy your evening." Haruichi walked off in the direction of the practice building.

Kazuya walked back to his dorm room, drinking his coffee. As he got closer, he saw someone leaning against the wall, waiting for him. Approaching the door, he realized that it was Kuramochi. I wonder what he wants? I hope he's not looking for another round of Mario Kart.

"Oi, Miyuki. I need to talk to you." Kuramochi said, standing up from his leaning position.

"Look, I'm too tired to deal with your crying, so no Mario Kart tonight, OK?" Kazuya smirked.

"Asshole. That's not what I wanted—I really need to talk to you about something. In private."

"Alright, come on in." Kazuya unlocked his door, and invited the other boy in. This is interesting, I wonder what's going on. Could be bad.

Kuramochi stepped in and removed his shoes. Walking over to the desk, he sat down. "Have you noticed anything strange about Sawamura?"

"I think he pretty much is the definition of strange—is there something specific you'd like to discuss?" Kazuya asked. Second one today—Eijun, you're a wonder. Do you have any idea how many people care about you?

Kuramochi frowned. "I'm not sure what's going on, but he's not his normal idiot self. You've got him to stop running like he's prepping for a marathon, which is good. However he's still not acting like himself. He doesn't fight back when I wrestle with him and he's even reading. On purpose. Real books, not baseball magazines. I caught him reading Crime and Punishment this afternoon. Fucking Dostoevsky, Miyuki. His side of the room is clean. His homework is done. He's clearly broken. Fix this."

"And just what do you think I can do?" snarked Kazuya, genuinely curious. "Wouldn't those changes be considered good things?" This is worse than I thought.

Kuramochi snarled. "Fuck, Miyuki, you bastard." He ran his hands through his hair. "in anyone else, yes, I'd say this was a good thing. But not with Bakamura. Something's not right, he's not recovered as much as he'd like us to think."

"I'm really not sure what I can do to help." The catcher commented.

"I don't know either, idiot, but you're the captain so take some responsibility, dammit. Fix him." Kuramochi slipped out the door, closing it firmly behind him.

Kazuya threw himself back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. I have no clue how to fix this—let's get started on this homework. Maybe something will come to me.

An hour later he'd managed to get through his math assignment, but he had a sneaking suspicion that half of the answers were wrong. Putting his books away, he sighed, taking off his glasses. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and tried to think of something he could do to help Eijun. I still have absolutely no idea, other than the obvious. What's the use of having a brain if you can't help someone who needs it? There's got to be some way I can help him.

From: Me(miyukik )

To: Ei-chan(catch4me .jp)

Eijun-

Hey, idiot, what am I going to do with you?

You know, people are really worried about you. I know that you've only been pretending to be ok, I can see it clearly. I thought it was only me that saw it because I've known you for so long, but that's not true. I've been approached(cornered, in one case) by two different people tonight telling me that they were concerned about you.

I don't know how to help you. I can't fix this for you. I can't carry this burden for you, as much as I would like to do so.

All I can tell you is that you're not alone. There are people who care. There are people who will help you, will be glad to help you. All you have to do is ask.

I know you don't want to be a bother. I know you think you have to do it alone. Neither one of those things are true, though. You're not a bother. You're not alone.

That's all I can say. If you want to talk about this, I'm here.

Something you don't know about me:

When I was a first year in middle school, I was a little shit. That part is not a surprise.

I was pissed at the world, and didn't know how to keep my mouth shut. I was also the best player on my team, already a good catcher, and had no patience for idiots or lazy players(again, no surprise). I ran my mouth off once too many times to some upperclassmen who were not happy that this scrawny four-eyed first year dared tell them that they weren't perfect. I got the biggest beating of my life from them. Bruised eyes, busted lips, kicks in the stomach. All I remember clearly is pain and blood. I think that was the first time I was really scared for myself. I got home and cleaned myself up. I was 12. My father didn't notice. The next day, I was back at practice. I didn't stop playing, I didn't stop running my mouth, but those boys never bothered me again. I've never told anyone that story.

What I learned from that? It wasn't a lesson as much as a reaffirmation of something I already knew. I was alone. My father was never going to be there for me.

Anyway, I am not my father. I see you, and I'm here for you if you need me in whatever capacity you'd like me to be.

Get some rest, tomorrow is the Yakushi game, and Raichi is a beast.

-Kazuya


	8. Yakushi and Clarity

Kazuya leaned against the wall in the dugout. It was the fifth inning of the Seido-Yakushi game, and Seido was ahead by one run. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Eijun walk up to the coach, "Can I pitch, starting this inning?" he asked.

"Just be on standby." the coach replied.

"But it's been five innings, and according to the plan…" Eijun protested.

"That's enough. Just be on standby." Coach Kataoka continued, "Being ready based on the situation is a relief pitcher's duty." Kazuya stood up straight and watched Eijun carefully. He saw his hands clench and his eyes widen at the coach's words.

 _Relief pitcher, huh...this isn't good,_ Kazuya thought, _this is so not good. I'm not sure what this is going to do to him. His confidence is already shot, his control is non existent, and now this._

Eijun walked over to the bullpen and started talking to Nori, gesticulating wildly, probably rambling about being the starter or ace. He seemed to have shaken the coach's words off, but Kazuya wasn't convinced.

The game continued. In the seventh inning, the score was 2-0, Seido. Coach Kataoka told Eijun he was going into the game, and sent Furya to the outfield. Once Eijun was on the mound, Kazuya could only look on with horror as the pitcher imploded. With the bases loaded, Eijun threw a wild pitch that Kazuya couldn't catch, giving up three runs in the process. The coach pulled him out immediately, sending Furuya back into play. After the game, which Seido lost 7-2, Coach Kataoka called Eijun into his office along with Nori and Kazuya.

Once there, the coach questioned Eijun about his performance. He suggested that Eijun had the yips, thereby making him unable to throw to the inside—which was his only reliable pitch. Because of that, he explained, Eijun was going have a different training routine and he wasn't going to touch a ball until further notice. He also instructed Eijun to work on his lower body strength; the team was going to need him in the Fall Tournament. Kazuya kept an eye on Eijun the whole time, carefully gauging the boy's reaction. _Well, at least he's not given up on him...it could be worse. I need to talk to Eijun afterwards, this was partially my fault. Some friend I am._

When the coach dismissed them to go shower and have dinner, Kazuya tried to talk to Eijun, but the boy didn't respond. His eyes were dark, with none of their usual sparkle. At dinner, whenever he looked over at Eijun, all Kazuya could think was _wrong wrong wrong wrong, bad bad so very bad._

As for Eijun, his brain seemed to be on autopilot. He showered and ate, but had no idea what it was he had for dinner(except three bowls of rice, because that was the rule) or who he spoke with. Nothing seemed real; he felt like he was sleepwalking. He knew that at some point he would understand what was happening, but it didn't seem like it was going to be anytime soon. As he put away his tray he was watched carefully by the entire first string, all of them with concern in their eyes. On his way to the door, Eijun passed by a table full of reserve players. He heard one of them whispering to his friend—he couldn't hear exactly what they were saying, but he did hear one word. "Yips".

With that one word, the fog in his brain lifted and he remembered. He remembered _everything_. Tears started to well up in his eyes as he walked out the door, looking over his shoulder one last time. He met Kazuya's eyes and quickly turned away, not wanting his friend to see him like this, not _deserving_ to have his friend see him like this. After all, it was, _again_ , all his fault.

He fled the building and headed out to the practice field at a jog. _Away, away, got to get away, can't let anyone see me like this._ He didn't see the looks Kuramochi and Haruichi exchanged with Kazuya, nor did he see Kazuya getting up quickly to follow him.

He didn't see anything because he _couldn't_ see anything, the tears were overwhelming.

Kazuya stepped out of the cafeteria and looked around. He didn't see Eijun anywhere, but he had a good idea where he'd gone—probably. _Running, I'm sure, but where?_ He figured he'd check the fields in order, starting with the practice field Eijun usually used.

Arriving at the first practice field, he didn't see anyone running. It was dusk, so it was hard to make out shapes, but there didn't appear to be anyone moving around. He was just about to go to the next field when he saw someone collapsed on the pitcher's mound. _Oh, Eijun..._ He looked so small with his arms wrapped around his knees, head ducked down. It was hard sometimes to remember that this kid was only a first year, just barely sixteen, his personality and impact was so huge.

Kazuya felt the tears start to form in his own eyes—his friend looked so broken, so devastated. He walked over to the mound and sat down in front of Eijun. Reaching out, he pulled the boy into a hug, holding him close. Eijun clung to him and sobbed harder, having no idea that Kazuya was in tears as well. Together, they wept. Mourned the loss of confidence, the loss of innocence. They felt the pain of knowing that you're just not good enough, that you may never be good enough and the impotence that comes with having to watch a friend in trouble, unable to do anything to ease the situation. It also, somehow, felt to the boys like they were grieving for the lost years, the time that they were separated.

Eventually, as these things do, the tears wound down. Eijun went from sobbing hysterically to the occasional hitching breath, Kazuya holding him tightly and rubbing circles in his back. After a bit Eijun pulled away, eyes still downcast.

"Feeling better?" Kazuya asked. Eijun nodded and looked up at the catcher, eyes still full of tears. "I don't suppose you brought anything to wipe your nose on, did you?" Eijun looked down again, shamefacedly, and shook his head. Kazuya pushed the hair out of the boy's eyes and said "Well, it can't be helped, I guess." as he pulled off his shirt and handed it to Eijun. The night was cooling off a bit, but he was still warm enough in his undershirt.

"Thank you, Miyuki-senpai." Eijun said, blowing his nose and scrubbing at his eyes. Kazuya let out a snort. 'Now you call me senpai, Eijun? It's a little late for that, idiot."

"Shut up, you shitty senpai." Eijun replied, without heat. He looked at the catcher, tear tracks on his face, and asked "What am I going to do now, Kazu-kun?" The sorrow and uncertainty that Kazuya heard in his voice nearly brought him to tears again. _Fuck._

"You're going to do what you can, nothing more and nothing less." the catcher replied, tightening his hold for just a second. "There's nothing else for you to do. If the coach says run, you run. Run until your head clears and your lungs ache. If he asks you to pitch, you throw the damned ball as best you can. If he asks you to do anything, do it. Do it to the best of your ability. No one is going to fault you for what you can't do right now; anyone who does is an asshole not worth your consideration." He wiped Eijun's face again, and continued. "At least now we know what's going on. The yips aren't easy to fight, but they can be overcome. You just have to be patient—which I know isn't your strong suit—but you have got to give yourself time."

"We don't have time though, Miyuki, the Fall Tournament is coming." Eijun sighed.

"Again," Kazuya interjected, before Eijun could start down the spiral of gloom,"You do what you can, and trust us to do the rest."

"I'll try," Eijun nodded."Thanks again, Miyuki-senpai."

"What are friends for? Anyway, I think you should probably get some rest, it's getting late. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. Let's head back."

They walked back to the dorms, side by side, with their arms brushing occasionally. At the stairway, they parted to go to their rooms with a quiet "Good Night." Eijun took the shirt to wash and return.

 _I hope he gets some rest, he looks exhausted,_ both boys thought.

 _From: Me(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: BastardKazuya(miyukik )_

 _Kazuya-_

 _I'm sorry for burdening you with my problems. I know I'm not much good to the team right now, but I'm going to keep working on it._

 _I won't lose to the yips._

 _I won't lose to myself._

 _I won't allow this problem to define or negate me._

 _Thank you._

 _You're_ _an amazing captain, and a better friend._

 _Something you don't know about me:_

 _I quit playing baseball for a while. After you left, and after you stopped talking to me, I lost all motivation to play. I quit the league I was playing in, stopped completely. It didn't make sense to me to play when the person I wanted to play with was nowhere around. I didn't start up again until middle school, when my friends convinced me to join the school club because they needed a pitcher. It was there that I discovered that I liked playing with a team, that the support of friends could make all the difference. I still missed you, but I was able to throw myself into playing with my team. We sucked, really, as a team we never won anything. I think that's how I got to be ok with losing and handling pressure when we are in a tight situation._

 _Disappointing my team is something I never got to be fine with, though._

 _I just want to be of use to the team, even if I'm not able to perform at my usual level._

 _Get some rest, and please try not to worry about me, I'll be fine._

 _-Eijun_

Within a few days, everyone on the team knew what was going on with Eijun. Kazuya was not surprised to see Kuramochi approach his desk with a worried look on his face.

"What are you going to do?" Kuramochi demanded.

"About what?"Kazuya asked, even though he knew the answer. _I don't know, I think I have a plan though. I've got to think it through._ "Sawamura, you bastard! You know he needs help, so help him! It's what captains do!" Kuramochi exploded, looking like he wanted to punch something, preferably the catcher in front of him.

Kazuya smirked at him. "I can't, I have to worry about the team right now. The preliminaries for the Fall Tournament are coming up, and we have to get ready. Anyway, shouldn't you be more worried about our dismal batting performance?"

"I am! But Sawamura is the mood-maker of the team, he's important!"

"That's true. I just don't think I can help him. It's partially my fault that he had such a rough time in that last game; I pushed him too hard, harping on him about his control at every chance I got." Kazuya looked at the shortstop with regret in his eyes. "I agree that he's a vital part of this team. If he doesn't recover, I'd be the one most bothered." _You have no idea how much I would be bothered._

"You don't make any sense, Miyuki, you've just totally contradicted yourself!"

"I know." Kazuya chortled. Kuramochi just rolled his eyes and strolled away, knowing that he'd at least gotten his captain's brain working on the problem.

Eijun had done nothing but run all week during practice, per the coach's orders. He knew that it was necessary, that he wasn't doing it for a punitive measure but it still bothered him. _I'm weak...but I'm going to get stronger, I just have to keep working._ The Fall Tournament began, with Eijun watching from the dugout the whole game. After that first win, Eijun was sent into the bullpen to pitch to Kazuya. The coach had Eijun recorded while he pitched, both with and without a batter, in an attempt to pin down his problem. Afterwards, Kazuya watched the footage with interest. _I see...so when there's a batter you're not following through, you're worried about the inside pitch. I can't tell you anything that will fix your form, so let me just do this._ "Oi, Sawamura! You're thinking too hard and you're going to hurt yourself. Your control has never been good because you're too big of an idiot!" Eijun couldn't do anything but nod in agreement.

After the meeting, Kazuya visited two people. The first one was Chris. He spoke with him about Eijun and showed him the footage of his pitching, asking him if he could help. Chris agreed to do what he could and said he'd catch up with Sawamura as soon as possible.

Next, Kazuya went to Eijun's room. He asked the surprised pitcher to come outside with him and took him down to the drink machines. Putting in some money, he bought drinks for himself and Eijun. "Here you go." He waved toward the bench against the wall, "Let's talk."

"Sure, Miyuki, what do you want to talk about?" Eijun queried, eyebrows raised.

Miyuki sat down beside his friend. "How are you doing? I just wanted to check in on you." _I'm worried about you._

"I'm ok. I've gotten closer to my tire! Boss had me running all week." _I'm not sure what you're asking, where this is coming from?_

"Seriously. Eijun, how are you?" _Talk to_ me _, dammit, not to the team captain._

 _Oh, wow. Ok, this I can do. Kazuya I've missed talking to you so much._ "Sorry, Kazuya, I'm just...I'm just doing what you said. Doing what I can, doing what I'm asked to the fullest of my abilities. I'm working to get stronger. Sometimes I get discouraged. I don't want to be a bother and I know that Kuramochi-senpai gets worried, so when that happens I run laps. Or pitch at the net, just trying to get my mind back where it needs to be." Tears gathered in the corners of Eijun's eyes, and he wiped them away angrily. "I'm going to get over this, I really am!" he vowed.

"Good, good." Kazuya reached over and rubbed Eijun's back, tracing small circles. "Thank you for telling me—I want you to be able to talk to me whenever you feel the need. I have an idea, but I'm not sure it will work out so we'll discuss it later, alright? In the meantime, please keep on doing what you are doing. The team needs you to be ok. _I_ need you to be ok."

Eijun leaned over and rested his forehead on Kazuya's shoulder. "Thank you, Kazu-kun. I appreciate it." _You have no idea how much you're helping, do you?_ The catcher reached over and patted his friend's head.

Finishing his drink, he stood up and stretched. "Anytime, Eijun. Anytime you need me, you know where to find me. We should probably get back, huh? I bet you have some homework to do, and I don't want you up all night straining what little brains you have left."

"Oi! You tanuki bastard, I'll have you know I'm doing well in my classes!" Eijun sputtered, throwing his empty can in the trash. _Back to normality, huh? Well, it was nice while it lasted, maybe it will happen again._

Miyuki smirked, "Sure, sure, I'll believe it when I see it." he snickered. "Get some rest. I'll talk to you again soon." _Yes. We will talk again. I didn't realize how much I wanted to just talk to you, Eijun._

"Goodnight, Miyuki-senpai." _Sleep well, Kazuya._

 _From: Me(miyukik )_

 _To: Ei-chan(catch4me .jp)_

 _Eijun-_

 _I'm glad to see that you're doing better, although I'd expect no less from you. You've always been amazingly resilient, taking everything in and learning from it._

 _I've been really worried about you._

 _To tell the truth, the whole team is._

 _Something you don't know about me:_

 _I'm a really good cook._ _I learned to cook because my father was never around and I got tired of instant meals._

 _I hoped, when I started, that good meals might bring my father around more. It didn't work. By the time I gave up on that, I realized that I really enjoyed it and was good at it. I find being in the kitchen to be relaxing. I don't do it as much since I'm living here, but I borrow the school kitchen every once in a while._

 _I'll cook something for you sometime._

 _Good work today, I know it's hard but it will all be worth it in the end, I promise._

 _-Kazuya_


	9. A New Goal

Eijun threw another ball at the net. He was alone in the practice building, Haruichi and Zono having ended their batting practice a while ago. He pitched steadily, trying not to think too much. He knew Kazuya was right, he'd been over thinking and that's not the way he learned. His body needed to feel the action rather than his brain thinking about it. Once the movement was ingrained, he wouldn't forget it.

"I see you're pitching a lot." Eijun heard a familiar voice behind him and spun around. "Do you check your grip every time you pitch?" Chris walked across the floor, smiling at Eijun, with a mitt on his hand.

"Chris-senpai!" Eijun exclaimed, overjoyed to see his mentor. "I haven't seen you in awhile!" _I've missed you…you and the other third years._

"Why don't you throw me some pitches?" Chris asked, eyes running over Eijun, confirming everything Miyuki told him. _I can't get you over the yips, but I think I can give you another weapon._

Eijun pitched to Chris for a while, seemingly fine. "Your pitching looks good, Sawamura."

"I don't have any problems when there's not a batter." Eijun explained, ruefully.

"I understand. There is one more thing I'd really like to teach you."

Chris then demonstrated to Eijun the low and away pitch, the opposite of the inside pitch Eijun was used to using. "If you can master this, you'll have a great pitch that looks like it's so far away that the batter won't react. Don't try to throw inside if you can't, learn to throw outside. Later, when you regain your inside pitch, you'll have a combination of formidable pitches that will serve you well."

Eijun lit up, happy to have another goal, some help from the catcher who'd helped him so much already. "Yes Chris-senpai, I will work on it! Thank you for showing me." Eijun bowed to Chris, deeply grateful.

"No worries, that's something I've been wanting to show you for a while—I just hadn't had the chance." Chris replied, ruffling Eijun's hair. _He's smiling, his eyes look better…If you get control over your pitches, you'll be unbeatable._

The following morning, Eijun was on his way to practice when he heard someone call his name. Turning around, he saw Kazuya heading over to him.

"Oi, idiot! I've been calling you for a while, pay attention!" Kazuya scolded the boy.

"I didn't hear you, Miyuki Kazuya!" Eijun replied, glaring.

"Ok, ok, don't yell at me. Got a minute? I wanted to talk to you." _What happened with Chris-senpai? Was he able to help you?_

"Sure, we have time before practice, what do you need?" Eijun eyed him warily as he walked to the side of the path and sat down in the grass. Kazuya joined him.

"I'm just checking up on you, Eijun, we haven't had a chance to talk for a few days." _Your eyes look lighter, I'm glad._

Eijun laughed lightly, and rubbed his forehead. "I'm fine, Kazuya, really. Something happened yesterday that I wanted to talk to you about, so I'm glad you stopped me. I saw Chris-senpai last night. While I was practicing, he came by the indoor field and talked to me. He also let me pitch to him, and said he wanted me to learn the low and away pitch. It's pretty much the opposite of what I've been doing, so it'll be a challenge. I'll do it, though, I know I can. That way, I can be of use for the team even if I'm unable to pitch the inside ball." _Please don't worry about me; you have so much on your shoulders already._ "How are you doing, Kazuya? I know coach's not terribly happy with the team right now."

"I'm good, you know me! It's true that coach hasn't been impressed by our performance, and the third years are giving me hell about it, but nothing I can't handle, Eijun." Kazuya smirked. "But thank you for asking, and if I ever need someone to talk to you'll be the first one I'll go to." Kazuya leaned over and let his shoulder bump Eijun's. _I really will, I'm not good at talking about my problems to people, but you're worth the effort._

"We should probably get to practice; we don't want to be late…again." Kazuya laughed as he stood up. _It makes me happy to see you doing so much better. I only wish it was me that was able to help. I wonder if this is what jealousy feels like…_

"Dammit, I still haven't forgiven you for that trick, you manipulative bastard!" Eijun glared at the catcher. _Thank you for checking up on me. You've done so much for me already, you have no idea how much I'm depending on you._

Kazuya laughed again, slinging his arm around Eijun's shoulders as they walked to practice. Today they were on time.

 _From: Me(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: BastardKazuya(miyukik )_

 _Kazuya-_

 _I know you think I'm an idiot but I do eventually figure stuff out._

 _Thank you for sending Chris-senpai to help me, I really appreciate the way you're always looking out for me. You've been the biggest help—even when you're your usual snarky-smartass self._

 _I can't wait to be able to help the team again; I hate feeling like I'm weak and unnecessary._

 _Something you don't know about me:_

 _I love old black and white period movies and dramas. I used to watch them with my grandpa on Saturday afternoons. I love the drama and majesty of those times. Grandpa and I used to pretend that we were Samurai and try to talk like they did. It was fun._

 _I'm still worried about you. Please take care of yourself, don't let your duties overwhelm you. I'm here if you need me._

 _Sometimes I realize that you're back in my life, and I can't help but smile._

 _Thank you._

 _-Eijun_

The second game of the Fall Tournament went without much of a hitch. Again, the batting was not what was expected, and as usual Furuya pitched without pacing himself, earning a lecture from Miyuki. Afterward, Eijun asked Kanemaru to help him practice and he agreed. While Eijun pitched to Kariba, Kanemaru stood impatiently, waiting for Eijun to either hit him with a ball or pitch something he could hit. Eijun did neither—he'd been working on his low and away and it was still very much a work in progress. Unbeknownst to the trio practicing, they were being observed by another trio: Kazuya, Chris, and Coach Kataoka.

"Thank you for coming out and helping him, Chris-senpai." Kazuya said, "I'm sorry I had to ask you to come." _You have no idea how sorry I am. I'm beyond irritated that I couldn't fix him myself._

"It wasn't a problem." Chris replied, "This was something I'd wanted to tell him about for a while, and was glad for the opportunity." _I can see you are way more invested in Sawamura then you're willing to admit, Miyuki. You're not the only one with eyes in your head._

Coach Kataoka interjected, "It's up to him now to get himself back on track. We just have to step back and support him as best we can." The other two nodded in agreement and walked away.

During the third game, Furuya gave away three runs in the first inning, before being replaced by Nori, who pitched a good game. They managed to win but the score was 6-4, a lot closer than it should have been. After the game, the coach was furious. He sent the team out to run, and forbid them from using balls in practice. They ran for much of the evening, wearing themselves out.

After running, Furuya and Kazuya were walking back to the dorms when Coach Ochiai stopped them. Kazuya wasn't really surprised to find that Ochiai didn't agree with Coach Kataoka's move of switching Furuya out so soon—he'd had questions about the motivations of the new coach for a while. Ochiai also indicated that he would never switch out the ace and that they needed to be patient with the situation for just a little while longer. Kazuya walked away, wondering.

The next day at practice, Coach Kataoka didn't let up. He made them run drills and laps, exhausting everyone except Eijun. Kazuya stewed all practice about the conversation he'd had the evening before, trying to figure out what was going on.

Later that evening, Eijun sought out Kazuya. He dragged him out of his room and away from the ongoing Mario Kart marathon, heading down to the vending machines.

"It's my turn to buy." Eijun said, handing Kazuya a can of coffee. Popping the top of his drink, Eijun walked over to the bench and sat down, Kazuya close behind.

They sipped at their drinks for a bit, just enjoying the cool night air—late September was still warm, but the nights cooled down nicely.

"I assume you dragged me out here for a reason, Sawamura." Kazuya said, curious. _Is everything alright, what's wrong?_

"I did. I want to know what's gotten you so distracted, Kazuya. You were out of it all practice. Are you alright?" _My turn to help you. Don't try to downplay it, I won't allow it._

Kazuya sighed and ran his hand over his face. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I've just been puzzling over something I heard yesterday, trying to figure out what it means." Eijun glanced over at his friend and leaned into him for a second. "What's going on? Maybe together we could figure it out."

"Oi, don't get ahead of yourself, Eijun. Just because you got a good grade on one test in literature doesn't make you a genius, you know."

"Jerk! I may not be a genius but I may be able to help. Don't try to brush me off either, Kazuya, it won't work. I'm stubborn."

Thinking about the multitude of emails in his Eijun folder, Kazuya couldn't do anything but agree. _You_ are _a pigheaded little shit...but I'm afraid the only thing you're going to get out of this is that Ochiai wants Furuya to be the ace._ Kazuya told Eijun about the discussion he'd had with Ochiai.

Eijun listened intently, letting Kazuya talk until he was finished relaying the conversation. _Wait...he thinks Furuya's the only ace? I'll show him...No wait, that's not the important part of this conversation. Besides, Furuya_ is _the ace right now._

"What do you think he meant by being patient?" Eijun inquired, "Is the General leaving?"

"I don't know, that's what's been concerning me. We haven't been told anything—but that guy is not alum as most of our assistants are. I'm not sure what that means." _Wow, again with the surprises, Eijun. I'm impressed._ Kazuya shrugged. "I guess we just have to let the adults do the adult stuff, Eijun, and we take care of our game. Kataoka is still our coach, so nothing's going to change there. At least for now." _Talking about that helped. I didn't expect that—just having someone to bounce ideas against is nice. But Eijun, be careful. I don't think Ochiai has your best interests at heart. I'll be watching your back._

"How are you, how's the new pitch coming along?" Kazuya changed the subject.

"Oh, you know me, still working on it. It's going to take some time, but I'm getting close." _I'm going to stop being a burden on you soon. I'm going to figure this out Kazuya, I promise._

"Thank you for the coffee, Eijun. And the talk. I'm beat; I've got to go chase those idiots out of my room so I can sleep. I swear, if that roommate of yours is on my bed he's dead." Kazuya yawned and stood up, throwing away his empty can.

Eijun did the same. "Anytime, Kazuya. It's my pleasure." He reached out and rested his hand on Kazuya's shoulder.

"Good luck with the Mario Kart squad." _I hope I've helped you, I want to help you._

Kazuya smirked, "Thanks! If they give me any trouble, I'll just double their running tomorrow. Maybe I'll make them use a tire." _Wait for it..._

"Stay away from my tire, Miyuki Kazuya! We're in a committed relationship!" Eijun screeched.

"Ok, ok. No tire. Happy?" _It's nice to know that he is sometimes still so very predictable._ Eijun just glared.

"Good night, Sawamura, don't stay up too late!" Kazuya waved as he strolled off in the direction of his dorm room.

"Sometimes you can be such an asshole!" Eijun muttered.

He heard Kazuya reply. "Thank you!" _Really, thank you. You've helped a lot._

"That was not a compliment, Bakayuki!" _Take care of yourself, please; the team is depending on you._

 _From: Me(miyukik )_

 _To: Ei-chan(catch4me .jp)_

 _Eijun-_

 _Thank you for hauling me out of Mario Kart hell tonight. Talking to you really helped me sort things out. I'm still unsure what Ochiai's motivations are, but I guess we'll find out eventually._

 _I'm glad that your pitch is coming along; we're going to need you in a few weeks. The Fall Tournament is going to be rough, and would be nearly impossible without you._

 _I'm so tired, coach is killing us. Well, except for you, Mr. MyTireisMyLife. I guess all that running you do is good for something after all._

 _Something you don't know about me:_

 _I've never visited my mother's grave. My father goes every year for Obon, but I have never been. I've never wanted to go. I didn't want to return to Nagano, to see you, and then have to leave again. I thought it better to forget that part of my life, to move on._

 _I was an idiot._

 _Hope you get some rest, I don't think coach is going to make tomorrow any easier._

 _-Kazuya_


	10. The Boys are Back in Town

The next afternoon, Kazuya was surprised to see the third years in the dugout when he arrived on the practice field. "Oi, you lazy bums, get going!" shouted Jun. "We're here to kick your asses into shape!"

"All you lot, sit seiza, we have something to say." The underclassmen all sat down in the proper position, vaguely terrified.

"You guys have been slacking off!" Jun roared.

"Your playing in the preliminaries was abysmal! We've come to bully you!" said Ryousuke, with a smirk. Everyone got a slight look of panic on their faces at that, Haruichi's elder brother was _scar_ y.

"Starting today, you idiots are going to be doing 1000 sets of one to one fielding! Prepare yourselves!" Jun continued.

Everyone ran. Everyone fielded. Everyone batted. Everyone worked as hard as they could, the return of the third years making them all much more motivated. Jun and Ryousuke were frightening enough individually, but together they were truly the stuff of nightmares.

The third years showed up for the rest of the week, drilling and working with their kohai, evaluating and giving advice where they could, kicking ass where it was needed.

On Saturday, the team arrived to find the seniors all dressed in competition uniforms, ready to play the Senior Game. It was a bit of a surprise to Kazuya that they were playing so early, usually it happened after the season was over, and he wondered what the motivation was for them to play it so early. Coach Kataoka called Kazuya aside and told him that since he was going to be umpiring this game himself, Kazuya was going to be the coach for the underclassmen and Chris was coaching the senpai. The two teams played hard, neither one of them wanting to give an inch, but the elders quickly scored 2 runs. At the next at bat, Kazuya was able to get on first base where he spoke to Yuuki. Questioning his own ability to lead the team as captain, he asked for advice. "Even when things are at their hardest, never show it on your face. If the captain wavers, the team falls." Kazuya tucked that one away for further consideration and returned his mind to the game.

From the dugout, Eijun was berating Kuramochi for not cheering, "We're behind and you need to yell—how else will we get our spirits up?" He looked at his roommate and realized that there was something very wrong, and turned towards him. "What's the matter, Kuramochi-senpai?"

Kuramochi frowned briefly, and spoke to the team currently in the dugout. "When Jun was on base, he told me something. Apparently, Coach didn't ask for this game, the senpai did. They somehow found out that Coach Kataoka is leaving after the Fall Tournament." Everyone gaped at the shortstop in disbelief. _Kazuya, this is bad, worse than we expected._ Eijun thought.

Shortly after the team got the news, there was a double play that retired the side. Kazuya trotted off the field to gather up the defense, when Kuramochi asked him, "Did you know?"

"Know what?" Kazuya asked, a vague idea of what he was talking about floating in his head. Kuramochi told him the whole story. "You don't look surprised, you must have known!" he accused.

"I didn't know for sure, although I'm not terribly surprised. I wondered why a non-alum was coaching for us." _This is sooner than I thought. I don't want Ochiai as the coach; I don't want to lose Kataoka. Eijun, we can't afford to lose Kataoka. Ochiai would be terrible for you._

From the field, the coach was yelling for the team to get moving. "We can't do anything now but play. The senpai went through all the trouble to come out here and help us; we have to repay them with a good game." Kazuya trotted out to the field. "Furuya! No more pacing yourself! These guys are hard to beat, so we have to fight with everything we have!"

The next couple of innings went by with no movement in the score, but the underclassmen were playing even harder than they had been. At the bottom of the fourth inning, the batting lineup was cycling through the second time and it was Kuramochi's turn at bat. Kazuya told Nori and Eijun to be ready to pitch at any time.

When Kuramochi questioned sticking Eijun in, Kazuya told the team. "I want him to experience this game with the senpai. After the summer break, we've felt like nothing's gone our way, we've been feeling a little lost. Finding out about the coach could be the motivation we need. That being said, we will win the Fall Tournament and go to Spring Koshien. If we get a ticket to Spring Koshien, the coach won't be able to abandon us before then, will he? This is the only way I can think of to keep him around. I know it's a lot of pressure, but we can do it." _I hope we can do it. We_ need _to do it, Eijun._

Everyone gasped, surprised that their sarcastic captain was so serious about something. Eijun murmured under his breath, "Kazu…" before realizing what he said. He glanced around worriedly—nobody heard him. Kazuya didn't react, so he definitely didn't hear. _What are you doing? You're putting even more pressure on yourself, you idiot. But, I can't think of any other way to keep the coach._

However, there were two people who did hear. Maybe the two worst possible people—Kuramochi and Haruichi. Both of them were surprised and confused _when did they start using first names?_ They exchanged glances, realizing that the other had heard it as well.

In the sixth inning, the score was tied at two all, and Nori went in to pitch. The upperclassmen got another run; 3-2. It remained that way until the top of the ninth inning, when Zono hit a homerun. Tied game, bottom of the ninth, and Kazuya calls in Eijun to pitch. "I'm not going to call any inside balls; we'll focus on the outside. I just have one question. The way you are now, can you be of use to the team?" _Confidence, Eijun, you've got this. I know you can do it._

"Yes!" Eijun responded.

"Ok, let's go!"

 _Thank you, Kazuya, for having faith in me. I won't let you down._ Eijun walked to the mound. _It's not that I've ever been great, and I've always been limited. But, I'll just do whatever I need to do, that's all I can do._

From the third year's dugout there rang out a shout—'Coach, player substitution!"

Looking over at the dugout, Eijun saw Chris-senpai coming out wearing batting gear. _Chris-senpai! I get to pitch to Chris-senpai! He's done so much for me, taught me so much._

Kazuya watched Chris trot out to the plate. He smirked at his senpai, and asked, "Are you ready for this?" _Eijun, I know you want to repay him. The best way to do so is to pitch your best possible pitch._

Eijun pitched to the best of his ability. _Chris-senpai, I hope you understand what I'm trying to tell you. Thank you._

Chris stood and watched Eijun's third pitch, the one that was almost perfectly thrown to the outside. "I couldn't swing...I just watched it go by." _You're doing so well, Eijun, I'm proud of you._

The underclassmen got through the inning allowing no hits, ending the game with a tie. As they lined up to bow, the coach interjected, "The game's not over—not every third year has played. Let's keep going until we break the tie." Both sides cheered, happy to continue playing. The third years switched out everybody—Chris ended up catching, and Jun was pitching. Eijun was excited to continue to pitch, to get the feeling of the correct pitch ingrained in his brain. After five more innings the senpai finally scored, ending the game at 4-3.

Post-game, the senpai had only one piece of advice. "Don't do what we did. Don't lose."

After dinner, most of the first string went to Kazuya's room for the usual evening activity, which mainly consisted of the ongoing Mario Kart showdown. As the game ramped up, Eijun rose and quietly left the room. He wandered down to the indoor practice field and started pitching balls mechanically at the net, just trying to process all the things that had happened today. _We lost the senpai, now we're going to lose the coach? This is a powerhouse school; I guess that's not that unusual...but, Kazuya, Spring Koshien? Have you lost your mind? That's going to be so hard to do, especially without the upperclassmen. I got to play, though, and that was amazing. I was able to pitch the low and away fairly consistently, and I remember what it feels like to get it right._

"I thought I'd find you here." Eijun spun around and saw Kazuya behind him. _Well, here or running, and I'd rather you were here—this is where you come to think, not where you come to forget._ "How are you feeling after the game, Eijun? You pitched really well; your outside pitch is coming along nicely." _I know you're happy about pitching to Chris-senpai. Did you notice that he was happy with what he saw?_ "You also held the senpai scoreless for 5 innings, that's better than the others did." _I'm so proud of the way you don't give up, don't get frustrated._

"Kazuya, you're right! I did, didn't I?" Eijun looked shocked, like the thought hadn't occurred to him. "You're insane, you know? Go to Spring Koshien? Really?" _I want to make sure that you're not putting too much on yourself. I'll remove that weight from you by any means necessary, just watch me._

Kazuya rubbed his head, grimacing. "I know, I know. But we're always aiming for that anyway, right? This is an additional reason to work hard to achieve it. Everyone wants to go. We just happen to have stronger motivation than most." _I don't want you to have to deal with Ochiai by yourself when I'm not there to watch over you. He's not on your side in the slightest._

"Well that's one way to look at it, I guess." Eijun grinned, shoulders relaxed. "Are you ok? I know we talked about what could happen, but now that we know what is supposed to happen, I need to know that you're all right. This is pretty sudden." _Taking it all on yourself is not the solution._

"I think I'm ok. Really." Kazuya patted Eijun on the back, wanting to reassure the boy. "I'm still processing it, but I do think I can handle it." _Don't worry about me. I can handle it. Just worry about yourself._

"Alright. But Kazu-kun, I expect you to come to me whenever you do need help. Everybody needs help sometimes." _I'm serious. Please don't shrug this off, it's important._

Kazuya looked straight into Eijun's eyes. "I promise, Ei-chan." _I do, really. I've learned that not only am I not alone, I_ don't want _to be alone. Thank you for that._ He turned away and strolled towards the door.

'I'll bet Kuramochi wants to kick my ass in Mario Kart as revenge for springing that stuff on them. Plus, I think he probably still thinks I knew something about it. I'm heading back. Don't stay up too late." _Take care, Eijun._

"Just stay away from Rainbow Road and you'll be fine! I have faith in you—Miyuki Fight-O!" _Sweet dreams, Kazuya. Sleep well._

 _From: Me(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: BastardKazuya(miyukik )_

 _Kazuya-_

 _Playing with the Senpai was cool._

 _Pitching to Chris-senpai was amazing._

 _But the best part of the game was our battery._

 _I'm sure you probably figured this out, but you are the only reason I came to Seido._

 _I was perfectly happy to stay with my team, even if we sucked._

 _But then I found you again._

 _I think that was the best decision I've ever made._

 _Something you don't know about me:_

 _On the last day of our season in middle school (the game Rei visited) I slapped the members of the other team. And at least one umpire. They were making fun of us, making fun of my team, and I lost it. It was surprising that Rei was still interested after that scene, but she just said something to my parents about the joint flexibility in my wrists helping me pitch better._

 _Sometimes I don't think things through. I'm trying to getting better._

 _The Tournament drawing is tomorrow, right? Good Luck, captain!_

 _-Eijun_

The following morning, Kazuya got dressed in his school uniform and walked out of his room to grab breakfast before he took the train to the drawing for the Fall Tournament grouping. He turned the corner and saw Kuramochi leaning against the wall.

"Hey, Mochi, how's it going? Recovered from Mario Kart?" Kazuya smirked at the shortstop.

Kuramochi pushed away from the wall and fell into step beside the pitcher. "Just on my way to breakfast and I heard your door open. Figured we could eat together." _I saw you leave shortly after Sawamura last night. What's going on? You looked more at ease when you got back._

"Sure thing. What's going on with you? Some game yesterday, right?"

"Yeah, it was great playing with the senpai again." Kuramochi said, "But I could have done without the drama bomb. Do you really think coach will stay if we win the Fall Tournament?"

Kazuya shrugged. "I'm not sure. But I can't imagine that he'd leave before the Spring Koshien, at least."

"That makes sense. The other surprise that came out of the game was Sawamura. I had no idea that he'd figured out the outside pitch." _Let's see how he reacts to that._

"Yes, he did. Good for the team, right?" Kazuya smiled slightly, almost fondly. "Chris-senpai was able to help him learn it."

"Chris-senpai is pretty close to Sawamura, isn't he?" Kazuya's lips pursed, just slightly, almost unnoticeably. Except Kuramochi did notice. _Jealousy? Really? There might be something to this. I hope someone brought popcorn, because this is going to get good._

"Well, naturally, they've worked together a lot." Kazuya replied. _What are you looking for? Why these questions?_

"That's true. Anyway, did you see how fat Masuko's gotten?" Kuramochi changed the subject. _I've got enough to go on for now. I'll check with Haruichi later, we need to figure out where Sawamura stands in this mess._

Kazuya strode up to the platform to draw the placement number for Seido. Number seventeen. _Not that it mattered; we're going to win the Fall Tournament regardless of our placement._

In the common room, Kazuya, the coaches, and some of the players watched footage of their first opponent- Teitou.

"You suck at drawing lots, Bakayuki!" Kuramochi groans. "Did you have to pick the team that's gone to Koshien twenty-one times for our first game?"

"Sorry, sorry." muttered Kazuya, paying careful attention to the video. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ochiai leave the room. _Wonder what he's up to?_ SInce the senpai game, Kazuya'd been watching the assistant coach closely.

In the indoor practice field, Eijun practiced his pitches with Kariba. He was having a rough time aiming them, and realized that he's trying too hard; he needed to force himself to relax. Once he did that, his pitches went where he wanted them to, and were moving faster. Excited about this breakthrough, Eijun decided repetition was required to get the motion ingrained in his body. Seeing Ochiai hanging out outside the building, he asked him to come inside and help call his pitches.

Ochiai entered the practice area reluctantly.

As he walked across the area, he told Eijun, "Say, why don't you start throwing sidearm? You should become a batting practice pitcher for your team—you're not worth anything more than that, anyway."

Eijun looked at Kariba, thinking hard. _Teitou has a southpaw sidearm pitcher...it would be great if the team could practice with someone like that before the game, and I'm the only southpaw we have. This might not be a bad idea!_

Four days before the game, Eijun's on the mound to show off his new pitch. The team looked on in bewilderment when he threw a sidearm pitch that moves really slowly. Everybody laughs. Afterward, he asked, "How'd you like my sidearm pitch? It can be useful, right?" Nobody laughs. Or answers him. They all look confused. Shouts of "Yeah, right" and "Very funny" come from the team, but no one really seems amused.

"I heard our next opponent will be a southpaw sidearm. I'm the only southpaw, so I thought I could help out the team."

Coach Kataoka asked, "Did you come up with that on your own?"

Kazuya scowled. He was pretty sure he knew the answer to this question. _That shitty bastard, I'm going to KILL him. If he caused Eijun to break his form, that guy will never walk again._

"It was the Sergeant's idea; he's the one that suggested it."

Kazuya was lost for a second. _Sergeant? Well, the coach is the general, so I guess. Yup, he's dead._ He'd just taken a step towards Ochiai when he felt a hand on his arm. Looking up, he saw that it was Kuramochi who had stopped him. The shortstop nodded towards Coach Kataoka, who was glaring at Ochiai. "Let him handle it, you've got to calm down!" He whispered to the upset catcher. "Think! What will help Sawamura? Don't just act!"

Kazuya shook him off. "I am thinking. Don't you know what this means?" _Dammit, Eijun, don't give up on yourself yet!_

"Yes, I do. And so does everyone else. Look around, we're all pissed, including Coach. I think the only one clueless, as usual, is Bakamura." The shortstop hissed.

Kazuya looked at the team. There were varying degrees of upset and horrified looks on everyone's faces.

"I don't need a lousy sidearmer. Get off the mound; you're in the way of practice." Kataoka grated out.

Eijun looked around, bewildered.

"Sawamura, weren't you working on your low and away?" Kataoka asked. "Why did you stop practicing that? I appreciate your wanting to help the team, but if you break your form with halfhearted pitching you won't have anything left." He turned toward the dugout. "Miyuki! Get the pitchers ready, we're having a game simulation. Batters, practice sign exchange with runners on base. Shake up the pitchers."

"Coach", Kazuya asked, "Do you want Sawamura to pitch too?"

"Yes, and tell him to pitch with his regular form. He's a valuable player, and if he breaks his form, it'll ruin our chances of winning." The coach glared at Ochiai. Again. And he wasn't the only one.

The practice began with Furuya pitching. After he played for a while it was Eijun's turn. When he got on the mound, he still had Coach's question in his mind. ' _Why did your stop?' Why did I stop? I stopped because I doubted myself. I'm an idiot, really, there's only one thing I can do, and that's throw my pitch to the best of my ability._

Eijun came out of the dining hall after dinner, headed for his room. As soon as he stepped outside, someone grabbed his wrist and started to drag him away. Startled, he saw that Kazuya was the one with a death grip on his arm. "Oi, Miyuki!" Eijun objected. Kazuya didn't respond, just kept pulling him somewhere away from the dorms. Eijun struggled a bit, trying not to hurt his friend but also wondering what was going on. Finally, they got to the practice field, and the catcher let go.

Rounding on his confused friend, Kazuya snarled, "What the fuck, Eijun, what the everliving _FUCK_ did you think you were doing? Do you know how _BADLY_ that could have ended? Do you have _ANY FUCKING_ idea? Why can't you see that you're _NOT BROKEN_? You're fine the way you are, and you're getting better every day! What do I have to do to convince you? What does the team have to do? We _ALL_ believe in you!" He turned away from Eijun, dashing the tears from his eyes. Eijun froze, staring at Kazuya, shocked.

"Kazuya!" Eijun walked over to his friend and leaned his head on his back. "I'm sorry. I just thought I could help out; I just wanted to not feel useless for once. I didn't think a coach would steer someone that wrong." He rubbed his back gently. _I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry, I didn't_ want _to make you worry._

"I understand that, I do." Kazuya replied, turning around. "But Eijun, you've got to understand, too. Understand that you're neither a burden nor broken. You're not a worry; you're someone I care about. _You're not useless_. Didn't hear Coach today? He said that if you break your form, our chances of winning would be a lot less. He believes in you, in your value to the team. You have a lot of people who care about you—beginning with me. You didn't see everyone's face earlier, they were _all_ so pissed off. Not at you but at that Ochiai guy. He wants Furuya to be the ace, and that's _all_ he's worried about. He doesn't care about _anything_ that doesn't help him achieve that goal; that includes you. Nothing he says has any value whatsoever and if he ever gives you any trouble I want you to tell me. You're _important_ , Eijun, just as you are. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise." Kazuya stopped to catch his breath. _Fuck, Eijun, do you see? Do you understand yet?_

Eijun looked at Kazuya, tears running down his face, and just beamed. Kazuya caught his breath, entranced. Moving over to his friend, Eijun hugged him. Kazuya stiffened for a second, and then brought his own arms up, embracing his friend back. The catcher couldn't remember the last time someone hugged him. Not the backslapping hugs everyone exchanges after a good game, but a real, Kazuya-only, Kazuya-focused hug. _Damn, here come those tears again. Only you, Eijun, only you._

"Thank you." Eijun whispered in his ear, "Thank you, Kazu-kun. I don't know what I would do without you." _I don't know how to tell you how important you are to me._

Eijun pulled away slowly, watching his friend closely. He rubbed Kazuya's arm. "Feel better now that you've bitched out your idiot pitcher?" Eijun smiled.

"That wasn't just bitching, idiot, I was _furious_." He smiled back. "Yes, thank you, I do feel better. I cannot believe how upset that made me. I still want to do something to that guy. Maybe we can Nair his stupid goatee while he sleeps?" Eijun snorted.

"I've got a question, Kazuya. You said that everyone was mad. Why didn't anyone talk to me before this about it?"

"Probably because I threatened them with some unknown horror if they spoke to you before I could." He replied, smirking. _I_ needed _to make sure you were ok, that you understood what I needed to say._

"You really are an evil shit, aren't you?" _Thank you for looking out for me._

"Why, thank you, Ei-chan." _Yes, again, thank you for caring about me._

That wasn't a...oh, never mind" _Asshole. I'm glad you're feeling better._

They walked back to the dorm side by side, exchanging small talk and just enjoying each other's company.

Arriving back at the dorms, they split up—Eijun to his room, Kazuya to the vending machines for a drink. When he got there Kuramochi was leaning on the wall, clearly waiting for something.

"Oh, there you are, Miyuki," He greeted the catcher.

"Hey, Mochi, how's it going?" _Please not tonight not tonight not tonight. I don't want to have to deal with this tonight._

"We need to talk." The shortstop stood away from the wall and headed towards Kazuya's dorm room. "Grab me a tea, wouldja?" He threw over his shoulder as he walked away.

Kazuya sighed, and did as he asked. He knew this talk was coming and he was _not_ looking forward to it.

Once inside the dorm room, Kazuya sat on the bed. Kuramochi straddled the desk chair and rested his chin on the back. "So, spill." The shortstop demanded.

"I don't know what you want to know." Kazuya evaded, resigned to his fate but refusing to just surrender. "You know what I'm talking about, bastard!" Kuramochi glared. "What's going on with you and Sawamura?"

"Oh, that. It's a long story, and it's late. Why don't we…"

"No, Miyuki!" The shortstop glowered at the catcher. "We're going to do this now."

"Ok, ok." Kazuya sighed. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything. I've seen some things that need explaining, so explain. He's my roommate and kohai, and I won't see him more beat up than he already is. It's clear to me after today that you really do care about him."

Kazuya screamed internally for a second and took a deep breath. Of all his batchmates, he was closest to Kuramochi, and he did trust him as much as he trusted almost anyone.

"Ok, I'll tell you this, but if a word of it gets out, I will make your life hell. And you _know_ I can." Kazuya glared at his friend, demanding an answer. "Of course, of course. Unless I think something bad is happening to Sawamura. Then I reserve the right to tell the coach." The catcher nodded.

"That's fair." Kazuya agreed. "Ok, so here goes. Literally no one on the team other than Sawamura and I know this, so if it gets around...anyway. What no one knows about me is that I didn't grow up in Tokyo. Until I was twelve, I lived in Nagano. My best friend, for as long as I can remember, was Sawamura Eijun. We were Ei-chan and Kazu-kun, back then." Kuramochi listened intently. _Well...I didn't expect this. This changes things somewhat._

"We did everything together. Well, for us, _everything_ was baseball. He's only six months younger than me and that put him a grade behind. In primary school we joined the baseball club, and that's how we learned to play.

"When I was twelve, my mother, who had been sick for a long time, died. My father didn't handle it well. He threw himself into work. Hating the house she lived in and the town that reminded him of her, he transplanted the business to Tokyo. He didn't tell me in advance, so I just got to say a quick goodbye to Eijun before we left.

"In Tokyo, things were...difficult for me, and I stopped responding to Eijun's emails. Eventually, he stopped writing, except for holidays and such. I thought it was best that I just forget him, forget everything that happened, I was not the same kid he'd grown up with. That was fine until Rei recruited him, and we were suddenly on the same team again. He'd always been my best friend, and I realized I'd made a mistake by not keeping up with him. I thought, though, that he was better off if I kept the status quo, didn't rekindle the friendship. I know I'm not the nicest person in the world." Kuramochi snorted, agreeing. Kazuya smirked and smacked him on the arm.

"Asshole. Anyway. A couple of things happened. One, he started emailing me again. I hadn't responded to him in years and I didn't quite know what to do. To be honest, I did respond to him, every time. I just never sent any of them—they're all sitting in my drafts folder. He was emailing me daily; I think it was almost like writing in a diary for him, someplace to dump his thoughts. I was ok with that, because I missed having him as my best friend, but still thought he was better off without me. Then the Inashiro game happened. And the email he sent, Mochi, it broke me. He sounded so lost. So, using the email address the school gave us, I wrote him. We started emailing each other after that, but that was all we did, kept it strictly in email. The Yakushi scrimmage happened, and I know you remember how he was after that. I chased him down, and we started talking—we still talk." Kazuya finished.

"That explains a lot." Kuramochi commented after thinking for a minute. "What about that display you put on today? You looked like you were going to _pummel_ Ochiai."

"Mochi, he almost broke Eijun by playing on his loyalty to the team and his own insecurities. He's my best friend, and he shines so brightly sometimes, I can't stand to see anyone try to put that light out. I've known for a while that he didn't have Eijun's best interests at heart, all he really wants is to make Furuya the ace and use everyone else to do so. If coach leaves, I don't know what's going to happen to Eijun in his third year."

"I see. Well, I'll help you keep an eye on him; I care about him as well. He's an idiot, but he's our idiot, right?" _I do see, Miyuki, but do you? Can you hear yourself? He's more than a best friend to you. Do you realize that you're in love with him? I don't think you do. But you're not stupid, you'll figure it out. Let's just see how long it takes you to get there._

"Thank you." Kazuya smiled at his friend. "Also, he doesn't know that I read the emails he sent. I've got to figure out a way to tell him, so please don't let him know." The shortstop nodded. "Any other questions?"

"Just one—did you kick his ass for scaring us all earlier? Because I've got some new moves I've been saving for just such an occasion." Kuramochi cracked his knuckles, threateningly. Kazuya snorted. "I gave him an earful; I figured I'd leave the bodily harm to you." He answered.

"Awesome! Well, I'm off; I've got places to go, people to take down. Thanks for the information; I'm not going to tell anyone. You might warn Sawamura that Haruichi's probably going to be asking him the same kinds of questions; he's an observant little thing. I think he has the potential to become even scarier than his older brother." They looked at each other and shivered. Now that was a frightening thought.

"I'll tell him. Goodnight, Mochi, don't abuse the pitcher too much, we're going to need him."

"He can handle it! It's good for him." The shortstop insisted. Kazuya grinned.

When he got back to his room, Kuramochi dragged Eijun off his bed and wrestled him into submission, and then he rubbed his head and let him pick the movie they watched. _Sawamura, you're something else. Getting that manipulative bastard to fall for you? That's quite a feat. I hope things work out for you two, I think you're great together both on and off the field._

 _From: Me(miyukik )_

 _To: Ei-chan(catch4me .jp)_

 _Eijun-_

 _Please don't ever scare me like that again. Promise me you won't._

 _I still want to do bodily harm to that guy, seriously._

 _You've got to get better at taking care of yourself; I may not always be around._

 _I had an interesting visitor this evening. Apparently Kuramochi had some question, so I told him about us, about Nagano._

 _I'm not ashamed of our friendship, far from it. I just want to keep it out of the gossip mill, make sure there are no accusations of bias because of it._

 _Simply put, you are my best friend, and I'd do anything for you. But I won't go easy on you, won't let you slide. I'm rooting for you, but I refuse to not be objective when it comes to baseball, and I know that you'd hate me if I wasn't, that you'd never ask that of me. Conversely, you should know that if I tell you something, good or bad, about your performance, it's the truth as I see it._

 _Kuramochi said that you may get some questions from Haruichi, so heads up. Tell him as much or as little as you'd like, I'm good with it._

 _Something you don't know about me:_

 _I still have my old mitt from when we were young. I don't know why I kept it, but I could never bring myself to throw it out, even after I got rid of everything that reminded me of Nagano. It's worn, but I've even kept it oiled, it's still usable. I brought it with me here; it's in my closet in a box. I guess I never wanted to sever that one last connection I had to you, I don't know._

 _Teitou in four days, this is going to be rough. We have to win, though, we don't have a choice._

 _-Kazuya_


	11. Interview with a Kominato

Teitou is a beast. They've been to Koshien twenty-one times and won twice. Their pitcher, Mukai, is a southpaw sidearmer with pinpoint precision. They're known as 'The Invincible Legion'. These are all causes of concern for the team, and reasons not to slack off in their training.

The afternoon before the game, Coach Kataoka set the opening lineup. Furuya was starting, to no one's surprise, and despite his earlier threats to do so, the coach really didn't make any changes to the batting lineup. The forecast called for rain the next day, which could prove to be problematic. As the meeting drew to a close, the coach gave his usual pre-game speech, but this time it sounded to the players more like a farewell speech than a go-get'em one. Exchanging glances, they all refuse to accept the idea of him leaving, and confirm with each other that they're not letting the coach go so easily. _We've got to win. There's no other choice._

October second. As predicted, it's raining when Seido takes the field. Lining up for the pre-game ceremonies, Eijun is amazed at the number of spectators in the stadium, even in the rain. He whispers such to Haruichi, who replied, "It's a big deal—only in the fall do you get to see East and West Tokyo teams battling it out in the early rounds. Plus, Teitou is one of the favorites to win our bracket, so they have lots of fans."

Kazuya looked around, trying to get a read on the conditions. _Wet, wet and wet. Muddy. Ugh, I'm not sure how well Furuya will handle this. At least it's not hot, so we don't have to worry about him melting into a puddle today. But ball handling could get tricky._

As gameplay began, Kazuya watched Furuya carefully, but he seemed to be pitching well and not giving anything away. _This is going to be a strange game...I wonder if it's the players or the rain that will have more say in the results?_ The rain was making things a bit complicated, but it was affecting both teams equally. Neither team was able to do much more than occasionally get on base without actually capitalizing on any of the hits they are able to get.

Eijun drafted Ono to catch for him, unable to just sit and watch his rival pitch. He was entirely concentrated on refining his outside pitch. _I've got to get this down. The team may need me at some time; I don't want to let them down either._ Completely unfazed by the rain, he was just happy to be throwing the ball.

Kazuya was focused on keeping Furuya pitching to the best of his ability and not worrying about anyone on base, and that seemed to be an effective plan. As the rain continued, the conditions deteriorated. No one was very effective on the field, with runners making bases yet going nowhere by the end of the inning. It was clearly a pitcher's game; whichever one made the first mistake loses.

In the top of the fifth inning, Kazuya noticed that Furuya's pitches are getting higher, becoming easier hits. Calling a timeout, he splashed through the puddles to the mound to speak with the pitcher. "Your pitches are higher than before, is the rain giving you problems?"

"Yes, I feel like the ball might slip if I pitch too hard, the rosin's as soaked as everything else out here." He replied, wiping his forehead.

Kazuya grinned at him. "It's ok if they hit the ground in front of the plate, I won't miss them. So pitch low—let them rip! You've got this, alright?" Furuya nodded. _That's what I thought; the rain's messing with his grip. Not a surprise. I wonder if we should add more rainy day outside training._ Jogging back to the catcher's box, he squatted down, getting ready for the next pitch. _Ok, bring it. Let's get this guy out._ And they did.

The game was called temporarily for rain in the middle of the fifth inning. In the dugout, Kazuya reminded Furuya to keep his shoulder warmed up, while out in the bullpen Eijun was still practicing in the pouring rain. He gets called out for still going at it, accused of showboating, but he's not really doing it for attention. _If I don't move, I won't calm down. That bastard is at the top again, I want to play too._

Kazuya is focused on Furuya; trying to make sure he has dry clothes and is good to go whenever the game is resumed. _I don't like that they called it at that point, I think that was a bad time for us to get off the field._ He glanced over at the bullpen and rolled his eyes. _Seriously? In this rain? Eijun, you idiot. What are you even doing? Just don't get sick, ok?_

Surprisingly enough, it looks like most of the audience don't leave during the break—probably because they, at least, have shelter. After a lengthy pause, the game is finally resumed with Seido on offense.

The lineup starts with Kazuya, who gets himself to second base, much to the astonishment of those who know his 'needs someone on base to hit' idiosyncrasy. He sighs at the catcalls, resigned to having this stigma follow him for a while. _It's not true, well…I'm getting better!_

Next, it's Furuya's turn at bat. He seemed to be somewhere off in his own world, and doesn't pay any attention to the coach's signing. Missing the signal to bunt, he hit a pop fly—out. Back on the bench, he gets chewed out by Coach Kataoka for trying to do it himself; he wanted to hit a run to bring Kazuya in. The following batters quickly follow suit, leaving Kazuya stranded on third. The sixth inning began.

From the first pitch, Furuya threw badly—he clearly didn't keep himself warmed up during the break and lost his concentration. He walked the first man up, and allowed the second to hit a double. Meanwhile, in the dugout, the coach called for Nori to warm up.

In the bullpen, Eijun was spouting more of his random motivational nonsense. "I won't lose to the rain! I won't lose to the wind! I won't lose to the storm! I won't lose to Teitou! I won't lose to Furuya!" _I won't lose to myself. I won't lose to my own weaknesses._

Ono interrupted, "Sorry Sawamura, Nori's the priority right now."

"I lost!" He wailed, returning to watching the game from the bullpen.

On the field, Furuya continued to unravel. No outs, runners on second and third. The next batter, Sumida, hit to far left field, bringing home the runner on third base. 1-0. The other runner on base got himself tagged out on his attempt at home only because Asou was able to throw the ball back to Kazuya quickly. Sumida stayed on second base.

Kazuya tried to get Furuya's head back in the game, but his next pitch was a high ball that Kazuya was barely able to catch. As he's trying to figure out a way to recover the pitcher's concentration, Coach Kataoka called Miyuki's name.

Looking over, the catcher saw the coach calling for a time out with Eijun by his side. Substitution. "Pitcher, Number 18, Sawamura." Eijun listened intently while the coach explains to him the situation to make sure he understands what's going on. "One out, runner on second, 2-0 is the count. Also, the batter will try to hit the first ball that is in the zone." The coach explained. "You've clearly prepared yourself, are you ready to go in? The conditions are tough out there. Nevertheless, I expect to see the same pitching you did during the seniors game."

"I understand, and I'm ready for this." _I'm so ready for this. I want to help._

Kazuya was not surprised at the substitution, but he was surprised that the coach sent in Eijun. _I thought it would be Nori. I'm not sure you're ready for this, Eijun, but let's see what we can do!_

After the team dragged Furuya off the field, Eijun took the mound. _I can do this, Kazuya; I've been practicing. I trust you to lead me._

Kazuya squatted behind the plate, and got ready for Eijun's first pitch. _I'll know what condition he's in by this first throw. It's fine if it's a ball; just swing your arm all the way. He's coming after your first strike._ Eijun relaxed and threw his first pitch, low and outside.

"Strike!"

Kazuya grinned. _You're subbing in, in the rain, while we're in a pinch. And you throw me that? Eijun, I've got goose bumps. This is going to be so much fun._

Eijun returned his smile. _I know, right? This is the best!_

They continued to play, with Eijun pitching his outside pitches, and retired the side with no further scoring. On the way back to the dugout, Eijun exploded with his "Yosh! Yosh! Yosh!" as usual. Kuramochi decided that he was yelling too close to the dugout, and gave him a good kick. Not that he generally needed an excuse to kick Eijun, but it was nice to have one in case someone questioned him. _You're doing so well, I'm impressed. Keep it up, and we may be able to win this._

The game went on with neither side being able to bring in any runs, rain making everything a mess, including Eijun's attempt at a bunt; it just stopped dead in the mud. At the top of the eighth inning, the cleanup for Teitou caused them problems—he realized that Eijun wasn't throwing inside, at all. _I thought he'd be the one to figure it out. Eijun, we have to throw one inside to knock them off track. It doesn't have to be a strike, just give me one inside. I know you can do it!_ Kazuya raised his mitt to the inside, waiting for the pitch.

His eyes widened. _Inside? I'm not sure I can do that! Kazuya, what are you doing? Are you sure?_ Kazuya nodded. _Ok, I'll try. Let me just relax and do what I know to do._

Eijun wound up and pitched. The batter swung, and the ball went over the right fielder's head. Double.

 _That pitch was right down the middle. Eijun, I'm sorry, I guess you aren't ready._

Eijun turned around and shouted nonsense, trying to make everyone feel better. "Two outs! Everyone! We're in a pinch, but let's not panic! We got hit, so it can't be helped! To all of you at the back, please don't let it bother you!" _This is where I'm at, right now. Even if I panic, I still don't have those things I don't have. I can only fight with those things I do have._ He then prepared himself to pitch again.

Kazuya shook his head. _Is he an idiot, or really that strong?_ He called the next pitch.

Eijun used his outside pitch to strike out the next batter; the sides changed.

Bottom of the eighth inning. Two outs. Toujou got on base, followed by a surprising bunt by Kuramochi that puts him on second after an error. Runners on second and third. Haruichi was up next and he's walked to first—he's hit too many times today for Teitou to want to fight him. Bases loaded, one out to go. Now it was up to Zono, who'd not had a single hit in the game. His count was 2-2 when he swung and hit a ball straight down the left baseline, bringing home all the runners. He's tagged out on third, which retires the side.

The score, top of the ninth inning, is 1-3.

Nori was sent in to pitch the last inning and started off well, giving up only one run. The last out for him is difficult, though. Bases loaded. Nori's having flashbacks to the summer game; he couldn't seem to get that last, losing pitch out of his mind.

Kazuya walked out to the mound, trying to think of a way to get him to calm down. _He's in his head too much; he needs to just relax. How do I._ "Nori, look behind you." The boy glanced over his shoulder. "No, look up." Nobody had noticed that the rain had stopped, that the sky was clearing. "See? We were so busy getting flustered, that we failed to notice the beauty around us." Nori's expression cleared. "Let's do this! You've got this, Nori!" Nori nodded, head back in the present. He struck out the last batter, game set.

Seido won, 2-3.

On the bus home, Eijun sat next to Haruichi, as usual. They chattered a bit about the game (Eijun chatters, Haruichi listens). When they're nearly back at the school, Haruichi asked, "Hey, Eijun? Can I talk to you about something in private for a bit this evening?"

"Sure, Haruichi. Is something wrong?" _You were right, Kazuya, as usual._

"No! I just wanted to ask you about something."

"Sounds good, let's drop off our stuff first. You want to come by my room?"

"Sure thing, Eijun, thanks!" _Time to figure things out. What exactly is with you two?_

After Eijun got off the bus, Kazuya walked up to him and slung an arm around his neck. "Hey, Sawamura, how's it going?" Eijun glared at him suspiciously. "Fine. Miyuki Kazuya, what do you want?"

"Aw, don't be like that. Can't I check up on my favorite idiot?"

"I don't trust you when you're nice to me."

Kuramochi laughed. "Wow, Sawamura, I think that's one of the smartest things you've ever said. He's on to you, Miyuki."

"Probably." Kazuya agreed. "Where are you off to?" _I want to talk to you about the game. I'm so proud of you, proud of us._

"I'm going to meet up with Haruichi; he wanted to talk to me." Eijun told him. _I want to talk to you, I'm so happy about the game. It was awesome. But after I talk to Haruichi, ok?_

Kazuya stopped for a second. "Oh, ok...Ohhhhh" _Kuramochi wasn't wrong. Glad I gave the heads up._ They kept walking, headed for the dorms.

Eijun unpacked his bag and waited for Haruichi to come by. While he waited, he texted Wakana, telling her about the game and his pitching. As he sent the email off, Haruichi arrived with cold drinks. "Hi, Haruichi, come on in. Kuramochi-senpai isn't in right now; we can talk here if you want."

"This is fine." his friend replied, handing a drink to Eijun.

"So anyway," Haruichi said, "I wanted to talk to you about what's going on with you and Miyuki-senpai. Are you two ok?"

Eijun laughed. "We're good, thank you for asking. Miyuki actually warned me you might have some questions after he was cornered by Kuramochi-sempai. Let me give you the basics, and you can ask me anything you want. First though, I need you not to tell anyone any of this, is that ok? Not even, maybe not _especially_ , your brother." Eijun shivered at the thought of what Ryousuke would do with the information. Haruichi nodded, looking both vaguely offended on his brother's behalf and like he understood completely.

"There's nothing wrong or bad going on, really. Ok, here goes. My best friend growing up, and for as long as I can remember, was Miyuki Kazuya. We learned how to play baseball together, we did _everything_ together. When he was twelve, after some family issues, his father moved them to Tokyo. I never saw him again. We emailed back and forth for a while, but eventually he stopped responding. I didn't know what happened or why he'd stopped, I just knew that he did. Then, last year, Rei recruited me. I visited the campus reluctantly, and...I'm sure you know what happened when I visited." Haruichi nodded.

"Anyway, that was the first time I'd seen Kazuya in four years. He is so _different_ from what he was when he was young, you have no idea. I didn't know what had happened to him to change him like that, but I knew he was still the baseball idiot I grew up with. I'd never stopped emailing him, though, for birthdays and such. When I started here, I began doing so more often, even though he gave every indication that he had no desire to resume our friendship. I knew he wasn't reading them—he'd not replied in four years—but it turned into a journal for me, of sorts. A way to vent. It was really helpful the first few months, relieved a lot of stress. After the Inashiro game he sent me an email, but from his school account. We started emailing back and forth, reconnecting. Then the Yakushi game and the yips thing and...Haruichi, I don't know what would have happened if he hadn't found me, hadn't talked to me. I was so devastated; I had no idea what I was doing, what I was going to do. I thought my world had ended, that I was going to be kicked off the team and never play again. He saved me. He moved me forward bit by bit, and helped me keep going." Eijun dashed away a tear.

"So now, we're back to being friends. He's always been my best friend, even when we weren't friendly, if that makes sense. I think the thing he's most worried about is that people will think he's favoring me somehow if they find out about us. But he doesn't, he's never going to do that. If anything, I think he's harder on me and expects more from me. I think that's about it—do you have any questions?"

"I don't think I do." Haruichi replied. _Well, I do have one. Do you know that you're in love with him? I've never seen your eyes light up like that before._

"Really? Are you sure? I never meant to hide this from you, it's just Miyuki's Miyuki, and I've had to go at his pace. Not that I mind, I just didn't want to scare him off." _Yes, Haruichi, I know what you want to ask, it's clear as day on your face. I know how obvious I am, and yes, I do know I love him. He may not realize it yet, but he will._

"Actually, yes. I do have a question." Haruichi shifted nervously. "Do you like him? I mean _like_ like him?"

"I've loved him since I was five. I can't see that changing anytime soon." Eijun grinned. "Is that a problem for you?" _I hope not, I don't want to lose a friend over this._

"No, no problem at all. I mean, have you seen my brother and Kuramochi? It's nauseating how sweet they are with each other." _I'm happy for you. If I'm right, you've not got any worries in the unrequited feelings area._

"Now that's an image I won't ever be able to unsee. Thanks, Harucchi!" _Thank you for being a friend and looking out for me. I appreciate it._

"You're welcome; I needed someone else to share my pain." Haruichi laughed. "Should we go eat? I'm starving!"

They left the dorm and walked to the cafeteria. Grabbing dinner (plus three bowls of rice), they sat down together at the same table as Furuya, who was methodically working his way through his dinner. Conversing and eating, they consumed their food with no interruptions from rude senpai. Eijun looked around the room and saw Kazuya sitting a few tables over talking to Kuramochi and Zono. Catching Eijun's eye, Kazuya cocked an eyebrow. Eijun smiled and nodded his head; the catcher returned to the conversation after grinning back.

 _Good._

After dinner, Haruichi went off to practice batting with Zono. Eijun hoped to talk to Kazuya, so he sat down on the bench by the drink machines to wait for his friend to wander by. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he saw that Wakana had returned his text. Excitedly, he started to reply when he heard a voice. "Wakana! Is that a text from Wakana!" _Oh, crap._ Sure enough, Kuramochi and Kazuya were standing there grinning at him. "Why are you texting your girlfriend without me? Show me what she said!" _Cat, meet pigeons. Sorry Miyuki, but sometimes you're just too easy._

"Kuramochi-senpai, you know she's not my girlfriend, we've been _over_ this a billion times!"

Kazuya gave Eijun a sideways glare, "More importantly, it's nice to know you have such self confidence that you can relax while Furuya is still out running."

" _Wha?_ Damn you, Furuya, I'm not going to lose to you!" Eijun ran out towards the practice field.

Smirking, Kazuya said, "What an idiot. Want to go lift for a bit?"

"Of course, I'll be happy to show you how it's done." _Careful, Miyuki, your eyes flashed a bit green then. Jealousy is not becoming, but it is amusing to see._

Eijun was walking back to the dorms after running with Furuya. As he passed the bench he'd been sitting on, he heard his name called. Looking up, he saw Kazuya leaning against one of the vending machines.

"Greetings, Miyuki-senpai! How are you doing this fine evening?" Eijun asked, bowing from the waist.

Kazuya snorted, amused. "Don't try any of that Seven Samurai crap on me!" Eijun just laughed. Together, they walked out towards the playing field and sat on the stands, enjoying the night and the quiet.

"Some game, huh?" asked Eijun. "I was serious earlier, how are you doing, Kazuya? You played all the way through. You must be exhausted." _You look beat. I'm glad we have a week before the next game._

Kazuya smiled. "Oh, I'll be fine, Eijun. I am tired, but it's a good tired. What about you? You did an amazing job out there, I am so proud of you." _Being able to play with you makes it worth the exhaustion. It's awesome._

"I'm good! I didn't play for that long, you know. I'm glad I could help the team, glad I've gotten the outside pitch down. Sorry I couldn't throw the inside pitch, though. I know why we needed it, I just…" _Forming our battery is the best thing in the world for me right now. Just you and I against the world. Or at least our own slice of it._

"No, no, it's ok. It will come when it's ready—and I'm sorry for pushing you about that. It was just _that_ batter; he was not going to swing on the outside balls." _I hope I didn't over stress you, I really felt it was necessary at that point._

Eijun leaned into Kazuya. "It's fine, I did understand why, I just wish I'd been able to give you what you asked for." _You need to understand that I will give you anything you ask for to the best of my abilities._ "I trust you, I do." he continued, "So I know that what you ask me to do is what you think is necessary, and I'm going to always do my best to give it to you. I told you a while ago that I don't have to think because you do it for me, remember? That's still true."

"Maybe you _should_ start thinking, Eijun. Not too hard, mind you, I don't want you to hurt yourself. Just...I think that if you did start thinking about scenarios and plays, it could help us be a better battery. I don't want you arguing with me about everything, but if you understand the play calling and you really think something should be different, I'd be more than happy to listen. You're smarter than you allow yourself to believe. You may not have the best grades," Eijun glared, Kazuya snickered. "But you do have a good analytical mind, and I think you could do this. I know Chris-senpai was teaching you about pitching to certain batters, and I don't want you to feel like you have to memorize the batters that we're facing, that's my job. But thinking about which pitches might be best in certain situations, that sort of thing." _This is one step I think we need to take to become real partners, Eijun._

Eijun looked thoughtful. "Well, it can't hurt, I guess? I'll be happy to give it a try if you think it'll help. It might be fun if we worked together to get batters out!" They both grinned, evilly.

They sat in silence for a while, thoughts drifting. Eventually Eijun yawned, rubbing his eyes. "Time to get you back so you can go to bed, captain's orders." Miyuki stood and offered his hand to Eijun. Eijun took it, standing slowly.

"Man, I'm tired." he said. "It just suddenly hit me. What a day." _What a marvelous day._

"You're right; it's been quite a day, hasn't it?" _Amazing day. You looked so_ right _on that mound, like it's yours to take whenever you want. And maybe it is, who knows what you are capable of._

Slowly they made their way back to the dorms. Neither one noticed that they held hands all the way back.

* * *

 _From: Me(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: BastardKazuya(miyukik )_

 _Kazuya-_

 _Thank you for playing with me, for supporting me._

 _I know that I'd have not made it this far if you weren't around._

 _I don't know what would have happened to me if you hadn't found me after the Yakushi game. I really don't. You helped me glue myself back together, and although there are still cracks and chunks missing, I'm sure it will be alright._

 _I will get over these stupid yips._

 _I will gain more control over my pitches._

 _I'm going to start trying to think more, like you suggested. I remember what Chris-senpai was trying to teach me too, so I think I have a place to start._

 _Something you don't know about me:_

 _Wakana. I met her in the first year of Middle School, she sat next to me. She was a baseball idiot, like me, but she was actually on the team; the school was small enough that it had a coed team. We became friends, and that summer when they were in trouble because they couldn't find a pitcher, she was the one who convinced me to join. We've been friends ever since. She's like my sister; I've never had any romantic (ugh!) feelings for her, no matter what that stupid senpai says. Sometimes I do miss talking to her, though._

 _You looked beat. Please don't stay up late, Kazuya, get some sleep._

 _-Eijun_


	12. Of Use to the Team

Kazuya sat at his desk, waiting for class to begin. Staring out the window his mind drifted, touching on but never thinking too much about anything. _Baseball…Nanamori…history homework. Nanamori again, they're the next team we play, we have to not get too hung up on playing Inashiro and overlook this one, could be trouble…_ _ **bang!**_

He startled, looking up. Kuramochi stood in front of him, grinning. "You weren't paying any attention to me at all, were you? What are you thinking so hard about?"

"Nothing important, Mochi—what's going on with you?"

"Not much. Oh! Did I tell you? Last night Sawamoron was getting on my nerves and I…" Kazuya drifted off again, letting the sound of his friend's babbling wash over him. _I wonder how Eijun's doing with the whole play calling thing? And did we actually hold hands all the way back from the dorm? That's…interesting. I thought I had everything figured out. I guess not._ "...so I put him in an octopus hold and made him beg for mercy."

"That's good of you, Mochi, taking care of your kohai like that. I'm sure he appreciates it." Kazuya smirked.

"You know, I always thought I'd get more of a reaction from him about it, though. He wrestles back, but he seems kind of resigned about the whole thing, like it's totally normal."

"Has he told you about his grandfather yet? Trust me—for him, it's a normal thing that families do." Kazuya smiled, remembering the overly physical older man. "Ask him about it, you'll understand then."

"Miyuki."

Both boys looked over and saw Nabe, Kudo and Higashio standing there. "Can I have a word with you?" Kazuya grinned at them. "All the way over from the class next door, huh? What's going on?"

"Nothing, really, it's just that—" Nabe began.

"Miyuki-kun," the class representative interrupted, handing him a piece of paper. "Here's the grouping for the fieldtrip. I think they put all the baseball team together, you guys may have games that week?"

"Oh, yeah. We will have games, so we won't be going." _We don't have a choice but to have games that week._

"Ok, well, we're sorry you'll miss it; it's a great opportunity to get to know your fellow students."

"I understand, but we're not losing the tournament." _We're really_ not _._

Kuramochi handed his slip to the girl. "Here, take it back. We aren't going."

Kazuya turned to Nabe and asked, "So, what's up?"

"Sorry—on second thought, it's nothing. See you at practice!"

The three boys turned and walked out of the room.

 _What was that all about?_

Situational field practice. Eijun was pitching, and the team was practicing stealing bases from the southpaw. The following weekend they were going to have games on both Saturday and Sunday, so they were preparing to face Inashiro as well as Nanamori. Their focus was on Inashiro. Everyone wanted revenge, the third years were threatening to sneak in to pinch hit—Ryousuke offered to trade places with Haruichi. They said it jokingly, but everyone knew this was very serious. The whole team wanted payback for the Summer Tournament. Thus, stealing bases from a southpaw pitcher.

Eijun was having a blast. He was getting better at pickoffs, although he could never get Kuramochi out—his roommate was way too fast. _Is he part cheetah? He's so fast, no wonder I can't get away from his holds._ After his turn, Haruichi was up. He was trying to steal, but couldn't find an opening.

"No one's going to steal on my watch! I'll get you all out!" _Inashiro won't get us this time; I won't let them. Revenge is going to taste so sweet. Just you wait, Mei._

"That's because you haven't actually pitched a ball yet, idiot! How long are you going to just stand there?" Kazuya yelled from home plate. _I know what you're thinking, Eijun, I'm right there with you. We can do this._

That evening, the pitchers were out running. Furuya was lagging, but Eijun and Nori were running side by side.

"Aren't you tired, Nori-senpai? Maybe you should stop!"

"I'm good, you go ahead and quit." Back and forth they went, neither one wanting to give up, both of them wanting to get better, do better, play better.

Suddenly they heard the sound of footsteps pounding up behind them. "Wahhhhhh! Furuyanator has revived! Go back to sleep, Furuya!" Furuya caught up to the others. They continued to run—none of the pitchers wanted to be the first one to back down.

Kazuya was walking along the pathway between the practice fields listening to the loud conversation being held by the jogging pitchers. _Furuyanator? Really, Eijun? Where do you get these things?_ _Those three are truly magnificent idiots. They push each other to do better and pull each other along as well. Good for them._ He laughed lightly, chuckling at their idiocy.

Ahead he saw Nabe looking down the stairs, watching the field. He was holding a study guide and had a pensive look on his face. "Hey, Nabe. Planning for college already?" Kazuya asked, indicating the study guide.

"Miyuki! How are you doing?" The boy asked, startled.

"I'm good, thanks. I did want to talk to you about something, though. Do you have a minute?"

"Sure, what can I do for you?" Kazuya waved at the stairs to the field. "Sit down; let me tell you what I had in mind." _I hope I don't offend you by asking for this, I think it'd be something you can do well that would be exceedingly helpful._

Kazuya handed Nabe a score book. "I'd like you to go watch the Inashiro game and get data from it. Your analysis of the Teitou team really helped our players in the game, and I think you'd be able to gather even more information if you saw it live rather than a recording. I know that it's during our game, so it may be asking a lot of you. I won't force you if you'd rather attend. We just really need the information, and I think you could be the best one to gather it." Nabe looked vaguely bewildered, but quickly agreed to do it. _Thank you, your eye for these things is extraordinary, if the Teitou game is any indication._

"Now, what was it you wanted to talk to me about earlier?"

"Huh?" Nabe looked confused.

"In the classroom, what did you have to say?"

"Oh, it wasn't anything important."

"Well, if it was so unimportant, you can just tell me. This whole captain thing is new to me—I'm not used to leading like this. So, I need all the help I can get from you." Kazuya said.

Just then, the pitchers came off the field. "I can run some more!" Eijun declared.

"I get it! But we're quitting." Nori retorted.

Kazuya broke into their debate. "Nori! Make sure they take a proper bath. That one has a habit of trying to only take a shower!" _Idiot. You have to be exhausted, get some rest._

"I know how to bathe, Miyuki Kazuya!" _Don't be out too late; you've got to be in good shape for the game._

"You're always trying to just dip in and out, like a crow!" The captain replied. _Don't worry about me; I'll be fine._

"What's wrong with crows, anyway? They're better than birds in cages who forget how to fly." Eijun continued to sputter nonsense until the pitchers were out of sight, on the way to the baths.

"Now that we've dealt with the idiot crew, what did you want to talk about?" Kazuya returned his attention to Nabe.

"Well, sometimes it feels like we've not got the same attitude as the rest of you. We didn't come to this school on a baseball scholarship, so maybe that's why we're not as intense. We're not complaining, we just…worry that our lack of intensity doesn't belong on this team, we don't belong on the team."

"So, do you want to quit?" Kazuya asked quietly _. I'd never want to force someone to stay, but I'd hate for you to leave._

"No, that's not what I—"

"Nabe, if being on the team is problematic for you, and you'd rather devote yourself to schoolwork, I wouldn't stop you. I play because I want to, not because someone told me to. If you don't want to play, I wouldn't force you to do so."

 _That's not what I meant.._.

Later that night, Eijun was practicing pitching with the net. He'd taken Kazuya's words to heart and was trying to think tactically, using the way Chris had taught him.

"Ok, one more pitch and you should be out. Last pitch was a low and inside, let's throw outside so they'll have a hard time seeing it." _That's it for you, Mr. Power Hitter, you're out!_

"Let's corner this pitcher with two outside pitches. Then we'll throw inside to try to get him to swing. If he does, he's out. If not, we throw another outside pitch to strike him out!" _Kazuya, you were right, this is pretty fun. It makes practicing alone more interesting._

Kazuya strolled out to the vending machines to grab a drink. He'd been working on his homework for hours, since he finished talking to Nabe. _Glad to be done with that, now I don't have to worry about it this weekend—there will be other things on my mind._ Looking over, he saw the lights were still on in the training building. _Is Zono still practicing? It's late, he should be in bed._

Walking up to the door, he peeked in. The only person in the room was Eijun, practicing with the net. He could hear him muttering. "Ok, this guy is a switch hitter, batting right this time. Let's start with an inside pitch, get him to back off the plate a bit…" _Wow, he's really doing it! That's great, Eijun_.

He heard footsteps coming up behind him. Turning around, he saw Haruichi and Zono walking up to him.

Nodding in greeting, Haruichi said, "Good evening, Miyuki-senpai. He's been the last one to leave all week; he's always practicing. I'll bring him a drink in a bit and send him off to bed."

Kazuya agreed. "Thanks, Haruichi. He's going to need his sleep; this weekend could be brutal with two games scheduled." _Eijun. When I said start thinking about these things, I didn't mean you had to figure them out right away. Don't overdo it; we're going to need you._ Kazuya waved and walked away, off to his own bed.

Haruichi interrupted Eijun's practice soon afterwards. Handing him a bottle of water, he suggested, "Eijun, you should probably quit for the night. You need to sleep, and sleeping in class is not really a good idea."

Zono chimed in. "Yes, and the coach hears about these kinds of things as well, so be careful."

"You're right, I am getting tired. Just ten more balls and I'll quit." _Am I getting this? Am I getting any better? I don't know. Am I stronger than the last time I stood on the mound against Inashiro? The only way I'll know is to play. Kazuya, I'm working on this. I'll catch up to you eventually, please wait for me. I want our battery to be one of equals, just not me leaning on you._

Friday, October 8. The day before the game against Nanamori, Kazuya found himself in the coach's lounge, waiting on practice instructions for the day. Coach Kataoka was deep in discussion with the others when he walked in, so he stood quietly to one side and listened.

"You're moving Furuya to left field, really?" Oota asked.

"Yes, he'll be ready to take the mound at any time, but if I see any slacking off, he's going on the bench."

Ochiai chimed in. "A penalty for the last game, huh? That's a pretty harsh one."

"He can still act as the ace from the left field; everyone will be able to see him there." Kataoka replied.

 _The coach expects a lot from Furuya already, doesn't he?_ Kazuya thought. _Who's he having start, then? Nori? It does make sense to save Furuya until the next game, when that's going to be the potentially harder opponent. Eijun will just have to be ready to relieve whoever starts._

"Well then, "Oota asked, "Who's going to be starting?"

Just then, there was a knock on the door.

"Excuse me! Unworthy Sawamura reporting as requested! If this is about the shameful incident of me falling asleep in class, I've fully considered my misconduct and am deeply regretful of that unfortunate happenstance!" Eijun stood at attention in the doorway.

"I see…" Kazuya smirked. _So you did fall asleep. No big surprise there. But why you're here is one. I guess you're starting tomorrow. I wouldn't have predicted that—I wonder if the coach knows about your late night sessions. It's probable, not much happens that gets by him._

"It's not about that?" Eijun queried. At the same time, Oota exclaimed "Coach! You don't mean…"

Coach Kataoka just smiled.

So did Kazuya.

After practice, Coach Kataoka assembled the team to announce the batting order:

"Number 1, Shortstop, Kuramochi"; "Yes!"

"Number 2, Right Field, Shirasu" "Yes!"

"Number 3, Second Base, Kominato" "Yes!"

"Number 4, Catcher, Miyuki" "Yes!"

"Number 5, First Base, Maezono" "Yes!"

"Number 6, Left Field, Furuya" "Yes!"

"Number 7, Center, Toujou" "Yes!"

"Number 8, Third Base, Kanemaru" "Yes!"

"Number 9, Pitcher, Sawamura" "Yes!"

"Dismissed!"

At dinner, Kazuya and Kuramochi joined the first years. Eijun was unusually quiet, eating his food with a look of concentration.

"Oi, Sawamoron! Don't think too hard, you'll sprain your brain!" Kuramochi said.

"Sorry, Kuramochi-senpai! I will stop thinking right away!"

The others at the table exchanged a look—this was not normal behavior from Eijun. Watching him carefully, they continued with their dinner. When Eijun got up to take his tray to the counter, Kuramochi signaled Kazuya to go after him. "I'll take yours up for you, you just go figure out what's going on with him. Fix him before tomorrow." Kuramochi whispered.

As Eijun walked out of the cafeteria, Kazuya fell into step beside him, slinging an arm around his neck. "Where are we going?" He asked, with a smirk. _What's wrong? Why aren't you bouncing off the walls with glee? Didn't you want this?_

"I don't know where you're going, Bakayuki, but I'm going to pitch some balls at the net." Eijun replied. _I need to think, I need to get my head straight._

"I have an idea, Eijun. Why don't you toss to me?" _Talk to me. You're going to do so anyway, don't be hardheaded. It helps to talk—you showed me that._ "Plus, there's something I've been meaning to speak with you about, I'd like your input on a situation." Kazuya continued.

"Sure! We haven't played catch in forever, Kazuya. Let's go out to the practice field." _Maybe we can help each other this time._

They retrieved their mitts and a ball, and headed out to the playing field. Back and forth, they threw the ball—the repetitive motion soothingly familiar. It _had_ been a while, and Kazuya couldn't believe that neither one of them had mentioned revisiting this cornerstone of their childhood.

"Aww, Kazuya, it's been so long. I'd forgotten how much fun tossing the ball around can be." _Especially with you. This is another thing I've missed, and didn't even realize it._

"I know, right? Sometimes we're so focused on the technical stuff that we forget the reason we started playing, this right here. A good game of catch." _Why was I such an idiot? I can't believe how I've missed you. I never would have acknowledged it, if you hadn't forced yourself back in my life. I'm so glad you did._

So they continued throwing, the two best friends, letting their minds drift to the sound of the ball hitting the mitt and the slight stretch of the arm when returning the catch. Eventually, Eijun started talking.

"I'm scared, Kazuya. I've never started in a game before, not here. Plus, I saw the looks of shock when Coach announced I was starting, I'm not sure the others believe that I can do it. It worries me; I don't want to let the team down. Starting a game is different than relieving." _There—I said it, I started the conversation. Can you help me think through this?_

 _Oh Eijun, you're always so willing to admit to your feelings. I admire that. Let me see if I can give you some perspective._ "I know you don't want to hear me just tell you that I think you can do it, which I do, but you want some proof. I can't give you hard proof about you starting in Seido; it doesn't exist. Yet. I can tell you that I know there are people on the team that are not sure you can handle it, that is true. I believe they are wrong. No, I _know_ they're wrong, but that's not what you need to hear. I also know that those same people are not worried about losing the game, they're worried about _you_. About you being able to handle the pressure a starter feels. No one, and I mean _no one_ doubts your ability to throw a good pitch. Except maybe that guy, and fuck him anyway. So that's where the worry comes from. And I hope you've noticed this—those that know you well; Haruichi, Mochi, Kanemaru, Nori, Ono and Zono—none of them doubt your ability to do the job the coach has entrusted to you tomorrow. Hell, even Furuya's not thinking that you'll goof up, he's just mad that he's not pitching. So there's that. One more thing. You're not alone out there. Not only do you have the backup of the team in the field, you have me. Ei-chan, I won't let you down again, I won't let you fail. So trust me, if you can't trust yourself. Trust in us, trust in our battery." _I hope this helps, Eijun, I really do. You're going to be fine, I believe in you. Together we can do_ anything.

Sometime in the middle of the speech, Eijun had dropped his glove and the ball, and walked over to where Kazuya was standing. Eyes shimmering with moisture, he reached up and softly cupped his best friend's cheek. "Thank you, Kazu-kun. That was perfect—thank you so much." _How do you always know the exact right thing to say? I love you. You don't know it yet, but I do._

Dropping his hand, he stepped back. Kazuya hadn't reacted to his touch, but he looked a bit dazed. _What just happened? Why did it feel like that, and why did I want it not to stop? He was just thanking me…_

Unsure of himself, Eijun folded himself and sat on the ground, patting the spot beside him. "Sit, please, Kazuya. Did you use so many words earlier that you ran out? I don't think I've ever heard you say so much at once _." Please be all right, please don't be scared off. I hope I didn't fuck things up by getting ahead of you._

Kazuya sat, and Eijun slowly let out a sigh of relief. "You said you wanted to talk to me about something, right?" _Now it's your turn. If I can help you half as much as you helped me, it will be a good day._

Nodding, the catcher began. "One of the team sought me out the other day to talk. He said that he didn't feel like he had the same level of dedication to the team as others did, and that he wasn't sure if he should stay on the team with those kinds of doubts. I told him that if he really wanted to leave, I would let him. I don't want to force anyone to stay where he doesn't want to be. But, I wonder if as a captain I should have encouraged him to stay? I don't want to lose anyone, and I think he could be of value to our team. especially off the field. He's the one that gave us such good analysis of Teitou, just from watching a tape." _I'm really torn about this, Eijun._

Eijun thought carefully for a few minutes. "Wow, that's a tough one. It's true that there are a bunch of baseball crazed idiots on the team, present company _included_ , thank you very much. But, that doesn't mean that someone less driven is of no use. It is true, though, that you shouldn't force anyone to stay if they truly want to leave. However, I'd consider the fact that he did come to you first—so maybe he doesn't want to leave, he just wants to feel useful. Giving him some task, especially if he's well suited for it, could be what makes him find his passion in regards to baseball. Maybe it's not actually playing; maybe it is analysis or play counting. What I think you should do is speak to him again and ask him if he wants to leave, or if he wants to find some area that is his that he can use to help the team. Nothing you said to him was wrong, Kazuya. You just need to tell him the other things as well." _You're a good captain. I can see you trying to communicate better. I'm glad you're taking this seriously._

"Well, that was…really quite helpful, Eijun. I'd never thought about it in quite that way, and it makes so much sense. Thank you." _You're the best friend I could ever want, and I never want us to be separated like that again. I won't allow it to happen again._

"Good! I'm glad to be of service! Now that we've gotten both of our minds clear, is there anything else you want to talk about, Kazuya?" Eijun asked with a grin.

Kazuya looked thoughtful. "Yes, actually. One thing. I just realized this a few days ago—did we really hold hands all the way back to the dorms the other night?" _And was it weird that I didn't notice? It just felt normal, like what should be._

"I think we did? I'm not sure I remember fully, I was exhausted. We both were. We used to hold hands when we'd walk home from practice sometimes, remember. When we were beat to hell and didn't know if we'd make it, we were so tired? Maybe it's just still a habit." _I'll be happy to hold your hand whenever you'd like—hopefully next time I'll remember it._

"Ah yes, that makes sense. I'd forgotten about that." Standing up, he held out his hand to Eijun. "We'd probably better head back; you need your sleep for tomorrow." _And I need to think things through. I feel like I'm missing something, like there's something I'm not understanding._ Eijun looked up at his best friend and smiled. Putting his hand in Kazuya's he allowed him to pull him upright. Once he was standing, he held on to Kazuya's hand for a few seconds and then let it go—but not before giving it a quick squeeze.

Walking back to the dorms, they chatted quietly about Eijun's progress in play calling. He explained what he had been doing, and Kazuya gave him some tips and strategies.

When they got to the dorms, they stood there just looking at each other for a bit. Eventually, Kazuya turned towards the stairs to his room. Bidding each other a quiet goodnight, they went their separate ways.

 _Sleep well, sweet dreams._

 _From: Me(miyukik )_

 _To: Ei-chan(catch4me .jp)_

 _Eijun-_

 _I'm excited for your start tomorrow—I know that you'll be great._

 _Just relax and trust our battery._

 _We've got this._

 _We've also got Inashiro; we are going to beat Mei._

 _I know I've mentioned it before, but I will never regret going to Seido. I would have regretted following Mei to Inashiro, because at some point I would have figured out how badly I screwed up us by cutting contact. At that point, I wouldn't have known what to do; but I would have known that I'd lost one of the few things in this world that I truly cared about._

 _Something you don't know about me:_

 _I miss Nagano, especially in the winter. The snow that's so deep you have to watch where you walk. Making snowmen that don't melt for days. Hot chocolate by a fire in a warm room. Laughing and talking, playing games when you can't get outside. Those are all things I miss a lot._

 _Remember when we tried to play catch with snowballs? It didn't work out so well—but still, we tried every year, thinking that it had to work sometime._

 _Strange that I don't picture any of that at my old house, only at yours. Maybe not so strange, in many ways your house was more home than mine was._

 _I'm not sure I miss your grandpa's smacks, though!_

 _Eh, who am I kidding. I do miss them as well._

 _Get some sleep; tomorrow's going to be a blast—looking forward to it!_

 _-Kazuya_


	13. Miyuki Discovers and Sawamura Overcomes

Game Day.

Eijun woke up early and full of nerves. Deciding he needed to calm himself, he got dressed quietly and snuck out of the room, headed for the practice field to get in some laps. I'm not scared anymore; I think I'm just 'game day' combined with some 'first-time-starter' nerves. Running will help with that. He broke into a slow jog, just warming up his body, enjoying the morning and the cool air. Early October—it's going to be a beautiful day to play baseball. Jogging up to the stairs leading down to the field, he saw that there was someone already running. Looking closely, he recognized Kazuya. Why's he here already? I've never seen him out here early on game day before. I wonder if he's nervous. Why would he be nervous? He's done this so many times. Taking a breath, he ran down the stairs and joined his friend on the next lap. Falling in step with Kazuya, he set his pace to match. Quietly they moved together, listening to the slap of their shoes hitting the ground, feeling the stretch of sleepy muscles—just relaxing into the peace of the morning and the comfort of running with a friend, minds drifting.

Kazuya was not at all surprised to have company on his morning run; he'd expected that Eijun would join him. Total disclosure, he'd gone running only because he wanted to see the boy. He wanted to assess his mental state someplace where Eijun didn't have to put on a front for his teammates as well as away from the formality of game prep. You're moving well, and you're holding your head up, looking ahead. That's good. You look like you slept, but you seem to be a little nervous—that could be a plus, you don't want to get cocky.

"Good Morning, Eijun. You're up and about early!" Kazuya grinned at his friend.

Eijun smiled back. "I could say the same for you, Kazuya. This is normal for me, jogging off some extra energy. You're not normally out here, though, what's up with that?" You don't look too bothered, you look rested. "Are you nervous about the game?"

Kazuya snorted. "Nope, not at all. I just came out here to check on you."

"Really? How am I, then? Clearly you've been out here for a while, so you must be done with your assessment." Eijun chuckled. "I'm fine, though, thanks. Did you sleep well? This is pretty early for you."

"I'm hurt, Eijun. You really think I'm that lazy?" He smirked. "You're not the only one up with the birds. Although I do admit to generally preferring to lounge around for a while before emerging. I figured you'd be here, though, and wanted to make sure you weren't thinking yourself into a tizzy. You look good. How are you feeling? Any nerves?"

"Nerves? I'm starting for the first time, of course I have nerves. But I'm good; I'm not afraid or intimidated. I'm more edgy than anything, thus the running, burn off some of the excess." He slowed to a walk, the short run and the conversation combining to take the edge off. Kazuya slowed with him, pacing alongside. Together, they climbed the stairs and headed back to face the day.

They walked into the cafeteria and grabbed breakfast. Taking their loaded trays, they joined Haruichi and Kuramochi at a table. Raising his voice as he sat down, Kazuya announced: "The game starts at 12:30, be on the bus by 10:30 or get left behind." Looking at the clock, he saw it was almost nine. "You have an hour and a half; don't goof off too much before you get ready."

Nodding in agreement, the team resumed eating. The atmosphere in the cafeteria was both tense and excited, which was normal for a game day. Kazuya was glad that any unease about Eijun starting didn't seem to be affecting the team dynamic.

"Oi, Bakamura! I saw that, you need to eat more rice! Plus an extra bowl, you skipped out on one last night!" Kuramochi grabbed his roommate in a chokehold.

Eijun tried to shrug him off. "Kuramochi-senpai, I can't eat if you're choking me! Let me go!" The whole table laughed, glad to see that Eijun was in his normal high spirits.

Kazuya finished his breakfast and returned the tray, leaving the others sitting at the table goofing around. Grinning at the antics of his friends, he headed towards the exit. As he was heading out of the cafeteria, he saw Nabe sitting at a table by the door. Sliding in across from him, he greeted the boy. "Hey, Nabe. Do you have a minute? I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Sure do, what did you need?" Nabe was curious, after the last talk they had, he wasn't sure exactly what the captain had in mind.

"I just wanted to clarify what I said the other night, I'm afraid I left you with the wrong impression. I consider you an important part of this team, and I don't want you to quit. If you're looking for something to do to support the team, I think analyzing the Inashiro game today could be a first step on that path. I may be wrong, but I believe that kind of information filtered through eyes like yours is invaluable. However, if you still want to resign from the team I won't stop you, although I would hate for it to happen." Kazuya told the boy, in all seriousness.

Nabe shook his head. "I never really wanted to quit. I just want to feel like I'm helping out. I'm curious to watch the game, see what kind of data I can compile, if it's that much more than what I see on film. If that works well, I'll be glad to have contributed to the team."

"That's great! I'm looking forward to whatever you can discover. Do you have a way to get to the stadium? If you need to take a cab, save the receipt, the club will cover it." Kazuya stood up and waved. "Thank you, Nabe. I really appreciate it, and I'm sure the rest of the team will as well."

"Good luck, Miyuki! Have a good game!" Kazuya smiled at the boy as he walked out of the cafeteria on his way to change and collect his gear.

Arriving at Edogawa Stadium, the team disembarked from the bus and entered the stadium, heading for the third base side dugout—they were the visiting team, so they're at bat first.

Once there, Seido started their warm up, with Kazuya and Eijun in the bullpen. "Looking good, Sawamura!" shouted Kazuya after catching a particularly nice outside ball. Eijun took in a deep breath.

"Are you trying to suck in all the air, idiot? Save some for the birds!" Kazuya snickered. He is an idiot. But he also looks ready. Good for you, Eijun.

"Looks like you're in good shape, Sawamura. But what you do in the bullpen doesn't count for anything, really. It's what you do on the field that matters." Kuramochi and Zono walked up to Kazuya, watching the battery practice.

"What a mean thing to say!" retorted Eijun.

Kuramochi snorted. "What's the matter, getting nervous?"

"Of course I am! This is the first time I've been a starter."

Zono interjected. "He's been using his head lately, paying attention to the mix of pitches and such when practicing." Kazuya smirked. This is someone else who acknowledges you, Eijun. He sees how hard you've been working.

"After figuring out the outside pitch, he began to see his pitches as weapons that can be used to get results, thinking about combinations." Zono continued. "Well, in his case he had to feel it more than think it, I believe."

"Alrighty, then. I'm going to check out your pitches myself from the batter's box. Go for it!" Kuramochi got into batting position.

Kazuya watched Eijun windup. Not understanding until he feels it, huh? That's Eijun for you. Until recently all he could do was attack the inside corner as hard as he could, but adding the outside pitches will give him a freedom he's never had before.

Eijun pitched the ball. It was high and inside. All three second years looked on in shock, and Eijun laughed. "You fell for it, Kuramochi-senpai. Now that the course of this inside pitch is burned in your eyes, the outside pitch will feel much further away! All that's left for me to do is calmly pitch to the outside! Groundwork! For the finishing outside pitch! BWAHAHAHA!"

"Ummm…Sawamura." Kazuya said. "You just pitched…an inside pitch!" You idiot, you didn't even realize it did you? Unbelievable. You're amazing. I love…wait, what?...Ok, filing that away to inspect after the game.

"Whaaa?" Eijun's face went blank as he processed the information.

Top of the first inning. Kuramochi got on base and promptly stole second, as expected. Shirasu bunted, moving Kuramochi to third. One out, runner on third. Very fast runner on third. Haruichi hit to the center field, bringing Kuramochi in. Next up is Kazuya, who managed to hit a base hit, also as expected—there was a runner on first, after all. So, runners on first and second. One out. Zono hit a double along the left baseline, bringing in Haruichi and advancing Kazuya to third. Zono's on second. The sixth batter, Furuya, popped a fly to the pitcher—two outs. Runners on second and third. Toujou gets walked. So, bases loaded, two outs. Kanemaru stepped up for his first at bat as a starter in a Seido game. He hit deep, right between center and left fields, bringing in all the runners.

Seido's up by five.

To absolutely no one's surprise, Eijun struck out. Seido is retired.

Before they take the field, Kazuya talked to Eijun. "We've got to protect that lead. Forget the five runs; we have to pretend like there are no runs. If we don't guard it closely, we won't retain the momentum. Also. About the inside pitch. I'm not going to call for one in a pinch, but I will call for some during the game, so be ready." You can do this. We can do this, Eijun. Our battery is capable of winning harder games than this will be. Trust me.

Eijun nodded. "Ok!" I'll be fine. You should trust me too, Kazuya. This isn't all on you.

Eijun walked to the mound. It looked different, somehow. This little mound looks fresh. This is the mound of the starting pitcher! I've never stood on a new mound before. "Balls will come flying in your direction! So fielders, thank you for your support!" I won't let you down again. I promise. All the fielders looked ready to go.

Miyuki called, Eijun pitched. Outside, strike. Outside, strike. Outside, ball. Outside, foul. Inside…What? The first batter, Kazuya? Are you crazy?

You said it yourself, Eijun, to prep for the outside ball that will get him out. Don't think too much about it, you'll be fine. I know you can do this. I trust you.

Eijun nodded. It doesn't even have to be a strike, just inside. We'll be lucky if he swings on it. He pitched. The ball is inside—a little bit too inside. Dead ball, pitch hit the batter. The first batter is walked. "My apologies!" Eijun yelled at the outfield. Damn, I messed up. I've got this, though, we'll be ok!

Next batter. Eijun was distracted, trying to pick off the runner on base, which caused him to walk the batter. Runners on first and second, no outs.

Kazuya signed for an outside pitch. Calm down; let's take this easy. Get yourself under control, Eijun, you'll be fine. Eijun pitched. The batter hit it off the end of the bat, causing the ball to go toward first base, but it doesn't go very far before it dies and the runner is tagged by Zono. One out, runners on second and third.

Up next, the cleanup batter. An outside pitch called for by Miyuki. The batter took a step forward, over the batter box line, in order to better hit the outside pitch he'd predicted was coming. Foul, but barely.

He stepped in without a second thought. Did he think we would only pitch to the outside? I would love to pitch one inside and get him off his game, but I don't know if I can ask Eijun for that right now. I want to see him get over the yips, but we've got the lead and some wiggle room, let's just play it safe. Kazuya asked for another outside ball.

Eijun shook his head, for the first time refusing to pitch the pitch Kazuya asked for. There was a collective intake of breath from the fielders, but Eijun stood firm. I know I'm not the smartest person here, but even I could see that he stepped forward, expecting the outside ball. He doesn't think I'll throw to the inside, but we need to do so. This pitch. Trust me, Kazuya. I can do this.

Kazuya looked at the coach who nodded. The catcher cracked a smile and shifted to the inside. Eijun, once again you surprise me. I know you can do this. Let's get this smug asshole out. He's not expecting anything but outside pitches, so just a bit inside would be good. Give me a strike!

Just like normal. Relax my whole body. Focus all my energy on one spot—my fingertips. Eijun pitched.

Strike!

The stadium went quiet for a second or two.

Suddenly, to the bemusement of the Nanamori team, the Seido stands erupted in cheers. "Sawamura! You're Awesome! Attack full throttle!"

Kazuya grinned a feral grin. I knew you had it in you, Ei-chan. I'm so proud of you, so happy for you. Now you can fight with all of your weapons. "Nice ball, Sawamura!" That was in the strike zone, nowhere near hitting the batter. If he'd been standing where he was supposed to be, he may have been able to hit it.

Eijun smiled widely at Kazuya, his eyes sparkling. We did it! Wediditwediditwedidit! Kazuya! We did it!

Getting ready for the next pitch, Kazuya sighed internally. We did it, yes. But now you're too excited—Eijun, you have to settle down, we've got to get this guy out. That's what we set up for, right? Calm down.

Eijun wound up and pitched. My heart's racing, I can't contain my emotions…Straight down the middle.

And this, Kazuya thought, is what I was afraid of.

The batter swung and hit. The ball soared to the left field. Furuya caught it, and sent it roaring back home to get the runner on third out. Two outs.

"We've got two outs! Everybody stay calm!" Eijun shouted. Shit, what am I thinking? I got carried away after only one pitch. Look at Furuya; he's ready to take my place as soon as possible. I've got to relax and pitch my game. Let's keep going! He relaxed, waiting for his catcher's signal.

That's right, Eijun. The mound doesn't belong to you. Yet. Kazuya called for an outside ball. Right now, you're still only a sprout of a great big eye-catching flower. That flower is small for now, but very strong. It's entirely up to you how big it grows.

Eijun pitched. Strike. Two pitches later, the batter was out and the side retired.

"OOO…" Kuramochi grabbed him from behind and stopped him from yelling. "Nice pitching!"

"Let me say it, please! There are people who want to hear it!" Eijun pleaded with his senpai.

"No there aren't, and anyway you got yourself into that mess in the first place!"

By the end of the fifth inning, the game was set. 11-0, Seido. Eijun hadn't allowed a single run in his first game starting. The Seido fans in the stands were overjoyed; the players were happy to have won one so easily. It was good not to have to exhaust themselves the day before they were going to play Inashiro.

Kazuya walked beside Eijun back to the dugout. He threw some easy pitches here and there, but overall his pitching was great, really dynamic. Good job, Eijun, more than I ever could have expected of you. We've also got your inside pitches back, which is marvelous. "You've finally made it!" He told the pitcher, grinning. "You're now in contention for the ace position." Eijun looked shocked, but only for a second.

Eijun yelled. "Thank you! I'll continue to dedicate myself to baseball without ever giving up!" Thank you, Kazuya. You've made me so much stronger that I would ever manage to be on my own.

Outside the stadium, the team waited for the bus to be ready. They were happy to have won so handily, and were looking forward to the game against Inashiro. Noticing Ochiai looking at the team, Eijun walked up to him and suggested he join in the conversation if he wanted to do so.

"No, I was really just curious about you. You're a strange pitcher." He continued. "You were afraid of pitching to the inside, weren't you? Why can you suddenly do so now?"

Eijun chuckled, self-consciously. "I'm still afraid of that pitch. But I'm more afraid of not being able to pitch, being taken off the mound. Losing myself, getting nervous...even if that was the best I could do at that time, I don't ever want to feel that way again. That's why I practice so hard, that's why I can do it. Because I can't not do it." I won't lose to anybody, especially myself. I refuse.

Kazuya watched carefully, he did not trust Ochiai at all. Eijun, this growth started with that dead ball, so in some way we should be grateful for it. I do think that you're probably the one who most wants revenge against Inashiro. We'll get it. Together.

Off to one side, Higasho was on the phone with Nabe. "What? Really? Inashiro...lost?"

Everybody came to attention. Disbelief was displayed on all the faces. "Ok, everyone on the bus!" the coach's voice could be heard above the murmuring. They all loaded up to go home.

On the bus, there were only two subjects of conversation: Inashiro's loss and Eijun's inside pitch. Kazuya refused to join in the speculation, preferring to wait until he could view the tape and talk to Nabe. Before getting distracted with tomorrow's game, I should think about what happened in the bullpen. Do I—could I? I guess it's possible; he's been my best friend forever. Is it that big of a step? I mean, I know I love him, but do I love love him? I've known for a long time that I preferred boys, but still, this is unexpected. How does he feel? At this point, I guess that doesn't matter—I have to figure myself out first. So, let's suppose I love Eijun. Does that even make sense? Strangely enough, the idea doesn't feel weird at all. Eijun is Eijun, and I can't imagine going back to the life I had before he forced his way back in. So maybe I do. What do I do about it? Could he possibly love me back? He's got a massive heart, but will he be able to overlook the nastier bits of my personality? I know I'm not a nice person. I know I can be demanding and ruthless, with little patience for idiocy. So I don't know if he does love me, if he can love me. But that's still not the issue here...what am I going to do about it? I'm not sure there's anything I can do about it right now, honestly. As long as I can continue to treat him normally, as long as it doesn't mess with our game play, nothing needs to change—we can figure this out after the Fall Tournament. It can wait. Nothing can interfere with our playing; we need to focus on that. It can wait. Satisfied with that conclusion, Kazuya put his head back and closed his eyes, trying to relax before the afternoon of game planning ahead.

In the clubroom, some of the team was gathered to review the Inashiro game. Nabe had taken detailed notes, and they also had footage from the game.

Pushing into the room, Eijun was clearly upset. "Excuse me, but did you say that Narumiya got hit on and lost?" I can't believe that we're being denied our revenge. I can't accept it.

"Hush, Sawamura, let's just watch the film. We're as surprised as you are."

Nabe interjected. "It didn't look like they were out of condition; it just looked like the battery couldn't agree with each other."

"Even if they lost, the fact that they did so before we could pay them back for the summer bothers me." Eijun grated out.

"Sawamura, sit down!" Kazuya ordered. "Instead of dwelling on the losers, get over it and focus on the team we're playing tomorrow." I agree, Eijun, but we can't let the loss blind us to what we have to do. We have to win tomorrow, there's no other option.

After the team meeting, where they reviewed the data recorded by Nabe, Eijun was still upset. He still wasn't over the loss of Inashiro, and he couldn't figure out how to force himself to relax.

"You guys should come to our room after your bath." Kodu told Eijun and Haruichi. "We'll teach you some light stretches."

"Sawamura, do you know the Maeken exercises?" Kodu asked as the group climbed the stairs. Eijun shook his head. "I think they might help you a lot. They stretch you before you pitch, allowing you to gauge your scapula's condition, strengthen your inner arms and help prevent injuries. He has unusually flexible arms and wrists like you do. I know that Chris-senpai spoke to you about taking care of your body, and this could help."

Eijun watched the footage closely, copying it exactly after the first viewing and committing the motions to memory.

"Also, I wanted you to know that there are a lot of people on the team who think you're doing great. No one expected that fast of growth from you, you're amazing!" Eijun turned bright red, embarrassed.

The second years stayed back after the meeting, looking over the players and talking about the game. Miyuki was visibly pissed off. "They lost as soon as Mei shook off that call. He was being selfish; I would never let my pitchers get away with that bullshit." He glared. Mei, you are an idiot. You are not in it alone; I think you forgot that. "Nevertheless, it's a huge advantage for us; we can use this to motivate ourselves even more."

Kuramochi said, "Nabe, your notes are amazing. I think I would have watched Inashiro and not paid any attention to Ugumori. You, though...Miyuki—did you know this would happen?"

"Yes, I thought it might. He's a guy who can see the workings of a game and analyze it completely. Too bad that this may have been his last game." Kazuya answered.

"What do you mean?" Zono asked.

"Well, he and I talked the other day. He told me that he and his friends didn't feel that their attitude was good enough to be on the team. He said they were feeling a difference in dedication, and didn't know if they belonged. I told them that if they wanted to leave, they could. I don't want to force people to stay if they don't want to be here."

Zono was furious. "What kind of captain says stuff like that?"

"What else should I tell him? Are we all here just to be friends and toss a ball around? No, we're not. We're here to play baseball. In a few years, we're going to all split up, follow our own paths. Look at the senpai; they're all going in different directions. If he wants to do it a little earlier than the rest of us, who's to blame him, who are we to stop him?"

"I understand what you're saying, Miyuki, but would someone who wanted to quit take notes like this?" Kuramochi pointed to the game book, trying to defuse the situation.

"No, no, no! Don't just assume they're going to quit. If they haven't said anything, don't put words in their mouth. Maybe they had something else they wanted to ask. Quit jumping to conclusions!" Zono continued. "You don't know what it's like to be insecure in your position; you've been on the varsity since you walked through the doors. Your job as the captain is to lead the team even when we have doubts and anxieties. If you can't do that, I refuse to call you the captain!" He stormed out of the room.

Everyone else trickled out of the clubroom except Kazuya, who sat, lost in thought.

Half an hour later, Eijun walked into the room. He saw Kazuya sitting, his hood up and his eyes flat. Oh, nonono. What happened? This is not good. I haven't seen him like this since we were kids. He walked over to the table and slid onto the bench next to the catcher.

"Kazuya?" Eijun asked, softly. "What's going on?" Please don't shut down. Please don't shut me out. Please don't shut down. Please don't shut me out.

Kazuya finally looked up. "Eijun. Why are you still up?" I don't know if I have the energy to talk to you. Please don't pry.

"I wanted to speak with you. What's wrong?" Ok, he's talking. Keep him talking.

"Why would anything be wrong? We won, Inashiro lost, and you got your inside pitch back. Oh, and I learned that everything I suspected about me being unworthy to be a captain is abso-fucking-lutely true." Kazuya replied, bitterly. Run away from me, Eijun, I'm no good at treating people well.

"Ok, really. Kazu-kun. Look at me and tell me what happened." I'm not going anywhere, we'll get through this together, but you have to talk to me.

"I just did. That's what happened. You should go to bed now, tomorrow is going to be rough." I don't want to tell you, I don't want to burden you. You have enough on your plate.

Eijun turned towards Kazuya, straddling the bench. He pulled his friend into a loose hug, rubbing his back. "I'm not going anywhere, you're stuck with me. We can both spend the night here if you'd like, but I'm not leaving you alone. I'm here to help you. I want to help you. Please let me." Please let me in.

Resting his head on Eijun's shoulder, Kazuya sighed. "It's really not that big of a deal, I don't know why it bothered me so much." Fiddling with the ties on his hoodie, Kazuya told Eijun the story. "I think maybe I'm just tired. It's been quite a day, even with the called game." Please just follow my lead and let it go, Eijun. I'll be able to deal with it later; it's not your problem.

"Kazuya. You're my best friend. You're a freaking brilliant catcher. But you're also an idiot." I don't think he needs praise right now, I think he needs solutions and a different viewpoint. Eijun continued. "You're not a bad captain. You have the potential to be a great captain. But here's the thing—you can't do that alone. Great leaders are also willing to follow; they ask questions and take advice. You're not wrong, but neither is Zono-senpai. You don't know what it's like to work your ass off and still have to hope and pray that you get a number; that you play well enough while the coach is watching. These players made it through the summer hell camp. They train every day. But yet, they know they'll never start. Even though they hope for a different result, they know. The courage and self-discipline it takes to keep going under those circumstances is incredible. There are fifty-nine players on this team. Not just twenty. How many of those thirty-nine do you know—how many have you spoken to?" Kazuya didn't respond, but he was listening. Eijun continued, encouraged by the silence. "Zono-senpai and Kuramochi-senpai are your co-captains. Maybe you three should sit down and talk about it, figure out what you can do to help the others on the team feel like they are all part of the team. I know it's not your modus-operandi," Kazuya snorted at the mangling that Eijun gave to the Latin word. "But, I'm sure that it would benefit the team extensively." Please listen to what I am saying, Kazuya, and let it soak in. I really think it will make you be a better captain.

"Where did you even learn that word? And learned how to use it in a sentence correctly?" Kazuya snarked, sitting up while Eijun spluttered. "Honestly though, thanks. That was something I hadn't considered. I really don't know many of the non-varsity members, and I should. I'm going to suggest that Zono and Mochi meet with me sometime next week. That will give Zono time to calm down, and we'll be between games, so we'll be rested. Maybe between the three of us we can come up with something. We should be able to." He pushed his hood back, running his fingers through his hair. "I do think that I overreacted though—it shouldn't have bothered me that much. Today's been a rollercoaster." How did you know what to say, that I didn't want platitudes? You're still surprising me. If I didn't love you already, I would now.

"It was, wasn't it?" Eijun agreed. He started smiling, bouncing a little on the bench. "I got the inside pitch! I pitched a called game!" You look better, your eyes are clear. So glad this wasn't a bad one.

"You did! I'm so proud of you, you have no idea. You've got so many options now." Kazuya smiled, rubbing Eijun's head. He shifted his hand to grip the pitcher's head. "But." His voice turned ominous. "You shook off my call. I'm not saying that you were wrong, I was being overly cautious, but don't make a habit of it. You saw what happened with Inashiro. Mei should have never taken the game on his shoulders—we are a team out there. I will always consider your opinion, but at the end of the day, I'm the play caller. You can assume I always know more about the batter and about your condition than you do. If I don't follow your suggestion, please know it's not because you are wrong, it's just because I am less wrong. So follow my lead. Call me a control freak, but that's the way it goes."

Eijun snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yes, the sky is blue, the grass is green, and Kazuya is a control freak. We all know that. You're the smart one, Kazuya. I told you that you'd be the one thinking for us. I meant it." You and I are going to go places, Kazuya, just you wait and see.

"I know you did, brat, and I appreciate it. Mei really pissed me off. I know he's stubborn, but it's clear he doesn't trust his team, doesn't trust his catcher. Someone needs to kick his ass—hopefully this loss will shake him up some. He's good, but he doesn't need to carry the team alone." Pot meet kettle, I know. But I'm learning to lean, learning to lean on you. You've never let me down; please don't ever let me down. I don't know if I could recover if that happened.

"You would know all about that, wouldn't you?" You are getting better, though you might not be willing to admit it.

Kazuya smacked his friend, laughing. Standing up, he reached his hand out to Eijun. "We really should get some sleep." Taking his hand, Eijun stood. "You're right, I'm tired. Oh! I almost forgot. Kodu showed me the Maeken warm up, he thinks it might help me."

"You think so? That's interesting, I'll have to talk to him, see what that's all about."

Together, they walked out of the building headed for the dorms.

They held hands the whole way. This time, both of them noticed.

Goodnight. Sleep well. I love you.

From: Me(catch4me .jp)

To: BastardKazuya(miyukik )

Kazuya-

What a day! I'm not sure, in the end, if it was a good one or a bad one.

I think that it was a good one.

We won.

I got part of my game back.

I pitched a whole game.

Yeah, it was good.

We won't be able to get our revenge against Inashiro. At least not this time. There will be other times.

You're a manipulative tanuki, but I think you can use your powers for good, if you chose.

Not for too good, though, then no one would recognize you.

But use your powers for the good of the team.

That would be optimal.

Something you don't know about me:

I have terrible panic attacks. I haven't had one for a while.

I'm not sure when they started, sometime not long after you left. I started having bad dreams, nightmares about everyone dying, being left all alone. I'd wake up in hysterics, unable to breathe or move. Soon they started happening during the day. I don't know what triggers them; I've just not been able to pin it down. One moment I'm fine, the next I feel like I'm dying. I have a prescription for valium, in case I can't calm down, and an inhaler for breathing issues. I've talked to some doctors and gotten some coping mechanisms, so generally they're not too bad any more.

I've only had one since I've been here, and it wasn't bad. Kuramochi-senpai was with me, he helped a lot.

Get some rest, Kazuya-senpai. Tomorrow's going to be rough.

-Eijun


	14. Eijun is Not Stupid

He woke with a jolt, the dream still echoing in his mind.

Warm eyes, calloused hands gliding gently along skin. The slide of lips and touch of tongue.

Muted murmurs and low laughter echoing in the small space. Limbs tangled, breath mingling, heat.

Heat and motion, whispers and sighs. Languid caresses and liquid confessions, love and lust and heat.

Oh. Well that was...not entirely unexpected.

With a wry grin, he moved his hand down and found exactly what he expected.

Good thing I have some time before breakfast.

They met at the door into the cafeteria, both dressed and ready for the day ahead.

"Good morning, Miyuki-senpai! Did you sleep well?" Eijun queried, smiling at his friend.

"Hey, brat! I did, thanks. How about you?" He returned the smile, reaching over to open the door.

"Of course!" Eijun entered, heading for the breakfast line with Kazuya following.

"Oi, you lot, listen up!" Kazuya shouted as soon as he got through the doors. "We have the 11:30 start this morning. Bus by 10:30, you know the drill. Don't waste time!" He looked around the room and verified that the first string were all dressed in their uniforms. Nodding in approval, he went to get his breakfast. Good, everyone looks ready for the day.

Meanwhile, Eijun got his breakfast and found a seat with his fellow first years. Haruichi and Furuya were already eating.

"Good Morning, Haruichi, Furuya. You ready for the game?" Eijun asked.

Haruichi grinned. "Yes, thank you, Eijun. How are you?" He continued to eat his rice, knowing he would need all the energy he could store. With their game at 11:30, lunch would be later than usual.

"Fine, fine. I hope I get to play today, though." He looked at his friends and saw Furuya was slowly starting to steam. "Furuya! Stop it! I know you're starting, but you know your staminarol is not where you want it to be, the coach is likely to sub out at some point. That's all."

They continued to eat their meal, talking about nothing in particular.

After they arrived at the stadium, the first years decided that they needed to use the bathroom. Being wise in the ways of sports anime, the upperclassmen were unsure about letting them go unaccompanied. Pre-game, bathrooms could be scary places for their kohai; one never knew who was lurking. The second years (specifically Kuramochi and Zono) debated the matter for a bit, but determined that since there were three of them, it would probably be ok for them to go alone. So, off they went.

Walking into the bathroom, they heard a voice. "Hey, is there someone out there? Can you hand me some toilet paper?"

"Fear not, person inside, I've come to your rescue!" Eijun grabbed a roll and threw it over the door.

"Thank you! Are you, perhaps, a god?" The voice replied.

The person in the stall emerged, and Eijun did a double take.

"You're the delinquent rooster from Ugumori!"

Haruichi's hand whipped out and covered the pitcher's mouth. "Eijun, don't say things like that!" Maybe the senpai were on to something with the whole bathroom thing.

"Ohhh! You're from Seido! Are you playing today as well?"

"Yes, we are. He's pitching today." Replied Haruichi, indicting Furuya.

"Furuya? I'm glad to meet you!" Umemiya said.

Eijun interjected, "I'm the one who pitched the called game yesterday!"

"Oh right, the southpaw. I've heard about you. I wonder how you guys compare…Narumiya is a beast, his pitches are scary good. By the way, I'm the one who hit off him yesterday. Did you know that?" He smirked at them.

Eijun responded. "This guy's pitches are even harder to hit! Be careful you don't fall on your ass when you get mauled by him in the batter's box." Why do I always rise to the bait? I'm so easy to wind up; I've got to work on that.

"Interesting." Umemiya stepped into Furuya's space, glaring. "Don't run away." He stepped away and started walking to the exit. "I want a good, hard fight out there. Don't disappoint me." He slipped out the door, leaving the fuming first years in his wake.

After they did what it was they came to the bathroom for, the trio made its way back to the field. Kuramochi could see that they were shaken, and he wormed the story out of them. Specifically, he put Eijun in a chokehold until he spilled the beans.

From that day forward, Seido Baseball had a hard and fast rule. Under no circumstances was a first year ever allowed to go to the bathroom at any game unescorted by a senpai. Ever.

The team warmed up. Kazuya could feel the discord among the players who had witnessed the argument last night. I need to do something; this isn't good. This team is going to be tough to beat; we need to be functioning smoothly if we're to have any chance at winning. He looked for an opportunity to make things better.

It came after Coach Kataoka gave his pre-game instructions. The team was still loosely gathered in one place, and Kazuya proffered, "For now, we should focus on defeating the enemy in front of us. Everything else can wait." Zono was the first to agree, and the team turned its concentration to the battle ahead. That worked, I'm glad. Now all I have to do is wrangle the monster pitcher.

Finding Furuya waiting by the dugout, Kazuya started to speak to him. "Remember, control over speed. Pitch low and accurately. Don't rush or panic, we have this. Also, don't forget there's a whole team behind you, you're not on the field alone. Pay close attention to what I'm calling, and don't worry about anyone on base." In a game like this, you're probably going to be fine after your initial inning, but I still wish…He looked over to the sidelines where Eijun was warming up. Get better. Keep striving and improving. You have so far to go; you have no idea what you're capable of. Don't give up; I'm waiting for you to catch up. Be patient, we have plenty of time.

Feeling eyes on him, Eijun looked up. He grinned at Kazuya. I want to play. I want to get better. I want to get better, I will get better. Wait for me; I'll catch up to you. Together we will take on the world. I want to play with you, Kazuya. With you.

Kazuya couldn't fight the smile that he sent to his friend. I know, I know. I agree. We will be amazing.

Seido was the home team for this game, so Ugumori opened the game on offense first. Kazuya settled into position, and signaled Furuya to send one low and straight. The batter can't swing; he just watches the ball go by. "Ball!" Furuya kept pitching as Kazuya requests, and threw four balls. First batter walked. Man on first, no outs. The same thing happened with the second batter—Kazuya noticed the umpire is exacting about the location of the bottom of the strike zone. He's calling balls that should be strikes; his definition of the strike zone is very precise. We have to be more careful here. Let's concentrate on the batter. Furuya, don't get distracted by the runners.

Furuya managed to strike the third batter out, which brought the cleanup, Umemiya, to the plate. Kazuya doesn't want to go head to head with him; he wants to get him out using the splitter, drawing him into strikes and fouls. If he gets a hit, he's going to take the momentum. We can't afford to lose that in the first inning. Your splitter is your best weapon against this guy, use it well, Furuya. Top of the first inning, one out, runners on first and second. First pitch. Kazuya signaled for the low outside corner, but the pitch was high. Umemiya hit it, foul. Second pitch. Again, Kazuya signaled the splitter to the outside corner, but even lower. Furuya pitched right down the middle, exactly what Kazuya asked him not to do. Umemiya swung and it sailed out of the park. All the runners come home, and Ugumori has three home runs.

First inning, one out. 3-0.

Kazuya was not happy. In fact, it's fair to say that he was furious. Visions of Mei floating in his head, he called for a time out. Walking out to the mound, he signaled for the rest of the players to stay put. They were all glad to comply, recognizing the look on his face. "Furuya. What the everliving fuck was that? Are you an idiot? I warned you about him! I told you we couldn't take him on! Not only that, but to pull that when you already had two runners on base? So, now they have three runs that are all completely on you! Are you so wrapped up in your own ego, you can't see the game? You think you're the only one being challenged here? Listen carefully, I'm only going to say this once. While you're on the mound, you are to do as I say. If I fucking ask you to act like a goddamn duck, I'd better hear some loud quacking immediately. If that's a problem for you and your ego, get the fuck off my field." He paused to take a breath. "You're the ace of this team. Get out of your own head and act like it. You carry more than just the number one on your back, so straighten up!"

Furuya hung his head, but said nothing for a few seconds. Softly, he spoke. "You're absolutely right, I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"It had better not!" Kazuya growled, heading back to his position.

The next batter stepped up to the plate. Kazuya signaled, Furuya pitched. Strike. With his head back in the game, Furuya quickly gets the next two outs.

Side retired, 3-0.

Seido's up. Kuramochi gets a hit and landed at first base. Both Shirasu and Haruichi had difficulties with Umemiya's pitching—his two main pitches were at different speeds, and they'd not had a chance to adjust yet. Two outs, and a man on third, Kuramochi wasn't about to stay put on first, he'd managed to steal twice. Kazuya's turn at bat. I have to get a hit off him, if I don't the team may begin to believe that he's impossible to hit, and that would be a disaster. He couldn't quite get the timing right, so he kept hitting foul balls. Umemiya got visibly frustrated at his inability to strike him out, and so he made the decision to pull out his curveball, the one that shocked Inashiro so badly. Unfortunately for Umemiya, Kazuya's studied this pitch and has no difficulty hitting it. He gets to first base, and Kuramochi gets home. 3-1, 2 outs.

"Oooshi, oshi, oshi!" Comes ringing out from the dugout. Eijun is in the bullpen, ostensibly warming up. In reality, he's watching Kazuya at bat. Confused, he looks at the dugout and realizes it's Ooda yelling. Wait a minute! My 'oshi!' was stolen?

Next up, Zono. He hit, sending Kazuya home. 3-2, two outs, man on first. Furuya is up next, but he didn't manage to get a hit, so the inning ends. As he left the field, Zono thanked Kazuya for hitting the curveball; it helped him get his timing down to hit the fastball that was thrown right after.

Play continued. The next time Umemiya came up to bat, Furuya backed down and pitched exactly as Kazuya called. Strike out, no score. Seido was having more luck; Kazuya's next at bat led to a two run homer, and the hits just kept coming.

By the end of the fifth inning, the score was 6-3.

Kazuya was keeping Furuya focused on the batters while he dealt with any potential base stealing. It's strange. They've not been successful at all, but they're not getting down, in fact, they're downright cheerful. It's somewhat creepy; I don't trust it. It makes me nervous.

Seventh inning. Furuya's lost some power, Kazuya noticed, but has improved his accuracy. Neither of which is a bad thing, far from it. After the inning, the score was 8-3, and the Ugumori players were still energetic and smiling. Kazuya was still worried about it. Although he didn't know for sure what they're up to, he soon had some idea. As the inning ended, the crowd started to get increasingly behind the Ugumori team, seeing them as the underdogs who are cheerfully playing their best against a powerhouse team; the atmosphere in the stadium was changing, Ugumori was stealing the momentum without scoring a single run.

Top of the eighth. Umemiya was at bat. He changed his strategy, waiting for a hittable ball rather than swinging away. It worked for him, and got him on first base. The next batter hit as well, sending Umemiya home. 8-4. Consecutive batters were also successful, scoring one more run and eventually loading the bases with no outs. The crowd was going wild; they were excited to see this underdog team doing so well. Seido botched a double play, and Ugumori scored two more runs. 8-7, with two outs.

Furuya was visibly shaken, and Kazuya couldn't think of anything he could do to help him. I've done what I could for him; he's going to have to figure it out by himself. If we can't shut down this insane momentum, we're really in trouble. He stood, preparing to take a timeout, when a voice rang out from the bullpen.

"Furuya, do you see now? I told you that baseball wasn't always easy! You want to pitch the whole game, and now someone's thrown a monkey wrench in the works. What are you going to do now, ace? Sit there and get all flustered because you're only ahead by one point? I'd be out there playing now if the coach asked me to. But guess what, he hasn't! And do you know why that is? It's because he has faith in you. You're the ace; you can pull this one out. Don't worry about the runners or tying the score, let the rest of the team worry about that. You just need to pitch your ass off and get this batter out so you can get back to the dugout." Everyone on the field looked shocked at those words, Furuya most of all. Kazuya grinned wryly. Only you, Eijun. Only you would say something to help a rival that was down. True, it helps the team as well, but knowing you, you'd do it if he was alone and struggling. You have the biggest heart I know, Ei-chan, and I love you for that. Thank you, you may have just pulled our asses out of the fire.

Ignoring the runners completely, Kazuya focused on Furuya. The pitcher seemed to have been heartened by Eijun's speech, and was able to pitch well, quickly striking out the next batter. Side change.

"That's how you do it! Strong pitches that the batter can't even hit are your strongest weapon! In fact, you have everything I lack and I kind of hate you right now, you bastard!" Eijun continued to both praise and insult Furuya in the way only he could.

Back in the dugout, Coach Kataoka praised Furuya for his pitching. When Furuya requested to pitch the final inning, though, the coach refused. Kazuya was not surprised. He'll probably go with Nori. He has the pitches to get these guys out. However, the atmosphere here is worse than that last inning at the Teitou game, and he barely got through that unscathed. If I had to pick, I would go with Eijun…he's used to playing in unfavorable conditions and keeping a level head, since he was the captain and had to keep the team steady. It's not my call, though. We'll get through it, whatever the coach decides.

"Miyuki!" The coach called him over. "Listen well. In these conditions, you have to consider everyone not on your team to be the enemy, including the umpires. Go out there and fight from the first pitch, be aggressive. Don't give the enemy an opening; they'll take the game if they get one. Also, for the next inning, I'm going with Sawamura. He's best suited for this environment. It takes a strong will and emotional fortitude to overcome that crowd and the momentum that Ugumori has. He has both of those in spades. I want you to fight them with the outside pitches, using the inside for a distraction."

"Got it, coach." Good. Eijun, you're going to be spectacular out there. We have this.

Kazuya's up to bat. Two outs, runner on third. It would be nice to score here, a two-point lead is exponentially more difficult to overcome, and it would put the brakes on some of this out of control energy. He hit, but the fielders did their job. Three outs, side change.

Seido took the field, top of the ninth. Eijun trotted out to the mound to prepare. The crowd was a mix of emotions. Murmurs of "Sawamura? Why not Nori?" "Nori makes more sense!" and cries of "Ugumori Fight!" combined to make the stadium feel like a war zone. Kazuya walked to the mound to talk to his pitcher.

"Enjoying it? It feels so much worse out here than expected, right?" You're going to be all right, Eijun, I'm here.

"I know, it's bad…almost like we're the away team." I'm fine, Kazuya, we have this. Eijun's eyes lit up with anticipation.

Kazuya smirked. "Think about how great it will be to shut them all up." Both the Ugumori cheerleaders and the naysayers on our side. Eijun smirked in return, chuckling evilly along with his friend. The other Seido players blanched when they realized how much Kazuya had influenced Eijun, and that their battery was completely villainous.

"Looks like your bad personality is rubbing off on me." This is going to be so much fun, Kazu-kun.

"Thank you!" It is, it is, Ei-chan. Fun is the perfect word for it.

"…I'm not going there. So, how do you want to do this?"

After they figured out a general strategy, Kazuya walked back to home plate. Crouching down, he looked at his friend on the mound. Eijun was wearing a feral grin, eyes gleaming with some unholy combination of determination and glee. God help me if he ever seriously turns that look on me…

First pitch. Low and away. Ball. Eijun's surprised, Kazuya is not, he's used to this umpire being picky. You'll be fine; we just have to be careful about the height. Next pitch, inside. It's a one hopper, because Eijun tensed up a bit after the last ball. Third pitch, foul. 2-1 is the count. One more pitch. Batter hit the ball; Kuramochi is a second late and the runner got on first. Now there's a runner on base to worry about, but Kazuya doesn't expect him to steal. Ugumori was probably going to play it safe with this runner, since the next batter is Umemiya, and they could potentially get two runs with him at bat.

Next up, Umemiya. If they could get him out, it would kill Ugumori's momentum. First pitch, inside. Ball. Second pitch, outside. The batter swung, fouling the ball. 1-1, the count. Third pitch, outside. Ball, but Umemiya swung, so it's a strike. 1-2. Next pitch. High and outside, ball. 2-2 count. Eijun was starting to tense up, to react to the batter's intensity. I have to calm down, if I tense up I can't pitch well. Relax, relax. Unable to stop the flashbacks to the Inashiro game, he was throwing too high, heading for a repeat of what happened with Furuya.

Kazuya was thinking furiously, trying to figure out a way to help him. The crowd was jeering and cheering, making things worse. I can't force him to calm down, it's just not working. He's unintentionally being caught up in the fight with the batter. If he can't tamp down his emotions, can we channel them? A half-assed pitch won't work against this batter anyway. Let's use that emotion and energy you can't shake to strike this one out, Eijun! I know we're supposed to fight with the outside, but this pitch is better for fighting.

Eijun was waiting for the call. Just tell me what to pitch, Kazuya. I'm trusting you to do the thinking here. I know I'm not as calm as I need to be, that I'm being dragged into a duel we can't afford to fight. How can I end it?

The crowd was on its feet, waiting for the battery to act. They're sure that this was the end for Seido, even though they're ahead in the count.

Kazuya signaled for a cutter, inside. He met Eijun's surprised eyes. This is the best pitch for you to fight with; this is the pitch you've been fighting for the hardest. Throw it with everything you have, give it all to me, Eijun. I trust you to do this.

Eijun nodded, eyes hardening with determination. I can do this, Kazuya. I will do this.

Kazuya shifted into position. This is the best we can do, right here. If it's you, I think we can do it, even under these tough conditions. The coach must agree, or you wouldn't be in. If this fails, at least the later batters will be wary of this pitch. If they score, we'll just have to take it back. Do it, Eijun.

Eijun held the ball, thinking. This is scary, what if I fuck it up? Look what happened before…but do I want to run away? If I try to run, to do this half-heartedly, this pitch will fail. I want to go to Koshien, I want the coach to stay. I don't want to be afraid any more. This, then, this is where I make my stand. This is where I throw my pitch without fear or regret. I don't want to have any more regrets, I'm tired of regrets. I'm going to do this, Kazuya.

He pitched. Low and inside cutter, exactly as requested. Umemiya swung, hitting a line drive right to the pitcher's mound. Eijun snagged the ball, and sent it flying to Kuramochi, who tagged second and threw the ball over to Zono on first. Double play. The crowd went silent.

That went better than expected. Kazuya thought. I was hoping for one out, we got two. Well done, Eijun. Well done. One more out and we're in the quarterfinals.

"One more out, one more!" Eijun yelled at the fielders.

"That's our line, idiot!" they replied.

The ending was anticlimactic. They struck out the last batter, having totally shut down the Ugumori team's momentum. Game set, 8-7.

Seido advanced to the quarterfinals.

Back at the school, the team was hanging around in the clubroom, discussing the game. Eijun was babbling about the game, just generally being an irritant, so Kuramochi volunteered to shut him up in the best way he knows, the chokehold.

"Did you decide to call for that cutter on your own?" Ono asked Kazuya.

Kazuya replied, "Yes, I wanted to show him something different. We'd pitched a lot outside, so I wanted to shake him a bit, get him to swing on something. In that atmosphere, that was the only thing we could do."

"I see," Ono said, "So it wasn't just the call, Sawamura did an excellent job with the pitch as well. He's been getting good recently. Pretty amazing, actually."

Kazuya agreed. He's learned quickly how differentiate between an outside and inside pitch, and throws them reliably. Next, I think he needs a breaking ball, something that will totally throw off the rhythm of the batters. I wonder how long that will take him to learn? Maybe in the off-season. Then any other pitches you learn will just be gravy, Eijun, you'll pretty much already have everything you'll need.

"But we can't forget Nabe's work that helped so much in the game, I'm not sure we would have won without it." Everyone agreed with Ono.

Zono steamed up instantly. "I've still not forgiven you for saying that stuff, Miyuki!"

"I'm not going to apologize; I don't think anything I said was wrong. But it really doesn't matter what I think anyway, what matters is what Nabe thinks."

"If you really believe that, then why did you say all those things?"

"Because he needs to make up his own mind, not be coerced by the captain of his team." Kazuya responded.

He continued. "Listen, Zono. Can we not do this tonight? I was hoping we could discuss it Wednesday after practice. You, Kuramochi and me. Hopefully we can come to some kind of accord."

"Sure, that would be fine—we'll leave it for now." Zono pushed away from the table and walked out the door.

Kuramochi was watching from the side of the room, with Eijun at his side. The pitcher was distressed at the sight, not wanting the team to fall apart. Kuramochi just laughed, and told Eijun, "You should have seen some of the fights the senpai had when they first had to lead the team. Jun and Tetsu used to have some terrible arguments, they wouldn't speak to each other for days. Scared the hell out of us first-years, let me tell you. Maybe they've rubbed off on us, who knows? They worked it out, we will too. As the years change, the team dynamic changes, and it always takes some shuffling to make all the pieces fit, to feel comfortable."

"Wow, Kuramochi-senpai, you can be smart!" Eijun raved, and ducked the swing that he knew was coming. "Did you learn that from your boyfriend?" Oh. Wait. Shit. Was I supposed to know that?

"No, Ryou didn't…wait a minute. I never told you. Bakamura! How do you know?" He barked at his kohai, with a bit of fear in his eyes.

"Sorry, Kuramochi-senpai, Haruichi mentioned it in passing, I haven't told anyone. If you want me to keep it a secret, I will." Eijun was quick to reassure his roommate.

Kuramochi sighed in relief. Of all the places he could have learned it, Ryou's little brother was the least damaging. "No, no. It's fine. Please don't spread it around the school; we don't want it to affect our situation here. We are open about it outside of the grounds, though, and it's not that big of a deal that you know. Most of the second years know already. I just wanted to make sure there weren't some strange rumors flying around."

"Ok, no problem. If you ever want to have some privacy, please let me know. I can always find someplace else to be for a while, or even somewhere to crash for a night. We'll just pretend you locked me out. Again." Eijun smirked.

"Wow, it does look like some of Miyuki's twistedness is rubbing off on you. I like it. Since we're playing true confessions, I have one for you. I know about you and Miyuki, about your history. A while ago, I saw some stuff go on between you that made me worried for you. I thought maybe he was hauling you into one of his schemes. They're generally harmless, but sometimes someone gets hurt. You were already upset because of the yips thing, and I didn't want you to sustain any collateral damage. That was about the same time you had a similar talk with Haruichi, if I'm not mistaken, and I rarely am. Anyway, he told me everything, and I think it's great that you've gotten the band back together. If you need any help with him, let me know. I doubt I know him as well as you do, but two heads and all that. Plus, if he needs his ass kicked, I'm more suited. I've done it before, and I can do it again."

"Thank you! He told me you knew, but it's nice to have it out in the open." Eijun smiled at his senpai. "He's a hardhead sometimes, but I think I can handle it." His grin softened into something tender, affectionate.

Well, that answers that. Kuramochi thought. I'm not worried about Eijun's feelings anymore. Now if they'd only get with it and realize it for themselves…"See you later, Sawamura!"

Eijun waved as he wandered over to the other first years, wondering where he was going to find Kazuya. I want to see him. I want to talk to him. I want…The others were leaving the clubroom, discussing the proper amount of rest Furuya needed. On their way down the hallway, the trio was stopped by Kodu and Higashio, who wanted to talk to Furuya. "What did you do to your foot? When did you hurt it?"

Furuya, irritated that anyone noticed, told them it was nothing, that he'd hurt it during the fifth inning, and he expected it to be better in the morning.

"If it isn't, I'm telling the general so he can take you to the doctor!" Eijun proclaimed loudly.

They split up for the evening shortly afterwards, headed for bed or further practice.

Eijun walked down the dorm hallway, lost in thought. I wonder where he would be? Dinner's over, he's not much of a runner…maybe the practice building? He was so deep in thought that he did not even hear the door open beside him, nor did he see the hand that reached out and grabbed his wrist. With a muted yelp, he was pulled forcefully into a room. Behind him, the door closed. Spinning, he saw Kazuya leaning against said door, grinning.

"Good evening, Eijun. Looking for someone?"

"Kazuya! You scared me! I was looking for you, though." It finally dawned on Eijun that they were in Kazuya's room. "Where is everybody? I figured that they'd all have invaded by now."

"Naw, they're kind of avoiding me right now. Actually, it is more as if they are avoiding both of us. When mom and dad fight, the kids don't want to take a side." He shrugged.

"Are you ok?" Eijun stepped closer to his friend, still leaning against the door.

Kazuya stood up straight and moved into the middle of the room. "I'm fine, it's a little irritating, but I'll get it worked out this week."

"Kuramochi-senpai and I were talking earlier. He told me that the senpai used to argue a lot when they first became the team leaders, and that the arguing and resolving the issues is what makes a strong team. I think if you don't have disagreements, you can't get stronger. No one feels as invested in something as those who have some kind of stake in it, especially an emotional one."

Kazuya chuckled. "Again with the surprises, Eijun. I didn't expect you to have such a philosophical grasp on group dynamics."

"Do you enjoy mocking me? I am really not that dumb, you know. One day you're going to admit that. Then I'll probably get hit by some random car or baseball or something because I'm frozen in shock and then I'll die."

"Well." Kazuya was having a hard time not laughing at Eijun's disgruntled look. "We wouldn't want that to happen, would we? So, let's make sure of it." He stepped in front of Eijun and gently pushed his chin up, forcing Eijun to look in his eyes. "I know you're not dumb. You are occasionally an idiot, but that is not the same thing. You are smart, way smarter than most people give you credit for. Except me. So let's see if you can figure out this next bit." He lightly rubbed his thumb over Eijun's chin, and leaned in, his eyes on Eijun's. He watched in fascination as they slowly slid shut, as if the sun was slipping behind the horizon, its light temporarily eclipsed. His lips landed softly, unerringly on the younger boy's mouth. Their lips slotted together with a soft sigh and nothing in this world had ever felt more right, more natural. Eijun's hand moved up to caress Kazuya's face, sliding back into his hair, his other hand landing on the catcher's hip.

Pulling back a bit, breaking off the kiss, Kazuya moved his hand from Eijun's chin to the back of his neck. He watched his eyes open, the sunshine brightness radiating happiness and something else, something darker that reminded Kazuya of fleeting dreams in the night.

Kazuya waited silently for some kind of reaction, any kind of reaction. I don't think I misread this at all. Did I just ruin everything? Maybe I didn't think this through as thoroughly as I should have.

Eijun finally spoke. "It's about damned time." Kazuya was dumbstruck. What did he just say?

Grabbing the front of Kazuya's shirt, hand still in his hair, Eijun pulled Kazuya back down into another kiss. This one was not tentative; this time there was no uncertainty. This was a proper kiss, and it felt to them like coming home. This was where they both belonged.

Kazuya was unable to think, to process anything. All he could do was feel. Feel the hand in his hair, tenderly combing through the strands. Feel the short hairs on the back of Eijun's neck move as he played with them. Feel the hand at his waist, steadying him, giving him support. Feel the fabric under his fingertips as he rubbed Eijun's back. Feel the point where this all connected, feel Eijun's mouth on his, lips fitting together, tongues exploring. At some point, we will have to talk. But later, yes, after the kissing. Much later. Much, much later.

After what seemed like forever, they broke apart again. Arms and hands realigning, there were a few 'let me just's and 'hang onna sec's, and when everything was sorted out, they found themselves with Kazuya leaning against the wall, Eijun snuggled up to him. Arms around each other, they stood there in silence, at peace with the world and with each other. The quiet they enjoyed in this place was the same as it always was between them; they were still themselves, after all. The two best friends who learned to love baseball and each other when they were still too young to really understand either.

Eijun spoke first. "We should probably talk." I've let you take the lead in most of this relationship, but I think it's time for me to do some of the heavy lifting. I've got this part, Kazu, just be truthful and we'll be fine. I'm never going to leave you, whatever your truth may be.

"You're right, we should." Kazuya agreed, still a little dazed by what had transpired. He glanced at the bed. "Maybe this isn't the best place if we really want to talk, though." I am a bit lost here, Ei. You're going to have to help me out, I have the feeling that you've thought about this stuff more than I have. I do know one thing, though. I don't ever want to let you go.

Moving away to look at the clock, Eijun realized it was after eleven. "You're not wrong. We've been in here for two hours already. I could spend the rest of the night kissing you, but that's probably not the best idea…no, I take that back, it is definitely the best idea I've ever had. Probably not the smartest, though." Eijun grinned. "Are you thirsty? I'll treat you, Kazuya-senpai." He fluttered his eyelashes at Kazuya, trying his best to look like a shoujo heroine. Kazuya snorted, ignoring the appalling way his pulse jumped when Eijun turned those eyes his way.

"Who are you, and what did you do with Eijun?" Kazuya thumbed open the lock on the door and stepped out into the corridor.

Eijun followed, closing the door behind himself. "Oh, I'm still me. I've heard from a couple of people today that you're rubbing off on me, so maybe that's it? You're seeing what you look like to others." Eijun's brow wrinkled in confusion. "Or something like that."

Kazuya laughed softly, not wanting to disturb his sleeping neighbors. "Don't strain yourself trying to figure it out, Ei." Eijun laughed too, content with the world.

From: Me(miyukik )

To: Ei-chan(catch4me .jp)

Eijun-

Good morning!

You know, with all the other things that happened last night, we didn't discuss the game.

Your control has gotten so much better, I'm so happy about that.

You pitched exactly what I wanted, where I wanted it. That was amazing.

I could have killed Furuya during the first inning, deliberately throwing what I told him not to. Idiot. If Mei cannot do that and come out unscathed, what makes him think he can?

Don't you ever do that to me, Eijun, I will destroy you. Not really, but you know what I mean.

If you don't like my calls, you can shake them off and I will consider changing. If I still think it's a good call, you pitch my call, and if it turns out I was wrong, it's on me. If I'm right, you get the glory. That seems fair, right?

I'm sleepy this morning, and sitting through Literature is not helping. Who cares about dead poets, anyway?

This is the only class I can use my phone undetected in, though.

Something you don't know about me:

I won 'Best Catcher in Tokyo' during my last year in middle school. When they had the awards ceremony for the district, I didn't go. My father had to work, so I missed it. The coach got the trophy for me, I still have it somewhere. There's a box full of trophies in my room, it's probably in there.

I'd trade every single one of them, every single title or article written about me to have never left Nagano.

I resent those lost years so much, you have no idea.

Don't sleep too much in class; you might need to know that stuff some day.

See you soon.

-Kazuya.


	15. Interlude, with Talking

Eijun grabbed drinks, and they headed out towards the playing fields. Stopping before they got there, they settled under a group of trees by the path. The boys sat down against a tree, opened their drinks and collected their thoughts. Eijun broke the silence.

"So. Would you like to explain what brought that on? Clearly I'm not complaining, I just didn't expect it to happen yet. I thought that even if you did decide to pursue this, pursue us, it wouldn't be until after the Fall Tournament." _Let's get the basics out of the way first, lay the foundation for whatever it is that we will build._

"My original plan was to wait, honestly. It's only been a few days since I realized I thought of you as more than a friend. Even though I've always known I preferred boys, I'd never even had any idea that I saw you in that light. When it finally hit me, I figured that it could wait until after the tournament, when we had plenty of downtime to work out whatever is was that we have. Then I realized that I didn't want a relationship with you that started after the Fall Tournament was over, I didn't want the results of that to taint what we have, Ei. If we lose, I don't want you to think it's out of pity. If we win, I don't want you to think that winning was necessary for us to get together, that it is a requirement for this relationship. I want to be with you because you're Eijun. I want it. I want you. I saw my chance and I grabbed it. I didn't really plan for that to happen tonight, I just let it happen when it felt right. What about you? Are you ok with all of this?"

"What is it about 'About damned time.' that you don't understand? And you call _me_ an idiot." Eijun rolled his eyes.

"I need you to know something, Kazu. Before we start really talking, I need you to carve this in your brain, it's important: What we talk about, whatever we decide upon, _there is nothing wrong with any of it_. As long as we are happy with the decisions we make, it's nobody's business but our own. Please be as truthful as you can with me, I want to know what you're thinking, I _need_ to know what you are thinking. I know that's not always easy for you, but I believe it's vital for us, for this, to work. There are no wrong answers. If you don't know the answer, please tell me that, tell me that you need time to think, or whatever it is that you require. Don't worry about offending me, hurting my feelings, or somehow saying something that will make me change my mind about our relationship. _The worst thing you could possibly do to me is lie._ If you feel something I don't, that's not a bad thing. If I want something you're not comfortable with, we can wait until you are, or we can just forget about it. I'm not expecting anything out of this conversation but your truth.

"I told you about my panic attacks. What I didn't explain to you is that I spent a lot of time in therapy, working to figure myself out. I wanted to solve the mystery of those attacks, maybe figure out how to avoid them. I never really did, although I'm pretty sure I know what caused them to start, but that's not important right now. What is, what I want you to know about me is this: I understand myself a lot better than most kids our age, and it's all due to the therapy. I know what my most basic truths are, and what my feelings are about lots of things, and I know how to figure them out when they change. So whatever you're thinking, whatever you're feeling, it's ok. You can tell me, that's what I'm here for.

"You know how I said that I came here for you? I meant that literally. Even if you weren't playing baseball, I still would have come. When you left, there was an empty space in my world that I couldn't fill, no matter how hard I tried. And did I ever try. Once I found you again, I _could not_ bear to lose you again. _I refused_. I could see that something changed for you, that you had walled yourself off from everything, and I wanted to help, wanted you happy. I wanted you back in my life. I _needed_ you back in my life. I came here for you, Kazu, you and you alone. The baseball is great, and it's amazing we can be baseball idiots together, but the bottom line is this _: I've been in love with you since I was five._ I'm pretty sure that's never going to change. So, if you want to know what it is that I want, it's _you_. I want you. Period. No qualifiers. So am I good with this? Yes, _very yes."_

Kazuya sat, processing everything that Eijun had just said. _He's always loved me? I...why didn't he say something? Would I have believed him if he had? Probably not. Does he mean it now? I'm not sure; I don't know if anyone can love me, I'm not very lovable._

Kazuya shifted and met truth with truth, it was the only thing he could do. "Before we discuss anything else, I have something I want to tell you. I know now that I felt the same way you did when I was forced to leave. The hole that was where you belonged was so large, so empty. I didn't know what to do about it, so I ignored it, learned to pretend it wasn't there. Between my father never being around and losing you, I felt like I didn't have anything, couldn't trust anything except things that couldn't leave me. That meant baseball. I threw myself into practice, becoming the best I could be, and I saved myself by building the thickest, iciest walls I could, wielding my ability to read people like a weapon. My nasty reputation is well deserved.

"I thought I'd gotten myself to the place where nothing really mattered, nothing could get through those walls. I was safe in my fortress, safe in my prison, and I didn't need anyone; I had baseball, and that was going to be enough. Then you charged back into my life, all full of fire and ferocity. I remember the night after you visited. I was not only surprised that I'd seen you, but I was absolutely shocked to find out that I still cared about you, that you still mattered to me. The Eijun-shaped hole had never truly been filled, I discovered, just iced over, waiting for you to reclaim it.

"When you came to Seido, I decided that you were better off without me. Don't give me that look, it's the truth. I still think that. I have a nasty disposition and a tongue that can slice you to pieces before you even realize you're bleeding. Anyway, that's why I didn't seek you out. I thought you'd forget about me after a while, that the Kazuya you knew as a child would fade to a pleasant memory, and I thought that was better for you. Ice puts out fires, and I didn't want to damage you. Also, I was scared to _death_ to let you back in only to lose you when you figured out what a terrible person I am. But after Inashiro, you were so broken that I _could not_ leave you like that, I had to help. I was terrified that I would do more damage; I knew that the reason you were broken was mostly my fault, you see, and I didn't know how to fix it. That's why I emailed you instead of coming to talk to you. I figured my cutting tongue would not be able to slice you through email, that I could edit out the worst of my bad behavior, and maybe I could help you rather than hinder. Then the yips happened, and that was devastating for both of us. I really thought I was going to lose you then, lose you again, and I couldn't bear it. I chased you down and you were so broken, so sad that it broke me as well. So you see, my recent history with you has been full of _mind breaking_ errors in judgment and huge doses of fear. Is it any wonder that I think you're better off without me? Later on, though, after we talked the first time, I got less scared and I started to realize that I wasn't making things worse for you. Once I got over that fear, once we really started talking, I realized that as much as you initially needed me, _I need you_. Maybe more so. I need to see you, I need to know that you're good, to judge your wellbeing myself, not just take your word for it. You have fit yourself so neatly into my life again, I can't imagine ever going back to that icy emptiness. I think it would break me, permanently. I'm never going to be less of a manipulative bastard, but I do think I'm getting to be less caustic, less of an asshole. You're rubbing off on me as much as I'm changing you."

At some point while Kazuya was talking, Eijun had climbed into his lap, straddling his legs. He had his head on Kazuya's shoulder, and the catcher was playing with his hair. Forcing Eijun to sit up straight, he looked him in the eye. Eijun wasn't crying, but his eyes were suspiciously moist.

"One more thing I have to tell you. You are the only person in this world that has ever caused me to cry. Leaving you, finding you again, your brokenness earlier in the year, and now tonight. Nothing else. No fights, no beatings, no wins, no losses. No loneliness. Not my mother dying or my father essentially disappearing. Only you. It's only ever been you, Ei. I guess that was a big, blinking clue I should have noticed, but I didn't. I don't know where we're going with this, but I do know I'm in it for as long as you'll have me."

Eijun blinked, and the tears rolled down his face. Smiling as widely as he could, he leaned over and kissed the boy he loved so much, lips tasting of the tears they'd both shed.

"Thank you, Kazu. I think we've both changed in the years we were apart, but at the base of it, we're still who we were, Kazuya and Eijun, baseball idiots."

"So what do you think, do you want to tell anybody about us? I'm sure that Mochi and Haruichi will figure it out, if they haven't already. I'd imagine Mochi figured out how I felt about you before I did. He doesn't miss much, that one."

"Yeah, I think he figured out how I feel about you today, when we talked earlier. You do know about him and Ryou, right? Anyway, when Haruichi talked to me earlier, I told him our story and how I felt about you, and I was a little worried how he'd take it. He's the one who told me about them. I think his quote was, 'Have you seen Kuramochi-senpai and Aniki? They're so sweet together it's sickening.' or some such. I think he's seen things, I think they've scarred him. I don't want to think too much about those two together, it's scary. So, those two will want to know, if they don't already. I'm perfectly willing to shout it from the rooftops, to be honest, but I'm not the only one involved here."

"I don't mind people knowing, but I'm not sure I want to advertise it. Maybe we should just start acting more together, eating lunch and doing couple-y things like that. So that one day it will be just an accepted fact: 'The sky is blue, the grass is green, and Miyuki and Sawamura are together.' Not a big deal, if that makes sense. We can tell whomever you'd like, individually, I don't have any problems with that. We may want to hold off on the whole team confession thing until we've been together awhile, that way they can see that it hasn't messed with the team dynamic, and that I'm not favoring you more or anything. How's that?"

"Sounds good, with one exception. I want us to go on regular, off campus dates, Kazu, and I want to hold your hand. Maybe make out in the back of the theater. Win you stuffed animals at the fair, that kind of mushy couple thing. You ok with that?"

Kazuya grinned. "That sounds wonderful, as long as you let me win some for you as well. We'll just have to not wear our Seido jackets, so they won't see us coming." Eijun snorted, imagining the pile of stuffed animals they'd have to drag around.

"Ei, what about your parents? My dad doesn't know I'm gay, but I can't imagine he cares in the slightest. Your parents were always wonderful to me, and I'd hate to upset them."

"You would have probably upset them more if you _had_ turned me down. They know exactly why I came to Seido. They've known that I was in love with you since I figured it out myself when I was 13."

"I'm glad. I really like them. I guess we should make this official, though, so here goes." Kazuya sat up straight, straightened his glasses and cleared his throat.

"Sawamura Eijun, I like you. In fact, I think I may be in love with you. Would you go out with me?"

Eijun grinned. "Miyuki Kazuya. I've loved you since before I knew what love is. I would gladly go anywhere with you."

Kazuya pulled Eijun down into a kiss, sealing the deal. Apparently, the deal needed plenty of sealing, because they kissed under that tree for quite a while.

"At some point we should talk about sex and stuff, you know."

"We're still young, we have plenty of time. We've done enough talking for tonight, I think. We should probably head to bed; we still have school and practice tomorrow."

Eijun pulled out his phone. It was 1:30, and they did need to sleep soon. He noticed that he had a text message; he'd missed the notification earlier, understandably. He read the text and started laughing.

"What is it?"

"It's from Kuramochi-senpai. I told him this afternoon that if he ever wanted to have Ryou over to just text me and I would find somewhere else to be. Apparently, he moves fast. I'm currently homeless; can I sleep in your spare bed?" Kazuya chuckled.

"I'll do you one better. How about you sleep in my bed, with me? Just sleep. I'd like to have you near me, if you don't mind."

"I can't think of a single reason to refuse that offer. Do you have some pj's I can borrow?"


	16. How Very High School of You

**_Note: I had no idea I hadn't posted any more of this, I'm sorry. I'm editing it, and will post as I do so-there should be many more chapters joining the ones already here. I have a bunch of side stories I want to add as well, I just need to figure out how to link them together._**

 ** _Thank you for reading._**

* * *

Monday morning, and the occupants of room 203 are stirring, the insistent alarm dragging them back into the world of the living. Suddenly the noise stopped. Eijun groaned, snuggling down into the comfort of his pillow. The pillow chuckled. _That's weird...but I've had stranger dreams, I must still be asleep._

Consciousness returned slowly, along with the memories of the night before. _Kazuya..._ He opened his eyes and realized _exactly_ why his pillow was chuckling—his head was resting on Kazuya's chest. His boyfriend _boyfriend!_ was awake, watching him gain consciousness. "Good morning, Ei." Kazuya smiled, smoothing Eijun's hair back from his face.

Eijun grinned sleepily at him, "Kazu." He closed his eyes, snuggling back down into the comfort of his friend. "Sleepy. Wanna sleep. You sleep too." He wrapped his arm around Kazuya's waist, settling in.

"I wish. Practice. We have to get up, Ei-chan." He shook his sleepy boyfriend. _I'd love to lie here all day, Ei..._ Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Eijun disentangled himself and sat up, rubbing his face. "I guess I should go back to my room and grab clean clothes." Leaning over, he kissed Kazuya. "Good morning to you, Kazu." He rested his head on the catcher's shoulder. Kazuya hugged him, nuzzled his hair, then let him go, giving him a little shove to get him moving.

Eijun stood up, groaning. Finding his clothes on the floor, he got dressed for his trek to his own room.

"Maybe you should bring some of your clothes up here." Kazuya suggested. "That way, when Mochi wants to have some privacy, you won't have to dash back the next day. Really, you can sleep here whenever you would like to. You don't have to wait for Mochi, Ei." He smirked. "I'm good with you here every night, to be honest."

Eijun grinned. "That might not be the smartest thing to do if I ever want to pass my classes, you're too distracting. But I will bring some clothes, that _is_ a good idea." Kissing Kazuya, he headed towards the door. "See you at practice, Kazuya-senpai! You'd better catch my pitches, you tanuki bastard!"

As he reached for the doorknob, a hand wrapped around his wrist. Kazuya spun him around and grabbed him, holding him tightly. Eijun relaxed into the hug, putting his arms around Kazuya's waist, nestling into the space between his neck and shoulder like it was there solely for his use.

"I'm sorry." Kazuya said, softly. Eijun hummed questioningly. "I'm sorry for not being able to treat you like I want to outside of this room. I'm scared that you're going to have second thoughts because of something I say or do. Please don't hate me."

Eijun pulled back a little, looking into the amber eyes he loved so well. "Kazu, don't. Don't be an idiot, that's my job. I love you for who you are—don't worry. We've been on this team together for six months or so, don't you think I've seen your bad side? Trust me, please. There's very little you could do to change my mind." Leaning over, he gave Kazuya a peck on the cheek. "I love you. I've gotta go before Kuramochi-senpai comes looking for me. I'll see you at practice, Kazu." Stepping around the boy, he grabbed the doorknob and slipped outside, closing the door carefully behind himself. He headed down the stairs, grinning.

Opening the door to his dorm room, he looked around. It was quiet; apparently, Kuramochi had already left for practice. Heaving a sigh of relief for having dodged the interrogation he knew he was going to receive, he quickly changed his clothes and got ready for practice. He was just tying his cleats when he heard a knock on the door.

Opening it, he found Kazuya on the other side. "I thought we could walk down together. Is that ok?"

"Of course! Yes, let's go." Stepping out of the door, he joined his captain and together they walked to practice.

After an uneventful (but lighter than normal) practice and breakfast, Kazuya was sitting in class, mind drifting.

"Hey, Miyuki! Do you know where my kohai spent the night? He didn't come home before I left this morning, so I didn't have a chance to grill him." Kuramochi sauntered up to his friend.

Kazuya smirked. "Why yes, yes I do." He replied. "He spent it with me."

"What did you do with Sawamura?" Kuramochi demanded.

"Why, nothing. Do you think I should?" Kazuya deadpanned. Kuramochi shook his head, disturbed. "I should have never let you watch that movie. You don't need any help being a twisted little shit. Seriously. What happened?"

"I could ask you the same question. Why did _you_ kick him out on his admittedly cute ass?" Kazuya snarked. _He'll get it out of me, but I'll be damned if he's not going to work for it._

Kuramochi blushed faintly and smiled. "I'm sure you already know, asshole. And thanks for taking him in. Now spill."

"Oh no, Mochi, thank _you_. It was _completely_ my pleasure." Kuramochi huffed, amused.

"You know and I know that you're going to tell me, so let's cut the crap, ok? Or would you rather I wrestle it out of Bakamura?"

Miyuki sighed, knowing that the game was over. _Ah, well, it was fun while it lasted._

"If you want to ask Sawamura, go ahead. I don't think you'll need to coerce anything from him." Kazuya shifted his gaze to Kuramochi's face. "Let's just put it this way. You knew something about me that I _just_ figured out. However, I did figure it out. And so did we." Kuramochi laughed.

"Kyahahahaha! It's about damned time!" He chortled.

"Funnily enough, that's _exactly_ what he said." Quipped Kazuya with a grin. "Apparently I'm occasionally slow. Who knew?"

"Ha! Seriously, though, I'm glad. But Miyuki, be careful, please. I know you don't trust easily, but you need to trust him. Not just within your relationship, but outside it as well. He's not a little boy, nor is he defenseless. Trust that he knows how to take care of himself. I've been living with him long enough to know he will not appreciate your over protectiveness." _When did I get to be the relationship guru? This is just weird. However, he needs to hear it, and there's no one else who knows to tell him._

"What makes you think I'm overprotective?" Kazuya asked, curious.

His friend snorted. "Have you seen the way you protect your pitchers? Add in the emotional stuff, and that's a recipe for disaster. You were about to _kill_ Ochiai, and that was before you guys were together. Just...trust him, ok? It's clear he trusts you."

"I do trust him. It's other people I don't trust." Kuramochi sighed. _Well, that went as well as I expected. Hopefully, at least the seed is planted and he'll remember this when he needs it._

"Anyway, be safe and all that stuff. Do you want me to keep it to myself?"

"Yeah, for now. I figure Haruichi will know, but the rest we're not sure of yet. We just kinda want to keep it quiet-ish. I don't want any accusations of favoritism or problems with the team dynamic."

"That's a good idea." They chatted for a while, talking about nothing in particular, until class started.

During lunch, the two boys gathered the rest of the second years for the traditional day-after trek to visit the third years.

"Congrats on making it into the quarterfinals! Too bad you have to miss the school trip! Bwaahahahahahaha!" Roared Jun.

Kuramochi pouted. "Why is that so funny?"

"And Inashiro lost? That's hard to believe…must have used up all their luck in the summer."

"There are no easy opponents left." Kazuya said. "That game yesterday was tough, and with Furuya out, we're going to have to work for it."

"We don't care, you'd better win, even if you die trying!" Jun shouted.

The senpai all agreed, saying that they were going to start attending the games and the practices, so the team had better work hard.

At practice, Nabe showed the team footage of Ouya, their next opponent. He discussed the pitcher, who has a forkball, and the batting lineup. Afterwards, Coach Kataoka announced that Furuya will probably be better by the weekend, but that he's going to hold him in reserve until the following weekend when both the semi-finals and the final will be played.

As the coach explained that Furuya is going to need time, Kazuya thinks _. I can't believe I missed that he was hurt, I thought he'd finally figured out how to pull back on his pitches…some leader I am. Good thing the others noticed, he'd have kept going without saying anything otherwise._

After the meeting, Kazuya walked up to Nabe, who was gathering up his papers. "Thank you, Nabe, for the excellent scouting report. Your analysis and data are perfect, exactly what we need to know. If you enjoy doing the scouting and analysis, please consider continuing to do it, it would be so helpful for us."

"Thanks, Miyuki, I'm glad to be of assistance!" Nabe replied, as they walked out the door to begin practice.

Everyone was in high spirits at practice, except for Furuya, who had to sit on a chair and pitch at the net. Kazuya noticed that Ochiai was hanging around the pitcher, probably filling his ears about how he wasn't that hurt, and that he could probably play this weekend. _That guy, I just don't trust that guy._

As practice wound down, Kazuya decided it was time to harass his favorite pitcher.

Walking up beside Eijun, he threw his arm over his shoulders. "Why if it isn't Bakamura. Aren't you going to nag me about catching for you today?"

"No way, Miyuki Kazuya!" Eijun declared, not _quite_ as heatedly as usual. "I've been pitching for the last two days; I need to rest my shoulder."

"Who are you, and what did you do with that loudmouth pitcher?" Kazuya snarked.

Eijun smacked him in the side. "With Furuya out, I have to be extra careful not to overdo it. What if I got hurt as well? That would be a disaster! That's why I'm taking it easy and plan to get plenty of sleep. You can't possibly understand how much pressure I'm under here!"

Behind him, the whole team groaned in unison.

Kazuya laughed, "Ok, ok. Let's get changed and go have dinner, shall we?" _One day, Eijun, I'll be so used to you surprising me that it will no longer be a surprise…_

Dinner was quiet; everyone was still tired from the long weekend. Kazuya and Eijun sat together at a table with the other first years and Kuramochi, legs touching, with their off hands linked between them underneath the table. The boys chattered softly, winding down for the evening. _Everyone seems pretty relaxed, I don't think I'll have to chase many of them out of the practice building tonight…I wonder if Eijun wants to come to my room later. I'll probably have a roomful, though; it seems like one of those quieter gathering evenings. Maybe we should watch something that will make people sleepy._

"Hey, Mochi," Kazuya said. "We should probably plan on setting up a movie in my room tonight. Nothing gory or too exciting, though. I want the team to relax so they can rest, not get wound up."

"That's a good idea. What about something like Howl's? Or Spirited Away? I have both of those; I'll bring some movies up with me."

Eijun squeezed Kazuya's hand before dropping it, standing to take his tray to the window. "I'm going to grab a bath before it gets too crowded in there." _Kazuya, I'll see you later, maybe we can spend some time together during the movie. I'd like to stay with you again tonight, I'll have to let Kuramochi know first._

"Good idea, Eijun. I'll join you." replied Haruichi. The table looked at the first year in surprise, but he'd already moved away from the group, face hidden. Eijun looked at Kazuya and Kuramochi, both of them shook their heads to indicate that they had no idea what was going on. The pitcher trotted off to catch up with the other boy.

Wandering towards the baths, Eijun could tell that there was something bothering his friend. "What's wrong, Harucchi? Do you want to sit down and talk, or shall we bathe first?"

"Let's bathe, maybe we can talk there. If not, we'll find someplace quiet. I need a minute to sort out my thoughts, something happened today and I don't quite know how to react."

Together, the boys went to the baths. Once inside, they cleaned themselves and then got into the tub to soak.

"Man, this feels good. I'm still sore from the weekend." Eijun sunk into the water to his chin.

Haruichi nodded his head, agreeing. They sat there just letting the heat soak into their bones, easing sore muscles.

"I actually have something I'd like to tell you, too." Eijun said."I haven't told anyone about this yet, but I wanted you to know. Remember that talk we had a few weeks ago? Well, Miyuki and I…last night we…anyway, it turns out it _is_ mutual. And now we're together. But, while we're not hiding it and would never deny it, we're not advertising it either, for now. We don't want to mess up the team with strange emotional stuff, and I don't want to burden him with having to prove that he's not favoring me. He won't, he's still that bastard tanuki, but how could you prove something like that? You can't, really, except in retrospect. So, say if in a few months we decide to tell, or someone figures it out, we can always point to _when_ we got together as proof that for that time period, there was no change in his behavior towards me." Eijun clapped his mouth shut and looked at Haruichi. _Babblebabble, sometimes I need to shut up. Working on that._

Haruichi smiled at the pitcher, eyes visible and smiling as well. "I'm happy for you, Eijun. That's the best news I've heard all day. I'll help you keep it quiet for as long as you'd like me to and I'm sure Kuramochi will help as well." _Note to self: Threaten Miyuki within an inch of his life if he hurts Eijun. I have my brother's reputation to maintain, after all._

"Ok, let me tell you what happened. I don't expect you to do anything about it; I just want to talk it out with you. I was swinging my bat, practicing. Coach Ochiai came up to me and told me that I lacked power, that no opposing team was afraid of me, or ever would be afraid of me. And that the reason for this was that I use a wooden bat. He also told me that he would not let me play as long as I refused to use an aluminum bat.

"Eijun, I picked up the wooden bat because my brother told me I couldn't possibly swing it, and I wanted to prove him wrong. I've been batting with one ever since. I like using it; I cannot imagine switching it out, it'd feel like I've betrayed myself or sold out or something. What do you think? Am I overreacting?"

Eijun thought, carefully. "Haruichi. I want you to listen to me, ok? _You are not overreacting_. There is nothing wrong with the way you're feeling. That guy's an asshole. He wants to make this team about nothing but Furuya, sacrificing everything and everybody else. Remember, he nearly broke my form on purpose, because he thought—and probably still thinks—that I'm of no use to the team and wanted me gone. You play best with the bat you're comfortable with, so just keep swinging that wooden bat and you'll be fine." _Grrrrrrr…Now I see why Kazuya hates that guy._

Haruichi smiled for the second time that night. "Thank you, Eijun. I didn't know whom else to talk to about this. I don't dare tell my brother; who knows what he'd do, but it _would not_ be good."

They both shivered in the warm water, imagining the wrath of Ryou.

After their baths, the boys walked over to Kazuya's room. As masterminded by Kazuya, the room was full of baseball players in various forms of relaxation, most well on the way to sleep. Looking up when the door opened, Kazuya stood up quickly and joined them outside. He smiled fondly at his boyfriend, relaxing his grip on his behavior, knowing that he'd most likely told Haruichi about the change in their relationship. "Hey. If you want to join in, Haruichi, go right in. Eijun, I'd like to talk to you if you don't mind."

"I think I'll head to bed, Miyuki-senpai, it's been a long day. But thank you. Good night, Eijun, I'll see you tomorrow." Haruichi moved off towards his room.

"Goodnight. Sleep well, Haruichi." Eijun answered his friend.

After Haruichi entered his room, Eijun turned to Kazuya. He grabbed his wrist and dragged him down the stairs to his own room. When he opened the door to Kazuya's room, he'd seen Kuramochi-senpai was watching the movie, so he knew they would have the room to themselves.

Closing the door, Eijun turned to Kazuya and softly smiled. "Hey, you." He said, quietly. Kazuya gently cupped Eijun's cheek. "Hi, beautiful." He leaned down to kiss his boyfriend. Meeting him halfway, Eijun sighed into his mouth, lips joining tenderly, easily as though they'd been shaped specifically for this use, for this person. Arms went around shoulders, around waists, clinging. They broke apart, and Eijun rested his forehead on Kazuya's.

"I missed you."

"I missed you." Kazuya replied, diving in for more kissing.

Eventually, they came up for air. "We should probably go elsewhere, who knows when Kuramochi-senpai will come back and I really don't want to have that conversation right now. Plus, I did want to speak with you about a few things, and we don't get much talking done when we're completely alone." Eijun spoke, nuzzling Kazuya's cheek. _I want to tell you about Haruichi, I want to just talk to you._

"You're right about that, we should work on the whole talking in private thing. It's dark now, so I'm sure we can find someplace to talk." Kazuya continued, "Ei, do you want to spend the night in mine again? I meant it when I said I'd love to have you. I don't remember the last time I slept so well."

"I'd like that, Kazu. Let me just grab some clothes and then we'll go. I'll text Kuramochi-senpai later so he doesn't come pounding on the door; I'm going to have to answer his questions eventually, but we just keep missing each other."

"He knows you were with me last night, and he knows we're together, so don't worry too much, Ei. But, we're going to have to get to bed at an earlier hour tonight, I'm really tired."

"Me too, Kazu. I'll get my clothes together and we can go."

"You don't need pj's, you can wear mine again. I like seeing you in my clothes." Kazuya smirked; Eijun blushed.

"Miyuki Kazuya!" The pitcher wailed.

"What? You said to be honest, and that's the honest truth. Geez." Kazuya smiled widely, without any malice. "Sorry if it embarrassed you, but it's still the truth."

"Tell you what." He continued. "I'll be the responsible senpai and buy you a drink, what do you say?" Eijun just laughed. Throwing the bag over his shoulder, he headed out the door.

They got drinks. Kazuya paid.

Wandering around the grounds, they settled on the bleachers overlooking the practice field. The boys sat as close as possible: legs touching, arms entwined, heads resting on shoulders. Voices low, they talked about their day, enjoying both the company and the cool of the evening. Kazuya told Eijun about the conversation he had with Kuramochi as well as what the senpai said; Eijun talked about the manga he was currently reading, and how hard it was to stay awake in class.

"Idiot, you need more sleep!" Kazuya fussed. Eijun was not impressed.

"You do too, Bakazuya! Anyway, I wanted to tell you something that I think you need to know, but that I don't think we can do anything about." Eijun shifted away a bit, just enough to sit up straight.

"Is it whatever was bugging Haruichi?"

"Yup. He said that…" Eijun told Kazuya the story. Kazuya fumed.

'That no-good fucking guy! I can't stand him, what is he even doing here? He's trying so hard to undermine the team and I'm still pissed off that he pulled that shit on you, tried so hard to break you."

"Kazu, I'm fine, I can handle him. He caught me at a weak point, and I didn't know he wasn't to be trusted. Now that I know both of these things, he can't get to me."

"I understand that you think that, but please stay away from him. He's a slimy snake who's slithering his way into this club, and I know you're his main target at this point, Ei. I can't risk coming that close to losing you again. I can't."

Eijun leaned over and kissed his boyfriend. "Thank you for caring about me, Kazu. I'm fine, I'll be fine. I'm not going to fall into that pit again, but if by some chance I do, I expect you to help me climb out, like you did last time."

Finishing his drink, Kazuya stood up. He helped Eijun up, keeping his hand. "Of course I will, but I won't let you fall that far. I'll be better next time."

Looking at his boyfriend, Eijun shook his head. "Miyuki Kazuya. Listen to me. _You are not responsible for my emotional well being_. I appreciate and need your support, but it is not your job to make sure I'm ok. That's my job. It _is_ your responsibility to talk to me, to be there for me when I need you. To love me. That's your job. I know that you are used to taking care of your pitchers, telling them what to do, protecting them from whatever you can. And within the realm of baseball, I'm good with that. But outside of that, _please don't_. I don't need that, don't want that from you." Kazuya combed his hand through Eijun's hair, playing with the strands.

"I get it, Ei. I'll try, really I will." He pulled Eijun closer, holding him snuggly against his body. _I won't let anyone hurt you, Eijun. I can't just watch, I have to protect you._

Eijun drew Kazuya in for a long kiss, tongues tangling, bodies melted against the other, hands roaming. They'd been at it for a while when Eijun's phone dinged. Reluctantly, he pulled away and checked it. Kuramochi.

 _Making out behind the bleachers? How very high school of you! I came out to find you but I figured you didn't want to be disturbed. The movie party's over, everybody has left. Is it safe to assume you're not going to be back in the room tonight? You guys need to be careful; you have practice tomorrow. If you're too sore to play properly, I'm going to kick both of your asses._

Eijun snorted, showing the phone to Kazuya. "What does he think we've been up to? Don't answer that, I know what he thinks we've been up to. But we've only been together for a day or so? Isn't a little early for that?"

"Who knows what's going on in his mind." Kazuya snarked. "But we should head to bed, get some sleep, and stop making out behind the bleachers. Which _is_ very high school."

"But Kazu, we are in high school. So we should be doing age-appropriate things, right?" Eijun asked in his best shota voice, batting his lashes at Kazuya.

Kazuya laughed. "You're not wrong there, Ei. But I doubt that is what the teachers mean when they say that."

Hand in hand, they headed back to Kazuya's room, and to the warmth that was waiting there for them.

 _From: Me(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: BastardKazuya(miyukik )_

 _Kazuya-_

 _I love you._

 _That's all I have to say right now._

 _I love you._

 _You're a manipulative bastard with walls the thickness of the Great Wall, but I love you. I'm so happy you decided to let me inside those walls._

 _I wish we could spend more time together, but we have so much to do before the weekend._

 _The game will be rough without Furuya. I do wish that I had some other weapon, something else that would help the team. I'm trying to figure something out._

 _What you don't know about me:_

 _Honestly, I can't think of anything._

 _How about this:_

 _I never stopped looking for you. Ever. I looked at the people passing me. I googled. I read the paper. I think I would have found you eventually, even if Rei hadn't brought me here._

 _Remember that article about you that was in Baseball Weekly? That showed up in my email notifications a month or so after I came to visit. I would have done whatever I could to come here, to come see you, as soon as I saw that._

 _I love you, Miyuki Kazuya. Not some fantasy I have in my mind, you. Just as you are._

 _-Eijun_


	17. Things Heat Up

_**This is where we zoom into mature territory. If that bothers you, I'm sorry. I'll try to warn on the chapters that are mature.**_

* * *

Wednesday morning, Kazuya was headed to class when he heard someone call his name. Turning, he saw Zono approaching.

"Hey, Miyuki! Good morning."

"Zono. How's it going?" Kazuya asked, curiously. Zono had not spoken to him in days.

"Do you have a minute?" Zono asked, "I'd like to talk to you."

"Sure thing—let's just step outside, ok?" Kazuya replied.

Outside, the cool of autumn had really settled in; it was mid-October and things were getting a little chilly. Kazuya huddled into his jacket a bit against the brisk morning air. Zono joined him in the sunshine.

"I want to apologize, Miyuki. I don't believe that what I said or think is wrong, I just went about expressing it the wrong way. I understand what your point of view is; while I may not completely agree, you're not wrong to think that way, either." Zono continued. "I'd like to help you, not make things harder. That's all."

"Thanks for that, Zono. I'd really like your help. I need to talk to Mochi about this as well, but I recently realized that there are a bunch of members that we don't even know. I was thinking maybe we could use a divide and conquer method and at least make contact, possibly become friendly with the rest of the team. We're down to 59 players, so there are 39 that are not on the first string. We all know some of them, but we don't know all of them. With the tournament, we're swamped—but that's going to be over in 2 weeks, no matter what the outcome. After then, we really should get to know the whole team."

"That's a good idea, Miyuki." Zono smiled. "Maybe we…Oh, hey Nabe!" Nabe walked up to the chatting boys.

"I'm glad I found you both here." He said. "I wanted to speak with you. I have the data on the Ouya batters you were asking for, Miyuki. Also, I want to apologize for any issues I may have caused. I like doing this analysis, I like helping the team. I'm not planning to quit, either. I hope you have a good day; please let me know if you have any questions about the information." He handed the papers to Kazuya, bowed to both of them and walked off.

Zono gawked. Kazuya smirked. "You set that up, didn't you, you sneaky bastard!" Zono growled.

Kazuya laughed. "No, no. This time I had nothing to do with it."

Zono glared in disbelief.

That afternoon, after practice, the coach talked to the team. "Furuya's foot is coming along nicely, but I'm still planning on having him rest this weekend. The starting pitcher on Saturday will be Sawamura. Dismissed."

Looking at Ochiai, Kazuya sees him smirk, like he's happy that Eijun's starting because he thinks it will end badly. Bastard. I don't know what you're up to, but you're not getting anywhere near Eijun again if I can help it…

That evening, Kazuya and Eijun grabbed their mitts and a ball and headed out to the practice field. Without any discussion, they fell into a game of catch, relaxing into the rhythm that's ingrained in their bodies and their hearts. Eventually they started talking. Kazuya told Eijun about his talk with Zono, and what Nabe said. They had a good chuckle over the timing, which was entirely coincidental. Eijun mentioned that they only have three more wins until Koshien.

"I wish I was stronger, better, Kazu. I want to be as strong as I can, fight as hard as possible. I want to win. Not just for the coach, not just for the team. I want to win for me; I want to win for us. I never want to feel like I let my team down again. I'm going to work as hard as I can to figure out something else I can use to fight with."

Kazuya walked over to his boyfriend. Pulling Eijun in for a hug, he pressed their foreheads together. "I know, I know. We'll do this, together. You can only fight with what you have, and what you have is enough for us to win. Don't strain yourself; the game is only a couple of days away. I'm not saying don't stop thinking or trying, you should just…be careful, Ei. Make sure you're in good form, not overtired or worn out. That's all."

"I know all that. I'm just a little bit—not scared, what's that word? Oh, yeah. Trepidatious." Eijun rested his head on Kazuya's shoulder.

Kazuya snorted. "What big words from a little brain. Where did you even learn that word? Do you have a word of the day calendar?" Eijun pinched his waist.

"Asshole. You have such a shitty personality, why do I like you again?" He whined, rubbing the spot he'd just pinched.

Kazuya chuckled. "I really have no idea. All I know is that I'm luckier than I'd ever thought I could possibly be." He rubbed Eijun's back. "Really though, there's no reason to be concerned. Just do the best you can, and what happens, happens. As long as we play to the utmost of our ability, no one can fault us." He lifted Eijun's face and kissed him, hard. "It's getting chilly out here. Do you want to go back to my room? It's late enough that I don't think anyone's going to be coming around." Eijun nodded.

Hand in hand, they walked back to the dorms.

Closing and locking the door, Kazuya turned. Eijun dropped their gear in the corner, and walked back to his boyfriend. Putting his arms around Kazuya's neck, he pulled him down into a kiss. Kazuya responded, placing his hands on Eijun's hips and pulling him closer, until they were pressed against each other. His arms moved all the way around, and he rubbed at his back. The tee shirt Eijun had on rode up a bit, and Kazuya's hand touched his skin. Eijun froze for a second, and then he relaxed, moaning into Kazuya's mouth. Kazuya moved his hand back up, unsure. I don't want to do anything he's not ready for…but his skin felt amazing.

Eijun broke off the kiss, and pulled away a bit. "Why did you stop?"

"I didn't want to—we haven't talked about this, and I don't want to presume anything." Kazuya replied.

"Oh! That's right, we haven't. Thank you for asking. For the record, I liked it. Feel free to touch me as much as you want."

"Thanks. The same goes for me." They smiled at each other, in synch as usual. I love you so much…

Kazuya resumed kissing Eijun, moving his hands to the bottom of his shirt, lifting it out of the way for freer access. Eijun moved in closer, exploring Kazuya as well, running his hands along his spine, rubbing at the dip in his waist. Pulling his mouth away from Kazuya's, Eijun kissed and nibbled his way along his jaw, touching his tongue to flesh, basking in the tang of salt and the taste of skin. Kazuya groaned, his hands touching, feeling, engulfed in sensation. Leaning his head back against the door, he allowed his boyfriend access to his neck, relishing the touch of lips and the feeling of tongue on his skin.

Making his way up Kazuya's neck, he nibbled on his earlobe, and whispered, "Maybe we should move someplace more comfortable." nodding at the bed. Kazuya agreed, and they started to make their way across the room without separating. It took some time, but they managed.

Reaching the side of the bed, Kazuya tugged at the hem of Eijun's shirt. "Off?" he queried. Eijun nodded eagerly. He stripped off the pitcher's shirt, and then his own. Pressing their bodies together, they reveled in the sensation of flesh on flesh, their hearts racing and their hands touching every available inch of skin.

Eijun pushed Kazuya down onto the bed, and climbed on top of him.

Warm eyes, calloused hands gliding gently along skin…

They kissed, hands roaming, fingers tangling, touching, learning.

The slide of lips and touch of tongue…

Together they moved, Eijun now on the bottom, Kazuya kissing, licking, nipping along his neck, down his clavicle, nibbling on the exposed collarbone. Running his hands along his sides, catching at the dip in his hips. Eijun was lost in the sensation, abandoning all thought, just feeling, touching what he could reach, kissing anything within range. Shoulders, neck, ears, hands. Lips and tongue and hands worshiping this boy who he'd loved for so long.

Muted murmurs and low laughter echoing in the small space.

Kazuya's hands continued to wander, dipping inside the waistband of Eijun's sweatpants. Eijun gasped out a moan against his neck, moving his mouth to his ear, whispering, "Yes, please."

Kazuya laughed softly, happily. "Of course, beautiful. Anything you want. I want it too." His hand slid slowly into Eijun's pants, caressing his hips, touching, exploring. Bringing his own hands down Kazuya's back, Eijun ran his fingers under the waistband of his pants, feeling his back muscles roll, skin smooth, discovering the dimples on either side of his spine.

Limbs tangled, breath mingling, heat…

Shifting his leg in between Eijun's, Kazuya moved to his side, just enough to give himself easy access. Eijun whined; the shift had put Kazuya's ass out of reach. Eijun's hand moved to his boy's waist, sliding under the band, mapping out the contours of his hipbones. His other hand wrapped around Kazuya's neck, pulling him in for a long, heated kiss. Hands still busy, moving, exploring. Kazuya's hand finally (finally!) slid into Eijun's boxers, and tentatively explored his length.

Reaching down, Eijun started to remove his own pants. Kazuya stopped him. "Let me do it." Pulling down his pants in one quick move (thank you, gods of sports and sweatpants), he worked them off Eijun's legs. Looking at his naked boyfriend, he marveled at the beauty in front of him. "You are so gorgeous, I swear."

He quickly pulled off his own pants, and Eijun grumbled a bit, "I wanted to do that!"

Kazuya huffed a laugh. "Of course you did. You'll get your chance; I doubt this will be the last time we do something like this."

Heat and motion, whispers and sighs...

Running his hands up Eijun's legs, he moved himself back on top. As Kazuya lowered himself down, their lengths rubbed together, sending jolts of heat and lust running up their spines. They moaned at the same time, moving involuntarily, trying to get more friction, generate more heat. Leaning over, Kazuya kissed Eijun softly. "This is amazing. I've never felt anything like this." He breathed into Eijun's mouth, words barely heard but understood nonetheless. Eijun murmured an agreement, mind hazy with sensations he's never allowed himself to consider, feeling every muscle shift that Kazuya made, running his hands up and down his back.

Languid caresses and liquid confessions, love and lust and heat…

They continue to undulate together, kissing and touching. Moving slowly, enjoying the sensation of their bodies being so close, the artificial veneer of clothing removed. Feeling as if they could stay here forever, that this is all that they'd ever need.

Heat building, lust clouding their minds, they moved ever closer to climax. Kazuya reached down between them, and grabbed both of their cocks in his hand, providing friction and forcing them closer together. Eijun moaned loudly, looking at his boyfriend. Gold eyes met brown, expressions of love and lust visible on both faces. Reaching down, Eijun wrapped his hand around them as well. Kazuya watched carefully as Eijun's eyes started to drift closed. "Look at me, Ei, please."

Eijun did as requested, bringing his hand up to cup Kazuya's cheek. "I adore you, Miyuki Kazuya. Always you." The words combined with the heat were Kazuya's undoing. Still looking into Eijun's eyes, he came. Everything went white, except for the gold at the center of his vision. Eijun. Kazuya's orgasm sent Eijun over, feelings and sensations all blending into one word. Kazuya.

Kazuya collapsed beside Eijun, head resting on his shoulder, arm slung across his chest. Eijun wrapped his arm around Kazuya, leaving the other one on his stomach.

"Wow. That was amazing. Are you ok?" Kazuya asked as he reached over to grab some tissues off the nightstand.

"More than ok, idiot. Why would you even ask that?" Eijun took the tissues and cleaned up the mess. Throwing them on the ground for later disposal, he wrapped both arms around his boy, bringing his head back down onto his chest. "I love you; that was so much more than I ever expected. Being with you is always wonderful, but that was beyond. You're so fucking gorgeous, I can't even tell you, Kazu."

"I love you too, Ei. You are the beautiful one—I'm just lucky to have you." Kazuya yawned. "I think I'm dead, you killed me."

"Sleep, then. We don't have to go anywhere tonight."

"You're right. Goodnight, Ei."

The following morning, Eijun was trying to figure out some way to improve his pitching. Maybe if I try it like this…or move my arm like that. He didn't realize that he was actually acting on his thoughts in the school hallway until he heard his name. Tanba, Ryousuke and Miyauchi were strolling down the hallway. "Senpai! I am glad to see you, it's been a while!"

"Not that long." Ryou said. "Anyway, you're making too much noise and blocking the hallway."

"Sorry!" Eijun bowed. "It won't happen again."

Tanba said, "So you're starting this weekend?" Eijun nodded. "Play well! We're going to be there watching."

Eijun shouted, "I will endeavor to do my best! Thank you for looking out for me!"

Chuckling, they set out down the hallway. Before they passed Eijun, Ryou stopped. "Thanks for the other day, I really appreciate it. I'm glad you've gotten things straight with that catcher of yours. Good luck this weekend." He continued on, catching up to the other third years, Eijun staring pensively at their retreating backs.

After practice, Kazuya walked with Nabe, discussing the upcoming match.

"I think they're going to be looking for a certain pitch." Nabe said. "But Sawamura's curve should throw them off."

"I agree. I'd like to set a fast pace, but I'm not sure how that would work. His curve has straightened out since he learned the four seam, but he has more speed. It's his accuracy that's going to be the key here, if he loses control we may be in trouble." Kazuya replies.

"But you called for that inside cutter." Nabe protested.

Kazuya smirked, "Honestly, I was at my wit's end and couldn't think of anything else that might work." And I knew Ei would manage it…

"Ah! So you admit it was all luck!" A voice came from behind them, Ochiai.

Kazuya jumped a bit. "Were you there all the time?"

"Even you see that we don't have a chance to go to Koshien. It will be all luck, not because we're good enough. In the end, the deciding factor will be Furuya. Don't you agree, captain?

"Every time we win, we get stronger." Kazuya insisted. "We just focus on the game at hand, and don't even think about losing." What are you saying, you bastard? The whole team's future is dependent on Furuya? Fuck that noise…

Suddenly they hear a voice coming out of the indoor training ground. "What do I lack, what can I do to be a better pitcher? I'm begging you Kanemaru, Toujou, help me with this."

They start listing all his faults, starting with 'Too much of an idiot' through 'too arrogant in class'; at which Eijun pleads with them. "I'm being serious right now!"

Kazuya strolls into the practice grounds and grins. "You can't change your pitching in two days, idiot. Look at it this way. They picked you to start, so there must be something in you that the coach wants to use in the upcoming game. You just have to fight with the weapons at your disposal, they're clearly good enough."

Eijun looks like he wants to argue, when Ochiai chimes in. "You can't just pat him on the head anymore; he lacks what he lacks, and now that he realizes it, there's no forgetting. What you lack, Sawamura, is a breaking ball. Miyuki, wouldn't he be easier to lead if you had a breaking ball at your disposal in addition to the fast balls?"

"Yes, but…" Kazuya started. What are you up to? We don't have time before the match for him to learn a new pitch…

"If you'd like, I'll teach you a breaking ball, Sawamura." Ochiai offered.

Kazuya fumed. There is no way you're getting anywhere near his pitching. He knows you don't care about him, and tried to break him once. He wouldn't give you the…wait, what?

"Sure, I'll try it! I'd like to learn a new pitch" Eijun agreed, cheerfully.

"You don't have time to learn a new pitch; the game is day after tomorrow. If trying something new messes with your form, we'll be in trouble."

"It won't; I'll be fine. And I'll have a new pitch if things work out. That would be awesome, right?"

"Sawamura, can I have a word with you, please?" Kazuya motioned for Eijun to follow him to the corner of the room.

"You can't be serious, Eijun. That guy wants to wreck you! He's as much said that he'd get rid of you any way he can. He only thinks they need Furuya."

"I am serious, Miyuki. I want to learn something that will help us win the game. If he can help me do so, I'm willing to try it. I need more tools, we need more weapons. Things are only going to get harder from here on out, and we need every advantage we can get."

"No, I refuse to let you do this. As your catcher, I forbid it." Kazuya spit out.

Eijun gaped at him in disbelief. "Miyuki Kazuya. You're not my boss. I told you I would be fine. If it were Furuya or Nori in my position, would you be hesitating like this? Think carefully, don't lie to me."

"It doesn't matter, you're not them. I don't want you doing this."

"You know what? Fuck this. I'm going to do it. I'm going to learn a new pitch. You can do whatever the hell you want, but I'm doing this. Understand one thing, though—if you couldn't tell, I'm furious with you."

Eijun stalked back towards Ochiai. 'What do I need to do?"

"Well, there are several types of breaking balls, including the slider and the curveball, but they'd take a while for you to learn. I think the easiest thing to teach you would be the change up." Ochiai explained.

"The change up? That's Narumiya's throw." Kanemaru interjected. "Only his acts like a screwball as well when it drops."

"That half-hearted ball?" Eijun asks. "So if I pitch it half-heartedly, it will be fine?"

Kanemaru rolls his eyes. "I can't even deal with you right now, Sawamura."

Ochiai goes on to explain the change up to Eijun, demonstrating the most popular grips.

Kazuya wandered back over to join the group. Eijun paid him absolutely no attention.

"Well, that's all I can tell you." Ochiai says. "It's up to you now. Why don't you practice it for a bit?"

"I'll catch for you," Miyuki insists.

"It's probably best he has an experienced catcher to catch for him in this. You can probably be of more help than I am at this point." Ochiai says.

Kazuya grabs a mitt.

"Ok, warm up a bit first, Sawamura." Are you really mad at me?

"Yes, captain." Yes, yes I am. I asked you to trust me. You don't.

They pitched for a bit, and then Eijun tried to pitch the change up, unsuccessfully.

After a time, Kazuya asked Toujou to show Eijun the pitch, in the hope that seeing it in action might help.

Kazuya watched Eijun closely as they continued to practice, monitoring his form and condition. I don't care if he hates me. If it seems like he's having issues, I'm shutting this down.

Just then, Ochiai spoke up. "You're not pitching in your usual way; you're standing up too much. Use your normal pitching form, just change the way you launch the ball and your grip."

Eijun tries again, and this time is successful. Everyone gets excited, except Ochiai.

"Well, that's probably a lucky shot." Ochiai says. Eijun pitches it again, exactly the same way.

"I guess the question is how low he can throw it," Ochiai says to Kazuya. "It's probably not good for much more than a diversion."

"It's still a pitch Ouya hasn't seen, so it will be helpful in that way at least." Kazuya replies. "By the way, did you teach him the change up knowing he'd get it?"

"Uh…yeah!" answered Ochiai.

"That was a really long pause. You had to think that hard about it, huh?" Kazuya answered. You bastard, you tried to break him again. Well, you failed this time too. In fact, you've lost your chance; he's gotten far too strong for you to break.

Eijun practiced that pitch for a while, getting it into his bones, and then switched grips, to the eagle grip, one he used in middle school. That pitch cut even more—sharply enough that Kazuya couldn't catch it at first. He tried other grips, experimenting. They all resulted in different breaks, different patterns. So is this the evolution of his moving ball?

After a while, they quit for the night, determined to work in the morning on figuring out which pitches will be usable in time for the game. Everyone packs up their equipment and heads out. Falling behind the others, Kazuya grabbed Eijun's wrist and started to head towards his room.

"No!" Eijun said, sharply. "I told you. I'm so mad at you right now. I don't even know how to speak to you."

"Then let's go find someplace we can yell at each other, because I'm not terribly happy with you, either." Kazuya snapped back.

Eijun just glared at him. "Ok, lead the way, captain."

Kuramochi leaned on the railing on the second floor of the dorm, watching the two storm off into the night. He'd heard from Kanemaru the gist of what happened, and could fill in the rest. Oh, Miyuki. You stuck your foot in it now, didn't you? I warned you, you poor sap. Hope you're prepared to get your grovel on.

They got out to the auxiliary field in record time, not speaking to each other at all.

Once there, Eijun turned on Kazuya. "What the hell, Kazuya? Why were your fucking trying to pull rank on me? As your catcher I forbid it...what the hell does that even mean? You don't own me. You're not my keeper or my master. Neither are you my mother, father, or any other guardian figure…I don't need you to protect me, I can do it myself. I've done it myself for years."

"Yeah? We saw how well that worked the last time Ochiai got his talons into you!" Kazuya shot back. "He's an asshole, and he's gunning for you! Why don't you understand that? Why is it wrong for me to want you to be safe?"

"He is an asshole, and we both know he wants me gone. But if it would give me an advantage going into a game, I'd take my chances with the devil himself. When will you see that I'm not that broken person with no self-confidence anymore? I'm so much stronger than I was, so much smarter. Plus, if it had been any other pitcher, you would have been happy to have them try, just not me. But this is all beside the point. The point is, you don't trust me. And that's why I'm furious."

"I do trust you! I do! I don't trust them, not with you. You're too important to me; I can't afford to lose you. I don't ever want to come as close as I did last time."

Eijun sighed. "Kazuya. Please listen to what I'm saying. You don't trust me to take care of myself; you don't think I can stand on my own two feet. I'm not some delicate flower that needs protection; I'm more like a weed with really strong roots. I told you the other day: I need you to love me. I need you to support me. I need you to be there for me. I don't need you to defend me. I don't need you to protect me, damn it! I need a partner, not a parent.

"It's ok to worry. It's ok for you to think I'm doing something stupid. It's even ok to tell me that you think I'm doing something stupid. It's not ok for you to try to force me to not do whatever it is that you think is stupid, it's not. God! Every time I think of that line…'as your catcher I forbid it' I just get more pissed. Mainly because I think you still don't get it."

"I guess maybe I don't. I mean, I understand what you're saying to me, but I still don't understand why it's bad for me to want to protect you, Eijun." Miyuki yelled.

"It's not bad for you to want to protect me. It's bad for you to act on those feelings without me asking for help first. I'm not sure if you know this, but I was just coming out of the bathroom this summer when Mei and the rest confronted you, telling you that you'd regret Seido, that you were wasting your time and would never amount to anything. I heard that all. I had to dig my nails into the palms of my hands to keep myself out of it. Why did I? Because I trusted you, I knew you could handle it. That's all I'm asking for, that you trust me in the same way."

"You heard all that?"

"You'd be amazed what first years discover in bathrooms. But, yeah, I heard it all. Ask yourself, what would you have done if the situation were reversed? You probably don't want to answer that aloud, it'll just piss me off more. "

Kazuya looked at his feet, unsure. "So what do we do now? Are we breaking up?"

"Are you fucking kidding me right now, Kazuya?" Eijun yelled, red faced. "I'm mad at you, yeah, but that doesn't mean I don't love you! Who the hell breaks up because they have a fight? In some way, this is all part of negotiating our relationship. We have to figure out what works for us, and you being an uninvited knight in shining armor does not work for me. Key word uninvited." Eijun rubbed his eyes. "I'm sorry, but I'm still too mad to talk to you. I'm going to my room to work on homework and then to bed. I'll see you tomorrow. I do love you, and I do want to be with you, but I'm just too pissed off to do so right now. Goodnight."

He stalked off to his room, leaving a bewildered Kazuya in his wake.

To: Idiot Miyuki(miyukik )

From: Me(kuramochiy )

Idiot Miyuki-

Well, you really fucked that up, didn't you? I warned you about that, I really did. I'm sure Bakamura did as well.

I'm thinking you still may not get it. Let me see if I can explain. It's the difference between thinking and doing, really. You think that he's in trouble, or whatever. And that's fine. You can even tell him so. That's fine. But the second you act on that thought is where the issue lies.

He was fine with you worrying, checking on him. What got to him was you pulling rank, doing whatever you could think of to get him to not do what he knew he could handle.

Try to let it process for a while. You're smart, you'll figure it out.

BTW, I may leave the door unlocked tonight.

Just be quiet. Please. Wake me up and someone dies.

-Mochi


	18. Interlude Part 2

_**Short Chapter- First person.**_

* * *

 _I can't sleep._

 _It's late, and I can't sleep._

 _My mind is churning, won't settle._

 _I miss you._

' _As your catcher, I forbid it.'_

' _Why is it wrong for me to want you to be safe?'_

' _I do trust you! I do! I don't trust them, not with you.'_

 _Kazu._

 _Why can't you see why that's wrong?_

 _Our time together has been wonderful—the last four days have been…wait, only four days, really?_

 _Getting to see the you that is only for me, getting to touch, taste, feel._

 _You're quickly becoming an addiction. I don't know if I'll ever get enough._

 _I miss you._

 _We've been sleeping together since Sunday; I feel like I've forgotten how to be alone._

 _I understand that you're just trying to make sure I'm safe._

 _But that's not your responsibility._

 _I know that this is as new to you as it is to me, and that you haven't had any close relationships in the past._

 _However, I also know that if I let you have your way in this you will end up smothering me._

 _I don't want that._

 _I want you._

 _I miss you._

 _This thing that is between us is so natural, so right; it seems strange that_ this _would be a problem._

 _I need to sleep._

 _I've got a new pitch. The change up needs some work, but I think it will help on Sunday._

 _Tomorrow is going to be busy._

 _I miss you._

 _Please, Kazu, please at least understand what I'm saying._

 _Even if you have a hard time doing it, have a hard time figuring out how to do it._

 _I'll help, I'll remind, I'll explain._

 _But it's up to you to understand, up to you to be willing to see._

 _I miss you._

The door opens and shuts, softly.

 _Good, Kuramochi-senpai must have left it unlocked as I asked._

Scooting over, I lift the covers, inviting him in.

Climbing into the bed, he snuggles up against me, head on my chest, arms tight around me.

"I couldn't sleep. I missed you." His voice is low, tentative.

"Me too." I replied, dropping a kiss on his forehead.

His arms tightened, I felt dampness soak my shirt. "I'm sorry. I get what you're trying to say. I don't know how to be like that, although I'm willing to try. Can you help me?"

"Oh, Kazu, of course. That's all I can ever ask of you. We'll figure it out together." I lifted his chin, kissing him gently. "I love you—just remember that, please? We can fight; it's bound to happen. That's not the end of us."

"I love you too, Ei. I'm scared—I don't know how to do this. I've never been in this position before. "

"Neither have I. That's why this is sometimes so difficult for both of us. We're learning how to communicate about important things, which isn't always easy. We'll figure it out." I run my hands through his hair, massaging his scalp. "In some ways our relationship is so natural that when we run into a problem, it seems harder than it should be.

"Kazu, we should sleep. We have practice in the morning, and we're going to be doing a lot of work. I need your help to perfect the change up; I want to be able to use it in the game this weekend."

He kissed me with a sigh of contentment. "You're right, we should. With all the other stuff, I forgot about the change up. It's amazing that you learned that so quickly, and that you're getting different drops from different grips. I'm so proud of you, Ei. I really am."

Settling down in my arms, I feel him drift off, joining him shortly after.

Omake

In the top bunk, Kuramochi smiled.

All was right in the world.


	19. Interval with Haruichi

(Earlier that evening)

Kazuya was confused. So very confused. Eijun had just stormed off, and Kazuya couldn't do anything but watch him go. _Well, he said he didn't want to break up, so I guess that's good. I still don't really understand what he's mad about, though. Let's get some coffee and work on homework. Maybe if I don't think too hard about it, it will make sense._

Walking back towards the dorms, he stopped at the vending machine to grab a drink. Footsteps sounded behind him, and he heard a voice. "Miyuki-senpai?" Haruichi.

Kazuya turned and greeted the boy. "Good evening, Haruichi. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing well, thank you. Do you have a minute?"

"Sure. Would you like a drink?" Kazuya offered.

"I've got it, but thank you." Haruichi grabbed a drink and sat down on the bench, Kazuya joining him.

"Miyuki-senpai, I wanted to talk to you about something that's important to me. I understand you and Eijun have come to some sort of agreement, am I correct?" Haruichi asked quietly, trying to be discreet.

Kazuya nodded. "I guess you could say so, yes." _At least we will if I can figure this out and if he ever talks to me again._

"Good, that's good. Do you know that he's in love with you?" Haruichi continued.

"Yes, I do. And I feel the same way." Kazuya recalled Eijun telling him he thought Haruichi would be worse than Ryou, and gets a little scared.

Haruichi looked at Kazuya dead on, both eyes staring intently through his bangs. "Do you know what I will do to you if you ever hurt him?" The catcher was no longer _just a little_ scared.

"Not exactly, but I'm sure I have a pretty good idea." Kazuya muttered. _No wonder you never see his eyes. Those things would put the fear of God in anybody with half a brain._ He shivered.

"Excellent." Haruichi continued, "Now please explain to me _exactly_ why it is that I saw Eijun run by earlier clearly very upset, but trying not to show it?"

Kazuya blanched.

"Well...He's mad at me. I don't really know why, I mean I know why, but I don't understand why that made him upset." Haruichi signed for him to continue. Kazuya sighed. _It can't hurt. Maybe he can help, he knows Ei._ "Did you hear about what happened in the training building this evening?" Haruichi nodded.

"I don't trust Ochiai. He tried to break Eijun before; I know he's still gunning for him. That's why, when he offered to teach him the change up, I told Eijun not to do it, not to risk it. I didn't want him to get hurt. But he got mad at me for that and I don't really understand why."

"I see. Let me ask you a few questions. Did you _tell_ him not to do it, or _ask_ him?"

"I told him. I really didn't want him to make himself vulnerable to that guy again."

"Did you ever ask him not to?"

"At first, but he _would not_ listen to me. I couldn't think of any other way to get him to not do it, so I forbid him." Kazuya said.

"Is that when he got mad?"

"That's what he said, that he was ok until I said ' _As your catcher, I forbid you.'_ "

Haruichi nodded, sighing. "Yes, I can see why he got upset. Let me see if I can help you to understand."

"I don't know how much he's told you about the time you were apart, so forgive me if you already know any of this. In some ways, losing you was as devastating to him as it was to you. You were the center of his world, and you were ripped from his side. When you moved, he survived by following exactly the opposite path as you. He made more friends, opening himself up to everyone, at least on the surface. But, underneath the veneer of cheer, he was not doing so well. He was determined to stand on his own two feet, to never depend on someone again...sound familiar?" He grinned at Kazuya, who was listening intently.

"Anyway, it was working for him, he was doing ok, and then the panic attacks started. He's told you about them, right? Good, you're going to need to be prepared—they can be scary. After those began, he felt helpless again, weak. That's why he threw himself into therapy, wanting to solve the attacks, or at least figuring out the cause of them. I think he did, but he's not told me what it was—I do have my suspicions, though. You may want to talk to him about them at some point, it may be important.

"Therapy got did give him one thing, knowledge. He has a really good understanding of himself—better than most people, let alone most sixteen-year-olds. That's one of the reasons he's so...energetic. He knows what he wants, and he's willing to work to get it. Combine that with the patience he learned from leading a team that was terrible, and he's pretty much a force to be reckoned with.

"Don't think I'm saying he's perfect, far from it. He's stubborn to the point of idiocy. And emotional brilliance does not mean he's intelligent. He's by no means as stupid as people think, but he's not brilliant. He's irrationally protective of his friends. He's easily baited, easily riled. He gets hyper focused and loses all sense of perspective. I'm sure you know most of this better than I do.

"Back to the story. So, he's basically clawed his way upright twice, rebuilding himself from the bottom up both times. He's determined to stand on his own and will not allow anyone to control him, even if it's for his own good. There have been so many things in his life that have been beyond his control and have ruined him that self-sufficiency is something he guards closely. You see what happened when he lost his pitch for a while, it nearly destroyed him.

"So, when you come in and tell him he can't do something he wants to do, he's not going to be happy about that, no matter what your motivation. Fortunately, he understands this about himself, and I'd bet he's tried to tell you as well."

Kazuya nodded. "He did, but he didn't explain—I didn't really understand."

"Not a big surprise, it's not something you're familiar with—you're an unapologetic control freak, your method of dealing with the loss of control was to manipulate and run the game, surrendering to no one. He's not trying to dominate the world like you; he's just trying to run his own life.

"If I'm not mistaken, this is your first real relationship and you're not sure of a lot of things, and worried about a bunch more. So let me guess; you two got into a bit of a screaming match, with ' _You're not my mother'_ and ' _I just want protect you'_ in some variation being flung around. And you wondered if he was going to break up with you, whether you asked him about it or not. If he's not already told you, let me reassure you. He's not. He loves you, the real you. Both the one who learned baseball with him and the one who is currently catching for him."

Kazuya blinked at him, dazed. "How do you know all of this? What has he told you?"

"He's told me the story of what happened with you when you were young, and about the panic attacks and therapy. The rest I've concluded through conversation and just paying attention. Also, after learning about your shared history, what I'd seen between you two made so much more sense. Thus, some of this might not be exactly right, but it should be mostly correct.

"I'd be surprised if Kuramochi doesn't already know much of this, he's really observant. He's probably figured out at least the part about his sense of independence. He didn't say anything to you?"

"He did." Kazuya admitted."But I didn't get it. I do now, but I'm unsure how to do what I need to do."

"Let's role-play, see if you can understand. I'll be Eijun.

"' _Kazuya, I've been invited by Ochiai to work on my pitches. He's going to teach me the slider.'_ What would your response be?"

"He's already come close to breaking your form once, he can't be trusted. Don't go." He responded immediately.

"Wrong answer." Kazuya groaned.

"Let me tell you what you should say: ' _Eijun, I'm not sure that's a good idea, you know he can't be trusted. Are you sure you'll be ok?'_ Asking if he's all right is always a good idea. Or perhaps ' _I'm concerned about what could happen, he's not to be trusted. I'll catch for you, alright?'_ Offer to come, offer to help, and offer to stick around. If he says no, then give him a kiss and walk away. You could follow that up with; ' _I'm worried that you're going to have trouble with him, please be careful. I'll be around. If you need me, call me._ '

"Do you see the difference? There were no demands, nothing but concern and support, even though you would essentially be saying the same thing as you did originally. That's what he needs, trust from you that you believe he's capable of making decisions, and the knowledge that you'll be there for him however he needs you to be. It's not going to be easy, you're a natural control freak, but he needs you to allow him to govern himself. However, he is incredibly patient, and if he sees you are trying, he'll allow you a lot of leeway."

Kazuya nodded, frowning a bit. "I see what you mean."

"Good. One more thing. If you allow him his freedom, he may just start allowing you to have more control, or asking you for help. Please be careful when that happens, it will be really easy for you to overstep, since controlling is your natural state." Haruichi warned.

"Thank you, Haruichi. You explained that well enough that even I could understand." Kazuya threw out his empty coffee can, standing.

Haruichi joined him. "You're welcome. Remember what I told you before. Eijun is important to me. Very important." He peeked through his bangs for just a second.

"Eijun was right about you." Kazuya said, shivering. Haruichi smirked.

"He often is, perhaps more than people think. What was he right about?" He queried.

"He told me that you had the potential to be scarier than your brother. I'm sorry I ever doubted him."

Haruichi laughed. "What's so scary about me? I'm just a first year with pink hair and a wooden bat. I'm harmless." Waving a hand, he walked away, headed for his room.

Kazuya went back to the dorms, thinking hard. _At least I understand the issue now. I'm not really sure how to do what I need to do, but maybe Ei will help._ He checked his email, finding the email from Mochi. After reading the last two lines, he grinned. _Homework. Homework is important. Let's get that done first. Then we'll see…_ He smiled, and for the first time since he'd stepped into the Training Facility that afternoon, he felt like things might be all right.


	20. In Which Eijun Pitches a Few Things

The next morning, Eijun woke up before his alarm. It was light, but barely, the sun slowly making its presence known. Looking at the boy asleep in his bed, asleep in his arms, he smiled. He looks so peaceful, so young when he's sleeping. It almost seems a sin to wake him. I need a run this morning, though, and I bet he could use one as well. Plus, we do need to talk. He gently kissed Kazuya, running his hand through his hair. Watching his eyes flutter open, he saw his boy go from asleep to aware, eyes sharpening. Kazuya looked at Eijun and smiled gently, sweetly.

"Good Morning, Ei." He murmured, aware that Kuramochi was asleep above them. Eijun grinned and leaned in for a kiss.

"Good Morning, Kazu. Did you sleep well?" Eijun replied, whispering as well. Kazuya nodded, kissing his boyfriend again. "I need a run, would you like to join me?"

Kazuya grinned. "If you don't mind. I think I could be better company than your tire." Eijun hissed at the catcher, low enough not to wake up his roommate.

"No one will ever replace my tire, Miyuki Kazuya!" Kazuya chuckled, kissing his outraged boy on the cheek. "I know, I know. The tire is your one true love."

Eijun stopped his sputtering completely. Cupping Kazuya's cheek in his hand and looking him in the eyes, he stared intently. "You're wrong, Kazu. You are my one true love."

Kazuya just...melts. Collapsing completely on Eijun, he whispers in his ear. "Damn you, Ei. You had to say that here, now, when I can't do anything. You're going to be the death of me. You know I adore you, you beautiful boy." Nipping his ear, Kazuya climbed out of the bed, quietly. "I'm going to go change to run, I'll meet you outside." Eijun nodded, getting out of bed and heading to grab running clothes. Stepping outside, he waited for Kazuya to join him. Inside the room, Kuramochi rolled over and sighed. It's Saturday, we don't have practice until the afternoon. Let the idiots run, I'm gonna sleep.

They met at the bottom of the stairs and headed out towards the playing fields. It was still quite early, the sun was just above the horizon and the air was crisp—perfect running weather. Walking together, they didn't speak, tacitly agreeing to talk while they ran. As they started to jog, Kazuya decided to start the conversation.

"You were right about Haruichi."

"Huh? Haruichi? How was I right about him?"

"He's scary. I can see him being worse than his brother." He smiled at Eijun's confused face. "He decided last night was a good time to let me know what would happen if I ever hurt you. What he failed to tell me at first was that he'd seen you heading to your room, upset. Seriously, Eijun, I saw both of his eyes." Kazuya shivered, Eijun snorted.

"What did he do to you?" Eijun asked, curious.

Kazuya rolled his eyes. "Not much, but I'm afraid he might do some serious damage if he ever thinks I really did anything to hurt you, especially if he decides I did it on purpose." They continued to jog around the track, just stretching muscles and warming up their bodies.

"He did do me a big favor, though. He actually took the time to explain what it was that I did, and why it bothered you so much. I was so confused, Eijun. He even resorted to role-play to help me to understand."

"Did he have to bring out sock puppets as well? Or maybe the feelings bear?" Eijun snarked at his boyfriend. Kazuya glared.

"Oh, so you got jokes, now, huh? Who are you and what did you do with my nice boyfriend? You're getting as bad as me."

Eijun grinned. "Thank you!"

"That's not…damn. Really? Now you're stealing my lines." Kazuya complained. Eijun knocked into him, laughing.

"True tell, Kazu. Haruichi didn't do you a favor; he did us a huge favor. I had no idea you were stuck on what I was trying to say, I thought you just didn't want to hear it. I guess I need to get better at explaining, and you need to work on telling me what it is you don't understand."

"Well, now that you know that I wasn't deliberately being an ass, Ei, maybe we can figure this one out. I will try, honestly, to rein back my overly protective actions. I can't say that I'll like doing that, or that I'll get it right all the time, especially at first, but I will work on it. I do need your help to know when I'm overstepping, I'm sure I won't see it."

Eijun stopped running. "Kazu, hang on a second, ok? I need to say something to you. I owe you an apology, I am really sorry I got so upset with you. I should have known better, I do know better. You were trying to protect me in the way you thought was right, and I overreacted. I should have apologized last night. That fight was not completely your fault, it was mine as well. So, I'm sorry, can you forgive me?"

Kazuya stepped closer to Eijun and pulled him close, burying his nose in his hair. Exhaling, he relaxed into the hug, feeling all the tension leave his body. "Thank you, Ei. Of course I forgive you, I can't think of much I wouldn't forgive you for at this point." Eijun pulled out of the hug, but not before pressing a kiss on his boyfriend's cheek.

Eyes twinkling, he turned around to continue the run. "Come on, Lazyuki, we've got laps to run!" Kazuya laughed lightly, catching up.

"Getting back to what we were talking about before we were so rudely interrupted," Eijun laughed, "I will do everything I can to let you know when I need you to back off. Maybe we need a safe word. Something that will catch your attention and tell you it's time to back off right now. Hopefully, we won't need it, but it might be good for those times you're feeling stubborn. I'll also promise you that I'll do my best to not get into situations where you'll feel the need to go into protective mode, and that I'll try to not get upset when you do, maybe even try to allow it to some degree. That might take a while, though."

"Thanks, Ei, I think that will work. I know I'm going to need lots of help; I'm not a manipulative control freak as a hobby, it's more like my default. Safe word, huh? Any ideas?"

"I'm not sure; we should pick something that's different, but not too weird. Just think on it, we can talk more about it later."

"Ok, then. Let's talk about the other thing that came out of that mess yesterday. I can't believe you learned the change up, Ei. You are incredible, you know that? I'm so proud of you, a breaking ball is the one pitch you've been missing. Plus the change in the break when you use different grips is astounding. I can't wait for us to figure out what will work for tomorrow and what needs more time. No one from Ouya will have seen it; they won't even know what hit them." Kazuya smirked.

Eijun chortled. "After breakfast, you're going to catch for me, Miyuki Kazuya. And we're going to get those pitches under control. Then we can show them to the General, he should be happy. Although we'll never know if he is, I've never seen any expression on his face, he's worse than Furuya. We should be able to at least get one of them ready, don't you think?" He asked, excited.

"I do think, Bakamura, that's my job. But I agree, we should be able to use at least one of them tomorrow. We're probably going to need it. These games are not getting easier, that's for sure.

"Have you run enough, Ei? We should probably get breakfast and then go practice."

"Sure, that sounds like a good idea. Hang on a second though." Eijun walked up to Kazuya. Putting his arms around his boy, he pulled him in for a kiss. Snuggling his head into Kazuya's neck, he said. "I just wanted some more Kazu before you have to be Miyuki again. I'm not unhappy with the way things are, I just…miss you sometimes." Kazuya tightened his arms around Eijun.

"I know, I'm in the same boat. I do wish things were different, but I also like having you to myself, having this thing between us that's private and just us. Just remember I love you. No matter what happens, I love you, Sawamura Eijun. Always have, and always will."

Eijun sniffled. "I love you too, Kazu." Reluctantly, he stepped away from Kazuya. "We should probably go for breakfast. The sooner we eat, the sooner you catch my pitches!"

"That's one way to look at it, I suppose." Kazuya grinned. "Let's go."

On the way to the cafeteria, Eijun watched Kazuya transform into Miyuki. It wasn't anything overt, it was in the way he carried his head, there was a certain distance in his eyes and stance combined with an omnipresent smirk that told anyone who looked that this was a person who was judging you, better than you, and willing to both tell you your faults and use them against you. Eijun found this transformation fascinating. It had taken him a few weeks to notice it, but once he did, he always watched it with awe.

"I can feel you staring at me. Why are you staring at me, Eijun?" Kazuya asked.

"I like to watch you transform, it's one of the most fascinating things I have ever seen. I wish I knew how to do it."

Kazuya grimaced. "No, you don't want to know how to be this. It's the result of all that stuff that happened after I left. The person you see when we're alone is the better me, the one who allows people to get close, the one I hid behind the walls I built to keep him safe. This is just the view of me that I'm willing to show the world, with all the walls firmly in place."

"Maybe one day you'll figure out a way to be both at the same time." Eijun suggested. "I love all the sides of you, Kazuya. They're all you, in the end." Kazuya shot him a small grin, opening the door to the cafeteria.

After a quick breakfast—they were the first ones in, everyone else seemed to be taking advantage of a rare morning off—the pair headed for the practice building, stopping long enough to pick up their gear. Eijun insisted that Kazuya bring all of his protection; there was no telling how these pitches would fly.

Suited up, they began practice. Kazuya directing Eijun through the pitches he knew well, checking him for any weakness or irregularity.

"Looking good, Sawamura!" Kazuya called. "Let's work on the change ups now. Start with the basic one."

Eijun pitched as requested, throwing the circle grip change up. Kazuya had him continue to throw like that, checking for control and accuracy, making adjustments where they could. After a dozen pitches, he moved Eijun on to the eagle claw grip, as that had seemed to be his favorite the afternoon before. "The basic change up looks good, let's see what you can do with this one." They continued to practice together, Kazuya leading Eijun through his repertoire of pitches.

Running through all the possible grips Eijun tried out the night before, they settled on the two initial grips as the most promising for use the next day, and began to work on refining them.

They practiced for an hour, trying a few different things, switching grips around and monitoring the spin, until they both felt fairly satisfied that they had those two pitches under control and usable for the next game.

Standing up, Kazuya took off his facemask, smirking at his pitcher. 'Sawamura, those are going to be very helpful tomorrow. I'm glad that you've figured them out, we'll show the coach during practice."

Eijun grinned back at him. "Aren't you glad I decided to give them a try?" He asked smugly.

"Don't get cocky, Bakamura. There's a long way between the bullpen and the mound." Kazuya responded, slinging his arm around Eijun's shoulders. "Let's go put this stuff away and grab some lunch. I should probably talk to Nabe as well; see if he has anything else for me about Ouya."

Side by side, they walked to the equipment shed to put away their gear. As soon as Eijun stepped into the shed, Kazuya closed the door behind them. Putting down the equipment, he turned, pressing Eijun against the door.

"Ohhh, making out in the equipment shed, Kazu? How very high school of you!" Eijun snarked, running his hands up Kazuya's arms and around his neck. Pulling him down, he slotted their mouths together, running his hands through Kazuya's hair. Eijun could feel the curve of Kazuya's lips as he laughed into the kiss, and his own lips responded, smiling in return. Kazuya rested his hands on Eijun's hips, drawing him closer, tongue licking at his smile.

Parting his lips, Eijun deepened the kiss with a moan, rubbing his hands under the collar of Kazuya's shirt, and around his back, hungry to touch skin. Pulling at his boy's shirt, he worked it loose from his pants, finally granted access to the bare expanse of his back. Eijun ran his hands under the hem of the shirt, rubbing, touching, stroking Kazuya's smooth flesh. Kazuya moaned, melting into the kiss, his hands making their way under Eijun's shirt as well. Together they explored, mapping out dips and muscles, memorizing spines and skin. Eventually, hands settled, splayed out across backs, just holding tightly. The kissing ended shortly thereafter, foreheads touched, pressed together.

Gold eyes met brown, glints of passion and echoes of lust reflected.

"Hey, you." Kazuya said.

Eijun responded. "Hello, Gorgeous."

Regretfully, slowly, Kazuya stepped back. Raising his hand, he stroked Eijun's cheek. "We should probably go eat lunch, Ei. We have practice at three. Sleep with me tonight? I'm surprisingly bad at sleeping alone recently, and it's your fault, Ei-chan. Time you took responsibility, don't you think?" He smiled at his boy.

Eijun chuckled. "Well, if you're going to put it that way, how can I refuse? I'd like nothing better, Kazu, although I think you already know that. Let's go eat, I'm starved." He grabbed Kazuya's hand and pressed it into his cheek, dropping a soft kiss in the palm. Together, they stepped out of the shed and into the daylight.

The cafeteria was full when they got there; the whole team seemed to be hungry at the same time. Grabbing trays, they got their food and looked for somewhere to sit. There were a couple of spots across from Kuramochi, so they joined him. Seeing them drop their trays on the table at the same time, he groaned. "Save me from the unison shit, ok? It's bad enough I have to know what you two are up to, I don't have to see it as well, do I?"

Kazuya smirked. "Don't be jealous, Mochi. I bet Sawamura here can find somewhere else to be tonight, if you'd like to have the room for yourself. We have a big game tomorrow, so you probably need your sleep, right?"

"Ohdeargodshootmenow. Seriously? You two were at each other's throats last night, and now look at you." Kuramochi groused." Plus, if you remember, you're both playing as well. You need to be in top shape, so be careful not to strain or stretch anything, got it?"

"The same goes for you, Kuramochi-senpai." Eijun joined the conversation. "So you may need to convince Onii-chan-senpai to switch hit as well as you do." Kuramochi choked on his drink, glaring at Kazuya.

"You're getting as bad as he is!" He hissed at Eijun, pointing at Kazuya.

"Thank you." replied Eijun with a cheerful grin. Kazuya by this time was laughing so hard that people were starting to stare.

"That wasn't a comp…Fuck. Now you're even stealing his lines." Kuramochi was outraged.

Kazuya had managed to gain some control, and spit out. "I know, right? That's exactly what I said."

Just then, Haruichi walked up to the table, carrying his lunch. "Is it alright if I sit here?" He asked.

"Of course, Haruichi, please join us!" Eijun trilled, smiling at his friend. Haruichi slid in next to Kuramochi.

"Good Afternoon, Kuramochi-senpai. How are you doing? Have you seen Onii-chan recently?" He asked innocently.

Kuramochi choked again. The other two looked at each other and snickered. Haruichi looked on, confused. "What's so funny?" He asked, a glint of an eye showing.

Kazuya shrunk back just a bit. Eijun touched his leg, comfortingly. "Nothing, we were just teasing Kuramochi-senpai about Onii-chan-senpai when you walked up, your timing was exquisite as always, Haruichi."

"More with the big words, Bakamura? You read a dictionary or something?" Kazuya snarked, with more fondness than sarcasm.

"Miyuki Kazuya, you bastard. Of course not!" Eijun declared. "I don't even own one!"

Kazuya smirked. Haruichi sighed. "Oh, Eijun."

Kuramochi roused himself enough to snark. "Of course you don't."

"What?" Eijun asked. "I have my phone, I have a computer. Why do I need a dictionary? I can look things up on line."

"Surprisingly, he's…not wrong." admitted Kazuya, the corners of his mouth quirked in a small smile.

At practice, the pitchers and catchers were in the bullpen, practicing. Except for Furuya, he was sitting on a chair, pouting. The coaches were making the rounds, checking out the condition of the team in preparation for the next game.

Kazuya got up from the crouch he was in and walked over to the coaches. "I'd like to show you something I think we could use in the game tomorrow. Do you have a few minutes?"

Coach Kataoka nodded, a curious glint coming from behind his glasses. The others paused in what they were doing to watch as well.

"Ok, Sawamura, let's have it!" Show them, Eijun, that you are a force to be reckoned with.

Eijun wound up and pitched the circle change up.

Coach Oota couldn't believe his eyes. "A change up? Really?"

"Ok, now the high-speed change up." Kazuya called.

"Sure thing!"

"H-h-high speed?" Oota stutters.

"It's really pretty close to his original pitch. He's able to throw it easily, since he's using the eagle grasp." Eijun pitched the other change up perfectly.

"Those are the only two that are ready; he's got some others that will need refinement. The trajectory changes when he changes his grip, so there may be some other helpful ones available."

Coach Kataoka turned to Ochiai and asked him. "Are you the one who taught Sawamura the change up?"

"Well he wanted to learn a breaking ball, so I gave him some advice. I was surprised as well that the break changed with each grasp. If he gets more of these pitches mastered, his value as a pitcher will need to be reassessed. For now, though, it's just a stopgap measure that was created yesterday." Ochiai explained. "Until we use it in a match, its value is unknown."

"Well, we'll use it tomorrow, see what happens. Miyuki, keep working with him. Sawamura, remember that you need to control all of your pitches, and that the value of breaking balls depends entirely on your straight fastballs, they need to be accurate to the corners of the zone. This is a good start; just don't get lazy or complacent. You have a long way to go still." Coach Kataoka reminded them.

"Yes, Sir."

"Yes, boss!"

After practice, Kazuya wandered over towards the third year's dorms, looking for Chris.

"Hello, Chris-senpai. Could I have a minute of your time?" He asked.

Chris smiled and acquiesced. "Of course, Miyuki. How can I help you?"

"I just wanted to pop by and ask if you were planning to go to the game tomorrow. It's got potential to be…interesting." Kazuya grinned. "Sawamura is starting, and if we can pull of the things we've been practicing, he may become on par with Furuya." I already think he's better, but I can't say I'm not biased.

"Really? That's some high praise coming from you." Chris responded. If what I hear from Ryou is true, you might be a little biased, don't you think? "I was planning to come anyway, I'll be watching for it. I hope Sawamura pulls it off—I think he's got more growth potential than any of the others."

"Thank you, Chris-senpai. I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing. Have a good afternoon."

The coach scheduled a last-minute team meeting for after dinner, so freshly bathed and fed, the boys slowly filtered into the team room. Coach Kataoka reiterated the lineup for the next day, and then turned the floor over to Nabe, who had a few last minute things to say about Ouya. The team sat around afterwards, discussing the upcoming game. Kazuya told them that the senpai were planning to attend, and everybody became even more determined to win.

After a bit, Eijun got up to return to the dorms. As he walked towards the door, he heard someone come up beside him, and a soft voice called his name. "Eijun, wait for me, please. I'd like to talk to you." Haruichi followed him outside.

"Sure thing, Haruichi. Do you want a drink? I'm getting one."

"No thank you, Eijun. I've got it." He bent over and retrieved both of their drinks from the machine.

Together, they walked to the bench and sat, drinking. The night was clear and cool, a perfect moon hanging in the sky.

"Eijun, I feel like I should apologize. I fear I overstepped my boundaries yesterday, and I don't want you to be upset with me." Haruichi said.

Eijun huffed out a laugh. "No way. You did me, I mean us, a huge favor last night. We were totally unable to figure out what the other was saying, and you helped so much with that. So, thank you."

Haruichi smiled. "You're welcome, Eijun. Sometimes people just need an explanation. But that's not really the part of the conversation I was talking about. I wasn't trying to imply that you couldn't take care of yourself as much as give him incentive to behave."

"Oh, that! Well, that's ok too. You did succeed in scaring him a bit. But that's fine with me, and I'm glad you have my back. I'm not offended." Reaching over, he patted his friend on the shoulder. "Thank you for looking out for me."

Haruichi stood up. "I'm glad to hear it. And for the record, I'm sure he's quite gone over you, so don't ever doubt that. Maybe try to cut him some slack, ok? I know he's trying his hardest to do what's right."

"You're right, as usual. I'll work on that."

"Goodnight, Eijun. Get some rest, tomorrow may be be tough."

Eijun waved his friend off, and leaned back on the bench, waiting. He sat there for a bit, just watching the moon and stars, thinking.

"What did I tell you about thinking too much? That's my job, idiot!" Eijun startled, having not heard Kazuya walk up.

"You tanuki! Quit sneaking up on people, you'll give them a heart attack!" Kazuya just smirked, chuckling under his breath at his boy.

Holding out his hand, he gestured to the playing field. "The lights are dim over there; you'll be able to see the stars better. Shall we?" Eijun nodded, allowing him to help him stand.

They strolled to the stairs that led to the fields, sitting down and facing away from the rest of the school.

"You're right, Kazu. They are more visible here."

"But they're not nearly as bright as they are in Nagano, Ei. That's one thing I really remember, us in the park in summer after dark, just lying in the grass watching the stars."

"That's true, they are brighter there, there's not nearly the light pollution that Tokyo provides. Hey, Kazu?"

"Yes?"

"I was thinking."

"Always dangerous."

"Shut it, you."

"Sorry—what did you want to ask me, Ei?"

"I was going to wait until after the tournament to ask you this, but I don't want to."

"Yes?"

"Would you like to spend the winter break with me? In Nagano?" Eijun carefully looked away from Kazuya, unsure how his offer will be received.

Kazuya was stunned. His hand crept out to grab Eijun's. "Are you sure you want me there?" his voice broke. "Would your family be ok with me intruding on the holiday?"

Eijun whipped his head around and saw the water in Kazuya's eyes. "Seriously? I know they'd be over the moon. I told you that they missed you, and that they knew how I felt about you. I don't want to be a week away from you if I can help it, either. You're always welcome at my house, Kazu. Don't you remember? I always thought my mom liked you better than me." Eijun carefully reached out and wrapped his arms around the shaken boy, bringing his head down to rest under his chin. Rubbing his fingers through his hair, he spoke. "Kazu, I don't know how else to say it. I've loved you since I was five. I lost you for four years. I don't want to be away from you any more than necessary. I would love to take you home with me, if you'd like to go."

Kazuya nodded his head. "I'd love to see your parents again, spend the holiday with you. I'd like to go back to Nagano, too. I miss it. I just don't want to be an imposition or a burden."

"Oh, geez. You'd never be a burden. Just…don't stress too much about it, ok? You're welcome, I know you are."

"I'll take your word for it. If you change your mind, or your parents don't want me there, you have to tell me. Promise me."

"I promise. But it's not going to happen, so don't even think that way."

Kazuya sat up and looked at his boyfriend. Leaning forward, he gently kissed him on the corner of his mouth. "We should get to bed, it's getting late."

Climbing to his feet, Eijun put out his hand to help Kazuya up. "Come on, gramps, time for bed."

"Gramps, really? Does that mean I get to smack you?"

"NO! But he might smack you when we go visit." Eijun laughed loudly.

Kazuya paused, looking stricken. "That's it, I'm not going."

Eijun poked him in the side. "Too late. You've already fallen into my trap! My vacation's going to be awesome with only half the smacks! Oh, and you can meet the team. And Wakana." Kazuya paled.

"Maybe I didn't think this one through…" He muttered.

They reach the dorms, and continue the journey to Kazuya's room in silence, Kazuya freaking out a bit.

Once they're inside, and the door is locked, Eijun hugged his boy. "Don't worry, I'm just kidding. If you don't want to meet them, we can go somewhere to talk and you can stay home. But I'd love for you to get to know them, they're good people. Wakana already knows about you, and has for a long time." Kazuya relaxed a little, glad for some leeway. "But I wasn't kidding about the smacks from Gramps. Although he may go easy on you, I don't know."

Kazuya snickered into Eijun's hair. "He might, I'm a guest after all."

"I wouldn't hold my breath, he's not that discriminating." Kazuya nodded, agreeing, remembering.

They got ready for bed. Cognizant of the need for sleep, they deliberately did not watching the other change. Once they were settled, they kissed for a while, careful touches and soothing murmurs punctuated by quiet sighs and low moans. Slowly, they inched towards sleep, secure in each other's arms.

To: Miyuki Kazuya(miyukik )

From: Sawamura Eitoku(esawamura )

Kazuya-

I'm not sure if you remember me well, but I'm Eijun's mother. Pardon me for any confusion over me using my father-in-law's email address, we all share one.

Eijun has informed me that he asked you to stay with us for the holidays. I just wanted to reach out and invite you myself, to assure you that you are more than welcome.

We were all thrilled when he decided to go to Seido, but were worried that he'd be there alone. I know he's not the shyest of boys, and I think he would have been fine eventually, but finding out you were there put our hearts at ease in many ways.

I'm sure you know by now what Eijun feels about you. He's never been terribly subtle, but he can be incredibly patient; I hope you can find it in yourself to be patient with him as well. Please allow me, as his mother, to say what I think you need to know. He needs you tremendously. After you moved, he was so lost for so long. He's worked hard to regain himself and I'm so proud of what he accomplished on his own. When he found you again, it was as if the last puzzle piece fell into place for him.

Sorry if it seems like I'm trying to guilt you into staying with him, or somehow blame you for what happened, neither of those are my intention. I know that if you were gone he'd be all right, eventually. He got there once, and he could again. With you, though, I think he is more than all right, he's good.

Please forgive the ramblings of an old woman. I want you to know that I've always loved you, and we really missed you when you moved. Also, please understand that you are always welcome in our house, with or without Eijun. We've always considered you our second son.

Please come home for the holidays, we all want you here.


	21. Midnight Confessions

_**This is nothing but smut. Feel free to skip.**_

* * *

Eijun woke slowly. He knew he was in Kazuya's bed. He was lying on his side, with his back against Kazuya's side, using his arm for a pillow. It was still dark, either early morning or late night. What he didn't know was why he'd woken up.

Behind him, he heard a low moan. He listened closely, wondering if Kazuya was having a nightmare, if that's what woke him. He heard it again, but this time there was a word in that moan…"Eijun." _What…oh. Oh!_ _Oooooohhhhhh!_ Rolling over, he settled his hand on Kazuya's chest, gently. They'd been sleeping shirtless recently, and the skin under his hand was smooth and warm. As he touched his boyfriend, Kazuya's breathing hitched and he let out a soft sigh. Languidly running his hands across his chest, feeling the muscles bunch under his fingertips, Eijun was captivated. Still half asleep, the sensation of that heated flesh was almost overwhelming, the breathy moans intoxicating.

Kazuya was dreaming. He had to be dreaming. This was, by far, the most vivid dream he'd ever had about Eijun. His hands on his chest, his breath warming his shoulder. He couldn't believe how hard just that touch was making him, how much he craved the heat of his boy. His Eijun. He heard his voice, soft and low. "Kazu…" That voice. In that tone. There was no way for him to resist.

Kazuya replied. "Kiss me, Ei."

"As you wish." He felt the warmth of Eijun's mouth on his, tongue requesting entrance. He parted his lips, allowing Eijun to deepen the kiss, tongue and lust and heat searing his mouth.

Blinking his eyes open, he realized that he was awake, and this was not a dream. _Amazing._ He lifted his arms to wrap them around Eijun's neck, bringing him in closer. Eijun broke the kiss, pulling back a bit. "Oh, so now you're awake."

"Evidently." he replied.

Eijun climbed on top of him. "Good." Smirking down at Kazuya, he breathed. "It's my turn…you woke me up, so I'm in charge. Lie back and enjoy the ride."

Kazuya considered disputing the 'you woke me up' assertion, but just then Eijun found a particularly sensitive spot on his neck, and any protest died unspoken.

Eijun kissed, licked and sucked his way down Kazuya's neck, while his hands continued to explore his torso. He nipped at his collarbone, biting, tasting. Eijun's thumbs grazed Kazuya's nipples, and he let out a loud moan. "Ooooh, you like that, huh?" continuing to play with the hardening buds. Kazuya groaned, squirming, seeking friction. Eijun ran his hands down his sides, soothing his boy.

Pushing up with his hands on the bed, Eijun sat up, moving back on Kazuya until he was sitting just below his hips. Kazuya ran his hands along Eijun's chest, smoothing over the dips, reaching for his nipples. Finding them, he gave them a tweak, causing Eijun to fall forward with a gasp, resting his arms on either side of Kazuya's shoulders. Lifting his head a bit, Kazuya found Eijun's nipple with his mouth, sucking and licking. Eijun leaned on his right arm, using his left to run his hand through Kazuya's hair, grabbing a handful and tugging him back. "Cheater. Behave, or I'll tie you down." His boyfriend's eyes flashed, looking intrigued. Eijun snorted. "Of course you would…not this time, but we _will_ explore that idea in depth later."

Eijun leaned down and kissed him deeply, sighing into his mouth. Breaking the kiss, Eijun returned to his earlier position, sliding down Kazuya's body until their lengths were aligned. He could feel Kazuya's hardness as they rubbed against each other, hips grinding, instinctively seeking friction. "Slow down, Kazu. There's really no hurry."

Returning his mouth to its explorations of Kazuya's chest, paying special attention to his nipples and the spot just under his ribs that was sensitive, he worked his way down, hands following, leading, exploring. Despite being under orders, Kazuya didn't stay still. His hands roamed freely, he touched everything he could, finally just tangling one of his hands in Eijun's hair, keeping it just taut enough to feel good without hurting.

Eijun continued his path down Kazuya's stomach, storing away every noise he could elicit. He dipped his tongue in his navel and gnawed on those hipbones. Smacking Kazuya on the side of the ass (which elicited another interesting look that Eijun filed away for future use), he had him raise his hips so he could strip off his pants, quickly divesting himself as well. There wasn't a lot of light in the room, just the moonlight that filtered between the blinds, but it was enough for Eijun. "You have no idea how very beautiful you are, do you?" he said, leaning up to give him a quick kiss. Kazuya's arms came up to trap him there, holding him in place, and Eijun indulged it for a while, savoring the press of flesh and the tangle of tongues.

Wriggling out of Kazuya's hold, he traveled back down his torso, to his hips. His hands wandered, exploring thighs and ass while his mouth mapped the contours of his pelvis, deciding that later he needed to spend much more time with those intriguing lines that cut down from his hips to his groin.

He propped his head up with one hand, and with the other reached out to gently caress Kazuya's hardness, reveling in the sounds he drew from him. He continued to stroke him softly, learning their differences and similarities. Figuring out what made Kazuya moan, what made him inhale, what made him whimper.

Raising himself up on one elbow, he looked at his boy for permission. Kazuya exhaled, a soft "You don't have to." Eijun just looked at him. Surrendering to his boyfriend's determination, Kazuya nodded. Eijun smiled. Lowering his mouth, he licked at the head, cleaning up the pre-cum that had been leaking for a while. It was salty, but didn't taste bad. Kazuya moaned, loudly.

Eijun continued to lick up his length, nibbling and sucking at the vein on the bottom and the ridges on the head. Reaching the top, he licked at his slit, taking the head into his mouth. Kazuya groaned, Sucking and licking, using his hand on the parts he couldn't get into his mouth, Eijun found himself rubbing himself on the bed, seeking friction. Rising onto his knees, not breaking contact with his mouth, he began to stroke himself.

Kazuya saw what he was doing, and pulled Eijun's mouth away, the suction breaking with a lewd pop. "Not like that. Let's do it together, but let me touch you for a bit first, catch you up."

"I'm really close too. Just let me do this, then." Eijun sat back on his heels, and slid his knees under Kazuya's thighs, moving forward until their lengths lined up. Grabbing them both in one hand, he started to stroke. Kazuya sat up, too, reaching down to help with the motion. Looking into those golden eyes, he couldn't look away. "This feels amazing, Ei. I fucking adore you, you know that?" Those words, and the look in his amber eyes, sent Eijun over the edge, his orgasm stronger than he'd ever experienced. The look in Eijun's eyes when he came caused Kazuya to come as well, orgasming just a few seconds later.

They collapsed together onto the bed, mess cooling on their stomachs, spent. Eijun reached over, grabbed some tissues out of the box, and cleaned them both up. Kazuya maneuvered onto his back, bringing Eijun's head to his shoulder, letting him use his arm as a pillow.

"Wow. That was just…wow." Kazuya said, kissing Eijun's forehead. "What brought that on?"

"You don't remember? I wasn't kidding when I said you woke me up. You were dreaming, and it was clearly a very…nice dream. You were being quite vocal about it, so I decided if I had to be awake for that, I was going to take advantage of the situation. So I did. Is there a problem?"

"I have never come so hard in my life. I have absolutely no complaints at all; I'm just sorry I interrupted your sleep."

"I'm not sorry for any of it, especially not for the loss of sleep. This was worth much more than that. I love you, Kazu."

"I feel the same way, Eijun. Now rest. We have a big game tomorrow, we should sleep." Eijun nodded, snuggling up close to Kazuya and closing his eyes.

Together, they drifted off, content.


	22. A Day in the Sun

_**Ok, the middle part of this is pretty smutty-skip to the end after the baseball game if you want to avoid it.**_

* * *

Kazuya woke to a kiss. "Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty!" Eijun grinned at him, snuggling into his warmth. "Good Morning, Kazu." Eijun hugged him before he hopped out of bed and started to look for clothes.

Kazuya groaned, burying his head in the pillow. "Uggh! Could you not be so cheerful, please?" he whined, sitting up, watching his energetic boy pulling on his sweats. "Mornings suck!"

"Apparently, so do I." Eijun deadpanned.

Kazuya opened his mouth to utter a denial when he stopped and gaped at the boy. "No you did not just say that!" he sputtered, shocked. "Sawamura Eijun, what the hell?"

Eijun laughed, gold eyes sparking. "You look like a fish! A shocked fish!" He continued to laugh, doubling over. Kazuya just watched him, unable to think of anything worth saying, finally spitting out, "You're ridiculous, you know that? Come here so I can kick your ass."

Eijun just laughed harder. "What are you going to do if I don't? You don't have any clothes on! You going to chase me around the room naked, you stupid tanuki?" Kazuya just continued to stare at him; appalled at both the conversation and the effect those laughing, golden _, gorgeous_ eyes were having on him.

"Wow, really, Ei-chan? That's the worst consequence you can imagine, me chasing you around with no clothes on? I can think of much better ways to punish you." he smirked, "But you were right about one thing, they all require you to be naked."

Eijun stopped laughing abruptly and just stared at Kazuya, eyes wide and glittering. Stepping over to the bed, he climbed into Kazuya's lap and draped his arms around his neck. "Miyuki Kazuya. You don't play fair at all, do you?" Leaning down, he kissed him, deep and long. Breaking the kiss, he sat up, leaving a slightly dazed looking Kazuya staring at him. "I'm going to hold you to that, you know. A promise is a promise." He climbed off of his lap and sauntered out of the room, throwing a heated glance over his shoulder as he walked out of the door. Kazuya fell back across the bed. _That beautiful boy is going to be the death of me, I swear_.

Knowing that he really did need to get up, Kazuya pulled on some clothes and wandered over to his desk, figuring it would be a good time to check his email. He found the email from Sawamura Eitoku, and remembered that he was Eijun's grandfather. He assumed Eijun had told them about the invitation he'd given Kazuya last night. _When did he even have time to text them? Well, at least I'll know that they don't want me, that I'm not welcome. It will break Eijun's heart, though. What will I do then?_ Opening the email, he read it. Then he read it again, more carefully, making sure he didn't miss anything. Sniffling a bit, he responded.

 _To: Sawamura Eitoku (esawamura )_

 _From: Miyuki Kazuya (miyukik )_

 _Sawamura-san;_

 _Thank you for inviting me._

 _Of course I remember you, you were the mother to me that mine was unable to be. I remember so much of my Nagano life spent at your house. You were always so kind to a brat with a big mouth. Please call me Kazuya, like you always did._

 _I want to tell you that I'm so glad Eijun found me. He's a wonderful boy who brings so much joy to those around him; in the short time he's been here, he's become the mood maker for the whole team. Plus, he's been working so hard to improve his pitching and he's gotten so much better than he was, adding several new pitches to his repertoire and gaining more control as well._

 _Sorry for that detour into captain-speak, I just wanted to reassure you that he's found his place on this team, in case he's as bad about communicating as I think he may be._

 _He's also found his place in my heart. I don't know if that's accurate, though. It's more like he's reclaimed his place in my heart; I've loved him for as long as I can remember._

 _I need to tell you some things, though; things that might make you change your mind about me visiting. If they do, I understand, truly. I didn't deal with the move from Nagano well. My father worked hard and long, having no time for a child who reminded him too much of what he'd lost. I played baseball, and played it well. But, I've gained a reputation for being sarcastic, manipulative and dictatorial. I can't deny any of it, it's all true. I forced myself to be that for so long that I don't know how else to be. So if you don't want me to visit, and think I might be a bad influence on Eijun, I will stay away._

 _Trust me, though, when I say that I will never do anything to intentionally harm Eijun. He's more important to me than you could know._

 _In closing, thank you again for the invitation, and please let me know if you'd rather I didn't come. If so, I'll figure out something to tell Eijun, please don't worry about it._

Kazuya got dressed and went downstairs to see if Eijun wanted some breakfast. Kuramochi answered the door, laughing at something over his shoulder. Peeking around his friend, Kazuya saw Eijun struggling with a shoestring that was tied in knots. "Kuramochi-senpai, why did you do this? Isn't it bad enough you tie _me_ in knots with your wrestling?" Kuramochi just chuckled more.

"That's what you get for not telling me you weren't going to be back last night."

"But I did, at lunch, remember? We had a conversation about switch hitting." Eijun retorted. Kazuya snorted, thinking about Mochi's red face. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

"Not good enough, Sawamura. Thus, knots in your shoes." Kuramochi smirked.

Eijun got them undone, and put the shoes on his feet, out of harm's way. Grabbing his phone, he went to meet Kazuya at the door. Leaning up, Eijun gave Kazuya a kiss and a hug, laughing at the chorus of gagging sounds behind him.

Smirking over his shoulder, Eijun snarked, "Jealousy is unbecoming in a senpai." and walked out the door, Kazuya following. Behind them they heard something that sounded suspiciously like a shoe hit the door, as well as some muffled laughter.

As they walked to the cafeteria, Eijun's phone beeped. He looked at it, and then looked at Kazuya. "What is it, Eijun?" Kazuya asked.

"It's a text, but it's for you." Eijun answered, looking puzzled. He handed the phone to Kazuya.

Stopping in the shade by the vending machines, Kazuya looked at the text. It was from Eijun's mother. It read: _'Eijun, please hand the phone to Kazuya and have him read the next text.'_

As Kazuya held the phone, the next text came through. _'Kazu-chan, please come home. We miss you.'_

Kazuya looked at Eijun, lost. Eijun grabbed his wrist and dragged him behind the practice building. "What's the matter? What happened?" He asked, worried.

Handing the phone back to Eijun, Kazuya replied, slowly, "You mom emailed me…it must have been last night, telling me that I was welcome to come. I answered her this morning, telling her about myself, telling her that I was not a good person, and it was ok if she didn't want me around, and this was her answer." He looked absolutely stunned. Eijun looked at the phone.

"Oh, geez, you had me worried there for a second." Eijun griped. "I told you, didn't I?"

Miyuki walked over to Eijun and just rested his head on his shoulder. "I don't know what it is about you Sawamuras, but you have a way of getting to me like no one else. I was so afraid, Ei, that she wouldn't want me around. I didn't know what I would do if she told you they didn't want you seeing me anymore."

"You need to have more faith, Kazu." Eijun wrapped his arms around his boy, cradling him loosely. "You need to believe that there are people who know you and who still love you. Will always love you. If my parents wanted us to break up, I would try to talk them around. But I wouldn't leave you over it; this is my life, not theirs."

"I'm just glad we don't have to face that situation, to be honest. I'd hate to come between you and your parents." Kazuya lifted up his head and enfolded Eijun in a hug. "You have no idea how worried I was about this. Not just because they're your parents, but because I have such wonderful memories of them." Drawing back a bit, he kissed Eijun, knowing that it was going to be a long day. As they broke the kiss, Kazuya saw movement out of the corner of his eye. _Hmmmm...things might get interesting..._ He didn't get a look at who it was that was there, but figured if it was someone important, they'd find out soon enough. He caressed Eijun's cheek, smiling at the boy. "You play well out there, Ei. I'll be behind you all the way."

Eijun grinned, eyes sparkling. "No, Bakayuki, I'll be following your lead, you're the boss on the field." He kissed him on the cheek, whispering in his ear. "I love you, Kazu, and will follow you anywhere."

At the stadium, Seido was the visiting team, so they're the first at bat. First inning, three up and three down, struck out by the Ouya pitcher who throws a nice forkball and shoot ball. There's no score when Eijun took the mound, and the coach told them to get into a rhythm before trying the change up. Eijun struck out the first two batters, and quickly got the third to a 1-2 count. At that point, Kazuya called for a change up, which failed miserably. Eijun was shaken and walked the batter. After a few fielding flubs and some psychological tricks by Ouya on Eijun, the inning finally ended with Seido down, 0-2.

In the dugout, waiting to either bat or return to the field, Kazuya was explaining to Eijun what Ouya did. "They know you tend to watch the runners closely, so they deliberately made noise and did whatever they could to throw you off your game, break your concentration." Kazuya smirked. "Not that you have much anyway, idiot, so you need all you can get. Try to ignore the runners, don't give them the satisfaction. Let me take care of them."

Eijun bristled, "Dammit, Miyuki! Why didn't you say something earlier?"

"Because I didn't want to throw you off more. If you started to think too much, things could have gotten much worse." Kazuya laughed. Eijun just bumped him with his arm, glaring. As they sat there watching the game, they locked their pinkies together, hidden in the shadows.

The game continued with no team able to do much of anything for the next three innings. Eijun was pitching steadily, solidly. His pitches were moving faster, and seem to be breaking on purpose now.

Top of the fifth inning, Seido scored a run. 1-2. Meanwhile, Kazuya and the coach conferred about something Nabe noticed about Ouya, a strategy Seido could possibly exploit in order to score during the next inning. Eijun was still pitching well, the Ouya batters couldn't seem to figure out his breaking ball.

Due to Nabe's observation that the Ouya team moves position a certain way every time there's a fastball called, Kuramochi and Shirasu both knew when one was coming and got on base. Haruichi was up, and he hit Kuramochi in. 2-2, tied game. Kazuya was walked, bases loaded. Zono hit Shirasu in, 3-2. Ouya figured out what it is that Seido's seen and used it to bait the remaining batters. Three outs, change. Eijun promised quite loudly and with much flowery language to defend the one run lead. Kuramochi kicked him, and Miyuki told him not to be an idiot and to just relax and pitch.

Bottom of the sixth inning, the Ouya batters started swinging aggressively, trying to get on base so they can disrupt Eijun. The lead off batter got a single and started taunting Eijun. Their catcher got on base as well, hitting a pitch that was just a little high. Kazuya wished he could use the change up, but played it safe. The cleanup was next, and Kazuya called for a time out, seeing that Eijun's starting to tense up because of the runners in the field.

The fielders tried to encourage him in the usual ways: Kuramochi kicked him, Zono complimented him, Haruichi supported him, and Kazuya told him what's going on and what the plan is. "Bottom of the sixth, 1 out, men on first and second. They're aiming for your middle fastballs. Let's start this with a low and outside, and finish with a change up. Can you handle that?"

"Of course, captain, I am always ready to carry out my-" Kuramochi kicks him again.

"Don't be an idiot, idiot."

The fielders walk back to position, and Kazuya leaned in to Eijun, muttering softly. "We've got this, Ei; you've been pitching really well. Keep it up." Eijun grinned. Patting him on the shoulder, he left the mound.

Doing exactly as he had said, Kazuya called for an outside pitch. Eijun threw it, and the batter got a piece of it, foul ball. Next ball, inside corner. Batter hit, fouled again. 0-2 count. Third pitch, high and inside, ball. 1-2 count. Next, Kazuya signed for a change up. Eijun was really feeling it, and pitched. Batter swung, strike three, perfect change up. Kazuya's ecstatic, so excited to have another pitch to fight with. They get the last batter out with three pitches. Change sides.

The Ouya players were surprised by the change up, but far from cowed. They struck out the first three Seido players quickly. Kazuya mentioned to Eijun that they're a tough team that won't easily be cowed, and that they needed to get the first batter out, stopping any momentum. Eijun looked at Miyuki fiercely, golden eyes blazing. "Yes, I want to get back out there, let's go!"

Kazuya smirked at the pitcher, and started to head out to the diamond. As he passed Eijun, he whispered in his ear. "Strike out the next three, and _I'll_ be the one sucking." He jogged out to the catcher's box, chuckling. Eijun froze, unable at first to process what he just heard. Then he just _looked_ over at Kazuya, focused and _intent_. Slowly a smile worked its way across his face. Kazuya's eyes widened, and he wondered if he had miscalculated, just a bit _. I'm not sure how well I'm going to be able to play if he keeps looking at me like that…_

Heading to the mound, Eijun was concentrating on getting the inning over, getting the three outs. Waiting for the first batter, he watched Kazuya carefully. Meeting his eyes, Eijun let everything he's feeling show, the determination to win, the love of the game, the wanting and lust and love for Kazuya. Rocked back a bit on his heels, Kazuya could do nothing but return the favor. He lowered his guard for a minute and just…put it all out there. His love for the pitcher, his happiness that they've found each other again, his joy at being on the field, his desire and longing for Eijun, everything. Eijun nodded, eyes still shining, and prepared to pitch whatever his catcher tells him to.

Three up, three down.

Kazuya thought that Eijun's never pitched better in his life. Eijun wasn't thinking about much of anything. Actually, he was thinking _too much_ about one thing. For the first time that he could remember, he wanted this game to be over.

The game continued. Haruichi scored—with his wooden bat—and both Eijun and Kazuya cheered loudly. Eijun didn't have any trouble with the last innings, pitching the entire game himself.

Final score, 6-2. Seido is in the semi-finals.

After the game, the team met up with the third years outside of the stadium. Chris congratulated Eijun, who's ecstatic to get praise from his mentor, while Tetsu talked to Kazuya, praising him for both his game play and the way he's captaining the team. After chatting for a while, the team headed back into the stadium to watch the next game; they will be playing the winners the following Saturday.

Kazuya hung in the back of the crowd, discreetly grabbing Eijun's belt loop to keep him back as well. As the team started to climb the stairs to the stands, Kazuya pulled Eijun into the deserted locker room.

Eijun grabbed Kazuya and pulled him down into a ravenous kiss that tasted of life and lust and _lust_ , hands roaming and warm, hard bodies clashing together. Kazuya met him head on, just as hungry to taste his sun, just as needy. He slammed Eijun up against the lockers, sound echoing around the room, mouths still locked together in a voracious dance, tongues plundering.

Running his hands down Kazuya's sides, Eijun moaned into his mouth, yanking at his shirt to get to the flesh underneath. Feeling the skin and the sweat, muscles flexing under his fingers, Kazuya moving closer, demanding more.

Kazuya broke the kiss, nipping along Eijun's jaw, murmuring, "You were so amazing out there, Ei. I couldn't keep my eyes of you." He continued to indulge his insatiable appetite, tasting the salt and skin, licking and biting on his neck, pulling his shirt off to gain access to his collarbones. "You were radiant and all those people were watching you. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hide you from them or fuck you right on the mound…or both." He sucked at Eijun's clavicle, leaving a mark.

Eijun groaned, surrendering to his boyfriend's assault. "Kazu, watching you from the mound is like nothing I've ever seen, and all I ever want to do. It was so hard to keep it together in the seventh inning, you asshole." He leaned his head against the lockers, hands combing through his boyfriend's hair, rubbing sensual circles into his scalp. Kazuya straightened up, smirking at Eijun.

"That's what you get for that remark this morning, idiot." He languidly ran his hand along Eijun's torso, tracing the lines of his ribs. "Between that and the kiss, you left me aching." He lowered his head and bit down gently on Eijun's lower lip, sucking it into his mouth and releasing it with a wet pop. His hands glided up Eijun's torso, unerringly finding his nipples. Flicking his thumbs over them, he swallowed Eijun's gasp with his lips.

Not to be outdone, Eijun broke the kiss, hands roaming and lips following. He leaned his head into Kazuya's shoulder, tongue and teeth finding skin to lick and nibble. "Fuck, Kazu. You feel amazing. I don't think I've ever been so hard for so long, I thought for sure someone would notice." Kazuya tasted of sweat and effort, salty and sweet and Kazuya. His hands swept down Kazuya's sides, landing on his hips. Eijun slid his thumbs under the waistband of his pants, exploring those dips that had intrigued him the night before.

Kazuya groaned out his name, unconsciously bucking into Eijun. Reaching down, he grazed his hand down the front of his pitcher's pants, feeling his hardness, tracing his length. Meeting Eijun's gaze, watching the lust and heat cause those gorgeous, sun-filled eyes to dilate and lose focus, he felt every bit of him falling more in love with this devastating creature. He smirked, predatorily. "Oh, Eijun. Someone did notice." His hand continued to work its way along Eijun's cock, the other hand starting to unfasten his pants. "Squatting while you're so fucking turned on is not easy. I really thought I'd flub something."

Lowering both the zipper and himself, Kazuya slid down onto the bench right behind him. He kissed Eijun's stomach, laving the muscles with his wicked tongue. Stripping Eijun's pants down, he released his cock from its restraints, drawing a groan of pleasure from the boy. He sat back for just a second, admiring the view. "You are so damned exquisite. I love looking at you this way, all hot and needy, just waiting for me to fuck you." Eijun whimpered, cock leaking, unable to do much of anything but feel.

"You like that? You like me telling you that I want to suck your cock until you come harder than you ever have? I do, Eijun, I want to lick every inch of you; I want to fuck you every way possible. I want you to fuck me, do me, suck me." Eijun doesn't even know how he's still upright, the salacious words echoing in his mind, bringing with them vivid images and fueling his already raging libido. While he's uttering these words meant to fry Eijun's brain, Kazuya's hands are busy tracing patterns over his stomach and ass, roaming and mapping out the dips and hills of his flesh.

Finally, the boy's hands landed on Eijun's hardness, smoothing the soft skin, grazing along the vein underneath, fingers gentle as they reacquaint themselves with the shape and heft of his cock. Leaning forward, he placed a kiss on the head, licking off the precum that's gathered there. "Now it's time to pay my debt. You did so well today, Ei." Eijun jerked, the words of praise going straight to his groin. Kazuya noted that, too, and filed it away for future exploitation. He continued to lick, exploring his length with his tongue, tasting the salt and the heat, reveling in the scent of Eijun.

Working his way slowly back up the shaft, he sucked the leaking head of Eijun's cock into his mouth, tonguing the sensitive groove on the underside. "Kazu…" Eijun sighed, hands scrabbling for something to cling onto, burying themselves in his hair. Tightening his grip, Eijun pulled at his hair just a bit in reaction to the boy's talented mouth, unable to stop himself. Kazuya moaned, loving the pinpricks—on the edge of pain—that Eijun's tugging was providing. Working his head up and down, sucking in and out, swallowing until he's almost to the point of choking, Kazuya was so engulfed in sensation and passion that he was lost to everything but Eijun.

"Fuck, Kazu…" Eijun moaned, watching his boy. Kazuya looked up at him, his beautiful eyes glazed over with desire, and Eijun was suddenly too close to coming. Pulling insistently at Kazuya's head, he brought him back upright, diving in for a liquid kiss, tasting himself on Kazuya's tongue.

Eijun's hands plunged straight for Kazuya's straining pants, making short work of both the button and the zipper. Sliding the clothing down, he freed the boy's aching cock, running his fingers down the length, using the precum as a lubricant. "You're so hard, Kazu. I want to taste you so badly but I know I won't last much longer, and I want to feel you, watch you. I adore you, Kazu, you're so fucking beautiful and you don't even know it." Leaning over, he rained kisses along Kazuya's jaw, heading for his ear. Whispering, he sighed. "I want you. I want you to fuck me until I can't walk, until I don't remember my name. I want to suck you off, feel you come in my mouth, lick you clean. I want you." Kazuya bit back a moan, writhing against Eijun's hand. "Oh, so you like that too? Good."

Reaching down, Kazuya stroked Eijun, fingers dancing and firming, moving steadily. Eijun matched him, caressing and fondling his boy. He leaned in, causing their lengths to align, drawing heated moans from both of them. Wrapping his hand around their dripping cocks, he started to stroke, finding a rhythm that suited them both. Kazuya threw his head back, lost in a haze of feelings. Eijun leaned forward, nipping at his clavicle, inadvertently sucking a mark in the same place he's already received one.

Kazuya kissed Eijun, a sloppy wet kiss full of distraction and messy with desire. They continued to kiss, tongues dancing and lips moving, hands stroking and hips undulating, until they can't hold back any more. Racing to the climax, they chased each other, love and passion combining to make a totally new connection between them.

Kazuya comes first with a groan, finding himself awash in sensations of everything and nothing at the same time, release and ecstasy so tangled together that he was unable to tell them apart. Eijun followed shortly, seduced into orgasm by the noise and the movement and the feeling of his partner, hazy emotions swirling around while he allowed himself to go over and up, falling off the precipice, trusting Kazuya to catch him.

Foreheads touching, leaning into each other, they just rested, breathing, feeling. Slowly opening their eyes, they gazed at each other, reading the emotions exposed, the secrets unhidden. Kazuya reached up with his clean hand and touched Eijun's cheek, gently. "I love you so fucking much; I don't know what to do about it sometimes. It's overwhelming, this feeling."

"I know what you mean, Kazu, I feel the same way. I want you all the time; I want to be with you all the time. It's disconcerting."

"Again with the long words, Ei." Laughing, Kazuya looked around for something to clean up with. He grabbed a towel off a pile of clean ones, and wiped them both down. Fortunately, they didn't make a mess on their clothing.

"Shut up, you shitty senpai." Eijun grinned, "At least I'm not the one hauling people into locker rooms for a quickie. Do you have a list somewhere of all the clichéd high school make out places?"

Kazuya leaned in and kissed his boy. "I may be a shitty senpai, but I'm _your_ shitty senpai." He whispered in his ear. "Don't you have a list of all the places you'd like to do me?" He stepped back, admiring the dazed look on Eijun's face. Too bad he was going to wipe it off. He snarked. "Maybe we should make a list together, you know, a team-building project."

Eijun smiled up at him, all sunshine and light. "You know, that's not a bad idea. I'd love to suck you off in the dugout. Maybe we should plan on fucking on the mound?" Kazuya just stared. That was not the reaction he was expecting. _I think I need to be wary of that particular smile, it means trouble._ Eijun busted out laughing, enjoying the shocked look on Kazuya's face.

"I'm kidding...kinda." He smirked. "I just love the look you get on your face."

Kazuya let out a startled laugh. "You _are_ getting too much like me, you brat."

"Thank you! I try!" Eijun retorts.

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response." Huffed Kazuya, amused beyond belief by this boy who's stolen both his heart and his lines.

Eijun laughed, wrapping his arms around his catcher, dragging him into a tight hug. Kazuya hugged him back, so content to have his boy in his arms.

"I love you so much."

"Yeah, me too."

They were just about to leave and find the team when the door swung open, tentatively. Haruichi was standing there, with his back turned. "Eijun? Are you guys in there?"

"You can turn around, Haruichi, there's nothing going on." Eijun assured the boy. He let out a sigh of relief and turned to face them.

"I'm glad I found you. Kuramochi-senpai and I were able to stop the team from searching for you by telling them that you had told me you were going to the bathroom, and that I was afraid you'd get lost so I sent the captain after you, but we'd better get back soon."

"Thank you, Haruichi, for covering for us. I appreciate it." Kazuya smiled at him.

Haruichi smiled back, shyly. "You're welcome, but we should probably hurry, Kazuya." Kazuya's smile grew at the sound of his name. Eijun was confused, yet happy that his best friend and his boyfriend seemed to be getting close. He made a mental note to ask Kazuya for an explanation later.

"You're right, let's go." Kazuya slid his arm around Eijun's shoulders, and they followed Haruichi out. "You played well, Haruichi, I'm glad you were able to score with your wooden bat. Hopefully that guy will leave you alone about it from now on. If not, Ei and I have got your back."

"Thank you, Kazuya." Haruichi replied, clearly pleased.

"Not a problem."

"Where have you idiots been?" Kuramochi came up behind them, kicking at the couple.

"Kuramochi-senpai! I found them in the locker room." Haruichi explained.

Kuramochi smirked. "The locker room? How very high school of you! Do you have a list somewhere of all the clichéd high school make out places?"

"That's exactly what I said!" Eijun exclaimed.

Kazuya looked pained. "You two _may not_ gang up on me, dammit. I can make your life hell, and don't think I won't." The roommates exchanged glances, and busted out laughing.

"Dude, we've been ganging up on you since forever, you're just too dense to see it." Kuramochi snarked, knocking his shoulder into Kazuya's.

"Oi, Mochi, I won't have you corrupting my pitcher!" Kazuya complained.

Haruichi let out a snort. "I think he's leaving that one up to you, Kazuya." All three of them laughed as Kazuya glared.

"And you, when did you become such a snarky brat? I thought you were a nice first year." Kazuya accused Haruichi.

"Thank you!" He replied. Everyone laughed, including the captain.

Shaking his head ruefully, he mourned. "You're all a bunch of lost causes, I give up."

"But you love us anyway, right?" Eijun grinned.

Kazuya smirked. "No doubt about that, to my great regret."

Kuramochi spoke up, voice serious. "Haruichi, I need to tell you something."

"Yes, Kuramochi-senpai?"

"Wait, he gets Kazuya, and I get senpaied to death? We're partners, call me Mochi at least!"

"I'll try, Ka-Mochi-senpai."

"Sheesh, ok. I'll keep reminding you, you'll get it. Anyway. You played really well today."

Haruichi blushed, pleased. "Thank you."

"Also, I wanted to apologize if it seems like I've been giving you a hard time recently. I have been hard on you, but I do have my reasons. I think you're really talented; you have a lot of potential. I'll deny saying this until my dying day, but I think you could be better than Ryou. I see something in you that sets you apart, I'm not sure exactly what it is, but it's there. That's why I'm hard on you. I want you to grow as much as you can while I'm here to watch over you."

All three of his friend stared at him, shocked. "What? It's all true!"

Kazuya laid his hand on Kuramochi shoulder, pretending to wipe away a fake tear. "It does my heart good to see you being so nice, Mochi." Eijun snorted, watching Haruichi, who still seemed in shock.

"T-t-thank you, Mochi-senpai." Haruichi stuttered out.

"Ohgod, I'm going to take it all back." Kuramochi groaned.

Eijun laughed, walking down the hall with his best friends, tired from pitching a winning game, and beyond happy.

 _From: Me (catch4me .jp)_

 _To: BastardKazuya (miyukik )_

 _Kazuya-_

 _Only two more games, and then the coach can't leave and we're going to the Spring Koshien!_

 _I know we can do it._

 _I hope I get to play, but I doubt I will start again, Furuya will be good by then, and Nori is awesome._

 _I'll probably be pinch hitting. It might be what I'm best suited for, I really don't know._

 _Sometimes I wonder, worry, that I'm not good enough, that as long as Furuya is here I have no chance at ace. But, I also know that if I can achieve that, it will be due to you and your help. I know that you're going to continue to shine, to grow. You are destined for the spotlight._

 _I love you._

 _Something you don't know about me:_

 _I shoplifted, once._

 _It was a keychain with a catcher's mitt on it. I didn't mean to, I had the money for it, but I walked out without paying. I didn't get caught; I actually went back in and paid for it._

 _I still have it. I never was able to give it to the person I bought it for._

 _That is actually my only brush with the law; I'm such a good boy. Well, I was a good boy, I'm not sure you're such a good influence in that area._

 _Get some sleep; you have a list to compile_

 _I love you-_

 _-Eijun_


	23. A Much Needed Discusssion

Late that night, Eijun got a text message.

 _Can you come outside? I want to talk to you. Please._

Curious, Eijun slipped into his sweats and grabbed a hoodie and something out of his top drawer, put on his shoes and stepped out the door. Kazuya was standing right outside, waiting. He grinned at Eijun and took his hand, pulling him towards the practice fields.

"What's up, Kazu?" Eijun asked as they jog down the path.

"I wanted to talk to you about a couple of things. And I wanted to see you. Is that ok?" Kazuya smirked at his boy, leading him to the same tree they'd curled up beneath the last time they were out late talking, the first night they'd kissed. Kazuya sat under the tree, and Eijun crawled into his lap, straddling his legs.

He wrapped his arms around Kazuya's neck and kissed him softly. "Hey you."

"Hello, beautiful." Kazuya replied, snaking his arms around Eijun's waist and bringing him in for another soft kiss. "I love you, Ei. I do want to talk to you about a few things, but I mainly wanted to hold you for a bit. I'll miss you tonight, I've gotten used to you being around."

"I know, Kazu. I am going to miss you as well. Practice is going to be brutal this week and we really do need to sleep, though. Real sleep."

Kazuya frowned briefly. "You're right. Anyway. I read your email, Ei, and I'm going to kick your ass. Where does this self-doubt come from? You _just_ pitched the best game of your life. You've learned the change up, and it looks as if you'll eventually be able to force it to break whichever way you want it to, depending on your grip. Plus, you are gaining even more control over your regular fastballs, and even more speed. While it is true you are not as fast as Furuya, you've got more potential. Your growth to this point has been nothing short of astonishing. Who knows where it's going to end?

"Ei-chan, who said something to you? Was it that guy, is he trying to get to you?" Kazuya paused, backtracking. "I'm sorry, I wasn't attempting to overstep, I'm just worried about you. I want to understand where this is coming from."

Eijun smiled sadly at his boyfriend. "No one said anything to me, I don't need anyone to tell me what's right in front of my eyes. Furuya is a better pitcher, and as long as he's around I don't think I have a chance to be the ace, _especially_ if Ochiai has any say in the matter. I am not giving up, I'm not, _I promise_. I am just trying to be honest with myself about myself. And right now, I'm simply not good enough; I don't know if I'll _ever_ be good enough."

"Oh, Ei." Kazuya sighed, heart breaking for his beautiful boy. "I know that right now it seems that way to you. Furuya is the ace, he wears the number. But what you don't see is the way the team responds to you. So what if you are the relief pitcher? You are the one responsible for winning the games. You're not going in when the team is far ahead, you're going in when it's close, when we're close to losing, and you pull the team's collective ass out of the fire. That's what a relief pitcher does. It's not as flashy, you don't get to be the 'ace', but in many ways, it's more important. One day, though, you will be more than Furuya can ever hope to be. I really believe that."

Eijun leaned in and kissed Kazuya, whispering a slightly teary 'thank you" right before their lips met. It was a slow, gentle kiss, one that spoke of love and affection. Breaking away, he curled into Kazuya, resting his head on his shoulder. "You're so good, Kazu, and when we play together I feel like we can take on the world. But I sometimes wonder if there will be a day when I'm holding you back, when you could go so much further if you stepped away from me. If that ever happens, if you ever feel like you need to do so, please let me know. I'll support you in whatever decision you make, I never want to be responsible for you not reaching your full potential."

"Ei, look at me, please." Eijun sat up and met Kazuya's eyes. "I honestly cannot imagine that happening, ever. If it does, I promise I will tell you and _we_ will figure it out together. And you have to promise me the same thing, because I can totally see you outgrowing me." Eijun nodded, agreeing to terms, but looking very skeptical. "One thing you have to remember, Ei-chan. We are not alone any more. I have you, and you have me. Together we can do anything we put our minds to, and together we will make these decisions. Got it? We will do what is best for _us_. Last week you told me that it is no one's business what we do, as long as we agree on it; that applies to this situation as well. Any such decision is years away, anyway. We'll talk about this if it happens, no need to worry about it now." He pulled Eijun back down in a hug, tucking his chin over Eijun's shoulder.

"There is one more thing I want to talk to you about, Ei, but it's kind of hard for me, ok? It might take a bit for you to understand."

Eijun nodded and rubbed Kazuya's sides soothingly. "Whatever it is, Kazu, I'm more than happy to listen and help as much as I can."

"Ok. Let me see. It's about what happened after the game today." Eijun sat up. "Kazu, did I push you to do someth—" Kazuya cut him off. "No, you didn't. Please let me just finish, and then we can talk, ok?" Eijun nodded.

Kazuya tried again. "What happened after the game today was amazing, Ei. I honestly never thought anything could feel like that. I'll probably be dreaming about it for a long while and just thinking about it, well…" he shifted, slightly uncomfortable, "let's just say I hope I don't daydream about that in class." Eijun hummed in agreement.

"Anyway. It was unbelievable. But, I am a little…concerned that we're moving too fast. I mean, we have only been 'dating' a week, and we are still teenagers. I want to spend time with you; I want to be around you, and everything that is implied by that. I just want to slow it down a bit. I think I'm scared. That's all." Kazuya looked apprehensive.

Eijun laid his hand on Kazuya's cheek, rubbing his fingers along his jawbone. "Kazu, we've been friends forever, right? Please don't worry about telling me what you are thinking. I told you before that I want to know your truth, that it was important. Thank you for letting me know how you are feeling; I happen to agree with you. God, that was insane, I _do not_ want to think too much about it while I'm sitting in your lap, but it does seem like we jumped into it a bit early. I like making out, and I love to touch you, but I think that might be a good place to stop. We have so much time to figure everything out; we don't have to do it all right now."

"Ohthankgod." Kazuya let out in one breath. Eijun glared. "What? I thought everything was going to be fine but I wasn't sure. I'm not used to things being as easy as it is for us, so I worry about stuff. I adore you and I don't want to hurt your feelings. I'm just _trepidatious_."

Eijun shot his boyfriend a grin. "Such big words, Miyuki Kazuya. You've been reading a dictionary?"

"Nope, I learned it from the idiot I'm dating. Figured if he could use it correctly, I needed to be able to as well."

Eijun grumbled, "Damn you, you shitty senpai." Kazuya grinned.

Eijun took up the thread of the conversation. "Kazu. What is it that you want to happen? What do you want us to do?"

"I don't really know. Just…dial it back some. That was so intense; it seemed a bit beyond us, as if we didn't have control. And while I _do not_ think that's a bad thing, I just don't think we are ready for that. Like I said, we're young and this is our first relationship. I expect this to be my last as well, and I don't want to rush anything. I don't think we are prepared for the level of intimacy that would be required to take the next step. I know that I'm not, and I am sorry if that is a disappointment to you. I do want everything you're willing to give, and I meant every word I said earlier, but I'm just not ready right now."

"Kazuya, you're fine. Please, stop apologizing. I _do agree_ with you. I do want to have sex with you; I do want to do all those things, but later. We are not to that place yet, and we shouldn't be in a hurry to get there. I don't want us setting some lofty rules and then failing, I just think we need to define what we're comfortable with, and avoid making these types of decisions when we're halfway gone already, like we were this afternoon. Which was so, so, very hot, by the way." Eijun smirked, bending over and nipping Kazuya's ear. Kazuya yipped, looking vaguely offended. "So, guidelines. What do you think?"

"I think you should play fair, for starters." Kazuya glared. "I guess we just need to be more self-aware, and if we feel like we're approaching that point, we should slow down. I do need to clarify one thing, though. This does not mean I don't want to make out with you every chance I can get. It does not mean I don't want to sleep with you whenever possible. I want to continue doing all of that. I still want to touch you, feel you. I think we'll know when things are getting a little too much and we need to back off. We just have to pay attention. Sound good?"

"It does, Kazu, it makes perfect sense." Eijun rested his forehead on Kazuya's, grinning at his boy. "Now that we're done with the 'talking' part of the evening, let's move on to the interrogation portion. I have a couple of questions. First of all, what is with Haruichi calling you Kazuya? Secondly, did you make the list yet, or are you waiting for me?"

Kazuya laughed, and explained the situation with Haruichi. "We're friends, so I asked him to do so. We'll see what happens in public, I'll bet he's going to be 'Miyuki-senpai'ing me again. And I haven't made any list, haven't started. I figured we won't need a list until we're old and gray. We're much better improvisers than long term planners."

Eijun laughed and climbed off Kazuya's lap. "You're not wrong. Now that we've got that all worked out, we should go find somewhere to make out. We're sleeping separately tonight and I want to kiss you for a while." Kazuya grinned, agreeing. He got up, and they walked back towards the dorms hand in hand. Halfway back, Eijun stuck his hand in his pocket and remembered what he had grabbed on his way out. He stopped walking under a light, so they both could see what was going on.

He held out his hand, which was closed over the item. "Miyuki-senpai, please accept this humble offering in the spirit in which it is given." Kazuya held out his hand, and Eijun dropped it on his palm. "Happy thirteenth birthday, Kazu." It was a keychain, with a miniature catcher's mitt on the end.

Kazuya just stared. _This was…this…_ His thoughts ground to a halt as he looked in awe at the keychain in his hand. Lunging at his boyfriend, he buried his face in his neck, wrapping him up in his arms. He didn't say anything, didn't do anything for a long minute, feeling the softness of Eijun's hoodie under his hands, smelling the fabric softener and soap and Eijun, emotions overwhelming, eyes leaking. Kazuya had never felt so loved in all of his life. The fact that this lovely, scatterbrained boy would remember to pack something like this, remember he had something like this, spoke more clearly than anything about how he felt, how _important_ Kazuya was to him, how important Kazuya had _always_ been to him. Pulling away, he looked into Eijun's eyes, seeing love, and a bit of confusion. _Of course, he doesn't even see the significance. This is his reality; there are no revelations to be made. This is what he is, what he's always been_. "Thank you, Ei. I love you so much, you know? I can't believe you had this." He pressed a kiss on Eijun's cheek.

"Well, I knew I'd see you, so I was hoping I could give it to you. It's a few years late, I know, but I couldn't get it to you before now, and you were who I bought it for. Although the original plan did not include adding a key to my room."

"Wait, what? This is your dorm key? Really?" Kazuya was shocked, again.

"Well, duh. What else would it be? Just don't let Kuramochi-senpai know, he's learning some new moves and I'm trying to avoid becoming his practice dummy."

"I thought…I don't know, I thought that you hadn't had a chance to take it off the ring or something. I'll be careful around Mochi." He carefully put the keychain in his pocket and grabbed Eijun's hand. Together they walked to Kazuya's room.

After a while, an observer would have seen Eijun coming out of Kazuya's room, headed to his own bed for the night. A clever observer—and she prided herself on being just that—would have noticed that Eijun was wearing the hoodie Kazuya had been wearing. He had a big grin on his face as he walked down the stairs, looking every bit like a boy in love. She sighed _. I hope this is not just another one of his games. That problem child is going to be the death of me, I swear. I'll deal with him tomorrow…_


	24. Two can Keep a Secret

Eijun rolled over and punched his pillow. Again. Groaning, he buried his head under the blankets, snuggling into their warmth. It was dark in the room, it was late, and he was exhausted. Perfect conditions for sleep, but he just could not get comfortable. He'd doze for a bit, and then wake up; it was irritating how much he missed Kazuya. Seriously, I've slept alone for seventeen years, why is this so hard?

He rolled over again, refusing to open his eyes. I've got to sleep. From the bunk above him, he heard a loud sigh. "Just go, idiot. At this rate, none of us are going to get any rest. There's no way this could be any more counterproductive. Seriously." Surrendering, Eijun sat up and reached for his sweatpants that were draped over the foot of the bed. He slipped them on and headed to the door. As he put on his shoes, he heard, "If you come back here alone, I'm going to kick your ass. If you both come back here, you'd better be fucking quiet. I'm tired and I will get some sleep if it kills you." He closed the door softly as he left.

The night was cool and still, the autumn air ripe with the smell of drying leaves. Heading towards the stairs, he heard a familiar door open and close on the second floor. Well, at least it's not just me. He waited at the bottom, watching his boyfriend descend. He was bathed in moonlight and Eijun realized that he was so tired that he hadn't even put on his glasses. I'm so glad those eyes are hidden behind lenses most of the time. Stepping out of the shadows, he met Kazuya at the bottom of the stairs, a soft smile on his face.

"We're both hopeless, huh?" Eijun chuckled, wrapping his arms around Kazuya's shoulders.

"Apparently," smirked the catcher, kissing him on the nose, hands on Eijun's hips. "but at least we're both being hopeless together at the same…" he trailed off, looking confused.

"Gee, Kazu, don't strain your brain!" Eijun chortled. "Sleep deprived much?" Kazuya snorted and pinched Eijun's nose.

"I'm tired, brat. Where are we sleeping?" He yawned, snuggling his nose into Eijun's neck, the scents of soap and Eijun and home making him feel boneless.

"Mine might be smarter; we're more likely to just sleep. Kuramochi-senpai will kill us if we don't." Kazuya nodded sleepily, agreeing.

So they did exactly that.

Early the next morning, Kazuya headed back to his room to get ready for practice. The sun wasn't high, he had some time yet. Climbing the stairs, he stretched. Although he'd gotten to sleep later than he'd expected he'd slept well, waking refreshed. They had fallen asleep almost as soon as they climbed into bed, careful to not disturb Kuramochi in the top bunk. Kazuya had woken up before Eijun, kissing him good morning prior to leaving the room. In his own room he changed quickly and left, wanting to get to the field to check with the coach before practice. Stepping outside, he saw Zono waiting for him.

"Good Morning, Zono." He said, cautiously. They'd cleared the air earlier, but Zono had a troubled look on his face and Kazuya wasn't sure what he wanted.

"Hi, Miyuki. Got a minute?"

"Sure, you want to go in my room, or should we head to practice?"

"Practice is fine; we can talk while we walk." They set off towards the practice field. The morning air was crisp, a perfect day to play. The boys chatted a bit, and then Zono jumped in.

"I saw you and Sawamura yesterday. Do you really think getting involved is a good idea?" Zono questioned. "I'm concerned that he's not capable of keeping up with your games. He's going to be destroyed when he figures out that he's just a means to escape boredom for you." He stopped walking, facing Kazuya.

Kazuya let out a brief, bitter laugh. "Wow. You really do have a low opinion of me." He rubbed his face and ran a weary hand through his hair.

Zono frowned. Kazuya was not responding as he'd expected him to; he figured he'd smirk and deflect the question. Unsettled, he answered. "No, I don't. I just know that you find amusement in things that are not always funny to others. If I'm wrong, I'll be happy to admit it."

Kazuya sighed. "You're not really wrong, Zono. I know how bad I can get. But Eijun's different, he and I…it's a long story, I'll tell you the whole thing later if you'd like. We were best friends for years, I moved away and we lost touch. Since he's been here, we've reconnected, and I care a lot about him. It's not a game or a diversion. He's just…he's just Eijun, and he's very important to me. Feel free to talk to him if you want, he'll be happy to verify the story." Kazuya offered.

Zono let out a sigh of relief, and started walking again. "I'm glad to hear it, Miyuki. Brokenhearted Sawamura is not anything I want to see again. He's had so much to deal with already this year."

"Yes he has. And I don't want to add anything to that." Kazuya avowed, strolling alongside his vice-captain.

Zono eyed him askance. "Ok. Do I need to give you the 'hurt him and you'll regret it' talk?"

"Let's just take it as read. I've already heard it from Haruichi and Mochi. Why does everyone feel the need to lecture me, and not him?" Kazuya queried, feeling persecuted. He glanced over to where Eijun was talking to Furuya, gesticulating wildly, voice loud and face animated. He smiled, fondly. "That's the reason, right? He never does anything halfway or halfheartedly. He's an idiot, but he's got an uncanny ability to touch people."

Zono stared, just a bit, at Kazuya. He'd never seen that smile on the trickster catcher's face before, and that, more than any words, convinced him that he was serious about his pitcher. Zono slapped him on the back and started to walk off. "I think he'll be good for you! I presume you're trying to keep this quiet. I'll help, but don't fuck this up!"

"Thanks, Zono!" Kazuya waved at him as he walked off across the playing field.

The sun glistened on the dew as the team began their warm up. It was cool enough that running felt good, and moving around was almost necessary to stay warm. After instructions from the coach, the pitchers and catchers headed across the field to the bullpen. As they walked, Kazuya motioned to Eijun to hang back. Eijun joined him, and they strolled a bit behind the others, breath steaming lightly in the cool air. "Hey, Ei. Zono saw us yesterday behind the practice building. He talked to me about it this morning, so he may be talking to you as well. Tell him whatever you'd like, I don't mind."

"Ok, are you alright?" Eijun stopped walking to check on his boyfriend, concerned.

"Why wouldn't I be? I told you before, just because we're choosing to keep this private, I'm not ashamed or worried about it getting out. It's all good, Eijun." Eijun grinned, and brushed his fingers across the back of Kazuya's hand, mouthing the words, "I love you." Kazuya rolled his eyes and grinned at him, ruffling his hair. "Me too, Ei." They continued on their way to the bullpen.

"Catch for me, Miyuki Kazuya!" Eijun demanded. Kazuya smirked. "Idiot. I've got to do whatever the coach says, and this morning you've got Ono. I'm catching for Furuya. It's not a bad thing to work with different catchers." Eijun pouted. "There's always the net, Bakamura, if you'd prefer." Eijun's face got red, and he proceeded to do a great imitation of a teakettle on the boil. Kazuya just laughed as he walked into the bullpen.

After practice, Kazuya was walking to breakfast, wondering where his pitcher had wandered off to. Looking up from his reverie, he saw the object of his thoughts heading towards the cafeteria. "Oi, Sawamura! Hang on a second!" Eijun stopped in the hallway, glaring.

"I shouldn't even stop for you, Miyuki Kazuya, you bastard tanuki! You ignored me all morning!" Eijun complained as Kazuya caught up to him.

"I'm sorry, I was working with Furuya. He's got to do some careful training this week so he can play this weekend. We're going to need all three of you to get through these games." Kazuya smiled at Eijun, hoping to see his sunny grin.

"Ok, ok. I get it." Eijun grumped, eyes downcast. "But I don't have to like it."

Kazuya asked, genuinely curious, "What makes you think I do? You've got to know I'd rather be catching your pitches, brat."

Eijun grinned at him, somewhat mollified. "Wow! Miyuki-senpai, you can be nice!"

"Shut it, you." Kazuya smirked. Together they walked towards the cafeteria to eat.

After breakfast, Kazuya walked Eijun to class on his way to the library. This was the week of the second year's trip, and although those left behind didn't have formal classes, they did have some schoolwork to do. Those who did not go on the trip met in the library every day to work on their assignments. Supposedly.

Eijun got thirsty during second period, so he left the classroom between periods to grab a drink from the vending machine. When got down the hall, he saw Kazuya leaning against the wall, checking his phone. Grinning, he asked "Miyuki! What brings you to the first years hall?"

"Oi, Sawamura, not so loud. I was just checking on my pitcher, do you have a problem with that?" Kazuya straightened up and walked over to where Eijun stood, a small smile playing around the corners of his mouth, eyes warm.

"Nope, not a problem, not at all." Eijun was not prepared to deal with that smile—or those eyes—so he fell back on what he knew would get him exactly what he wanted. Laying his hand on Kazuya's arm, he smiled coyly, "I am thirsty, though. You should buy me a drink, Kazuya-senpai." Eijun sparkled up at Kazuya, widening his eyes and moistening his lips.

Kazuya's eyes widened, and his pulse shot up. "Dear deity, you're a menace. Put that away, Eijun. Right now."

Eijun sparkled even more. "What are you talking about, Captain? I don't understand."

Kazuya growled and grabbed Eijun's wrist, dragging him around the corner, the grinning pitcher almost having to run to keep up.

"Miyuki! Where are we—oh..." His inquiry cut off as Kazuya opened a door and shoved him in, following closely. Eijun looked around the dark room, saw the cleaning products and snarked. "The janitor's closet? Really, Kazuya? What number is this on the list?"

"Hey, we work with what we can get." Kazuya said, stalking purposefully towards Eijun, herding him into the corner. "Now, what were you saying before, you tease?"

Eijun smirked. "I'm thirsty. I don't see any drink machines in here, so I guess I'll just have to quench my thirst some other way." He ran his hands slowly up Kazuya's arms, locking them behind his neck, and watched in glee while Kazuya just groaned.

"You're going to be the death of me, you know that? 'Death by Bakamura' is what's going to be on my tombstone." He leaned in for a kiss, and was met halfway by his boy. Just as their lips met, he murmured. "But what a way to go…" And for a while it was all lips and hands and tongue and glorious.

They continued to do what teenagers that are dating usually do whilst inhabiting custodial compartments, but with an edge of caution that had not been there in the past. They were both very aware of what it would take to slip over that edge again, and neither wanted that to happen yet. So they indulged themselves in a slow, leisurely snog, tuning out the rest of the world.

Until the door slammed open.

Kazuya startled and turned around, blinking in the light from the hallway, making sure that Eijun was hidden behind him. As his eyes adjusted, he saw Rei standing in the doorway, glaring.

"Why am I not surprised, Miyuki-kun? I expect that's Sawamura-kun behind you, am I right?" She asked, mildly curious.

Eijun stepped out from behind his speechless boyfriend. "Good Morning, Rei-san." He said, bowing deeply. Rei hid a snort of laughter behind her hand.

"Sawamura-kun, please go to class, you're late." She gently suggested. Voice hardening, she ordered, "Miyuki-kun, stay here. I want to talk to you."

The boys looked at each other, and Kazuya squeezed Eijun's hand. "Go to class, I'll talk to you later."

Eijun kissed Kazuya on the cheek and went to class, leaving silence in his wake.

"Walk with me, Miyuki." Rei commanded.

Kazuya fell into step beside her, taking stock of her mood. She's in mama bear mode. Nothing but the absolute truth is going to satisfy her today. I understand why people are so protective of Eijun, but I'm not that bad of a person, am I? Well, it's not like my reputation wasn't earned; I just have to prove them all wrong. I can do that. Eijun's worth that.

They walked through the school to her office without speaking. She ushered him in, bypassing the comfortable couch, and led him to a chair facing her desk. Walking behind it, she sat as well.

"I'm not exactly sure what's going on with you two. Scratch that, I know exactly what's going on with you two. What I want to know is why. Miyuki, we both know how you can be. Please explain to me how this is good for either of you?" Rei leaned forward, clearly interested in his reply.

Kazuya sighed. "This just isn't my day to be given the benefit of the doubt, huh?" Rei sat back and glared at him.

"If I wasn't, you'd be hauled before the principal and the coach before you could blink. Now tell me why I shouldn't do exactly that."

"If you think you should, please do. But first, please let me explain why this is good for both of us.

"You see, from the time I met him when we were four, until I was twelve, my best friend was Sawamura Eijun. We were inseparable…" He told her the whole story, didn't leave anything out. Well almost, he did leave out the more private bits. She looked more and more interested, more invested, as he spoke. When he was done, she leaned back in her chair.

"So, how do you feel about him?" She asked, carefully.

He met her eyes, and answered as honestly as he could. "I love him. He's been my best friend for years, and I think I've loved him for just as long."

She nodded, assessing. "How does he feel?"

Kazuya shrugged. "You probably should ask him, but he says he's loved me since he was five, and I've seen no reason to doubt him."

"It is a pretty story, and fits with some of the things I've observed about you two, but it does seem a little farfetched." Rei looked skeptical.

"I know it does. But it's true, and he claims he'd never stopped looking for me." Kazuya continued, "If you hadn't found him, he would have seen the article about me, and come here anyway. Feel free to verify any or all of this with Sawamura and his parents, who know me quite well."

"I just may do that." Rei pushed her glasses up her nose, hiding her eyes. "Now, on to the important questions. Can you be his catcher, completely separate from his boyfriend?"

Kazuya thought for a minute. "I don't think I can…I don't think a person can just shut that off. But, I can tell you that as his catcher, I will do whatever is necessary to make him shine, just like I do with all of the other pitchers on the team. I also won't let him slack off or give him any kind of preferential treatment. I would never do that, he'd hate it. He wants to win on his own merits."

"Good, good answer. Now, how do your parents feel about this? Does his know? Do yours? Are we going to get angry phone calls?"

"His parents know, they've known for a long time. My father doesn't know, but I can't imagine that he'd care, he's not cared much about anything I've done since my mom died." Kazuya explained, knowing Rei was aware of his situation and the relationship he had with his father. She was the one who recruited him, recruited both of them, and he kind of loved her for putting the whole thing into play.

Rei sighed, resigned. "I'm not quite sure that's true, but we'll deal with it if and when it comes up. Ok, I think that's all I have for you right now; I want to speak to the pair of you later. Come by after practice." She stood up to escort him out the door. "And no more making out in the janitor's closet. I know you're trying to keep this quiet, and I appreciate it, but it's not working so well. Neither of you are good at subtle. Maybe you should consider opening up, at least to the baseball team."

Kazuya shot her a grin. "You could be right; I'll talk to Eijun about it. We'll see you after practice, Rei-chan. Thank you." Well that went better than I thought. Maybe the staff won't give us a hard time. That would be...unexpected.

Rei closed the door behind Kazuya, and leaned against it. That was enlightening. It looks like Miyuki is serious about this. That's good; at least I don't have to deal with the fallout from one of his 'amusements'. First things first, I need to contact Eijun's parents. Trust but verify, right? Then talk to Kataoka. He won't have any problems with it as long as it doesn't affect the club, but he's going to want to know about it. Plus, he can always use more blackmail/punishment material. Miyuki will behave now, I'll bet. She laughed. Who am I fooling, Miyuki will always be himself, but it'll be good for both of them if this works out. I'll have to watch, but it seems like they'd make a great pair.

She walked back over to her desk and picked up her phone.

Kazuya walked through the cafeteria during lunch. He knew that Eijun would be here somewhere, he never missed a chance to eat. Spotting the other first years, he headed towards their table. As he approached the group, he saw that Eijun wasn't there. He greeted the others as he drew near.

"Hey, guys, how are you?" He slid into the seat across from the two.

Haruichi smiled. "We're good, Miyuki-se...Miyuki. Are you looking for Eijun? He grabbed a bag lunch. He said he needed some fresh air, and was going to eat on the bleachers."

"Thanks, Haruichi, I'm going to try to catch him." Kazuya smiled at the smaller boy.

Haruichi nodded, tilting his head enough to show a glint of one eye. "He seemed nervous. Is everything ok?" Kazuya grinned. There he is.

"It's fine; we just had a run in with Rei-chan earlier, after I had a similar discussion with Zono this morning before practice." Kazuya hoped he understood, not wanting to go into too much detail in front of Furuya.

Furuya looked up from his food. "Were you making out in the janitor's closet? I thought I saw you guys duck in there. You need to pay closer attention to your surroundings." He went back to eating.

Kazuya stared, and Haruichi sat up straighter, looking intensely at Furuya. "You know about them?" Furuya stopped eating and shrugged.

"I've known something was up with them for a month or so. I didn't realize they'd gotten together until last week. It doesn't matter, really. I just want to pitch, and Miyuki-senpai hasn't stopped catching for me." Kazuya and Haruichi exchanged a glance, and Kazuya went off to grab a bag lunch and find Eijun.

As he moved through the line to collect his lunch, the cafeteria ladies seemed to be paying extra attention to him. Kazuya wasn't sure if he was just paranoid after the morning he'd had, so he proceeded as he normally would. At the end of the line, the head cook pulled him aside and gave him a second bag. "Here, Miyuki-kun. Share these with that cute boyfriend of yours. Treat him well, ok? He's a keeper!" She winked at his shocked face, and went back to work, laughing.

Walking out of the cafeteria, Kazuya was in a bit of a daze. What was going on?

Outside, the sun was shining, and it had warmed up noticeably from this morning. Kazuya walked through courtyard to the path for the practice field. He headed for the bleachers, wanting to see and speak to Eijun, wanting to ground himself after the extremely disconcerting morning he'd just had.

Eijun was sitting on where he expected him to be, on the bottom row. He'd not even opened his lunch yet, he was just staring at the field, lost in thought. Kazuya walked up to him, noticing how beautiful his boy looked with the sun glinting off his hair, face pensive and relaxed. Eijun finally realized someone was approaching, and turned to face him. His face lit up, and he smiled. Kazuya felt himself relax, felt the world realign. This, him, them, was what was important, was what was special. Together.

Grabbing Eijun's wrist, he hauled him to his feet. "I think we need to eat lunch under a tree." Eijun's face fell. "It's that bad?"

"Let's just go."

Together they walked to their tree. Kazuya could feel Eijun's concern, but he didn't say anything to relieve the tension. It's only fair after what he did this morning. I have to get him back somehow...

They sat down under their tree, Eijun uncharacteristically quiet. The afternoon was much warmer that the morning had been, and the shade felt good on their hot skin. The silence only lasted a few minutes, though, before Eijun spoke, voice just above a whisper, shaking but demanding answers.

"What happened with Rei? Do they want us to break up? Are they going to kick me off the team? What are we going to do, Kazu?" He had tears standing in his eyes, and Kazuya suddenly felt like the world's biggest asshole.

Dragging him into a hug, he started talking. "I'm so sorry Eijun. Nothing's going to happen, I was just being an ass. Rei is not upset, It's all ok. I just wanted to talk to you about all the things that have happened this morning."

Eijun sat up and looked him in the eye. "What? There's nothing bad? Seriously? Miyuki Kazuya, you are an asshole tanuki, you known that?" Kazuya sighed and held Eijun tighter.

"You're right, Ei, and I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to upset or worry you; I was just getting a little revenge for this morning, you and your sunshine eyes. You were totally playing me back there, and we both know it."

Eijun glared at him. "You started it. You show up where I don't expect you and you smile, in that way with your eyes looking so damned happy, and I don't know what else to do."

There wasn't anything Kazuya could do but laugh. 'We are truly hopeless, aren't we?" He climbed into Eijun's lap, straddling his legs. Wrapping his arms around the pitcher's neck, he kissed his boy. Smile met frown, melding together into a softness, a sweetness, that they found only in each other. Eijun sighed against his mouth, "I was so worried, you jerk."

Kazuya apologized again. "I know, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking, really. I love you Ei, I never want to make you worry."

"Ok, so, you wanted to talk to me about what's happened today, so let's talk." Eijun stated. "As far as I know, Zono spoke to you and Rei dragged us out of the janitor's closet, which, by the way, means we're quickly running out of clichéd make out spots. So spill. What happened today."

"Hmmm…yes. You know about Zono, he mostly wanted to make sure you were ok and that I wasn't just playing games. Oh, and to threaten me if I hurt you. I don't know why everyone thinks I'm the one who has all the power to wound here, Ei. Who's looking out for me?"

Kazuya pouted.

Eijun smirked. "Aww, poor baby. You don't think anyone's looking out for you? Kuramochi-senpai spoke to me. As did Chris-senpai. Both of them suggesting I take good care of you and your mushy marshmallow heart.

"And as much as I appreciate the sentiment, I can look out for myself, thank you very much. Also, I'm looking out for you, Kazuya. You're the most important person in my life, and I'll be damned before I let you get hurt by anyone, including me." Eijun stroked Kazuya's cheek, brushing his fingers along his jaw. Kazuya leaned into his hand, covering it with one of his own. Turning his head, he placed a kiss in the middle of Eijun's palm.

"You'll never hurt me purposefully, Ei. I trust you with everything, and I know this to be true." He leaned down and rested his forehead on Eijun's.

Eijun blinked back the tears that threatened. "Oh, Miyuki Kazuya. Whatever am I going to do with you?"

Kazuya responded without hesitation. "Love me."

"I already do, and I love you more every day, Kazu. You are the love of my life, and that's not going to change." Eijun gave his boy a kiss on the cheek, and pulled back a bit. "I do have to go to class this afternoon, so we should probably eat and talk about what's happened today."

Reaching for the bags of lunch, Kazuya climbed off of Eijun's lap, and handed him his lunch.

"Well, the most surprising and least problematic thing happened right before I came out to see you. The cafeteria ladies gave me an extra bag of something, and told me to share it with my cute boyfriend." Eijun looked at Kazuya, wide eyed.

"I love the cafeteria ladies. Absolutely nothing gets by them, ever. What is it?" Eijun reached for the bag.

Kazuya held it up, above his head. "Don't just assume you can have my goodies!"

"Miyuki Kazuya, the lunch ladies gave it to both of us. Do you have any idea what they can and will do to you if they find out you didn't share?" Eijun just looked at Kazuya, eyes steady.

"Hey! Are you threatening me with the wrath of the cafeteria ladies? That's low, Ei-chan." Kazuya teased.

Eijun just laughed. "I know, but have you tasted their goodies? It's worth it."

Kazuya opened the bag and looked inside. "There's chocolate chip cookies in here. Eat your lunch first, you need the nutrients."

"Yes, mom." Eijun snarked, taking a bite out of his sandwich.

They ate in companionable silence, chatting about the talk Kazuya had with Rei, and the totally strange revelation about Furuya.

"Apparently, today's the day we're coming out, whether we want to or not." Eijun sighed, not sure he's ready to deal with the fallout.

Kazuya thumped him on the head. "Idiot. We don't have to do anything, remember? So, some people know, it doesn't mean we have to take out an ad in the school newspaper. We do have to talk to Rei after practice, though. Here, have a cookie." He passed over a cookie to Eijun, and they nibbled on them thoughtfully.

"Hey, Ei? You were right." Kazuya broke the silence.

Eijun perked up, grinning. "I was? About what?"

"These are some incredible cookies."

"I know, right?"

Kazuya smiled.

Eijun grinned.

They ate the cookies.


	25. Don't Forget Your Raincoat

Practice went as usual; everyone was in good spirits, since they had won the game the previous day. They went all out, knowing that later in the week they would have to slow down in anticipation of the games this weekend.

After warming up, Kazuya and Eijun walked into the bullpen together. Kazuya was slated to work with Eijun, and Kariba was catching for Nori.

"Do you think I should try those different grips, Miyuki? They might come in handy this weekend." Eijun asked.

Kazuya shook his head. "I think that we should perfect the two that you have, those are enough of a variety for now. After the season we can work on the other ones, test them out and figure out which are likely to be useful. We should probably not expend our energy on that right now."

Eijun nodded, grinned. "Whatever you say, captain-senpai! You tell me what to pitch, and I'll pitch it!"

"Captain-senpai?" Kazuya choked back a laugh. "Really?" Rolling his eyes, he moved to the catcher's box. "Come on, Sawamura; let's burn off some of that energy."

Eijun's smile turned feral, and his eyes gleamed. "Whatever you say, Miyuki-senpai. By all means, let's burn off some energy." Miyuki gazed at his pitcher, eyes wide and just a bit glazed. He blinked and glared, his face clearing.

"Oi, Sawamura! If you don't want to pitch, just say so. I'm sure Furuya would be happy to have me catch for him." Kazuya smirked.

Eijun glowered. "Miyuki Kazuya! Don't you dare!" Kazuya's grin widened.

"Are you sure? We can do this another time, if you'd rather use the net." Eijun started to sputter as Kazuya walked towards him, slinging his arm around his neck. He muttered, "Idiot, don't do that to me. We're supposed to be avoiding these situations, not making them worse."

Eijun looked slightly abashed. "I'm sorry; I just kinda walked right through the door you opened. I wasn't thinking."

"It's fine, let's practice, shall we?" Miyuki patted him on his back, walked to his position, and pulled down his mask, ready to catch.

They worked together on his pitches, running through each and honing them for future use. Practice ended early so that the team could review the data on Seikou, the team they were playing next. Although they had all been at the stadium watching, Nabe was analyzing the information and wanted to speak to the team about what he'd found. They were a really physical team and their batting lineup was pretty much Eijun's worst nightmare; they tended to power through the pitches, forcing the ball to do what they wanted rather than hitting easy outs because the ball moved at the last second, like Eijun's pitches did.

After the meeting Eijun was sitting at the table, talking to the others, when he was called in to see Couch Kataoka. He looked at Kazuya who shrugged, clearly clueless.

"I wonder if it's because I was sleeping in class? That's the only thing I can think of…" He queried, getting up to go to the staff room.

Voices followed him out of the room. "How much does he sleep in class, really?" "All the time, don't you see him running at midnight?"

He walked into the office to meet with the coaching staff. Rei smiled as she asked him, "How are you feeling? Are you tired after pitching all nine innings yesterday?"

"No, I'm fine." Eijun replied, "My grandfather always says that the only thing I have going for me is a strong body."

The coach asked him a few questions about how he felt and about his performance, praising him for his low pitch count and lack of both four-ball walks; after the first inning, he had allowed no runs and few on-base hits.

Coach Kataoka went on to tell him, "You're on your way, you're gaining power as a pitcher, but you're not there yet; you need to be careful to keep your feet on the ground."

"I know, Boss." Eijun replied, "What you're saying to me is that yesterday could have been a fluke, only time will tell, so I shouldn't get a big head about it, right?" the coach nodded.

"I agree. I did consider trying to learn all of those change up grips, but we decided I need to polish the ones that I know will be useful before I stretch for more." Eijun felt his grin spread. "And you too, Boss, you need to prepare yourself. We only have two games until we make it to Spring Koshien, and then you will have to stick around, you cannot possibly leave the team that worked so hard to get there. That is why we've been striving for this, and we won't let you down." Bowing, he left the staff room. _Oh my god, what did I just say…Kazuya is going to kill me…_

Stepping out of the room, he paused when he saw Kazuya waiting for him in the hallway. Eijun walked over to him, thinking furiously.

"Hey, Eijun. Are you ok? What did the coach want?" Kazuya inquired.

Eijun rubbed the back of his head and shifted his feet. "He just wanted to talk to me about the game yesterday. My pitch count was pretty low, and they didn't score after the first inning. He seemed pleased."

"That's good, idiot. Why do you look so upset then?" _Is Ochiai in there? Did he say something?_

Eijun hung his head even further. "You're going to be so mad at me. I didn't mean to! I didn't realize I was doing it until it was too late!"

"What did you do, Eijun?" Now Kazuya was starting to get worried.

" _IkindatoldthecoachthatweweretryingtogotoKoshiensohecouldn'tleave."_ Eijun rattled out, turning around, away from Kazuya.

Fortunately for Kazuya's sanity he was able to speak Eijun pretty fluently, so he understood what he was saying. _Oh? Ohhh. Ohhhh!_

He walked over to his boy and laid his hand on his shoulder. "Eijun. It's ok, I'm not mad." Eijun looked up, hopefully.

"Really, I'm not. I'm surprised we've kept it secret for as long as we have, to tell you the truth, since so many of us knew." He pulled Eijun into a quick hug, mindful of where they were. "We'll talk about it more later, but I'm really fine with it, ok? We have to talk to Rei still, remember? Let's just wait here for her."

They waited together in silence, holding hands, until Rei came out of the staff room and motioned for them to follow her.

Kazuya and Eijun approached Rei's office with trepidation. She could be intimidating; having dealt with teenage boys for years, there wasn't much that got by her. Both Eijun and Kazuya adored her, she was the one who had recruited them, and they were _always_ going to be grateful to her for that. None of which made her any less frightening.

She opened the door to her office and stepped back, allowing them in.

"Sit down on the couch, boys, and let's talk." They walked into the room, and moved over to the couch against the wall. She had a seating area to one side, with a couch and chairs arranged around a table. It was much more informal than the chairs in front of the desk, but they were still apprehensive. They sat on the couch next to each other, while Rei sat in one of the armchairs.

"Now, we need to discuss a few things. First off, Sawamura-kun, I spoke to your mother earlier, and she has confirmed everything that Miyuki-kun told me this morning. I am glad that we were able to verify your story. I didn't think you were lying, Miyuki-kun, I just had to double check." Kazuya nodded, and grinned.

"I expected you to check. I wouldn't have told you about it otherwise." Rei shot him an annoyed glare.

"Sawamura-kun, I need to ask you a few questions. Miyuki-kun told me his side of the story, but I want to hear from you what's going on with you two."

Eijun started at the beginning, at the park where he first met Kazuya, and told his story. Rei listened attentively. When he was done, she commented. "That sounds like the plot of a really cliché manga. However, it seems to be true enough, so we will run with it.

"Anyway, you boys do need to be careful. There are people who would not only look down on you, but that would give you a hard time. Not everyone at this school is progressive, so please be aware of where you are. I know you think you are being discreet, but you really are not. I heard from several people that they thought you boys might be together before I found you. In fact, how do you think I even knew to look for you?

"Pay more attention. Please. I _do not_ want you to suffer any prejudice, nor do I want to have to deal with distraught staff members. Try to stay out of the janitor's closet; in fact, try to keep your physical contact to a minimum when you are in the Education section of the school. I know you will not drop this completely, but be careful. Could you imagine what would happen if Coach Oota walked in on you two? Or Ochiai?" They looked at each other and shuddered. They _had_ to be more careful, they really did.

"We will, Rei-chan. We were not trying that hard to hide it, we were just trying to not broadcast it to the world." Kazuya explained.

Rei laughed. "Well, that option's gone. There are plenty who don't know, but most will know soon or will figure it out. I am sure the gossipers have already grabbed the story; some of them saw me pull you two out of that closet. I thought you, Kazuya-kun, would be able to pull it off but if you're not even trying, your secret will be out before the weekend."

"We don't mind if people know, really, Rei-san." Eijun piped up. "We just mainly don't want anyone to think it will affect how we play, the decisions we make on the field, or accuse Kazuya of favoritism."

"That may be a problem you'll have to face." Rei frowned, briefly. "I know that neither I nor the coach is worried about those things, so you can take that as some comfort. Anyone that goes to either of us about it will hear the same thing. Just play your game the best way you know how, and it will all work out. Do expect some resistance and gossip, though, at least at first.

"That was the fun part. Here comes the part you are both going to _love_.

"We need to talk about being safe and smart." Rei smirked, and the boys both paled.

"We're not doing anything! We are being safe, we know what to do!" Kazuya sputtered out.

Rei continued to smirk. "Would you rather hear this from Coach Kataoka? He asked me to speak to you, but I'm sure he'd be happy to talk to you about it instead." _This is what you get for making me drag you out of that closet, you shameless brats._

Rei didn't think it was possible, but both boys got even paler. "No, we're good? Ok. Back to what I was saying. I'm not going to hit you over the head with this stuff, I think you probably know the basics, but here goes…" She talked about everything, from frottage to proper prep to sex, demonstrating the proper use of a condom, talking about self-care and being ready for whatever it is you chose to do. Fortunately for the boys, who were dying of embarrassment, she kept it quite clinical, not getting flustered, just relaying information. They paid close attention, finding themselves less embarrassed the more she spoke.

She spoke about love, about lust, about finding a balance, about making things work. Communication, she said, was key. Being truthful was always important, and letting the other know what you were and were not comfortable doing. She told them that whatever they chose to do, however far they chose to go was their decision. Nothing about their choices was anyone else's business, nor was it wrong, as long as they were both in agreement.

 _Smart and Safe_ were her key words, and she drilled them into the pair. When she was done, she handed them each a bag. "Don't open them now, just take it with you."

"Do you have any questions?" She asked.

Kazuya spoke up, still dazed and slightly cowed. "Not really, that was pretty comprehensive. How do you know all of this?"

"There are one hundred boys on this team. In this all-boys dorm. Trust me, you two are not the first, nor will you be the last. So _do not_ be surprised that we are not surprised. In addition, no one chooses to talk to the coach rather than me. Absolutely. No. One." Rei replied matter-of-factly.

"I guess we're done here. Remember what I said, and please be careful. You're young, take your time."

They thanked her, took their bags and left.

They didn't speak at all, walking side by side across the courtyard to the dorms, clutching their bags, still slightly stunned and overwhelmed.

As they passed near the vending machines, they heard someone laughing. Looking over, they saw it was Kuramochi sitting on the bench with Ryou, laughing as if he was going to die. He pointed at them, and laughed some more. "You look like you've been hit by a bus! Rei caught you, didn't she? BWAHAHAHAHA!"

Ryou patted his shoulder. "You need to stop. While it is amusing, we do not want to broadcast it to the world. Plus, as I recall, you looked more dazed when she was done with us than they do." He smiled blandly at his boyfriend who was desperately trying to stop choking.

Kuramochi shot him a look of betrayal. "Ryou! You weren't supposed to tell them!" He managed to get out.

"My apologies, then. Please forget I said anything about his abject embarrassment." Ryou smirked.

Kazuya just blinked at the exchange, but Eijun had recovered enough to be vastly amused, although he didn't dare show it. "Thank you, Onii-san-senpai. Have a good evening, we'll see you both in the morning."

He grabbed his boyfriend and dragged him to Kazuya's room. Closing the door behind them, Eijun collapsed on the bed. Kazuya collapsed beside him. They looked at each other and just laughed. They could not help it; the whole evening had been so strange.

"Did you see Mochi's face, Ei? He looked like he was choking on his tongue!"

"I know, and Ryou? He's evil, man, throwing his boyfriend under the bus like that!" Eijun chortled, getting a kick out of someone taking his roommate down a peg or two. "But he's going to be ruthless when I go back."

"Maybe I can talk to him?" Kazuya offered.

Eijun shrugged. "Maybe? If you want to. More importantly, what do you think is in these bags?"

"Wait." Kazuya said, putting his hand over Eijun's. "I think I know what's in there. You may want to open it later."

"Naw, I'll do it now, see what it is." Eijun gingerly unrolled the top of the bag and peeked in. His face turned red, but he didn't seem too distressed. "It's what I thought, condoms and lube. Not a big surprise, with what she was talking about." He closed up the bag and glanced at Kazuya. "You alright? I'm hungry; do you think we can bum some food off the cafeteria ladies? We didn't have supper."

Kazuya snorted. "You're unusually calm about this, Ei." He reached over and rubbed Eijun's head. "Why aren't you more flustered?"

Eijun grinned at him, grabbing his hand and threading their fingers together. "I've been out to my family for _years_ , Kazu. You think that Rei was bad, imagine that talk from my grandfather. That was embarrassing and all kinds of wrong. Then when they found out I was coming here, and you were here already? Even more talking, and supplies. Kazu, whenever we do decide that we want to have sex, we have enough for a long, long time. And, I know they'll keep sending them, my parents are like that." Kazuya looked down at their joined hands thoughtfully.

"I'm not…I'm not sure how I feel about that, Ei. I guess it's maybe because my father has never cared about me enough to worry about stuff like that? I don't know. I mean, I am glad your parents are accepting, supportive. Maybe I'm a bit envious that I don't have that support system. I think, though, in the end, I'm happy that they're like that, that they're willing to give us a chance, that they do whatever it takes to make sure you're alright." He gazed at his boyfriend, a soft, sad smile on his face.

The smile gave way to a smirk as he continued. "I'm also very glad it was you on the receiving end of that lecture from your grandfather. That had to suck!"

"It did, Kazu, you have no idea. He had a book with pictures and a banana and everything. It was scary, almost put me off the idea forever." Eijun chuckled. "Oh! I'll bet he'll want to talk to you, too, when we go visit. I can ask him if you'd like." Kazuya blanched, Eijun roared.

"You're evil, brat. What happened to my nice, slightly stupid boyfriend?" Kazuya whined. "When did he morph into this twisted creature?"

"Thank you." Eijun wheezed out between guffaws.

Kazuya pouted and Eijun laughed even harder. Trying to get himself under control, he hugged Kazuya, who stiffened in his arms. He stopped laughing and sobering, leaned his forehead on his boyfriend's chest. "Don't be mad at me, Kazu." Eijun lifted his head to look his boy in the eyes, and laid a hand gently on his cheek, leaning in to kiss him, softly. Kazuya caved and leaned into the hug and the kiss, lifting his hand to comb through Eijun's hair. Pulling apart, they smiled at each other.

"Let's go find some food, you bottomless pit." Kazuya snarked, rubbing Eijun's head.

 _From: Me(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: Zono-senpai(mazonok )_

 _Zono-senpai-_

 _Miyuki told me what happened with you two this morning, and I wanted to make sure that you know that I am all right, that I'm neither blind to his faults nor unaware of the risks._

 _You see, I've known him pretty much all of my life, I know what he is underneath the sarcasm and the sneer. I've always considered him my best friend, even when we weren't in contact. Maybe that is naïve of me, but that is the truth._

 _I've loved him since I was five. I believe he loves me as well._

 _If, however, I am mistaken, I will be ok. I won't be good, but I'll be ok. Eventually._

 _However, I'm sure I'm not mistaken. I don't think I've ever been so sure of something in my life._

 _Anyway, I wanted to reassure you, and to thank you for being worried about me. You're a great senpai, unlike certain tanuki bastards I could name._

 _If you have any questions, or feel like something is bothering you about this situation, please just ask._

 _-Eijun._


	26. Unexpected Repercussions

Tuesday and Wednesday went as most do, pop quizzes and practice for Eijun, busywork and practice for Kazuya. Practices were difficult, there were only a few days until the final two games and they knew that they had to do as much as they could for the next few days, that they'd be taking it a little easier the days before the weekend.

Wednesday found Eijun walking down the hallway, looking out the window at one of the playing fields behind the school. It was a beautiful fall day, the sky a brilliant blue without a cloud in sight. In the field, there was a group of boys playing soccer, badly. It was the second years. Some were worse than others, but it amused Eijun to no end to see that the worst of the players was none other than his boy. He laughed so hard at him that they all heard it through the open window, stopping to glare at Eijun.

"Good thing you're a better catcher than you are a soccer player, Miyuki Kazuya! You suck!" He laughed, almost falling out of the window in his amusement. Kazuya didn't reply, just stared at the pitcher in the window.

"If you fall out of that window, Sawamura, I'm going to kick your ass!" Eijun heard a voice above him. Looking up, he saw it was Jun leaning on the windowsill. "You second years really stink! I don't know what you think you're doing out there, but we should seriously have a talk about your abilities."

The second years all stopped playing, looking up at the window. Kuramochi asked, "Is that Masuko-senpai up there? The one that's looking like a rice bun?"

"Shut it, you idiot!" Jun yelled. 'Don't make me come down there!"

"Come on down, you're no better at soccer than we are!"

"I'll be right—" suddenly an arm reached out and yanked Jun back into the hallway. Immediately afterwards, Yuuki's head appeared at the window.

"You kouhai wouldn't be starting trouble with your senpai, would you?" He asked, pleasantly.

Eijun shivered. The second years all yelled their denials, bowing their heads.

"Good. Now go back to sucking at soccer, you lot." Yuuki disappeared from the window.

Eijun just stood there and snickered.

Suddenly, Yuuki's disembodied voice rang out. "Sawamura, quit standing around and get to class. You'd better not be late, you hear me?" Eijun quickly stopped laughing, let out a small yelp, and went to class.

With the knowledge that they were not quite as secret as they'd thought, Eijun and Kazuya found themselves both more open and more unsettled. It was a strange situation, one neither of them was happy with. Even though everyone seemed to know that they were together, there were no more make out sessions in the janitor's closet or in the equipment shed, they felt super conspicuous even going into Kazuya's room alone together. They had spent no time alone together since Monday afternoon, and they'd slept apart since then. Neither one of them knew what to do about the situation, nor were they talking to each other to figure it out. There was no way that this could continue; something was going to have to break. The first one to do so, and the one who did in the most hurtful way possible, was Kazuya.

That afternoon at practice, Kazuya's temper was on the knife's edge; he successfully snarked enough that even Furuya felt it, poking at everyone who came within range. The target of much of his frustration and irritation was a certain loud-mouthed pitcher, who'd started the ball rolling with his mockery that afternoon, and who continued to irritate just by being his usual loud, energetic self.

"Oi, Sawamura! You need to work on that change-up, it's still not right. You don't have the control you need, and if you don't get that down you won't be any help at all this weekend."

"I know, Miyuki Kazuya! Why do you think I'm asking you to catch my pitches?" Eijun roared back, just as irritated.

Kazuya snarked, "I don't know, idiot. You tell me. I'm not catching anything of yours until you pitch to the net for a while." Eijun glared at the catcher, not backing down.

"I don't need to pitch to the net, you shitty senpai! I need to figure out the best way to use the change-up. If you won't catch for me, I can find someone else to do it!"

"Bakamura. Pitch to the net, I'm not going to subject anyone else to your crappy control. You don't need to pitch to anyone until you've figured that out." He pitched his voice low, tone cutting, "How is it that you still don't understand? Do I need to remind you about _what happens when your control goes to shit?_ " Kazuya saw Eijun pale and take a step back, caught the flash of hurt in Eijun's eyes, and realized what he was doing _. Ahhh…so I do still have the ability to go for the jugular. That's not good, I need to get this back under control._

"Sawamura. If you can find someone who's willing to catch for you, go ahead. I'm working with Furuya today; he's still not up to par yet. You should work on your control, though, the height of those pitches is important, when they're too high they're extremely easy to hit." _I'm sorry, Eijun. I think we need to talk. Tonight. We have to get this figured out, we're just hurting each other._

Hearing the dismissal in his captain's voice, Eijun turned around and walked away, not even responding to the slight olive branch Kazuya had extended. Kazuya sighed and turned his attention to Furuya.

Eijun spoke to Kariba, who agreed to catch for him; he really did want to work on his change-up. He agreed with Kazuya's assessment, he control was not where he wanted it to be, but he was both a little hurt and a little surprised at the way Kazuya dug into him, the tone and the derisive attitude was unexpected. Not new, not something he hadn't heard or seen in the past, but not recently. _Apparently, this weirdness is getting to him, too. We need to talk. Tonight. We can't go on like this; we're both hurting._

Practice continued normally, with one exception—much less yelling from the bullpen. Eijun was subdued, concentrating on his pitch and thinking too much about what was going on with Kazuya, hurting more than he'd imagined was possible from his words. Everyone was glad for the lowering in volume, at least at first. After a while, it was enervating, too reminiscent of the time not too long ago when they'd lost Eijun to his insecurities and the yips. Kuramochi was, naturally, the one who was appointed (forced, if you asked him!) to talk to Kazuya.

"Hey, Miyuki. Wait up a second." Kuramochi hailed Kazuya after practice on the way to the locker room.

Kazuya stopped, knowing exactly what was going to be said, but in a bad enough mood that he didn't mind watching it play out, willing to snark at his friend as much as he could get away with. "Hey, Mochi. What's up?"

"You tell me. What's going on with Sawamura? He's been so quiet today. Did you do something to him?"

"Really? You'd think that you'd be glad that Noisymura was quiet. I didn't do anything but remind him that his control sucks, and send him off to the net. Why are you worried about him, anyway? Shouldn't you be worried about getting used to Haruichi, instead? You guys need to communicate better." Kazuya smirked, perfectly crafted for maximum impact, maximum irritation.

Kuramochi was not having any of it. "Listen, asshole. Don't try any of your deflection or nastiness on me, I've known you too long, I'm immune. Drop the bullshit and tell me what's going on."

Kazuya tried one more time. "What makes you think anything is wrong? Everything's normal. I'm fine, we're fine."

"Bullshit. You're not fine. _He's not fine_. You _were_ fine, but you're not now. What happened?"

Finally, Kazuya caved. "I don't know, Mochi." He sat down hard on an empty crate. "I just don't know. Everything's gone wonky since people started finding out about us. I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of us, but it just feels strange now that it's out there. I don't even know how to explain. It's as if I'm suddenly really self-conscious, second-guessing everything. I'm miserable; I miss Eijun even though we're in the same space. I think we need to hash it out between us but all I seem to be able to do is snark at him, which is not helping."

"Sounds like you do know what's going on, Miyuki; you just have to do what you need to. You may have some apologizing to do, but to tell you the truth, Sawamura's as bad off as you are; it's not just you. You both need to figure out what you want, what you're willing to share, and what you need from each other. Together. As a pair, couple, whatever. You two are insanely, nauseatingly sweet together and I know you love him, just as he loves you. So fix this, whatever's going on. It's up to you to make the move this time; he's chased your raggedy ass enough, don't you think? It's your turn, pumpkin, and in the immortal words of some person or another, 'Don't fuck it up!'."

Kazuya snorted. "You're right; I need to talk to him. I'll figure out something, grab him after dinner. Do me a favor, and keep him occupied, would you? I'm going to take care of a few things first."

"Sure, I've got some moves I've not used on him yet, I'll be happy to try them out."

"I'd like my boyfriend to remain in one piece, if you don't mind. Just keep him in the cafeteria where I can find him. Please."

"Where's the fun in that? Okay, okay…I'll be nice and make sure he stays in the dining hall."

"Thank you, Mochi. I doubt he'll be back in the room tonight, if you want to have company."

Kuramochi laughed. "That's a very, very good idea. Thank _you_ , Miyuki."

They smirked at each other, satisfied that their plans were set.

After taking a shower, Kazuya headed to the cafeteria, wanting to chat with the cafeteria ladies before dinner. He walked into the kitchen area and greeted the cooks, introducing him and asking about their day, charming them, as he was able to charm most adults when he put his mind to it. He moved through the kitchen to the head cook's office; she was the one he needed to speak with.

He introduced himself to her, and explained what was going on, asking her if she could help. She, of course, loved Eijun and was willing to help him out with what he needed. He gathered his supplies and moved on to the next part of his plan, setting things up. He'd settled on a location and moved quickly to get ready. While he was in the cafeteria, he'd grabbed a sandwich, and he ate while he prepared. He didn't want to make Kuramochi work too hard to keep Eijun corralled.

It was dark by the time he was done. The sky was clear and calm, and a cool wind was blowing. There wouldn't be many more nights that they could be outside and comfortable this year, tonight was one of the last. If they needed tree time, coats and a blanket to sit on would soon be required. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. _I hope this is enough…it should be enough. I think we just need to talk, to be together and figure this out. I don't think either of our feelings have changed, I just think it's how we deal with the outside that's changing, and we need to communicate about it. First, I need to apologize._

Walking to the cafeteria, he peeked through the window on the door and saw Eijun trying to get up to leave, with Kuramochi holding him down. Signaling, Kazuya got Kuramochi's attention, and he finally let Eijun go. Kazuya slipped to one side of the door where Eijun couldn't see him, and waited for him to exit.

Eijun was completely done with this day. He was tired from practice, he was both upset and hurt by what Kazuya said earlier, he missed his boyfriend, he was lonely and just wanted to get away to think. He knew what the problem was, but he had no idea how to even approach it, let alone solve it. It wasn't something he could solve himself, but his catcher didn't even show up for dinner, so he was at a loss. He'd just wanted to eat and go when Kuramochi started in on him, not even waiting until he got back to the room. _I'm just so tired, and I have no idea where Kazuya went. I know we need to talk, but if I can't find him, I don't know what else to do…he was so sharp the today, so, so cutting and I am not sure how to deal with that. I've gotten out of the habit of shielding. It hurts. More than I thought it could._

He stepped out of the cafeteria and started down the walkway. He'd only gotten a few steps when he heard someone call his name softly. He stopped and turned, spotting Kazuya leaning against the wall. He looked as exhausted as Eijun felt, his eyes cloudy and dark.

"Eijun." Kazuya repeated himself, speaking softly. "Would you please come with me?" He reached out his hand, offering it to Eijun.

Eijun was tempted to refuse, tempted to make some sarcastic remark and storm off, but he really didn't have the energy. Nor did it make any sense, when all he wanted to do was to talk to Kazuya, to get this situation sorted. Therefore, instead of making some grandly futile gesture, he nodded quietly and took the offered hand. Together they walked to the practice fields in silence. This, though, this was not their usual comfortable silence; there were too many questions, too much emotion to be comfortable. But Eijun didn't want to break it, didn't want to start an argument. He was unsure of himself and Kazuya, and hated the feeling. Hated that feeling more than anything he'd ever felt.

Kazuya led them to the middle of the outfield, where he'd laid out a blanket in the grass. There was also a basket and a few other things around the blanket, but Eijun didn't notice any of it, he'd kept his eyes downcast the whole time.

"Eijun. First, before I say anything else, I want to apologize. I had no reason to speak to you that way. I am _so_ sorry for mistreating you and I am very sorry that I hurt you. It was never my intention to cause you pain, I am beyond sorry." He looked at Eijun, who was still looking at the ground. "Eijun, please look at me, _please_?"

Eijun raised his head, and looked at Kazuya. His boyfriend was shocked to see the light gone from those beautiful sunshine eyes, dimmed into almost non-existence. "I don't know, Kazuya. I'm so tired. I'm _exhausted_. I don't know what to do, how to help, and I'm feeling so lost. I mean, we're not even really fighting, but you've never felt more distant." His eyes started to well up, emotion overtaking the exhaustion. "I can't believe how much what you said hurt. You've said so much worse to me before and I was fine then. It's not like anything you said wasn't true. It was just...the derision, the tone, it hurt. It hurt so much. I've gotten out of the habit of letting what you say roll off my back and stopped guarding myself. I don't know how to get that back."

"Oh, Ei." Kazuya felt his eyes fill as well. "I am such an asshole. I've never, _ever_ wanted to hurt you. You're the last person I would want to hurt. I took all of my frustration and all of my irritation out on you, and you _did not_ deserve that. I don't want you to have to guard yourself against me; I don't want you to wall yourself off. How can I help? How can I make you feel better?"

"I'm not sure, to be honest." Eijun sighed. "But would you please hold me? I've been so lonely; I've missed you so much. Hugging's probably a good place to start."

Kazuya gently pulled Eijun to himself, wrapping his arms around his torso, carding his hand through his hair. "I've missed you so much. These last few days have been rough; we have so many things we need to talk about. But for now, can I just hold you? Would that be all right with you?" Eijun, who had his head buried in Kazuya's neck, just nodded emphatically. Kazuya chuckled softly, heart lighter than it had been in days. "Do you want to lie down on the blanket? We can just stay here if you'd rather."

Eijun lifted his head. "There's a blanket?" He looked around and noticed the things Kazuya had spread out for them. "When did you do this?" He looked at Kazuya, curious. Kazuya was glad to see that some of the clouds had cleared from his eyes—they weren't completely clear, but they were better.

"During dinner. I wanted to bring you out here so we could talk. I thought that maybe you'd like to lie in the grass and watch the stars with me, like we used to. It's not going to be warm enough for us to do this much longer, at least not without coats, so I figured tonight would be a good time. But we can do something else if you want."

"No, this is fine. I'd like to watch the stars with you." Kazuya tugged him back in for a close hug, dropping a kiss on his temple.

"Ok." He lowered himself onto the blanket, pulling Eijun to rest on his shoulder. "Let me know if you're uncomfortable, all right?"

Eijun nodded, his hand playing with the buttons on Kazuya's shirt. Voice timid and hesitant, he whispered, "Kazu? Please don't do that again. I don't like feeling like this, I don't like being uncertain about where I stand with you. It hurts too much."

"First of all, and most importantly, I need to make one thing very clear to you. Eijun, you never have to question where you stand with me. _Ever_. You're the one thing in my life I'm totally sure about, and I love you. I always have. As far as I can tell, that's never gonna change. I can't promise not to go back to my old ways, I can't promise not to say something hurtful, but I can promise that I love you, and even if for some reason we break up, you will always be my best friend. So, again, never question where you stand with me. You stand _with me_ , beside me and inside me.

"I wish I could swear that I'll never say anything painful again, but I don't ever want to lie to you. I might, in fact I probably will. I'll do everything I can to avoid doing so, but sometimes I just don't think, sometimes I'm beyond frustrated or irritated, and then my default is to go for blood. I can tell you this, though. I love you more than anything, and if I can figure out some way to stop it, I'll do it. I told you a while ago that I was not a good person; if I was I would probably let you go rather than taking the chance that I'd hurt you again. But I've discovered I don't want to ever not have you in my life, and I'll only let you go if you want me to do so."

Eijun relaxed into Kazuya. "Thank you for being honest with me, Kazuya. I love you, too, really I do. I don't even want to try to close myself off from you, and I definitely don't want to break up. However, we should see if we can avoid this in the future, it's no fun. Let's start with this. When did you begin to get irritated? What was the start?" He put his head on Kazuya's chest, listening to his heartbeat, monitoring his breathing.

"Let me see…I've been on edge since Monday night. Things between us have been weird, and I don't know how to fix them. I've missed spending time with you so much, but I don't feel right being demanding and I don't want to make you uncomfortable. It's like living under a microscope, knowing that all these people are watching and judging you, based on a relationship. But that's not even true, really. I don't actually think everyone is watching us or judging us, it's all in my head. So there's that.

"And then this afternoon with the soccer. I guess it's just because of everything else, but your mockery—that I deserve, I do suck—really got to me, I mean it hurt. It doesn't make sense, but I remember thinking that it wasn't fair, all I could do was think about how damned much I missed you, and you were over there laughing at me as if nothing had changed, as if nothing was bothering you. That's what was going on in my head when practice started. Things went downhill rapidly afterwards."

Eijun lifted his head up and rolled onto his stomach, trapping his boyfriend's arm underneath him. Raising himself onto his elbows, he looked directly into Kazuya's eyes. "Oh wow. Oh, Kazuya. I had no idea, I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you; I didn't even stop to think that you were bothered by that. It seems like we've been on the same page, even when we didn't know it. I've wanted nothing more than to spend time with you, I've missed seeing you so badly, but I didn't want to do something that you don't want, to ask you for anything you aren't willing to give. I've missed you so terribly, terribly much, but things have seemed so uncertain between us recently that I didn't feel like I had the right to seek you out.

"Truthfully, it hurt a little to see you out there playing soccer like you weren't bothered by anything. I watched you for a while before I yelled; you looked like you were having a great time without a care in the world, and that upset me. I ache whenever I look you, and you seemed to be totally fine with what was happening."

He lifted his hand to brush back Kazuya's hair from his forehead, softly ruffling his hair. Kazuya caught his hand and pressed a kiss in the middle of it, thinking hard. Decision made, he pulled away from Eijun and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Eijun looked confused.

Kazuya held out his hand to help Eijun up. "It's where _we're_ going. Let's leave this stuff for later, right now I think we need something else." Eijun put his hand in Kazuya's and allowed himself to be pulled up. He had a good idea where they were going, and he agreed completely. The stargazing, and whatever else Kazuya had planned, could wait, they needed to hash stuff out first. For the first time in days, he felt a real smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

Together, finally in some sort of accord, they walked to their tree. Kazuya sat down against the trunk, and unceremoniously pulled Eijun into his lap, straddling his legs. Wrapping his arms around his boy, Kazuya let out a sigh of relief, a prayer of thanks to whichever god was listening, that he was able to hold him like this again.

Eijun melted into him, head on shoulder, arms around waist. "I cannot believe how much I've missed you. This is crazy, really. It's not as if you went on some great dangerous quest and was gone for years, it's literally been two days. _Two fucking days_ , Kazu. What's with that?"

"I know, right? It's really weird. I think, maybe, it's a couple of things. We're still pretty new to this, so to speak, we've only really been together for a week and a half. So there's that, the newness hasn't worn off yet, the bonding is still happening. At some point we'll reach equilibrium, I'm sure. Add in the uncertainty that both of us has been feeling and I think you have what's going on.

"We do need to talk about this, though, Ei. We're both hurting. We know what we don't want; we don't want to feel like this. What do we want? What do you want? What can we do to fix this?"

Eijun snuggled deeper into Kazuya. "Want you. Want this. Don't wanna talk, wanna snuggle. Please? Just for a bit. We'll talk, but give me this first, please. I'm tired of thinking; I just want to feel you with me." Kazuya chuckled, content.

"Sure, take as much time as you'd like. I'm good here." He checked his phone. "It's not even eight yet, it's still early." He relaxed against the tree, into his boy, and they sat there, feeling for the first time in days that things were going to be all right.

After a while, Eijun started talking. He spoke about how he'd been feeling and what he wanted, about the problems of being on display, and the problems of not being together. He told Kazuya everything he was thinking, _every_ thing he was feeling, not holding back at all. He cried and he laughed, he voiced his fear of abandonment and his faith in Kazuya, his love of both baseball and his boy. He didn't move from his position, he didn't gesticulate or pace, he just spoke. He spoke about his dreams of the future, of his hopes for tomorrow, of them finding a place in the world, being together, being partners for life. He wondered why they'd been so affected by the word of them getting out, wondered where the lack of trust in each other had snuck in, wondered if there was something lacking, something they needed to do. He expressed his thoughts as they came to him, a stream of consciousness that left Kazuya speechless and overwhelmed.

When the words finally stopped, petered out, they sat there in silence for a while. Kazuya took his time processing everything he'd heard, parsing it all out in his head. This was too important to rush, to vital to treat lightly.

He started out slowly, carefully. Kazuya wanted to make sure what he said was correct, was the truth, as he knew it to be. He didn't allow himself to just speak; he needed to communicate what he was feeling without any doubts or hesitation.

"Eijun, first of all, please _never doubt I love you_. That is something you can always depend on, that you can trust. I want nothing more than to be with you, however, whenever, where ever you will have me. In the short time we've been together, you've become my world. Actually, that's not true, in some ways you've been my world since we were five. As much as I tried to get beyond you, forget you, you really were never far from my thoughts."

Starting from that point, Kazuya attempted to repay Eijun's honesty with his own. Detailing how he'd been feeling, telling him about how unsettled he'd been recently, about how upset he was with the distance between them, about how he worried that Eijun would get tired of his nastiness and snark. He spoke about the little part of him that was just waiting for that to happen, that there was part of him that couldn't accept the idea that Eijun wouldn't eventually figure out that he was no good. Next, he told of his dreams, of his hopes for a future, for them to be together, to find refuge with each other. His vision that they could become each other's home, that wherever they went, as long as they were together, they would need nothing else. He explained his dismay at feeling exposed to the world, at the thought that they would be dissected and judged by those who had no right to do so, and his fear that the pressure would cause them to rupture, that at some point Eijun would have enough. Eventually he ran down, and they sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Listen carefully, Kazuya." Eijun started, sitting up, eyes focused on Kazuya's. He wanted to make his position absolutely clear. "I love you. I will never just get tired of you and leave. I won't. I've been chasing you for _years_ , remember? I know how nasty you can get; I've been on the receiving end of it often enough. Usually, it doesn't bother me, but I agree that with everything else going on, I just wasn't capable of handling one more thing. We both are at fault for letting it get this far, and I, again, have to apologize for my part in this. So now that we both know what the other is thinking, what do you think we can do to fix this?"

"I think there are a few things we can do, and there are some things I'd like to figure out how to do, things I really want to do. First, we have to talk. It's important that we make the time to tell each other how we're feeling on a regular basis—probably daily—at least for now, at least until this thing settles for us and becomes the norm. That's the biggest thing, as far as I can tell.

"We also need to figure out what we're comfortable with others knowing or seeing. We came to a dead stop, rather than talking about what works, and that's not good. There may be a time when we won't care at all, but for now, I guess we just have to figure it out as we go. It all comes down to communication, which has completely shut down over the last couple of days."

Eijun sighed, leaning into Kazuya again. "You're absolutely right. We have to learn that no matter what's going on, talking is important. Neither of us is a mind reader, and we both tend to keep things inside, not wanting to bother the other. I remember something that I learned in therapy, something that we could both use. _It's not a bad thing to ask where you stand, for clarification of what's happening. Also, it's never a weakness to need reassurance; we all do sometimes._ So if you're unsure, if you're feeling insecure, please ask me whatever it is you need to know, and I'll try to do the same. As long as we're honest and making the effort to talk, we should be fine.

"I do agree that this whole fishbowl feeling is creepy, but we can't let it control us. It doesn't need to; we just have to make sure it doesn't. Together."

Kazuya hummed in agreement. Eijun sat up and cupped Kazuya's face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs over his cheekbones. "I just really want to kiss you right now. Would that be all right?"

"If you don't, you'll officially be the worst boyfriend ever." Kazuya leaned into his touch, grinning slightly.

Eijun matched his grin. "Well, that would be both a shame and a travesty; we can't possibly allow _that_ to happen." He leaned into Kazuya, softly slotting their lips together on a sigh, on a feeling of relief, a feeling that this was where he belonged. Kazuya responded, feeling whole for the first time in days, knowing that this was the only place he wanted to be. He deepened the kiss a little, not enough to throw it over into erotic territory, just enough to make it serious, a kiss of intent. Eijun responded, matching intention with commitment.

Eventually, they parted, eyes meeting, each glad to see the exhaustion gone from the other's face, to see clear eyes returning their gaze.

"Kazu, shall we go watch the stars now? It looked like you had something great planned for us."

"I think so, Ei, I think we've done what we could for now. Let's go."

Eijun stood, holding out his hand for Kazuya, who took it. Standing, he slid his arm around Eijun's neck, tucking him close to his side.

Eijun wrapped his arm around Kazuya's waist, and holding tightly to each other, they walked to the blanket under the stars.

 _From: Me(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: BastardKazuya(miyukik )_

 _Kazuya-_

 _This is something else I think we've neglected. We've not been emailing like we used to, and I miss it, so I'm going to start it up again._

 _I know I'm sleeping with you tonight, but I still think this is important._

 _Thank you for the star watching party tonight, it was awesome._

 _The hot chocolate and cupcakes were great—I told you it was a good idea to make friends with the cafeteria ladies._

 _The fact that you remembered something we used to do, that it was important enough to you to remember, is amazing._

 _I love you._

 _I don't know that anyone's ever told you that enough._

 _I love you._

 _You are a wonderful person._

 _You are._

 _It doesn't mean you're not a manipulative tanuki and a shitty senpai, because you are._

 _But you're also a great person and a great friend._

 _I don't know if you'll see this tonight, but I'm running in the morning if you want to join me. I'll even leave my tire in the shed if you do._

 _Something you don't know about me:_

 _I honestly can't think of a thing. If I do, I'll let you know._

 _Sleep well, Kazuya-senpai._

 _I love you._

 _Eijun_


	27. Dead Balls and Ochiai and Safe Words

Thursday morning dawned overcast, with rain threatening. Eijun woke to his alarm, rolling over and snuggling up to Kazuya, burying his nose into the back of his boy's neck. He closed his eyes and drifted for a few minutes, just content and happy to be in the same bed with him. He knew he needed to get up and run, but he was so comfortable he really didn't want to move. He felt Kazuya stir under his arm, nestling backwards into his warmth.

"I don't wanna get up, Ei." He mumbled, burying his face in the pillow.

Eijun smiled into his neck. "You just sleep, senpai." He tightened his arms for a second, and dropped a quick kiss on his head, whispering, "I love you, sweet dreams."

Quietly, he put on his running gear, and slipped out of the door.

Walking down to the practice field, he breathed deeply, filling his lungs and clearing his mind. He _needed_ to run, needed to think. He knew that while his body was occupied his mind would work much better, and he wanted to get everything inside his brain in order. The last few days had been rough, and he needed time to sort it all out.

The sky was still dark, the lowering clouds blocking the sunrise, but it was light enough for Eijun to make his way to the field. He stretched a little (not enough, his inner Chris-Senpai lectured), and started a slow jog, letting his body work while his mind flowed. He ran several laps, feeling the pull in his muscles, the tired stretch of his body as it warmed up, just breathing. When he was warm, when his movements were sure and almost reflexive, he let his mind drift, let the previous day's emotions and actions, both good and bad, flow through him. He allowed himself to feel it all again, to process the hurt, to understand the causes and to make the conscious effort to let go—even though he already had forgiven—so that there wouldn't be anything festering, anything that could cause problems.

He ran. He ran until he'd gotten through the days before, until he felt like he had a handle on what had happened. He didn't notice that it started to sprinkle while he ran, the dampness in the air mixing with the dampness on his cheeks. When he finally stopped, he realized that he was starving, so he walked back to the dorms and to his room, changing into clean clothes. He stopped by Kazuya's room on his way to the cafeteria, but he was still sound asleep, so he closed the door quietly and went downstairs alone.

As he walked into the cafeteria, he had an idea. He spoke to the ladies in the back, who provided him with a bag of curry buns and some juice boxes. Thanking them, and promising to come back for a real visit soon, he left, taking his haul with him. He made a quick stop in his room to grab something out of the closet before climbing the stairs to his boyfriend's room, letting himself in quietly. Moving stealthily around the room, he spread out a blanket on the floor, setting out their breakfast. When he got everything arranged as he wished, he crawled over to the bed, climbing in and snuggling up behind Kazuya. Softly he kissed his cheek, rubbing his arm gently.

"It's time to wake up, Kazu." Kazuya just groaned, rolling over and burying his face in Eijun's chest. Eijun laughed.

"You're so cute, Lazyuki. It's time to get up, time for breakfast." He stroked Kazuya's back in circles, smiling at the top of his head.

Kazuya shook his head, "Donwanna, Ei." He burrowed into Eijun, refusing to open his eyes. "Sleepy. You sleep too. Comfy." Eijun melted, curling up with him.

"Ok, Kazu, but just for a few minutes. Breakfast is getting cold." He rested his head on Kazuya's, relaxing into him. He felt the catcher start to stir, moving around as he regained consciousness. Watching closely, he saw his eyes slowly open, his brain beginning to come alive, synapses firing. Eijun smiled at him, loving the sight of sleepy Kazuya. Half-awake, he leaned up and gave Eijun a kiss, murmuring a soft, "Good morning, Brat."

"Good morning, Kazu." He hugged him briefly before sitting up. "I brought breakfast; I didn't want to eat alone."

Kazuya turned his head enough so that he could see the spread on the floor. "You brought us a picnic?" He asked, surprised.

"Yeah, I thought we could eat together in here. There's no practice this morning, and I know you don't have class this week. I wanted to spend some time with you, if that's okay."

"Oh, Ei, I always want to spend time with you. Here, just let me get up, and we'll eat." Eijun got off the bed and sat on the ground, leaning against the bed frame. Kazuya slid off the mattress straight into Eijun's lap, startling a chuckle out of the pitcher. Still drowsy, Kazuya buried his face in Eijun's chest, boneless, resting comfortably. "Love you, Ei-chan," He muttered, sleepily. "Can't believe we're having a picnic on the floor."

"Well, we could have it on the bed, but you were sleeping. And crumbs." He rubbed Kazuya's spine, massaging each vertebra as he walked his fingers up his back.

Kazuya sighed, still sleepy but feeling more _awake_ by the second and not terribly surprised that he was also feeling more _aroused_ by the second. It had been a while since they'd been alone together, and they hadn't done _anything_ since the Ouya game. He moved against Eijun, and felt his response. Sitting up, he looked at his boyfriend, who refused to meet his eyes. "Eijun. Look at me." He coaxed, "Please?"

Eijun slowly met his gaze, desire and chagrin clearly warring for dominance. "What's wrong, brat?"

"I just…I feel bad. You're barely awake, and I'm…and we haven't really settled any of that stuff, and I just—" Eijun stopped, shrugging his shoulders and turned his eyes back down, fingering the frayed hem of Kazuya's shirt.

Kazuya cupped Eijun's face in his hands, lifting his chin. "Hey. It's ok. Listen to me. It's good. I'd be more upset if you didn't get turned on by me than I ever will that you do, Ei." He ground down lightly into his boy. "See? It's not just you. I want you, too."

Eijun met his eyes, and the spark of desire Kazuya found in them matched his own. Smiling softly, he ran his thumbs over Eijun's cheekbones. "There you are. It's good, Ei, remember? Whatever we want is _fine_. We agreed that we weren't ready for some stuff, but that didn't mean we couldn't do _other_ things. We never did decide on a safe word, would that make you feel better?" Kazuya watched him carefully, noting how Eijun relaxed at the mention before he agreed.

"I think so, yes. I just don't want to fuck this up, Kazu; I don't want to push you too far too fast."

"Trust me, Ei. If I don't want to do something, I won't. Now, what word could we use that would be a total mood killer?" He slid his hands down to rest on Eijun's waist.

Eijun thought about it for a few seconds. "I know, Kazu. Dead ball. That's the worst phrase in the world."

Kazuya laughed, he couldn't help it. "You would say that, idiot. I think we can come up with something better."

"Oh yeah, Bakazuya? What you got, then?" Eijun watched his boy skeptically.

Kazuya grinned and said, "Ochiai."

"Miyuki Kazuya!" Eijun looked shocked, then contemplative. "That's…that's actually pretty good. We can use it whenever we need to step back."

"Ok, so that's settled. I'm glad, because I really want to get to the making out part, if you don't mind."

Eijun spit out a laugh and leaned in, quietly murmuring, "I don't mind at all, Kazu."

They grinned as their lips met, this dance of tongue and heat intimate, welcome, familiar. Having been so self-conscious recently, they'd avoided this kind of kissing; kissing with intent, kissing that was a means to an end, not the end itself.

Moaning, tongues touching, hands roaming. Eijun slipped his hands under his boy's shirt, and Kazuya felt such an unexpected rush of relief, such a feeling of comfort that he broke the kiss and rested his head on Eijun's shoulder.

"What's wrong, Kazu?" Eijun asked, concerned. Kazuya shook his head, just relishing the feeling of Eijun's hands.

"I…I just didn't realize how much I missed your touch. Don't stop." Kazuya murmured, lifting up his head and nibbling his way up Eijun's neck.

Eijun bent his neck to give Kazuya better access, closing his eyes and enjoying the sensation. "Touch me too, Kazu. Please." Kazuya slid his hands under his shirt, and Eijun sighed, understanding exactly what Kazuya meant.

Grabbing the hem of his boyfriend's shirt, Eijun pulled it up and off, Kazuya sitting up to assist and to remove Eijun's. They leaned into each other, burying faces into bare shoulders, moaning with pleasure. "Kazu, god. We've gotta do this more."

"Yeah, Ei. We do." Hands roamed and fingers mapped bone, rubbed muscle, dipped under waistbands.

Eijun slid his hand down Kazuya's back, fingers moving, kneading, feeling. Diving in for a kiss, Kazuya rocked against his boy, seeking friction. Eijun spread his legs, lowering him off his lap, so that Kazuya's legs were hooked over Eijun's, aligning their lengths. Thrusting his hips forward, Kazuya rubbed himself against Eijun, and he ground back just as hard.

Kazuya reached down and slid his hand into Eijun's pants, thanking all the little gods that they were a couple of baseball idiots and lived in sweats, pushing them down far enough to release him. He was leaking, precum gathering. "I wanna do more to you, Ei, but later, ok? I think I want it too much."

Eijun groaned, "This is goo-holyfuck, yes." He reached down and freed Kazuya, touching, stroking, delighting in the feel of velvet skin and hard length.

Together, they moved, bringing each other closer to the edge. Panting into each other's mouths, tongues touching and retreating, moaning and sighing and loving, they moved.

Kazuya slid closer, putting his hand around both of their lengths, stroking them together. Eijun joined him, twining their hands together, encompassing both of their girths, reveling in the feeling of skin and friction. They thrust together, hips moving, mouths nipping mindlessly at necks and shoulders, sucking marks to be discovered later. Kazuya felt himself tense, felt his climax approaching quickly, and lifted his head.

"Ei…I'm gonna..." Eijun looked up, meeting his eyes. They were glazed over, so beautifully wrecked; it made Eijun realize how close he was.

"Me too, senpai." With a groan, Kazuya came, spurred on by the lust in his boyfriend's golden eyes, and an unexpected shiver of _something_ spurred by the honorific. Eijun came shortly thereafter, orgasm triggered by the sound and the feeling and the look in Kazuya's eyes.

When they'd both stopped pulsating, when they were nothing more than a pile of messy, spent boys, they sat for a few minutes in silence, gazing into each other's eyes. Kazuya reached over, grabbed his shirt and cleaned them both, throwing the dirty clothing in the direction of his hamper.

Reaching up, Kazuya pushed Eijun's hair out of his face, and spoke. "That was…god. I love you so damned much, Eijun. I was so afraid… scared that I'd ruined it somehow by pushing too far last time." He felt the prickle of tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

Eijun jerked a little, shocked. Reaching his hand up, he grabbed Kazuya's chin, pulling him in for a hard kiss. "What the fuck, Kazu? When are you going to see that I'm in this for the long haul? I love you, that doesn't change." Sighing, he softened his grip and cupped Kazuya's cheek. "I don't know how else to tell you, how to get you to believe it. I love you. I _love you_ , Miyuki Kazuya. Not some trumped up image of the perfect guy, you. You'd have to work pretty hard to change that. Could you please stop with the worrying about me changing my mind? It's not going to happen." He leaned his head on Kazuya's shoulder, just breathing in his scent. "I could get a tattoo, you know. A big one that says 'Property of Miyuki Kazuya' maybe right across my ass. Or a tramp stamp. Would that help?"

Kazuya let out a weary laugh. "Thanks for the offer, but no. Sorry…it just…I sometimes can't believe this, it feels like we're somehow fragile, something I'm going to break if I'm not super careful. I know you've said it a zillionty times, but I can't help it. I'm not used to good things happening to me."

"Oh, Kazu." Eijun melted, feeling _so bad_ for his boy. "I'm sorry, I should be better about this. It's okay that you feel like that, I'm just going to have to prove the truth to you. I'm…how do I say this…I'm working from my experiences and expecting yours to be the same. They're not, and that's fine, I'm sorry. Plus, I wanna tell you again, how sorry I am for my contribution to the mess that was yesterday. I NEVER want to make you think that you are unimportant or that I don't care." He pulled Kazuya close, running his hands along his back and into the hair at the nape of his neck.

Kazuya sighed and sat upright. "We could go back and forth about that all day, brat. We were both stupid for not talking. Let's leave it at that, ok? We're good, better than good." He leaned over and kissed Eijun, softly. "I love you, Sawamura Eijun, all of you."

Eijun grinned. "Then we _are_ good. Are you hungry?"

"Starving! What'd you bring?"

"Curry buns and juice. You want me to run and get you a can of coffee, Kazuya-senpai?" He sparkled at Kazuya.

Kazuya laughed, "Oh god, _Ei-chan_. No, I don't want you to go. Stop with the sparkles, dammit."

Eijun reached over and pulled the bag close. "Do you want to eat like this?" Kazuya nodded, comfortably seated with his boy in reach. Eijun grinned, and passed him a curry bun. "Oh good, they're still warm."

Taking a bite, Kazuya nodded. "They are, good thing neither of us last long." He observed, smirking.

Eijun agreed, "It _would_ be a shame to eat a cold breakfast."

They spent the rest of the time before class eating and drinking, talking and kissing.

Right before Eijun left to get dressed and grab his books, he snuggling up to Kazuya one last time.

"Before I leave, Kazu, I have something to give you. Close your eyes and put out your hands." Kazuya, looking confused, complied.

Eijun got something out of the bag that he'd brought up, and laid it in Kazuya's hands. "Happy fourteenth birthday, Kazu."

Kazuya opened his eyes and looked down. In his hand was a baseball with signatures on it. He recognized a few of them.

"Ei?" He questioned.

Eijun answered his unspoken question. "Our team went to a Nagano Grand Serows game, and we got to meet the team. I got them to autograph that for you for your birthday. I remember how we used to talk about wanting to go to a game when they moved to Nakano, but you left before we had the chance."

"Oh, Ei." Kazuya was floored. He didn't even know how to respond to this trust, this _faith_ that Eijun had that they'd meet again, two years after he'd left and more than a year after he stopped answering his emails. He felt his eyes well up, tears ready to fall.

"How…how could you even think to do this? We hadn't communicated in over a year, why would you even consider getting this for me?" He gazed into Eijun's eyes, trying to see, trying to understand.

Eijun spoke, slowly, consideringly. "I got that signed in late August before your fourteenth birthday. At that time, I was having some issues. The panic attacks had started the winter before, and I was just starting to get some kind of handle on them. I wasn't sleeping well without the sleeping pills, and I hate taking them. Truthfully, I missed you so much; I couldn't allow myself to consider a future where I didn't find you. So, when I got the chance to attend the game and get the signatures, it never occurred to me that it would be for anyone else." Kazuya stepped close, wrapping Eijun in his arms.

"God, Ei. I guess I don't know what you went through, either. I'm sorrier than you'll ever know that I cut off communication." He buried his face in Eijun's neck, just absorbing his presence. "Thank you for the ball. It's an incredible gift, and I'll cherish it." He stood up and took a step back, suddenly suspicious. "Please tell me you don't have a present for every year we missed."

"I don't have a present for every year we missed." Eijun deadpanned. Kazuya groaned.

"Ei…god. I love you, even though you are a brat."

"Well, that makes sense; I love you even though you are a manipulative tanuki." Eijun grinned at him, not at all affected by the glare Kazuya was shooting at him. Kazuya was unable to hold on to the irritation for long, there just wasn't enough room for it in his head.

"I'd better go, Kazu, I need to dress and get to class." Eijun moved towards the door. Kazuya grabbed his wrist before he got there.

Pulling Eijun into his arms, he whispered in his ear. "Is this ok? I just want to hold you for a few minutes." Eijun nodded and snuggled into the hug.

After a bit, Kazuya loosened his hold and stepped back. Eijun leaned forward and gave him a lingering kiss, full of love and promise. "I'll see you later, senpai. Wanna meet for lunch?"

"Yes, that would be great." Kazuya agreed. "Inside or out?"

"It was sprinkling a little when I ran earlier, so maybe inside? I'd rather out, but it might be wet."

"Tell you what, Ei. I was planning to spend some time with the ladies this morning, since I'm mostly free. I'll grab lunch, and we'll meet by your room and decide where to eat then. Plan?"

"Sounds good, Kazu. I'll see you later." With a quick peck on the cheek and a wave, Eijun ducked out the door.

Kazuya looked at the ball in his hand, and smiled sadly. _Well, the history of his panic attacks is getting clearer. If what I suspect is true, he'll never tell me the whole story, he'll not want to burden me with it. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I do know that I need to be careful. He's not completely mended yet._

He got dressed for school and then sat down at his computer, continuing to work on the project he had saved.

* * *

 _From: Me(miyukik )_

 _To: Ei-chan(catch4me .jp)_

 _Good Morning, Ei-_

 _I know we usually do these in the evening, but I wanted to write to you now._

 _If you're in class, read fast so you don't get in trouble!_

 _Thank you again for the ball; it's something I'd never have thought to ask for, and I love it._

 _I love you, Eijun, you need to understand that._

 _I know that sometimes I get uncertain, and I'm sorry, but I'm never not certain about what I feel for you, please believe me._

 _The years we spent apart were dark, but I think that gives us a certain sense of appreciation that we may not have had if we'd never been apart._

 _Not that it was a good thing, just that there might have been some good come from everything we've experienced._

 _I don't know, I'm just rambling, and I promised myself I wouldn't delete anything I wrote to you, I want you to know that what I say is what I've thought about, want this to be my honest thoughts, my truths._

 _Something you don't know about me:_

 _My father doesn't like me playing baseball. The only thing he's paid much attention to is that I'm not 'learning the trade'. He wants me to work in his shop, learning what he does._

 _I don't want to do that. Even if I can't play baseball, I don't ever want to do what he does._

 _I'm not sure what he's got planned, and I'm a little concerned about it._

 _Pay attention in class, brat._

 _I'll see you at lunch._

 _Love you-_

 _Kazuya._


	28. The Best Defense is a Good Offense

Eijun walked out of his classroom, headed for lunch with Kazuya. He'd been watching the weather closely (not that he _needed_ another reason to stare out the window, but it was nice to have one in case Kanemaru commented on it), and was happy to see the sky clear up an hour or so before lunch. He stepped outside of the building and headed for the dorms, looking forward to eating with his boyfriend.

"Eijun, wait!" He heard a soft voice behind him. Haruichi. Turning, he grinned at his friend.

"Hi, Haruichi! I'm meeting Kazu—" Haruichi cut him off.

"Sorry, that's why I stopped you. I saw Miyuki-senpai a few minutes ago, he said he'd meet you at the bleachers, coach wanted to talk to him before lunch. He's got the food so he'll bring it with him."

"Thanks! I'll see you later, have a good lunch!" Haruichi waved as he trotted off.

Eijun made his way to the bleachers, doubly glad that the sun had come out, although he could have used a little more warmth. It was a little chilly; there was a definite nip in the air. _I should have brought my hoodie; I didn't realize it was this cold out._

Waiting for Kazuya, he let his mind drift over the last few days. _We have to get better at talking. I think we should do something away from school every day, if we can. Nothing big, maybe just a walk or sitting on the bleachers. Just something that's not school related, that's Kazuya and Eijun related._

Resolved, he shivered a bit in the breeze and looked up to see Kazuya walking across the grass, almost to the bleachers.

"Oi, Bakamura!" Kazuya chided, "Where's your hoodie? It's chilly." He shrugged of his jacket and laid it over Eijun's shoulders.

"What about you?" He protested, unthinkingly snuggling down into the warmth.

Kazuya pulled a hoodie out of his bag. "I was prepared, unlike certain brats I know." Eijun grinned at him and lifted his head for a kiss, which Kazuya obligingly delivered.

"Thank you. I didn't realize how cold the breeze was." Eijun watched, bemused, as Kazuya pulled a thin fleece out of his backpack, and spread it on the bench below.

"Move down here. Your butt won't get as cold." Kazuya sat and patted the seat next to him. Eijun moved down a level, but straddled the seat, facing Kazuya. "Come closer, brat." Kazuya turned and threw his leg over the bench, and pulled Eijun close. He wrapped his arms around his boy, slipping his hands under the jacket to rub some heat into his back.

Eijun rested his forehead on Kazuya's shoulder, relaxing into the warmth and comfort. "That feels good, Kazu." He mumbled, boneless. Kazuya chuckled.

"Time to sit up. You can't eat like that." He patted Eijun's shoulder, pushing him upright. Eijun groaned a bit, but complied.

Kazuya grabbed his backpack and brought out a couple of containers.

"Soup today, and sandwiches as well. The ladies wanted you to have something warm." Kazuya passed over a container and a spoon.

Eijun took the top off the container and wrapped his hands around it, warming his hand as he slurped the broth. "Yummm...This is really good." He continued to eat, joined by his boyfriend. They chatted between bites, conferring about their day and nothing important, until Kazuya remembered he has some news for Eijun.

"The coach talked to me earlier. We're playing an inter-squad game this afternoon."

"Really? I wonder how the teams will be chosen, do you know?" Eijun queried, perking up.

Kazuya smirked. "I think it's the starters against the second string." Eijun looked intrigued. "Which might mean we'd be playing against each other."

"This could be fun. We haven't played against each other for a while. It may get interesting."

Eijun enthused, eyes bright. "I bet I can strike you out!"

Kazuya laughed. "In your dreams, Bakamura. You're not that good." Eijun glared.

"Wanna make a bet?" Eijun proposed, eyes gleaming.

Kazuya smirked. "Like taking candy from a baby. Of course, _Ei-chan_. What's your bet?"

Eijun stared at Kazuya, eyes intent. "Miyuki Kazuya, if I strike you out, you'll have to do something for me later."

 _I'll bite; if by some miracle I lose, he'll probably ask me to catch for him. Not a big deal._ "You're on, with the same conditions. If I get on base, you have to do something for me."

 _Oh….this is going to be so very good…._ The two boys thought in unison.

That afternoon at practice, Coach Kataoka announced the game, just as Kazuya said he would. "Some of you have been getting restless, so we're going to play an inter-squad game today. The starters will be on Team A, with Coach Ochiai coaching. I'm going to coach Team B, which will be the second string. We'll have Sawamura pitching for us. Furuya's healed but should take it easy, so both teams will switch out their pitchers in the sixth inning. I asked Yuuki to be the umpire. Let's go."

Eijun, who'd not been paying attention, spoke up. "Boss! Can I play on Team B?"

"Sawamura, I've already said you were, you'd better pay closer attention from here on out!"

"Yes, Boss!"

Kazuya was laughing his ass off at his stupid boy, snickering and pointing. Those who knew they were dating (read: everyone) just stared. "Oi, Miyuki!" Kuramochi chided. "I thought you LIKED him!"

"I do." Kazuya got himself under control, snickering occasionally, "But that doesn't mean I can't laugh at him when he's being an idiot."

"You're the worst. I don't know why he even likes you!"

"Thank you, Mochi-senpai! That's exactly what I said!" Eijun jumped into the fray headfirst.

"I don't know either. But I can't say that I'm upset that he does." Kazuya responded, grinning at his boyfriend.

Eijun blushed and glared, a look that _almost_ sent Kazuya into another laughing fit.

Coach Kataoka called them to order, thus sparing Eijun any more embarrassment from his tanuki bastard of a boyfriend.

The coaches assembled the players in the dugouts and gave speeches; Ochiai's wasn't terribly encouraging, he basically just told them that it would be embarrassing if they lost, so they should win; Kataoka told his players that he expected them to treat this as a real game, because he was going to coach it as such, so to play well.

Nabe and his friends set up a couple of cameras to record the game for analysis; it was always good to have more data.

Ono asked Eijun what pitches he wanted to throw and if he wanted to work on some of the other grips he's not gotten to practice. Eijun declined, saying he needed to perfect the pitches he has some handle on first.

Kuramochi was up first. Eijun's first pitch was a strike, the second one he hit, but it's weak and fielded, and he's out, yelling something about Eijun pissing him off. Next up, Shirasu, grounder to first and he's out. Third, it's Haruichi with an aluminum bat that Ochiai handed to him as he approached the box. He hit the second pitch hard, but the center fielder caught it, and the A team was retired.

Team B was up, and Kazuya and Furuya conferred about pitches. They decided to test Furuya's slider, wanting to get it ready to use on the weekend, if possible. Furuya walked Kojima, the first batter, and then Seki bunted, getting himself out but moving Kojima to second. Third batter, Ono, and Furuya walked him, the second walk this inning. The fourth batter was Yamaguchi, and he hit one to the outfield. Kojima came home, and Team B was now on the scoreboard. Finally, Higasa was at bat, and Team A managed a double play, retiring the side.

Kazuya reviewed the inning with Furuya, telling him to not worry too much about the slider, he'd get it in time. He was up first, time to face Eijun. _This one needs to learn to slow down, too. He might be getting ahead of himself with the changeups. We're going to have to talk. But first—_

Kazuya smirked at Eijun, watching his boy, the concentration making his eyes gleam, the grin on his face infectious. This was one of the times that they knew what the other was thinking _...this is so much fun..._

First pitch, changeup, just a little too high. Kazuya got a good dig into it, and it flew into the outfield. Double, man on second.

Eijun groaned and Kazuya rejoiced. _Oh, Eijun...you don't know what's coming for you..._

Zono got a hit to the outfield, but was out. Eijun continued to pitch well, striking out Furuya and Toujou, side retired, stranding the catcher on second. Kazuya was monitoring Eijun closely. _I was wrong, he's not getting ahead of himself...he seems to be aware of exactly where he's at. Good for you, Eijun._

They went back and forth for the next few innings, neither side able to score, until the fourth. There were two outs when Kuramochi got on base and promptly stole second. Shirasu brought him home, and the score was tied. Eijun successfully struck out Haruichi, which brings him no end of delight, side retired.

Fifth inning. Kazuya was up to bat again. Eijun remembered that he hit his changeup because it was too high. Ono called for a low and outside pitch, and Eijun delivered as asked. Strike one. Next pitch, low and outside. Ball. Third pitch, high and inside. Foul. Strike two, and Kazuya's cornered. Fourth pitch, changeup. Eijun threw it low and well. Kazuya swung. Strike. Batter retired. Kazuya was disgruntled, and Eijun ecstatic. _Oh, Kazuya…you don't know what's coming for you…_

After retiring the rest of the side, Eijun returned to the dugout, done for the game. Once there, the whole second string thanked him for playing with him, telling him what a good job he'd done.

He thanked them in return and went to ice his shoulder, content with his game. Plus, he'd won the bet. Well, they'd tied and he wondered if Kazuya would want to call it a draw. He hoped not, he had plans for that favor. Good ones. Big ones. And not the ones he knew Kazuya thought he was planning. These plans had nothing to do with pitching.

Meanwhile, on the field, the game continued. Team B seemed to lose some steam after Eijun sat down, and proceeded to give up six runs. They managed to claim one more, from Nori, and the end score was 7-2.

After the game, Eijun and Kazuya met up to walk to the locker rooms.

"Hey, Eijun. You pitched well out there...too bad you lost our bet!"

"You lost too, shitty senpai! We both did!" Eijun protested.

Kazuya laughed his genuine laugh that made Eijun want to drag him into the nearest shed to make out. So that's kind of what he did, grabbing Kazuya's wrist and pulling him behind the locker room, Kazuya protesting and laughing all the while.

When they arrived at the back of the building, Eijun pushed Kazuya against the wall, pinning him there. He wrapped his arms around Kazuya's neck, pulling him down, wanting nothing more than to kiss this beautiful boy who was learning what it was to laugh again. They rubbed noses, laughed and kissed in the sun of the late October afternoon.

"You make me so freaking happy when you laugh." Eijun grinned at his boyfriend.

Kazuya grinned back. "You're such a weirdo." He kissed Eijun's nose. "But you're my weirdo."

Hand in hand, they walked around the locker room to change.

Friday afternoon, the two first-year pitchers were talking in the training building. Furuya and Eijun had become good friends and good rivals. Their personalities and styles were opposites, but their love of baseball and the mound were the same and they'd found common ground in the pursuit of both. Once the cooler weather hit, Furuya came out of his shell, becoming much more active and interactive. He'd even quietly apologized for anything he'd said that was rude, to which Eijun grinned. "Naw, you're fine. You've never said anything that wasn't true. I can handle rude—look at our catcher. I'm just glad you're on our team, monster-chan."

This afternoon, though, they were discussing breaking balls. Eijun was demonstrating the different grips he was using, talking about the way the variations broke differently, while Furuya was wondering about the 'eagle grip' and thinking about trying it out himself.

Behind them, Kazuya and Kuramochi were walking past the door to the building and saw the two inside chatting.

"Awww, look how cute our kouhai are, getting along and being friendly." Kuramochi cooed.

Kazuya smirked. "I'm not so sure that's a good thing." He leaned on the doorway, watching the two pitchers. _What's wrong with me? I can't believe how much I dislike what I'm seeing._

Kuramochi laughed at his friend. "You're not _jealous_ , are you? You don't want Bakamura talking about baseball to anyone else, do you?" He watched Kazuya's face harden, his eyes sparking. "HYAAYAYAYAYA! I was right!" He cackled.

"Really, though. Why are you worried? You know he's not going to do anything, right?" Kazuya didn't answer. "Miyuki, listen to me. That boy loves you; don't fuck this up by being stupid." _Why do I always have to play counselor to these idiots?_

Kazuya glanced at Kuramochi and nodded. "You're right, nothing's going to happen. I'm going to make sure of it." Kuramochi couldn't do anything but roll his eyes and follow along, hoping that he could help mitigate the damage.

"Oi, Sawamura, Furuya. It's nice that you two are talking and trying different things, but the game's tomorrow and you're going to have to play with what you've got, we're not trying anything new."

"We know that, asshole tanuki! We're just talking about stuff and working on things for the future." Eijun retorted.

Furuya spoke up, "How long are you going to treat us like second class citizens?"

"Yeah! We're discussing important stuff here. Leave us alone." Turning to Furuya, Eijun continued, "Let's keep working on this tomorrow."

Miyuki interjected. "Speaking of tomorrow, I want to tell you what the coach just told me. Furuya, you're starting tomorrow. Your foot looks good, and you should be fine. Just be careful and take it easy. You be ready too, Sawamura, just in case we need you."

"Just in case?" Eijun's face fell, and Kazuya felt a pinch of regret over what he'd done.

He relented a bit. "You'll be needed this weekend, Sawamura; there are two games to play."

"Don't stay up too late you two; you're going to need your rest for this weekend." Kazuya walked away. Kuramochi mouthed his apologies at Eijun and went after him.

"What the hell, Kazuya? They were _fine_ , why did you do that?" Kuramochi demanded.

Kazuya shrugged. 'They were getting too friendly. Rivals should not be friends." _I don't know what's wrong with me, why did I even say that to them?_

"Huh? You really are an asshole. There's going to be hell to pay with Eijun, though. I saw his face. He's going to figure out what you did and be so pissed at you. Kayayayaya! I wish I were a fly on the wall so I could watch all the groveling you're going to have to do." Kuramochi laughed long and hard at his stupid best friend.

Eijun watched them walk away. _What was that all about_? _I can't just let him walk away like that, we have to talk, remember? I don't want another stupid fight._ "I'll talk to you later, I've got to go yell at the captain."

He walked up behind the two second years who had stopped halfway across the courtyard. "Excuse me, Kuramochi-senpai, but may I borrow the tanuki for a bit?"

"Of course, take him, he's all yours." Kuramochi snorted and walked off, laughing.

"Kazuya, I'd like to talk to you, if you don't mind."

"I'm not sure I'm up for fighting, Eijun, if that's what you were expecting." Kazuya rubbed his face tiredly. "But we can talk, sure."

Eijun reached out and touched his arm, gently. "I don't either. That's why I want to talk to you."

"Okay, where do you want to do this?" Kazuya asked, resigned.

"Let's go to my room. Kuramochi-senpai shouldn't be returning anytime soon."

Kazuya nodded and off they went in silence. Eijun unlocked the door and stepped aside so Kazuya could enter, locking the door behind him. Kazuya moved to the middle of the room, unsure of what he should do. Eijun stood in silence, just watching him fidget.

"Kazu." His head popped up and he looked at Eijun. "I'm not mad at you; I am a little hurt, though. But—" He cut Kazuya off with a raised hand, "I don't want it to fester, and we just agreed to take the time to talk, so let's talk about what happened. What did I do to upset you?"

"God, Ei. I don't know, you didn't do _anything_. I just...I saw you laughing and talking with Furuya—and that's a good thing, I'm glad you guys are friends, really—and I knew I had to deliver some news that was not going to make you happy, and I just..." He trailed off into an unhappy silence.

"Wait. You were worried about telling me I wasn't starting?"

"Kinda? I was worried because I had to explain to you that not only are you not starting, I'd imagine you're probably not playing tomorrow; Nori makes much more sense when considering their batting strategy. I mean, what kind of boyfriend am I that I'd tell you something like that?"

Eijun started, stared at Kazuya. He walked over towards him, until he was standing right in front of his boy. "The kind who's the team captain, who has the interests of the team in mind. Listen carefully to me, Kazuya. You're my boyfriend, true, but you're also my captain. Those are two entirely separate relationships, and one does not have _anything_ to do with the other." Kazuya met Eijun's gaze.

"I can't be that detached. I'd rather be your boyfriend than the team captain, Eijun. I just don't know how to separate them anymore. At first, it was pretty easy, out there you were Sawamura, and in here you're Eijun, but now, with everybody knowing, you can be Eijun out there as well, and lines are blurring. I think I'm scared. No, I know I'm terrified."

Eijun reached out and took Kazuya's hand, rubbing his thumb lightly along his knuckles. "Wow. Way to over think things." Kazuya tried to pull his hand away, upset. Eijun held on tighter.

"I'm sorry, Kazuya, I shouldn't have said that. Please, please, listen to me.

"I'm not going to say this is easy, relationships rarely are; ours started out easily, but we've got so much to learn about ourselves and each other and how to be together, it would be stupid to think it would stay that way." Eijun stepped in front of him and took his other hand. "I will tell you this, and I want you to carve it into that massive brain of yours. I won't leave. As long as you want us to be together and we're talking, I will never leave you. Just talk and I'll listen. Then I'll talk and you can listen. We'll get through whatever it is." He took a firmer grip on Kazuya's hand and brought it to his lips. Planting a kiss in the middle of his palm, he closed Kazuya's fingers over it, and let it go.

Reaching out, Kazuya grabbed Eijun's shoulders, bringing him closer. He leaned his forehead into Eijun's, eyes closed. He whispered a quiet "Thank you" before wrapping him in a fierce hug, resting his head on Eijun's shoulder, just breathing. Eijun returned the hug, burying his own head in Kazuya's shoulder. They stood like that for a while, the stress of school and the upcoming games and this new relationship they were attempting to navigate slowly melting away as they just stood, just were together.

Kazuya sighed, lifting his head. "I'm sorry, Ei. I know better, really I do."

"It's alright, everything'll be alright. We probably should try to get away together, just us, every day for a while. It seems like we need that; if we don't do it things get tense for us."

"Yeah, good idea. Wanna wander off tonight?"

"I'd love to, Kazu. I think we should go off after dinner, unless you have homework you need to get done."

"Naw, I'm good. It's Friday, anyway, and we have games all weekend. What about you?"

"I have some reading to do, but I was going to bring it on the bus, try to get it done during the down times."

"Ok, then. Let's go have dinner."

Kazuya started to head towards the door, but Eijun grabbed his arm. "Not yet, Kazuya. Can I please have a kiss, first?"

Kazuya stepped back to Eijun, reaching out to cup his chin, running his thumb across his lips. "Oh god, yes. I wasn't sure if you would welcome that after all this other stuff." He slid his hand down and around Eijun's neck, and leaned in.

"You'll have to work harder than that for me to not want you." Eijun whispered as their lips met.

They ate dinner together, but were quiet and didn't speak to each other much. Both of them were preoccupied with what had happened earlier, trying to process it so they could discuss it later.

After they ate, Eijun took the trays, telling Kazuya that he'd meet him at his room.

Kazuya agreed, and walked out of the cafeteria, headed for Eijun's room to wait. Turning the corner, he saw Jun and Ryou leaning against either wall, with Yuuki and Chris standing in the middle of the hallway, clearly waiting for him.

"Good evening, senpai. It's a pleasure to see you all." Kazuya said, politely.

"Don't give us that crap, Miyuki!" Jun ground out.

Yuuki stepped in. "Now, Jun, that's enough. Miyuki, we're here because we heard a most _disturbing_ story."

"We hope it's not true," Chris added. "It would disappoint us to no end if it was true."

"And you know how I feel about being disappointed." Ryou finished, slanting the slightest grin Kazuya's way. He shuddered.

"We thought we'd come here and hear what you had to say for yourself." Chris beamed at Kazuya, looking every bit like a doting older brother. One who would knife you in your sleep if you pissed him off.

"Please tell me you did not sabotage the team, and the team's spirit of cooperation and support. Because. You. Were. Jealous." Yuuki fumed.

Jun stepped away from the wall. "Listen, idiot. What did you do to Sawamura?"

Suddenly there was a shuffle behind Kazuya, and a voice rang out. "Hi, senpai! Thank you for worrying about me, but Kazuya didn't do anything to me." He walked up beside Kazuya and put a hand on his shoulder, stepping in front of him. "I don't know who told you he did something, but we're fine."

Eijun's voice hardened, and Kazuya saw Chris straighten up, staring. "Kazuya would never do anything to hurt me, and certainly not anything to warrant you getting upset about. He's more protective of me than anyone, and I don't want you guys going at him every time you hear that we've had a disagreement. I told you before; we're fine, and I can handle it. Would you please just stop? I'm glad you guys want to make sure I'm fine, really, but it's a little insulting that you don't think I can take care of myself."

The senpai exchanged glances, looking a little shocked and abashed. Chris stepped forward and bowed a little. "We apologize, Eijun. We didn't mean to imply that you were anything less than capable of protecting yourself. We just know that Miyuki can—" Eijun cut him off, bowing.

"I apologize for interrupting, Chris-senpai, but would you please stop with that? Kazuya is never going to do anything to harm me. He never has. He is more careful with me than anyone has ever been, and you are out of line implying anything else. I apologize, again, if what I say offends you, but you don't seem to be listening. I've known him for a very long time; I know what he is, and I know that he's not like that."

Chris conceded the point. "Alright, Eijun. We'll stop, but we'll still be watching. We really don't want to see you hurt any more after what happened earlier in the year."

"Thank you for worrying about me, but nothing's going to happen. Please continue to watch over both of us and you will see what I am talking about. Now if you'd excuse us, we have some errands to run before it gets too late." Eijun watched steadily while the senpai nodded and turned away, heading to their dorms.

Kazuya stared down the hallway in disbelief. _What had just happened? Who had called out the Eijun Defense Squad? And what was that all about? Why did he defend me like that?_

Eijun looked at his boyfriend, who was standing still, looking stunned. _Whelp, that happened. I wonder who told them I was upset._

Kazuya turned his stunned eyes to Eijun, having a hard time processing what happened. He blinked a few times and realized that he was walking down the hallway to Eijun's room, being pulled along by his boy. They stopped outside of the room and Eijun told him to wait, he'd be right back.

Eijun went into the room, grabbed a few things, and went back out to retrieve his still stunned boyfriend. "Come on, Kazuya. If you keep looking so surprised, I'm going to get insulted. Here." He handed Kazuya a hoodie, it was going to be chilly. Putting on his own, he grabbed his arm and dragged them both out of the dorm area, headed for the tree.

Arriving at their destination, he put the blanket he'd brought on the ground and sat, pulling the still slightly shell-shocked Kazuya into his lap.

"Eijun...you."

"Yes, Kazu?"

"I've never had...why would you do that for me?" He blinked at Eijun, lost.

Eijun cupped his cheek, heart aching a little for this boy who'd never had anyone who cared enough to defend him. "Why wouldn't I? I love you. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you, either. I'm sorry if you think I overstepped—" Kazuya shook his head and interrupted.

"No! You didn't overstep, I'm just at a bit of a loss. I never...no one has ever stood up for me like that. I don't quite know what to do about it." Eijun chuckled a bit, and kissed his still dazed boy on the cheek.

"You don't do anything about it, unless it is to thank me, or to ask me not to do that because you can protect yourself." He looked thoughtful for a minute. "I think that now I understand what you felt with Ochiai and the changeup, though. I never have felt so _protective_ of someone before. I think that in the future, if something like that happens and you feel the need to step in, I won't be nearly as upset. I still won't like it; I'd wish you believed me when I say I can handle things myself. And yes, I know you can handle those things as well, but I don't think you realize that you no longer need to."

Kazuya's eyes were clearing, and he seemed to be completely aware again. He turned around and sat on the blanket beside Eijun, patting his own lap in invitation. Eijun willingly moved to straddle his legs, sliding into the familiar comfort of his favorite spot.

"Thank you, Sawamura Eijun, for standing up for me. That's the first time anyone has ever done that, and I am still a little shocked that you would. Not because I don't think you have it in you, but because—" Eijun put his hand over Kazuya's mouth.

"I swear, this is my night to cut everyone off. Listen, you tanuki, if you were going to say something like 'because I'm not worth it', so help me, I'll smack you. You're worth more than everything to me, and I will defend you until the end. I've been getting really tired of the senpai acting so stupid about you; I thought it was time to get them to back off. They're the ones out of line, not you." He glared at his boy, daring him to argue.

Grinning, Kazuya dropped a kiss in the palm covering his mouth, and moved it. "You win, Eijun. I won't say those things. But you have to stop too. You have to stop thinking that for some reason you need to be more understanding, more patient than you are. You don't. We're in this together, and we'll make mistakes together."

Eijun looked chagrined. "You're right, dammit, I am doing that. I'll work on it."

"Good boy. But seriously, Ei, the way you lit into the senpai, that was amazing. You really let them have it, while still being polite. I'm impressed." Eijun rolled his eyes.

"I know how to behave properly, there's a reason my mother hasn't drowned me yet. Don't say it, I know, I'm an idiot."

"You're my idiot."

"And you're mine."

They rested their foreheads together, and it felt like the world held its breath, as if the next thing that was said would resonate for a long time.

Kazuya spoke quietly, his words weighty. "You are mine, and I am yours."

Eijun echoed him, serious and intent. "You are mine, and I am yours."

The world came to life around them, night sounds resuming.

They sat, minds absorbing both the words and the vow.

They sat, feeling the truth settle deep in their bones.

They sat, looking into the face of their future.

They sat. Together.


	29. How are We Going to Strike Out Raichi?

Saturday dawned chilly and clear, a perfect day for baseball.

Eijun woke early and went out for a run, as usual, trying to get some thinking done. He'd felt a shift in his relationship with Kazuya last night, one started by the combination of their argument and his subsequent defense of Kazuya to the senpai, cumulating in that rather momentous declaration. They were seven simple words. But those words in his head carried a much heavier meaning, much more weight than one might expect. It wasn't that they hadn't expressed similar sentiments before; they had said such things previously and in many different forms. This, though, this felt more like a promise and a vow than a mere statement.

So he ran, letting his mind work. After he'd run a few laps, he heard someone join him; glancing over he smiled at Kazuya, getting a warm grin in return. They didn't speak, just jogged. After a half hour or so Eijun slowed to a walk, cooling down a bit. Kazuya slowed as well, slipping his hand into Eijun's as they walked. Eijun laced their fingers together and together they strolled over to the dugout to retrieve their hoodies that they'd stripped off before they ran. Pulling Eijun into the shelter, Kazuya slipped his arms around his waist, bringing his boy in close.

"Good morning, Eijun." He rubbed their noses together; they were both a little chilly from the morning air.

Eijun brought his arms up and around Kazuya's neck, pulling him even closer.

"Good morning, beautiful." He tilted his head and kissed his boyfriend softly. He felt Kazuya's answering smile against his lips, and couldn't resist another kiss, this one deeper. Kazuya answered in kind, and they whiled away part of their morning lazily kissing, holding each other. After a bit, they pulled apart. As they were about to resume kissing, Kazuya's stomach growled.

"Hungry, are we?" Eijun smirked. Kazuya just grinned in agreement.

"We wouldn't want the star catcher, captain and clean-up to faint on the field. Let's go get some breakfast."

Kazuya groaned. "Oi, brat! Now you're just being embarrassing."

Eijun chortled and grabbed the hoodies, passing Kazuya his and waiting for him to put it on before grabbing his hand. Together they walked to the cafeteria, discussing the day.

They walked in; Kazuya looked at the clock and made his usual announcement. "Oi, you lot, listen up! We're the early game today, so on the bus by 10:30. You have plenty of time, so don't be late." Nods and agreement all around, the pair grabbed some breakfast and sat down to eat.

After breakfast, they split up to get ready for the game, planning to meet up at the bus.

At the stadium, the Seido team gathered in their traditional circle for their usual cheer. Kazuya, wanting to bring home the point that every game was a battle, proclaimed: _"We're not the Kings, we're the Challengers!"_ The team cheered, and continued on to their warm up.

Seiko prided itself on having big, physical players, players that could hit any pitch far, that didn't get jammed easily, could power through. Furuya was ready to play; he'd been off the mound for two weeks and it was killing him, Kazuya could tell.

"Monster-chan, keep your head together, please. We need to do this carefully, remember what happened last time you were dragged into a challenge. Watch me. Follow my lead and we'll get through this just fine."

First inning, Seido was the home team so Seiko was first at bat. Furuya pitched what Kazuya called, three quick outs. They headed for the dugout to the sounds of Eijun's sarcasm. "That's our King Ace right there, but I'm right behind you—in case you _might_ need me!"

First up for Seido, Kuramochi, hit well, triple. Shirasu hit a grounder between first and second, and Kuramochi came home, 0-1. Haruichi got on first, and then it was Kazuya's turn at bat. Together, they successfully pull off a 'run and gun', and now there's a runner on first and third. Zono's next and batted Haruichi home and Kazuya to second, continuing the Seido offensive. 0-2 is the score at the end of the inning, one down, eight to go.

Second inning, and Furuya again managed to get the three batters out. He's being hit on, but the outfield does its job and they're all dealt with correctly. Seido was up, and Toujou was walked, after which Kanemaru bunted to get him to second, and Asou hit well, bringing Toujou home. 0-3. Kuramochi was walked, Shirasu hit a long one, and Asou runs home. 0-4. Seiko changed pitchers; Ogawa was sent in, a large first year southpaw, who Eijun watched carefully. He walked Haruichi, bases loaded. Next up, Kazuya. Ogawa pitched and hit Kazuya in the helmet, bringing in Kuramochi. Bases still loaded, Seiko pulled off a double play with Zono at bat, change sides. 0-5.

Third inning, both sides, three up, three down. During the fourth inning, while Seiko was at bat, Seido manages to pull off a tricky double play to retire the side. And then three up, three down for Seido. Change.

Fifth inning. Still 0-5. Furuya's pitching has become steadier, and Kazuya thought that if he can keep it up they could get all three batters out, when Ogawa hit a home run. After a catch by Shirasu, the side was retired. 1-5. Seido was up. Haruichi landed on first, and Kazuya was walked. Zono bunted, but Haruichi was tagged instead of Zono, so runners on first and second bases. Furuya hit and got out, and the side was retired. The match was paused while they re-taped Furuya's foot; he reinjured it during the double play. The coach allowed him continue to play, but planned to pull him if necessary.

Top of the sixth inning. Two outs, runners on first and third. Seiko scored before Kuramochi managed the third out. 2-5. Three up, three out for Seido again.

Seventh inning. Furuya kept getting hit, and by the time he was done, the score was 3-5, and Kataoka has told Eijun he's in for the next inning, and he expected him to use the corners of the zone, not to try to take them down by force. Kazuya was both surprised and ecstatic that Eijun's been called in, he really hadn't expected him to play. He slid over next to Eijun, who was sitting on the bench at the back of the dugout.

"Sawamura. I'm glad you're in next inning. Just do what the coach said, and watch me, and we'll be good." He reached over and squeezed Eijun's hand. Eijun grinned at him, eyes alight.

"Yes, captain, I will!"

By this time, Kuramochi was on base, and Shirasu was just getting out. Haruichi was next to bat, but Kazuya needed to get on deck. He gave Eijun's hand another squeeze and left the dugout. Haruichi hit, but got out, and Kazuya was walked. Again. Zono strikes out, side change.

Eighth inning. Eijun struck out the first batter, and the second got on base. The third batter was Seiko's cleanup, who had been trouble all day. He hit a home run that ties the score. 5-5. The team converged on the mound afterward as Eijun tried to figure out what had happened.

Kazuya told him. "It was too high, idiot, you need to be more careful."

"Damn, I was afraid of that. Okay." Eijun shook it off, surprising everybody.

"Anyway, as you see, you've got to use the corners of the zone, and not pitch any high pitches. We're tied; there's still plenty of time for us to score." Kazuya reiterated.

They went back to playing. Eijun was still shaken, and pitched too high again. This time, Kanemaru made a mistake, and the runner got on base. The next batter stepped up to the plate, and the runner took a huge lead. Kazuya noticed, but didn't say anything to Eijun, not wanting to disrupt the pitcher's concentration. When Eijun wound up to pitch, he threw the ball to Zono instead, getting the runner out. Everyone was shocked that he noticed, but Kazuya was proud of him for being able to maintain the concentration needed to both pitch and watch the runners. Next batter, three strikes, out. Side change.

Eijun was at bat next, and as he prepared, Kazuya spoke with the coach, telling him that Eijun recovered quickly from that home run, and that the last pitch he threw was the best he'd throw lately.

Eijun bunted, surprising everybody, and only got out because the pitcher flipped the ball with his glove when he didn't have time to throw it properly. Toujou and Higasa were both out rapidly, side change.

Ninth inning. Ogawa got on first base. Next batter bunted, but Eijun dove and caught it. One out. Next batter, batter hit, was out, but Ogawa successfully ran to second base. The next batter hit one between third and the shortstop, and the runner headed for home. Asou threw the ball to home, Kazuya caught it, prepared to tag Ogawa out, when the runner plowed right into him, bringing Kazuya down underneath him. Runner out, side retired. Eijun saw that Kazuya was hurt and hiding it. He didn't say anything, just watched him. Carefully.

Seido was at bat and they were quickly shut down. Three up, three down. The game was tied, going into extra innings.

Kataoka told Eijun that he's to attack the first three batters, and that Nori's going in on the fourth. Eijun wasn't too worried about letting Nori take over; he was most worried about Kazuya. He watched him closely and saw the pain on his face, and he wondered why no one else could see that he's hurt. Eijun struck out the first batter easily, the second hit to the outfield, and it's caught. Two outs. The next batter got on base, time to switch out for Nori. Nori pitched well and struck out the batter. Side retired, Seido's at bat.

Kazuya was taking off his gear in preparation to hit, talking to Haruichi, when the pain in his side got worse. He stopped for a second to get a handle on it, and then continued his conversation. After he finished and Haruichi's turned away, Eijun handed him some water and slipped him a couple of pain relievers. Kazuya looked shocked, and then resigned, giving Eijun a searching look. Apparently satisfied, he took the medicine and drank the water, nodding his thanks.

"Oi, Sawamura! You need to ice your shoulder. Start your cool down, or you'll have problems!"

"I will, Captain. I just wanted to make sure you had some water, since you're at bat soon." Eijun raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend in inquiry. Kazuya shook his head slightly, asking Eijun to keep the information secret. Eijun glared, but acquiesced. _We're going to talk about this after the game_ , he mouthed at the catcher, who sighed, but nodded his agreement.

Haruichi got tagged out, and it was Kazuya's turn at bat. He watched a few pitches go by; the count was 2-1. The next pitch he swung at, and hit it out of the park. It was a walk-off home run, game over, Seido won.

After the game, the team stayed to watch the Ichidai San vs. Yakushi game, speaking to the senpai for a bit before the game. They were happy that Seido won, but harassed Zono for not doing more; he vowed to be the hero of the next game. Yuuki said that he'd been worried about the new team, but that they'd come together nicely and were well on their way to being great. After speaking with the senpai for a few minutes, the team headed to the stands to watch the second game. Eijun hooked his fingers into Kazuya's belt loop, slowing him down to walk with him near the back of the group. He ducked with Kazuya into an empty locker room they passed, closing the door and leaning on it. Kazuya stepped up close and wrapped his arms around him, gingerly. Eijun rubbed Kazuya's cheek, looking worried.

"Ok, spill. What's wrong? What happened?"

"I'm fine, brat. Or at least I will be. Ogawa hit me pretty hard, and hurt my side a little. It's nothing serious, don't worry about me."

"Miyuki Kazuya! What do you mean, don't worry about you? How can I not? If it were me that was hurt, you'd have me at the hospital already. I don't know where you got the idea that you aren't worth worrying about, but you are and I will."

Kazuya chuckled. "Ouch! Don't make me laugh, it hurts. Okay, you win. Worry if you want, I won't stop you."

"What do you think it is, Kazu? Seriously, how bad is it?"

"It hurts a good bit, but I've had worse. I don't think it's anything serious. Probably some pulled or torn muscles."

"If you tore something, you need to not play. You need to rest." Eijun stepped around him and started pacing worriedly.

Kazuya sat down on one of the benches, moving a little more precisely than usual. "I can rest after tomorrow's game, Ei. I need to play in that."

"Kazuya, you're hurt. You need to see a doctor, get it checked out, and get well. Nothing is as important as your health."

"Eijun. Listen to me, please. You have to trust me, let me play tomorrow. I promise I'll go to the doctor right after the game, but I need to play. I can't not play, Eijun. It's the last game of the tournament, and then I can rest and heal."

Eijun isn't convinced and it shows. "But Kazu, what if there's really something wrong? You could have cracked a rib or done some real damage that will be made much worse by playing. You need to see a doctor; I don't want you to be permanently injured. Think about it this way, Kazu. What if it was me? Would you let me play hurt?"

Kazuya tried one more time. "Eijun, if you were hurt and insisted on playing, I'd probably…" He laughed helplessly, "Probably haul you off to the nearest doctor, even if I had to tie you up. I understand what you're feeling. If it was the last game of a tournament, I might let it slide. Depending on how you were hurt and what was happening. I just…I need to be there, I need to play. If we end up playing Yakushi, you're going to need me catching. Furuya's hurt again; I imagine Nori's going to start, but you're going to have to play as well. Ono's a great guy and a good catcher, but he's not as good at analytical pitch calling. You could have totally won the inter-squad game if he'd been a little better. It's entirely your call, but I ask you to please hold off, please wait."

Eijun slumped onto the bench opposite, rubbing his face. "Don't say anything else, I let me think," he muttered, gathering his thoughts. Kazuya sat still, watching the play of emotions crossing Eijun's face.

"Okay. Here's what we'll do. First of all, thank you for not trying to manipulate me, I would have definitely told coach if you had tried, I would have been so pissed. I'll keep your secret under the following conditions: you have to go to the doctor _immediately_ after the game, and if I think you're making it worse or hurting unnecessarily, I will tell somebody, and you _will_ get checked out. Also, you need to be honest with me about how you're feeling, no lying, and no shading the truth. Can you do that?"

Kazuya glared at Eijun a bit, having not really thought his boyfriend would come up with such a comprehensive solution. Eijun just met his glare impassively, not being moved at all by his glare. "Take it or leave it, Kazuya. It's the best offer you're going to get from me."

"Like I have a choice. Of course I'll take it, but I don't have to be happy about it." Kazuya pouted, but then his face cleared. "I'm kidding; of course I'll take it, Ei, and thank you for trusting me. I promise I'll be careful and not make things worse." He smiled at his boy, open and honest. "Actually, I'm pretty impressed that you thought of all those conditions, you've got me pretty boxed in. I'll make a tanuki out of you yet!"

Eijun grinned. "Good, that's settled. We probably better get back to the others before they send a search party for us." He got up and grabbed Kazuya's left hand to help him up. "It's your right side, correct?" He asked, being careful not to move or jar Kazuya's side. Kazuya slung his left arm over Eijun's shoulders.

"Yes brat, it's my right side. It's nowhere else; you don't have to treat me like I'm fragile. In fact, if you do, people are going to figure it out. The pain meds you gave me earlier are helping, so I'm sure I'll be fine." He pulled Eijun in close, and kissed him. "Thank you, Ei, for caring enough about me to see that I'm hurt and trusting me enough to continue to let me play. I love you."

"Yeah, now you say that." Eijun groused. "Now that you've gotten your way. Just...be careful, please? I really don't want to see you have to sit out for a long time."

"My thoughts exactly." Grabbing Eijun's hand, he led them back to the stands, back to watch Yakushi win their game.

The final was going to be against Yakushi, against Todoroki Raichi, and Furuya was hurt, probably not going to play. Eijun had a horrible track record against Raichi, having been hit for a home run both times he's faced him. The main thought on both Eijun and Kazuya's minds on the way home was... _How are we going to strike out Raichi?_

After they returned to Seido, Eijun stopped to drop off his stuff and grab a few things. He then headed upstairs to Kazuya's room and knocked. Kazuya answered, snarking, "Why'd you knock, idiot? You can just come in, you know that."

"Sorry, sorry. Force of habit, I'm just a bit distracted." Eijun reached into his bag and brought out a bottle of pain relievers. "Here, take these every four hours, as regularly as you can. They work best if they're built up in your bloodstream." He also brought out some ointment and ace bandages. "I'm not sure if either of these will help, but you're welcome to try them." He laid them on Kazuya's desk. Walking back over to his boy, he placed a kiss on his cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling...loved." Kazuya wrapped his arms around Eijun and kissed him, trying to show his boy how much he appreciated everything he's done for him. "First you stick up for me to the senpai, and then you're taking care of me, trusting me. If I wasn't already completely gone for you, I would be now." He brought him back in for a kiss; hand in hair, right hand on Eijun's waist. Eijun gently placed his hands in the spot that he'd come to believe was made for them, Kazuya's hipbones, and rubbed his thumb along the ridge there.

Breaking the kiss, Eijun leaned back and smiled softly. "You've done the same for me, Kazuya, and I will always take care of you."

"Sap."

"Asshole."

They walked out of Kazuya's room in perfect accord, just in time for dinner.

After they ate, the pitchers and the catchers were having a meeting. Kazuya was talking strategy with Ono, and lecturing the first years for leaning too much on others, telling them that they needed to memorize the traits of the upcoming pitchers as well. Ono looked surprised that Kazuya was discussing this with him, but Eijun knew that Kazuya was just preparing in case he can't play the whole game.

"Miyuki, we know these batters, we've played them before!" Eijun protested.

Kazuya smirked at him. "Ok, then, what are the defining characteristics of the eighth batter?" Eijun just glared, and Kazuya cracked up, trying not to laugh hard enough to hurt himself.

Kazuya gave all three pitchers copies of the scorebook that Nabe had prepared, and told them to study it before they slept and again in the morning, so they wouldn't forget.

As they walked out of the clubroom, Kazuya asked Eijun if he still wanted to try out his two-seam, it was a pitch they'd not worked with, and they were looking for anything that would help in the fight against Raichi. Eijun glanced worriedly at Kazuya, not wanting him to injure himself further. Kazuya raised an eyebrow in acknowledgement.

"Ono, would you catch for him? I want to watch him from the side." Ono agreed, and Eijun shot Kazuya a grin. As they walked towards the practice building, they saw Chris walking in that direction and Kazuya asked him to join in.

"We're going to try some different things, would you mind coming along and watching? I'd love your opinion, Chris-senpai."

"Of course, but could I speak with you for a minute first?" Chris asked the catcher. Eijun stopped and turned, ready to step in for Kazuya, when Chris spoke up again. "You too, Eijun. I'd like to talk to you as well." Eijun stepped over to the other two, warily watching Chris and angling himself to be slightly in front of Kazuya.

"I just wanted to apologize to both of you, especially you, Miyuki. We've been out of line, and I am sorry. I'm not sorry for being protective of Eijun, we all are, but I am sorry for misjudging you. I know you, and I know you're not nearly as bad as you allow yourself to be painted. I have been watching you two for a good while, even before you guys got together, and I know that you're good for each other. That goes for the others as well, but they should be telling you this themselves. Can you forgive me?"

Kazuya and Eijun both bowed their heads. "There's really nothing to forgive, Chris-senpai. I'm glad you're as protective of Bakamura as you are, he needs all the help he can get." Kazuya snorted.

"Oi! You bastard Miyuki Kazuya! Pardon me, Chris-senpai. I might have to kill him. But after he's caught my pitches." Chris laughed, and they walked together to practice.

In the building, some of the third years are hanging around, practicing and hassling their kouhai. As the pitchers and catchers walked in, they were joined by the third years that want to watch Eijun pitch.

"Oh! I'm so excited to be playing with you guys again! Thank you for coming by to watch me pitch!" The senpai answered, in unison, "We didn't come here for you, idiot!"

Eijun turned to start pitching when he saw the coaching staff enter. "Big Boss!" he yelled, getting himself reprimanded for being too noisy and for calling the coach 'Big Boss". Kazuya, meanwhile, was trying his hardest not to laugh at his idiot boyfriend, who seemed to be stumbling from one faux pas to another. Finally, they were all sorted and Ono got ready to catch. Everyone was watching, and Eijun was a little nervous.

Coach warned him, "Only a light workout tonight, we don't want you to wear out your shoulder." Eijun agreed and they began practice, with Kazuya telling him what to throw, and watching from the side.

"First, a high-speed fastball." Eijun pitched and the catcalls begin.

"Yup, that's one strange pitch."

"Man, is that even legal? It's seriously dirty."

Kazuya called for a cutter. "Watching you from the side sure gives a different view. This is interesting." Eijun pitched.

"Whelp, that was a man on base."

"That was a dead ball for sure."

Eijun glared at them all, irritated. "It's not so easy to pitch with you guys and your commentary."

"Pitch a changeup, Sawamura." Eijun pitched the changeup as instructed.

"Still too high."

"How dare he pitch like that; this is Sawamura, right?"

Standing right behind him was Furuya, trying to get to pitch as well; he was quickly shooed back by Kazuya.

They tried both the two seam and a variation of the two seam, but neither is any better or different from what they already have.

 _How are we going to get Raichi out?_

The coach finally spoke up. "Miyuki, one more pitch. Let's have a straight fastball."

"I was thinking the same thing. Sawamura, I want a neat straight fastball, with plenty of spin."

Ono handed over his mitt to Kazuya so he could catch the last pitch.

"Sawamura, I've told you before, your breaking balls live and die by your ability to throw a straight fastball to all of the parts of the zone. I want you to throw the best straight fastball you are currently capable of." Coach Kataoka instructed.

Eijun nodded, what else could he do? _A neat straight fastball? That's the hardest thing for me to do. But, this is also a good gauge of my growth—with this pitch, I'll be able to show them how far I've come._ He relaxed, wound up, and pitched. A perfect fastball, just as requested.

"Wow, that was fast!"

"It actually sped up?"

Eijun looked in amazement at his hand, thinking. "Miyuki-senpai! Can I pitch some more? I need to get it stuck in my head; I'm going to forget how this feels!"

"Tem more pitches, then to bed." Coach Kataoka told them.

Eijun pitched ten more pitches just like the first. Kazuya heard Chris explain. "Because of his flexibility, he can release the ball at the last second, putting a tremendous amount of spin on it. That spin causes the ball not to lose acceleration as it moves; thereby looking like it's actually speeding up. It's pretty much the opposite of the changeup."

Coach ordered everyone to bed, and off they all went.

Eijun and Kazuya walked together to Kazuya's room. Once inside, they both broke out in huge grins. "Eijun! We have something you can beat Raichi with!"

"I know! It's awesome, right?" Eijun walked over to his boyfriend. "But more importantly, how are you?"

"Well, I've been better. I have to admit it hurts pretty badly right now, but I think the meds have worn off. I'll take some more, and then I should be able to sleep."

"I'd probably better sleep in my own bed tonight, you don't need me elbowing you in the side or something."

"You're right, but I hate the idea. I'd rather be with you."

"I know, but it's for the best, senpai."

"Come here, brat, let's make the most of what little time we do have."

So they did.

Later, Eijun went to his room while Kazuya went to bed. After some fussing with pillows and taking more pain relievers, he finally fell asleep rereading the playbook from that day.

He was sleeping nicely when his phone rang, waking him up. _What the…who would be calling me at...two o'clock? Mochi?_

"God, Mochi, I swear, if you're assdialing me—"

" _It's Eijun...he...I...he's in trouble. You'd better get down here!"_


	30. And So It Goes

A/N: Trigger warning- Panic Attack. Read with caution, be safe.

Kuramochi was sound asleep when a noise woke him up. _What was that? It sounded like a whimper. Is someone crying? Do I have to kick Miyuki's ass?_ He leaned over to look in the bunk below and didn't see anyone there. "Oi, Sawamura." He whispered, not wanting to disturb the neighbors. He still didn't see anything, and there was no response. _He must have gone to sleep at Miyuki's. I wonder what woke me._ He was just laying back down when he heard the sound again. It was a definite whimper, and it was _definitely_ coming from the bunk below.

Hopping down from his bunk, he looked at Eijun's empty bed again, but this time he saw a flash of gold in the corner. Eijun's eyes, reflecting the faint light from the walkway. His eyes fully adjusted, Kuramochi finally saw his roommate. He was huddled up in the back corner of his bed, back against the wall, arms wrapped around his knees, eyes blown wide. Kuramochi crawled onto the mattress, approaching his friend slowly, carefully.

"Hey, 'mura. Are you ok?" Eijun didn't move, he was breathing rapidly and although his eyes were open, Kuramochi couldn't be sure he was awake. He didn't want to startle him, wasn't sure what was going on, so he backed off the bed and went to the drawer where Eijun kept his supplies, pulling out the inhaler and setting the pills on the table within easy reach, flipping on the desk lamp. Climbing back on the bed, he was approaching Eijun when he heard him let out another whimper and a moan, burying his head in his knees. "Eijun, can you hear me?" Eijun didn't react, didn't move, just stayed there curled into himself, breathing unevenly and shaking.

Kuramochi wasn't sure what to do, didn't know if Eijun was having a nightmare or was in the throes of a panic attack, and he was afraid to do something wrong. The only thing he could think of was to call Kazuya; maybe he'd know what to do.

 _"_ _God, Mochi, I swear, if you're assdialing me—"_

"It's Eijun...he...I...he's in trouble. You'd better get down here!"

Kazuya didn't say anything, just hung up the phone. Kuramochi walked to the door and opened it, and within a minute Kazuya rushed in.

'What's going on?"

"I'm not sure, he started making noises and woke me up, but when I went to check on him he was like this. He's not answering or moving. I'm not sure if he's awake or having a panic attack. I can see he's breathing really fast, too. Last time he had a panic attack, he wasn't like this at all."

"Shit. He said that his panic attacks started out as nightmares, but that hasn't happened for a while." He ran his hand through his hair, thinking. _I wonder if my getting hurt...wait, that doesn't matter._

Kazuya knelt on the bed, moving carefully towards Eijun, who was still huddled in the corner. He sat next to Eijun, not touching but within reach, speaking softly, soothingly. "Eijun, it's Kazuya. Can you hear me? I know you can hear me, Eijun. Listen to me; you're going to be okay. Eijun, you're going to be fine." He continued in this vein, just speaking slowly and gently, repeating the same things, deliberately patterning the sentences to be soothing.

After a few minutes, Eijun lifted his head, just enough that Kazuya could see his eyes. They were clouded and lost, distant. Kazuya wanted so badly to grab him and hold him tightly, but he knew he needed to move slowly and deliberately. Eijun's eyes cleared a little, and Kazuya saw him mouth his name.

"Yes, it's me, Eijun. I'm going to move a little closer, ok?" Eijun nodded once, and Kazuya saw that was a battle; he needed to figure out some other way of communicating. "You're doing so well, Eijun. I know it's hard to move right now, so you don't have to respond. Just let me know if you don't want me to do something." Kazuya scooted closer to Eijun, right up near his right side. He saw that Eijun was still having a hard time breathing regularly. "I'm going to put my arms around you now. Let me know if you're uncomfortable." Slowly, carefully, telegraphing everything he did, he slid his arms around Eijun, and slid his leg behind him.

Eijun was starting to become aware of his surroundings. His last memories were of a dream, that dream, the dream that haunted his life for months, the dream that triggered his panic attacks. As it began, it was the same as always and he recognizing it for what it was, not fighting his mind—he knew how to handle this now. Then the dream shifted, turned into something unfamiliar and he lost his grip. He found himself walking, running down a crowded street chasing someone who was walking away from him. He caught up and put out his hand to stop the person when the dream shifted again; this time he was in a hospital watching someone on a lung machine, unable to breathe on their own. He reached out to take the hand that was lying on the blanket, and the dream changed once more. He was back on the street following the same familiar person when they turned a corner, disappearing. He ran around the corner desperate to catch the walker. Looking around, he realized he was in a cemetery. In front of him was a mausoleum and carved into the side was a name, Miy-

That's when he sat up. Brain still caught in the horror of the dream, he scooted into the corner of the bed and made himself as small as he could. He sat, shivering, while his mind spun an endless mantra of _dead left alone dead gone dead alone gone..._ He hid his eyes when the lights came on, still lost, still spiraling.

 _Alone gone left dead..._

Slowly he became aware of another voice in his head, in his ear. This voice spoke of comfort and peace, of calm. It was breaking the pattern of the spiral, allowing his thoughts to jump the track they were on. He opened his eyes and saw the person next to him, the voice that stopped the spiral. _Kazuya._ He couldn't make his voice work, but he moved his mouth anyway, and Kazuya saw.

As his mind started working— _not dead, right here, didn't leave, not alone—_ he had a second to realize that he was heading straight into a massive panic attack. He couldn't breathe, the air in his lungs felt thick, and he tried to suck in more to compensate. His body shook, his heart raced. He heard Kazuya speaking, but couldn't understand what he was saying. He felt his boyfriend's arms wrap slowly around him, and he managed to unclench his hands long enough to grab onto Kazuya, clinging to him as hard as he could.

Kazuya was surprised when Eijun grabbed him, but kept up the steady stream of encouragement. He leaned into Eijun a little, just enough so he could talk into his ear. He needed to get his attention, try to get him to breathe normally. That would be a start, at least. First, though, his attention.

"Eijun, listen to me. Eijun. Can you understand me? Squeeze me when you understand me. You're doing great, Ei, you'll be fine. I love you, and am so proud of you. Squeeze me…" Kazuya continued, speaking softly into his boy's ear, repeating the praises and requests for him to squeeze; waiting for Eijun to fight through enough to hear him. Eventually, Kazuya felt a slight squeeze from one of Eijun's hands. He wasn't sure he did it voluntarily, so he asked again. "Good, very good, Eijun! Squeeze again, if you can." Another squeeze.

"Excellent, now just keep listening to me. Breathe with me, Eijun. Breathe in...out. Breathe in…out. Good job, Eijun, you're doing great. Breathe in…out…in…out." Kazuya continued to coach him through his breathing.

Eijun's head was spinning, he couldn't concentrate, couldn't think of anything, his breathing and his heart rate were all that was occupying his thoughts. He knew he needed to calm down, that he'd been here before and survived, but he wasn't sure he believed he'd get through this one. Every once in a while his fog would clear enough for him to hear the other voice— _Not Dead Not Gone Kazuya!_ his brain so helpfully supplied—each time hearing him for a little longer. Soon enough he could parse whole sentences, and when he heard him ask him to squeeze, he tried. The first time he tried Eijun couldn't do it, but the next time he was able to, and the next as well. Concentrating on what Kazuya was telling him, he began to breathe with him; listening only to his voice, trying to do what he said. It was hard at first, it's always hard at first when his mind wants to go one way and his body just wants to _fucking go._ _In…out…in…out…breathe…_

Kazuya noticed that Eijun's breathing was becoming more regular, that he was trying to match him. He continued encouraging him. "That's right, Ei…in…out…in…out…you're doing so well…" He settled in to continue coaching, his arms around Eijun's shoulders and knees. Steadily breathing, _in…out…_ , he watched his boy carefully. Eijun moved, just slightly, turning his face towards Kazuya. He was shivering, still breathing in time, but clearly shaking. "Eijun, are you cold? Do you want a blanket? Eijun shook his head back and forth, _no_. He started to sit up, pulling away from Kazuya, but still holding on tightly to his arm. "Don't stop breathing, Eijun, it's ok. What do you want, can you tell me?" Eijun's mouth moved, but he spoke so softly, Kazuya couldn't hear him. He moved his ear lower, and heard a whisper. "Wanna go." Kazuya sat up, "No, Eijun, we need to stay here and keep breathing." Eijun started to flail a little, trying to get up and out, and Kazuya realized he'd made a mistake. His boyfriend always ran, always moved, that was how he thought and worked through stuff, this was not a lot different.

"Ok, Calm down, Ei. We'll go for a walk, ok? Just keep breathing." Eijun stopped moving, still clinging onto Kazuya's arm. Kuramochi handed Kazuya a couple of hoodies, and set their shoes within easy reach. "Eijun, it's cold, we need the hoodies. I'm going to put this one on, so you're going to have to let go." Eijun shook his head, clinging harder. Kazuya thought for a second, and motioned Kuramochi over. "Can you put this on me? Just over my head and help me get my free arm in." Kuramochi helped him get it on, Kazuya moving a little gingerly; his side hurt more than he wanted to admit. "Eijun, listen. Hold this hand and arm, ok? So I can put this on, and then I'll help you." Eijun transferred one hand to Kazuya's covered arm, and the other grabbed the front of his hoodie.

He was shaking and trying so desperately not to just _run go away run,_ he knew it was cold and that they needed the protection, but he didn't _care_ , couldn't care. He focused on Kazuya, knowing that if he ran, he'd have to let go and he couldn't. If he did, if he stopped clinging to his boyfriend, he might leave, and that was something Eijun never wanted to happen again. _It was only a dream, he's not going, he's right here._ Eijun clung to the words, clung to Kazuya's sweatshirt and his hand. He was still breathing, he knew he was, but he couldn't stop the shaking, he needed _out_. Sitting as still as he could, he let Kazuya put the hoodie over his head, and pull it down.

Kazuya considered, wondering how he was going to get Eijun's arms in, when Kuramochi suggested, "Put your free arm up the sleeve and grab his hand, and then pull it through."

"Thanks, Mochi." That's what Kazuya did; he slid his arm up the empty sleeve and switched which hand Eijun was holding, pulling it down and through the sleeve. He then did that with the other sleeve, just moving points of contact.

The hoodies were on, and Eijun was moving towards the edge of the bed, dragging Kazuya with him. "Wait a second, slip on your shoes, Ei." Eijun did as he was told, sliding his feet into his shoes, tugging impatiently as Kazuya put on his. "Listen carefully. You're not running; we're going for a walk. Ok?" Eijun knew that he was right, that he needed to not run, but he wanted to _go leave get out run flee go NOW._ Just as he was about to find himself back over the edge, just as he was about to take off without caring, let go and _gethehellout,_ a thought came to him, a memory surfaced, and he caught the end of a phrase _, '…and I am yours.'_ He chased the rabbit of that thought down, out of his spiral. _'You are mine and I am yours.'_ It echoed in his mind, a thought, a promise from someone, from Kazuya, _not dead still here didn't leave Kazuya._ He chased it until he found himself aware of what was happening. He stopped himself halfway out the door, hands still fisted in Kazuya's hoodie, dragging him as quickly as he could to _go run out._

Kazuya was afraid. He thought Eijun was fighting his way back, but he seemed to be losing the battle again, the panic and the nerves pushing his flight instinct into full gear. If he decided to let go and take off, he didn't know what he'd do—he couldn't run after him, not with his side the way it was, not with as fast as Eijun could run when he was motivated. He moved with Eijun as he hauled him to the door, holding on to his sweatshirt. He looked over his shoulder at Kuramochi, who was donning his shoes and hoodie, just in case. _Good idea, he can run faster than I can._ Just then, just as Eijun had gotten to the door, opened it (letting go of Kazuya's shirt for a second only) and stepped outside, he stopped.

Turning towards Kazuya, he dropped his head on his chest and murmured, "Sorry." Kazuya's arms came up and around him loosely, rubbing at his spine. "It's fine, Eijun, let's go."

Eijun stepped back and holding onto Kazuya's hand, he dropped his other hand from his hoodie, in order to allow them to move. _Move go run move._ He fought it down, fought back with his new mantra, _not dead Kazuya not gone Kazuya you are mine and I am yours_. Holding, clinging tightly to Kazuya's hand, he walked. They walked. He didn't go far, they went to the practice field and walked around it, walked where he'd usually run. At first, it was closer to a run, he was walking fast, but with the help of the movement and the mantra and the boy he clung to, gradually he slowed himself down. Eventually, he stopped at the bleachers.

Kazuya watched Eijun carefully. "Do you want to sit for a while?" Eijun nodded, and indicated that Kazuya should go first. Having an idea of what he wanted to do, Kazuya straddled the lowest bench. Eijun slid in front of him, putting his legs over Kazuya's and resting his head on his shoulder. Sliding his arms around Eijun's waist, Kazuya laid his head on Eijun's shoulder as well. Together, they just sat, feeling each other breathe.

Eijun spoke, not loudly, still constricted. "I'm sorry, Kazu. You should be in bed; I didn't mean to wake you. You have to play in the morning, and you're hurt, and I don't—" Eijun started to spin up again, working himself into a state.

"Eijun, stop." Kazuya commanded. Softening his voice, he continued. "It's fine, it's more than fine. I don't want you to ask someone else. I'm here for you, and if I ever find out that you didn't come to me because you didn't want to bother me for whatever reason, I'm going to be so hurt."

"I get that, I'd feel the same." Eijun let out a soft huff. "But really, thank you. You handled it so well, I'm grateful."

"Well, to be honest, I had some insider info. After I found out how bad your panic attacks could get, I asked your mom what to do to help you, and she gave me some pointers. I would have been lost and probably done something stupid if it was up to me." Kazuya rubbed Eijun's back. "How are you feeling, Ei? You've got to be exhausted."

"Pretty much, yeah. But what about your side? How are you?"

"I won't lie, it's sore. I'll take some medicine and it'll help. We should go back, though, if you're all right with that. We really should try to sleep for a while. We've got a big game to play."

Eijun nodded. "Yeah. We should, you need to rest."

"I'm not letting you out of my sight tonight, Eijun. You're sleeping with me; you'll just have to sleep on my good side."

"I don't think I could sleep if I was away from you; the dream I had was about you leaving. It wasn't my usual nightmare, I recognize that and can get through it fine. Instead, it started like normal and then shifted and I lost my grip."

"Eijun, look at me, please." Eijun lifted his head and met Kazuya's eyes for the first time that night. "I'm not going anywhere. This thing with my side is not bad, it's just a strained muscle or something, and in a few weeks I'll be fine."

"I know that, Miyuki Kazuya! It's just my brain doesn't always accept what I know, and sometimes it does stupid stuff." He rested his forehead against Kazuya's. "You are mine and I am yours, right?"

"You are mine and I am yours. Exactly right, Sawamura Eijun. We should go to bed."

Eijun stood up, as did Kazuya, their hands still joined.

Together, they returned to the dorms and went to find what sleep they could.

Tomorrow (later today?) was going to be a busy day.


	31. It's a Beautiful Day for a Baseball Game

Eijun woke up first, slowly gaining consciousness as the world came into focus. He was still not quite there when the memory of the night before hit him— _not dead Kazuya not gone Kazuya you are mine and I am yours_. He took a deep breath and pushed it back, down, not denying the comfort he had received (and still was receiving) from the words, just putting them away for now. There were other things he needed to focus on, and the main one was sleeping beside him. _Kazuya's hurt, and last night couldn't have helped. He doesn't seem to be moving that slowly, though. I think I need to talk to Mochi about it. And thank him for last night, too. We stopped by for a sec on our way to bed, but I didn't really get to talk to him._

Carefully, Eijun climbed out of bed and got dressed. As he bent over to put his shoes on, he heard Kazuya stir. "Ei? What's going on? Time's it?"

"It's 8:30, you can sleep for a bit more. I'm just going to go check in with Mochi-senpai. I'll come and wake you so you don't miss breakfast." Eijun tucked the blankets back up around his boy, kissing him on the temple. "Sleep, senpai." He slid his shoes the rest of the way on and walked out the door.

It was chilly out, without a cloud in the sky. Another great day to play baseball. He was still a little tired—they'd finally gotten back to bed about 3:00—and he knew Kazuya had gotten less sleep than he did; he'd probably stayed up later studying plays and players, figuring out strategies to get past the Yakushi players—especially Raichi and Sanada. Eijun wanted to practice that pitch that morning. He thought it would be a good thing to solidify the feeling of the straight fastball, but he wanted Kazuya to rest. _Maybe I'll find Kariba or Ono later, ask them to catch for me._

He went to his room to see if Kuramochi was still there. As he walked through the door, he realized that his roommate had company and although they weren't doing anything salacious, it was definitely private. He turned to walk back out when he heard Ryou. "Sawamura, stay. I just came by to wish Youichi well today, I'm leaving."

"I don't mind Oniisan-senpai, I can wait out here."

"No, no. I think he wants to talk to you. I'm glad to see you seem to be fine; I hope nothing will prevent you from playing well today." He said pleasantly, and a shiver ran up Eijun's spine.

He quickly replied, "I am well, Oniisan-senpai. I won't have any problems playing."

"Good." He replied, walking towards the senior's dorms.

Eijun walked inside the room. "I'm sorry, Mochi-senpai. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"Naw, you're fine. Ryou really was just leaving. How are you this morning, 'mura? Did you sleep?"

"I did, thank you. Also, thank you so much for helping me last night; I don't know what I would have done if you'd not been there. I really appreciate it."

"I didn't do much; it was mostly Kazuya, I'm glad he was able to help you. I paid attention, though, so if he's ever not around in the future, maybe I'll be able to help."

"You did a lot; I know you tried to get me to wake up before you called him, I was just stuck. The reason I had that nightmare is something I'd like to discuss with you. It needs to stay between us, though."

Kuramochi lowered himself into the desk chair. "I can do that, no problem. You know me; I always want to know what's going on."

"Ok, here goes; I mean it about keeping it between us two, ok? You don't have to lie about it, but just don't tell anyone." Sitting on his bunk, Eijun collected his thoughts.

"Gotcha, Bakamura, what's going on?"

"Ok, so. You know about the panic attacks, and that they started as nightmares." Eijun began. "What I've not really told many people is that they started shortly after Kazuya stopped responding to my emails, and I had no way of knowing what was going on with him. The nightmare was always the same, everyone had left me, abandoned me. I'd wake up terrified, and then a panic attack would happen. Therapy taught me how to deal with that dream, and I've successfully kept it from triggering me for years." Kuramochi was watching carefully, paying close attention.

"None of that's really secret, just private-ish, but I really don't want Kazuya to know that he was the cause of this starting." Eijun met Kuramochi's gaze from across the room, and continued earnestly, "I don't want him to bear that guilt, because he didn't do anything wrong, nor do I want him staying with me out of some obligation or fear. But you needed to know that to know this next bit, which _is_ secret. Kazuya got hurt in that cross-play yesterday."

Kuramochi leaned forward, "I thought something was off with him yesterday. I noticed him moving slowly when he was helping you, but I couldn't figure out what it was."

"He's hurt the muscles in his right side, but he doesn't want to go to the doctor until after the game. It's probably just a pull, but he's definitely hurt. I noticed when it happened, and he got me to promise not to tell anyone. I told him I'd tell if he seemed to get worse, which hasn't happened yet." Eijun fiddled with the hem of his hoodie, feeling guilty but determined to make sure Kazuya was all right.

"So, last night. I had the same nightmare, and I was fine. Then it changed and took me somewhere I wasn't prepared to go; my brain, for whatever reason, translated 'Kazuya is hurt' to 'Kazuya is hurt, gone or dead'. That's what triggered the whole thing, and I wanted you to understand." Kuramochi looked slightly shaken but nodded.

"As for Kazuya, I promised I wouldn't tell unless he seemed to be getting worse. Will you help me watch him? He's irreplaceable for the team, I know, but I really want to keep him as safe as possible while he plays. He's not going to tell me if he's hurting if he can avoid it." Eijun ran his hands through his hair worriedly.

"Of course I'll help; but 'mura, if he finds out you told me, and he probably will, he's going to be so pissed." Kuramochi warned.

Eijun nodded. "I know. And he'd be in the right. But if he's okay, I can deal with pissed. Don't lie for me if he asks."

"Okay, if you're sure."

"Definitely. I'm going to head back up; I told him I'd wake him up in a bit." He stood up and as he headed towards the door, there was a knock.

Opening it, he saw Kazuya on the other side. "Good morning, have you seen my idiot boyfriend?"

"Good morning! I was just coming up to wake you." Eijun stepped to one side to let Kazuya in. "You get enough sleep?"

"Not hardly, but it will have to do. We're all going to have to work for it today. Hey, Mochi, how are you this morning?"

"About the same, not enough sleep, thanks to a certain someone." He shot a sardonic glance at Eijun.

"I'm so sorry about that, you have no idea. You're both starting and—" Kuramochi cut him off.

"Don't be an idiot, Bakamura. It's not your fault, nobody blames you."

Kazuya moved up next to his boyfriend, reaching over and rubbing his back. "How are you feeling, Eijun? Still shaky?"

"Nope, I'm pretty good. A little 'hung over' so to speak, but it'll go away soon."

"Mochi, did you eat?" Kazuya asked.

"Not yet, I was talking to Ryou, and then Eijun came by. Wanna go?"

"Yes! I'm starved." Eijun pled. Kazuya ruffled Eijun's head and slipped his left arm around his shoulder.

"We can't have you running to the snack machine in the middle of the game, can we? Let's go eat."

Kazuya's speech to the cafeteria was a little different this morning. "Oi, listen up. The game starts at 1:00; you know the drill—on the bus by 12:00. This is the last game; if we win this, we're guaranteed a spot at Spring Koshien. I want to thank you all for everything you've done to get us this far. Keep it up, and we'll go even further."

They all got their breakfast, and while they ate, Kazuya discreetly took his pain meds, under the watchful eye of Eijun.

"Hey, brat," Kazuya asked, "I know you want to practice that pitch some more, wanna toss a few after we eat?"

"I'd love to, but I can ask someone else if you need to rest. Kariba or Ono would probably do it."

Kazuya glared. "No. I don't need rest; I need to see you burn that pitch into your memory. I have a feeling we're going to need that to get Raichi out today." He bent over and whispered into Eijun's ear, "More importantly, I don't want anyone else catching for you."

Eijun flustered at Kazuya a bit, and Kuramochi made a face. "Don't be gross in here, Miyuki. People are trying to eat!" He laughed raucously at his own joke.

"So, you wanna?" Kazuya asked.

"Of course."

After breakfast, they went to the practice building and Eijun pitched, while Kazuya caught _. He gets so excited about something simple, like a straight fastball, I love that about him. He's never been able to pitch that consistently; if he can get that down, he's going to be in a much better position. Between that and the changeup, given some time he'll be unstoppable._ They practiced for half an hour, which was all the time they had, really. Kuramochi stayed to watch, snarking and generally being his usual pain. Kazuya noticed, though, that Kuramochi was watching him closely. _Does he suspect? I wonder…he may have seen something last night._

After they quit, the boys spilt up to get ready for the game. Eijun dressed and grabbed his bag, heading upstairs to get Kazuya. He was on the computer and when Eijun walked in, he quickly closed what he was working on, turning to his boy.

Eijun walked over to Kazuya, dropping his bag as he entered the room. Wrapping his arms around his neck, he stepped in close, resting their foreheads together.

"Hi, beautiful." Kazuya whispered on a sigh.

Eijun leaned in for a kiss, and just as their lips meet, replied, "Hello, gorgeous."

Their mouths met, soft, gentle, loving. Soon, though, Eijun deepened the kiss, bringing tongue and want into play. Hands find hems of shirts, bare skin. Touching and tasting and feeling. Eventually, Kazuya broke the kiss.

"We probably shouldn't do much more of this; we need to get to the bus soon."

Eijun rested his head on Kazuya's shoulder. "Just a few minutes more, please. Can I just stay here for a bit?"

"Sure, take your time. I'm good here." Kazuya slid his arms back around Eijun's waist, holding him lightly.

"How's your side, Kazu? I saw you take medicine at breakfast."

"It hurts, as expected of the second day. But I don't think it's any worse. I should be fine, as long as I'm careful."

"That's good. I'll be watching you, too. If it looks like it's getting bad, I'm going to tell someone."

"I told you I'd let you know and I will."

"Kazuya. Have you met you? You won't tell me if it hurts more, you'll just rationalize it away."

"Okay, you win." Kazuya chuckled, he couldn't really deny it. "I think it might not be a secret for much longer, though."

Eijun jolted and looked at his boyfriend. "Why do you say that?"

"I think Kuramochi suspects something, he keeps watching me. If so, he won't keep it secret; he knows how much damage Ryou could have done to himself playing hurt."

"Oh, so he's not said anything to you?"

"Not yet. I expect he will, though."

Eijun's shoulders slumped, and he glanced away from Kazuya, heading for the door.

"We'd better get to the bus, can't have the captain be the last one there."

"Wait, Ei. Let me grab my stuff."

Together they walked to the bus, Eijun feeling guiltier than he'd expected, Kazuya thoughtful.

Game time. It was a beautiful, clear fall day, perfect for baseball. Not a cloud in the sky, and not many seats empty in the Meiji-Jingu Second Baseball Stadium. Seido was the away team this game, so they were scheduled to bat first. Before the warm-up, Eijun decided to go to the bathroom. Kazuya offered to take him but it was deemed unnecessary; the other team was familiar so any run-ins would probably be friendly. As Eijun walked away, Kazuya slipped into the team locker room—now empty—to take some medicine and try to stretch his side out a little. He was digging in his bag when he heard a footstep behind him.

"So you are hurt, idiot." Kuramochi.

"So it would appear. It'll be alright, it won't affect how I play."

"Idiot is the right word for you. Do you really think that your game play is all that I'm worried about?"

Kazuya paused. "Well, it's the only thing I'm worried about, so maybe? I don't think it's bad, it's just a strain. They'd bench me if they knew, and we really can't afford for me to be on the bench, can we? Captain, cleanup and catcher, right? That's my job description. That's what I am, that's what I'm worth. You and I both know it. I need to play, we need to win, and we need to keep the coach here. Nothing else matters."

"You _are_ an idiot, Kazuya, if that's all you think you are to us." Kuramochi glared at his idiot captain. "Yeah sure, you're a sarcastic asshole, but you're _our_ sarcastic asshole. Don't you dare try to minimize the team like that. When they find out about this, they're going to be upset and worried about _you,_ not about the catcher, captain and cleanup, dammit. So justify and spin it however you want, but we're all a team and we care about each other. Even manipulative bastards like you.

"If you insist on playing hurt, I'm not going to tell anyone. If it gets worse, _and I will know if it gets worse,_ I will say something. You won't be able to keep it secret long anyway; you're not moving normally, no matter how hard you're trying to."

"Thank you, Mochi." Kazuya was honestly floored; he'd never been appreciated by his fellow players as anything other than a smartass genius with a loud mouth. He also had his suspicions from earlier confirmed.

"Good. Now take those pills and get out there and warm up. Be careful, though. Please."

"I will."

Eijun was in a hurry to get to the bathroom and back to the field; he wanted to keep his eye on Kazuya. He walked in and saw someone coming out of a stall. It was Raichi. _Well, at least I know the guy by name._

"Hey, Raichi! How's it going?"

Raichi startled a bit, looking around. "Oh, it's only you. Sawamura, right? I've met some strange people in the bathrooms at games. Kyahahahaha!" he cackled.

"I know, right? We first years are not supposed to go to the bathrooms alone, but since we're playing you, it's fine." Eijun grinned.

Returning the grin, Raichi replied, "It will be a fun game! Too bad you're going to lose!"

"No way, we're going to beat you this time!"

"Wanna bet?"

"Sure!"

"Ok, what?"

"Pizza! The loser has to buy the winner pizza!"

"Ohhhhhh! I love pizza! You're on, pitcher-boy!"

"Give me your number!"

"Got it, I'll be texting you about when you'll be buying me pizza!"

"In your dreams, you crazy batter!"

Laughing together, they walked out of the bathroom chatting, in perfect accord. Neither one of them gave a thought to the fact they were on separate teams.

The game began. Eijun was worried and nervous, so he was even louder than usual, catcalling and offering advice. Seido's up first. Kuramochi hit when the count was full, and landed on first, stealing second when he got the chance. Toujou sacrifice bunts, 1 out, runner on third. Haruichi was walked, so there's runners on first and third. Kazuya hit a decent ball, but Yakushi managed a double play, retiring the side.

Nori was the starting pitcher, and he was ready to go. The first batter hit, Kuramochi caught it and threw him out. Second batter, strike out, 2 outs. The third batter got on first and Raichi was up next. Nori threw two balls, and then Raichi fouled. Next, he hit to the right field, and made it to first base. Runners on first and second. Sanada. Kazuya remembered that he seemed to target fastballs, so he called for a slider. Sanada swung and hit it deep into right field. Shirasu made a sliding catch, side out.

Second inning. Zono hit to the left field, gets on first. Next up, Shirasu. They pulled off a hit and run, and Zono made it to third, Shirasu on first. Hingasa hit a fly ball, caught and out, but Zono ran home, 1-0. Nori got out, but Shirasu advanced to third. Asou hit, but Raichi jumped and caught it, three outs, change.

Nori successfully struck out all three of the Yakushi batters, and the inning ended.

Third inning, back to the beginning of the rotation for Seido—Kuramochi gets on base. Toujou manages a hit and run, and Kuramochi runs home. 2-0. Haruichi hit a double, runners on second and third. Yakushi switched pitchers, Raichi took the mound. Miyuki was up next and he almost got hit by Raichi's first pitch. He managed to hit a fly to shortstop, out. Zono was up next and he got struck out. Hingasa's out, change.

For Yakushi, it's three up, three down.

Fourth inning, and the Seido lineup began with Nori, who also almost was hit by the ball. He managed to get a hit, but the ball was so fast, so hard, that the bat numbed his hands somewhat. He's out. The next two players were struck out as well, side retired.

Yakushi started with Raichi. He hit a sinker out of the park, single home run. 2-1. Sanada was up next, and got on first base. Hirahata, the sixth batter, hit towards Kuramochi, who caught it with his bare hand and threw it behind his back to Haruichi. Haruichi tagged second and then threw the ball to Zono. Double play. Nori walked the next batter, and then pitched a dead ball, there are runners on first and second. Moriyama hit and brought home the runner on second. Coach Kataoka subbed in Eijun. Runners on first and third, top of the lineup. Kazuya headed to the mound to talk to Eijun.

"Let's get them out and make them bring out Sanada, he's got to be tired. You nervous, Eijun?"

"No, Kazuya, I'm not; I'm at the top of my game." Eijun was anxious to play; he'd had been checking with Kazuya as the day wore on, but he wanted to be close enough to really watch him.

First batter. First pitch, inside, strike. Second pitch, outside, ball. Third pitch, hit to the right field, and Hingasa missed the ball, one run comes in, score is 2-3. Next batter fouled the first two pitches. Kazuya wants to send a message with the next pitch. _If he could do it this morning, after the night he had, it's sure to be burned into his brain…Ei, let me see you pitch this one…_ The third pitch was the straight fastball, and strike three, batter out, side retired.

Fifth inning. Raichi walked the first three batters, Kuramochi, Shirasu and Haruichi. Kazuya has his turn at bat and strikes out. Eijun watched him worriedly; he's not yet gotten on base. Zono hit a fly ball to right field, Kuramochi makes it home and the score was tied, 3-3. Raichi walked the next batter, bases loaded, two outs. Hingasa was at bat. Yakushi switched out pitchers, calling Sanada to the mound, and moving Raichi to third base. Hingasa swung at the first pitch and hit it, but it was caught by Raichi, side out.

On the way to the dugout, Zono approached Kazuya.

"Hey, Miyuki. I've noticed you're not moving like you should. Did you get—" Kuramochi cut him off, they were in front of the whole team.

"Not now, Zono."

"Yes, _now,_ Kuramochi. We need to know. Wait a second…did you already know? Captain, what do you have to say?" Eijun stepped forward, but Kazuya waved him back.

"It's true I've not been playing as well as I should…" Kazuya looked at the coach, who had been watching intently the whole time. "And if you think my performance is harming the team and warrants me being benched, I won't argue. I'll obey your orders, coach."

Coach Kataoka stared hard at Kazuya. "Okay then, that's exactly how this will work. If I say you're out, you're out immediately, got it? If I think you're harming yourself or the team, you're getting pulled from the game, regardless of how you feel about that.

"However, I'm not the one playing on the field. You guys are, and you're representing the rest of the team _and_ the third years in the stands. So don't hesitate to play your best the whole game, and make your mark on the world. Go and show them your baseball—the Seido way!"

The team cheered, and Kazuya turned to Ono.

"Be ready. If I goof up, he's going to sub me out."

They ran out to the field. On the way, Kazuya told Eijun, "Start with the first batter. We're against the clean-ups."

Kuramochi chimed in. "Yeah, they're gunning for you, Sawamura. Don't get too excited."

"Bring 'em" Eijun's eyes were bright and his face determined. Time to go.

First up for Yakushi—Mishima, the third hole. Raichi on deck. Kazuya wanted to avoid having anyone on base when Raichi batted, to mitigate any damage from the monster batter. First pitch, 4 seam, low and away. Strike. 2nd pitch. Inside corner, crossfire. Foul. 0-2 is the count. Third pitch. For the first time in this game, Kazuya called for a changeup. Strike, and the crowd seems shocked by this pitch as well. Batter out, and the battery grin at each other, well satisfied. Raichi's up next. Kazuya called for a straight fastball to the inside. To no one's surprise, Raichi hit it. To everyone's surprise, Eijun jammed him, causing the ball not to go too far; Raichi only managed to get to first base. Sanada. On the first pitch, Raichi tried to steal second. Kazuya threw to Haruichi, but it's a bad throw and Raichi made it to base. Eijun exchanged a worried glance with Kuramochi, and Kazuya called for a timeout.

"Are you alright? How's your side?" Eijun asked, worriedly.

"I'm fine; it was just a bad throw." Kazuya assured his pitcher. Eijun didn't look convinced.

"Kazuya, I swear to god, you'd better be telling me the truth. You don't have to carry this team by yourself; you can trust all of us to help. I'm here for you, and everyone else is standing at your back."

"I...I'm beginning to see that, Eijun. I've been told that already once today. Back to business. You can pitch this; we can get these guys out—you ready?"

Eijun nodded, Kazuya patted him with his mitt and headed back to home plate. Squatting down, he signaled for a crossfire, inside and at chest height. Eijun pitched and Sanada hit, he's managed to jam him as well, so only a single. Man on first and third. Next up, the six-hole tries to bunt, foul. Outside pitch, ball. Next pitch, outside 4-seam, bunt again, this time a good one—Raichi gets home, 3-4 is the score.

"DAMMMMITTTTTT!" Eijun yelled on the mound, upset about the play.

"Sawamura! Worry about it later, we still have a runner on second! Let's go! One more out!" Kazuya reminded him.

"I WILLLLLL!"

"Well, at least he still has plenty of energy."

 ** _BANG!_** Looking over, the players see Furuya warming up, glaring at Eijun.

"FURUYA! It's not your turn yet, why are you even warming up?" Eijun complained, and settled back into pitching. Yonehara hits a grounder to second, out. 3-4.

Sixth inning. Kazuya was in the locker room being checked over. "It looks like you've just done something to your obliques; they're either badly wrenched or torn, it's hard to say which. You need to see a doctor."

"Why didn't you say something? You know how bad Chris got, you should know better!" Rei demanded.

"Well, I figured that we just had one more game and if I could hold out, it would be fine."

She was not placated. "But what about the Jingu tournament? If you're too bad, you won't be able to play in that either."

"If we don't win here, Rei-chan, we're going to say goodbye to the Senbatsu and the Jingu, as well as Coach Kataoka." Taken aback by his words, she subsided.

"If he couldn't play, he'd say so." Kuramochi interjected. "So he'll be fine."

"You've got to stop with the tough-guy act!" Zono added.

"Well, the coach has already decided what's going on, and if he wants me out, he'll pull me."

"That's right. I told him, and them, that I will bench him when I think he needs it." Coach Kataoka agreed. They all headed back out to the field.

In the meantime, Eijun's up first and no one expected anything of him. Grounded to first, out. Asou was up, and he makes it to first base, overjoyed. Top of the lineup again, Kuramochi. He hit, but was tagged out. Next, Shirasu suffered the same fate, side change. Three up, three down. End of the inning.

Seventh inning. Haruichi's up, and broke his bat hitting Sanada's pitch, out. Kazuya at bat. He hit a ball towards third base, Raichi dove and caught it, two outs. Zono struck out, and the side is retired.

FIrst up for Yakushi, Masuda, their second batter. He's out with a line drive to first base. Next, Mishima, the first of the cleanups. He's cornered, 0-2 count, and he hit one to left field, single. Raichi approached the plate. Kazuya settled into position, and the crowd was shocked that Seido's choosing to fight, rather than walk him. First pitch, changeup. Perfectly executed, plenty low, Raichi swung, foul. Second pitch and Kazuya called for another changeup. Eijun nodded, trusting his catcher, and threw. This pitch was even lower than the previous one; Raichi swings, fouls again. 0-2 count and he's cornered. Third pitch. _We're a battery, Ei, we work together to get the batters out, and we're the best one here. Let's show the stadium that, right here, right now. Give me your best pitch, we can do this._ Eijun agrees to the pitch called, grinning fiercely. _This is why I'm here, Kazu. You and me, playing together. We can do this, I know it, I trust you._ Eijun threw a straight fastball to Raichi's chest, just as they'd practiced. Raichi swings and misses. Strike three, batter out. The only people in the stadium that were not shocked are Eijun and Kazuya, and they grinned at each other, ecstatic. Kazuya snags Eijun's attention.

"Sawamura!" Eijun looked at him, and Kazuya raised two fingers. Eijun nodded. _We only have two outs, one more to go. Let's do this, Kazu._ Sanada was the next batter. First pitch, changeup, strike one. Second pitch, outside fastball, Sanada swings, and it's foul. Long and foul. 0-2 the count. Third pitch, Fastball, ball. 1-2. Fourth pitch, inside fastball. Strike, batter out. Side retired.

Eighth inning. The coach told the team to be aggressive and don't wait for a perfect pitch, hit from the first pitch. Shirasu hit to first, out. Kanemaru was pinch hitting for Hingasa. He hit to center field, made it to second base. Eijun bunted exactly as the coach requires and is out, but advanced Kanemaru to third. Asou was up next. He stands away from the plate. First pitch, ball. Second one he hit, and it's out. Side retired. Coach Kataoka talked to the battery before they head to the field.

"Sawamura, I want to see you pitch the best that you have since coming to Seido! And Miyuki, I'm depending on you. We're at the bottom of the lineup, but don't rest easy!"

Kazuya signed, Eijun pitched, and soon the three batters were out, side retired, end of inning. 3-4 was still the score.

Ninth inning. First up, Kuramochi. He hit and was tagged out on first. Next, Toujou. He strikes out, and now there are two outs. It's up to Haruichi. He swung on the first pitch, hit over the center fielder's head and gets on base. Kazuya was up next. First pitch, swung and missed, but Haruichi stole second. Two balls thrown in a row, 2-1 count. Kazuya hit and made it to first, Haruichi advanced to third. It's Zono's turn at bat. First pitch, strike, and Kazuya stole second. Runners on second and third. Next pitch, strike again, and Zono's cornered, 2 strikes. Several balls and fouls later, Zono hit the sixth pitch out over the second baseman's head. Haruichi runs home, as does Kazuya. Shirasu's up, and he's out. Side retired, 5-4.

Yakushi's last at bat. The coach switched out Sawamura, letting Furuya take the mound for the last inning. Kazuya watched Eijun closely when he delivered the news, and saw him blink, quickly, hiding his disappointment. He moved over next to Eijun and squeezed his hand in sympathy before heading out to the field. First batter, Akiba, struck out. The second hit a fly to third base, batter out. Mishima hit a low pitch, grounding to second. Side retired, game over, Seido's going to Koshien.

The team spilled onto the field, laughing and hugging and generally acting like idiots, as expected. Patting his teammates on the back as they passed, Kazuya snagged Eijun into a hug and whispered in his ear, "I'm so proud of you, Eijun. You did so well."

"You too, Kazu. You were amazing."

Lining up, they bowed to Yakushi, shaking hands and murmuring their thanks. Eijun shook Raichi's hand. "You owe me some pizza, banana boy!"

"Kyahahaha! I do! I'll call you later. I want to hit your pitches again, too. I won't lose next time!" They grinned at each other, already fast friends. Kazuya and Sanada exchanged glances of sympathy—those two idiots were clearly destined to be friends, and they were the ones who'd have to deal with their messes.

The team left the field and headed to the changing room, everyone in high spirits. Rei told Kazuya that she was going to take him to the hospital after he was dressed, and Eijun changed quickly so he could accompany them. As they drove away, the boys saw the team tossing Coach Kataoka in the air. Their hands laced together and they smiled, watching the scene. Eijun leaned over and whispered. "You did it, Kazuya. You kept the coach around. I know partly it was for me, so thank you."

Kazuya squeezed his hand and replied. "There's no way I could have done this without you. We did this, together. The team did this." Eijun hummed his agreement, and they sat in exhausted silence until they reached the hospital. Once there, Kazuya was checked over by the doctor, who told him he had a bad strain of his obliques, and needed three weeks of no practicing. Kazuya was not happy, but it was nothing unexpected, so he accepted the diagnosis and the medication, and back they went.

Eijun was a mess. He was relieved it wasn't something bad, but he was feeling increasingly guilty for telling Kuramochi about the injury. He knew how furious and hurt Kazuya was going to be and he also acknowledged that he had acted exactly like Kazuya did with Ochiai. As the thoughts swirled in his head, he got quieter until Kazuya noticed. "You're really tired, huh? I've not seen you this quiet for a while." He commented as they walked from Rei's car back to the dorms where the celebration was sure to be in full swing.

"Kazuya, I…I need to tell you something." Eijun started, looking anywhere but at his boyfriend.

Kazuya chuckled a little, internally. _Poor Ei, I can see he's feeling so guilty, he looks miserable. I know he told Mochi this morning, it was obvious. Do I let him off the hook? In a bit, I think. Wait to see what he says._ "Ok, what is it? Is everything all right?"

"Can we go someplace private?"

"Of course. Tree? Or my room?"

"Your room would probably be better, and then we'd be closer to the party afterwards."

They walked in silence, Eijun dying just a little more with every step. He was scared— although he thought Kazuya wouldn't do anything drastic, he didn't know it for a fact. They entered Kazuya's room and closed the door, and Eijun sat on the bed, with Kazuya taking the desk chair.

"What's wrong, Eijun?" Kazuya asked, gently.

Eijun wrung his hands, watching the way they intertwined. "I...I...you're going to be so mad at me. And you'd be right. But I...it was the only thing that made sense and I…" he trailed off, and Kazuya watched him, carefully.

"Eijun." Eijun's head shot up, and he looked Kazuya dead in the eye, gathering all of his courage, and told him.

"I told Kuramochi that you were hurt. I know I promised, and I am sorry for breaking that promise, but I wanted someone else to watch you and I wanted him to understand what happened last night and I know I'm acting just like—" Kazuya cut off Eijun's babbling.

"Eijun." Eijun stopped talking. "I already knew you told him, I figured it out this morning. Believe me when I say I understand the need to protect someone you love. It's okay, I'm not mad. I was a little surprised at first, and a bit hurt that you'd break your promise, but after thinking about it, I realized I'd probably do the same thing, given the circumstances. You were really just looking out for me, how could I be mad about that? I love that you were so worried about me, and that you felt like Kuramochi deserved an explanation. It couldn't have been an easy decision to make."

Eijun just sat there, stunned. _He knew? And he wasn't mad?_

Kazuya stood and pulled Eijun to his feet. Wrapping his arms around his pitcher, he hugged him close. "Come here, brat. We did it. We're going to Koshien. The coach isn't leaving. We did it."

Eijun finally moved. Sliding his arms around Kazuya's neck, he pressed their foreheads together. "Miyuki Kazuya, I love you so damned much, you have no idea. You're a marvel. And we're going to Koshien."

Kazuya smiled at his boy, and tilted his head, bringing him in for a kiss. Right before their lips met, he suggested. "What do you think about having our own celebration here, before we join the party?"

"Yes, please." Eijun responded, leaning in to meet him.

And that's exactly what they did.


	32. Hell Week- Are YOU Ready?

"Ugh! Why is the 'Training Camp from Hell' so hard?" Eijun panted, running up the stairs with Furuya on his back. "Hey, asshole, you'd better not be asleep back there! It's my turn next!"

Beside him, Kazuya snorted. "It's called 'Hell' for a reason, idiot. It's not supposed to be easy!" He made it up to the top of the stairs and shifted Kuramochi, regaining his balance.

Kuramochi laughed. "Yeah, Bakamura, what did you expect from 'Hell Week'? Dancing girls and sake? Those are things that take you to hell, not things that happen there."

"I know that, Mochi-senpai. It's just…" Eijun trailed off, trying to adjust to running over the flat ground with a sleeping Furuya.

Kazuya eyed his boyfriend carefully. He looked tired, but not at the brink of breaking. Kazuya let out a sigh of relief, which did not go unnoticed by the boy on his back. Leaning close to Kazuya's ear, Kuramochi whispered. "He's fine, you worry too much."

Kazuya let out a brief huff of amusement and agreeance and continued to run, carrying the shortstop.

"I'm done, off to the bath." Eijun singsonged, so exhausted he didn't have much control over anything. He took his tray to the window and grinned at the lunch ladies. "Thank you for dinner!" He walked across the room and stopped by the table where Kazuya was still eating with Kuramochi, plopping down into the spot next to his boyfriend. "Hey, Kazuya. Wanna hang out later?"

"I can't Ei; I have some things I have to do." Kazuya smiled at him apologetically, but Eijun knew it was his fake smile, the fake smile he'd been showing for the last few days. Something was up; Kazuya was hiding something. "If I get done I'll come grab you, ok?" His smile softened into something fonder as he looked at his exhausted boy, ruffling his hair in apology. Eijun pouted, but nodded.

"You'd better come find me when you're done, tanuki. I mean it." He glared at Kazuya, but he was so tired he looked more like a petulant kitten than any kind of threat. Kazuya agreed, swallowing his chuckle. Eijun got up and headed for the bath.

"I don't know what you're up to, but you're not fooling him at all." Kuramochi warned.

Kazuya sighed. "I know. There are a couple of things. I do have to go pick up his gift, it was delivered today. That's not what's been bugging me the last few days, though. I still haven't told my father that I'm not coming home for the break. I don't know what he'll say—I really don't care what he says, but I don't want to make anything harder than it has to be."

"You need to speak to your father, idiot. You can't just take off and not tell him. I only know what you've told me, but he doesn't sound totally unreasonable."

"He is when it comes to Nagano. He goes back to visit my mother's grave and that's it. He won't even eat a meal there. I'm going; I'm just not looking forward to having that conversation."

"Well call him already, wouldja? I'm tired of dealing with a worried Bakamura."

"I will, tonight."

"Good."

Kazuya dialed the number reluctantly. While he waited for his father to pick up, he inspected Eijun's New Year's present. It was perfect, all the hours he'd spent on it had paid off. He really hoped Eijun would love it and not get upset with him. He figured the odds were in his favor; Eijun oftentimes understood him better than he did himself. He heard a click on the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Dad, it's me."

"Kazuya! How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, thank you. And you?"

"Well, thank you. I'm looking forward to seeing you in a few days." _Why? So you can try to talk me into following your footsteps and belittle my choices, ignoring me the rest of the time?_ Kazuya took a deep breath.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm not coming home for the New Year; I'm going to stay with a friend." Silence greeted that announcement.

Eventually, he spoke. "Is it someone I know? Where do they live?"

"I'm not sure that you know him," he hedged, he didn't remember his father ever meeting Eijun, "and he's from Nagano." Kazuya heard the inhale over the phone. _Here it comes._

"Kazuya, you won't even go there to visit her grave, why would you go there now? And why to Nagano? It's a god-forsaken place with nothing but farms; and don't get me started on the people. God knows what your mother saw in it, she loved it there."

"I understand you don't like Nagano but that's where my friend lives, so that's where I'm going." Kazuya stuck to his message, refusing to be sidetracked.

His father sighed. "You're going to have to grow up and give up this baseball stupidity someday, Kazuya. The sooner, the better. I'm not getting any younger and you need to learn this trade if you're going to take over running the shop."

Kazuya ran his hand through his hair. "Dad. We're not having this conversation right now; you know how I feel about that. I just wanted to let you know about the break. I'll visit you one weekend after the New Year, ok?"

"All right, Kazuya. What did you say the name of your friend was?"

"I didn't, Dad. It's Sawamura Eijun." He heard the sharp intake of breath.

"Not that kid you used to hang around with? From that crazy family where the Grandfather smacked everyone in range and the father looks like some kind of Elvis wanna-be?"

Kazuya knew better than to argue with his father when he used that voice, he wouldn't listen to anything he had to say. "Yes, that's the one."

"Kazuya, those are not our type of people. I knew when you were younger I should have stopped you from hanging around him but your mother convinced me otherwise. Don't tell me he's going to Seido and playing baseball? How can they afford it? They're poor and Seido's costing me a fortune!"

"I don't know and it's really none of our business. Anyway, I'll see you after the New Year, ok?"

"Ok, son. But don't forget that you don't belong there; your place is with me, running our shop. Baseball is well and good for when you're young but it's not going to be your future."

"Goodnight, Dad, have a nice New Year."

"Goodnight, son."

Kazuya hung up the phone and threw it on the bed, sitting down heavily beside it. He rested his head in his hands and groaned. He was exhausted; they were in the fourth day of training camp, and his head was a mess. He knew his father was wrong about so many things but he also knew that his father would not listen to a thing he said. _I wish I could talk to Eijun about this. I don't want to hurt his feelings by telling him what my father said. If I don't talk to him soon he's going to start thinking all kinds of strange things. He may even think that I'm tired of him; I can't put him through that. I know how he gets when he's tired, he doesn't have the ability to think straight. I have to deal with this tonight. Maybe it'll make me feel better, too._

Kazuya grabbed a fleece from the bed and threw on his thickest hoodie. He walked down to the cafeteria to see if anyone was still around—he was capable of making his own hot chocolate, but wouldn't mind if someone else did. Some of the workers were still in but they were just hanging around chatting, so he made the cocoa himself. They let him do that but provided him with a large thermos and a bag of cookies for a snack. Armed with his supplies, he went to Eijun's room to retrieve his boyfriend.

Eijun was sitting on his bed trying to read his latest manga. He was having a hard time concentrating; his mind kept going back to Kazuya, wondering what was going on with him. He was distracted enough by the thoughts that he'd normally be out running to clear his head, but he was exhausted and didn't think he could run a step. _I wonder what's going on with him. I hope he's ok. Did I do something to him? Is he upset about something I did? Is he having second thoughts about going to Nagano? Maybe he's tired of me...maybe he's decided I'm not worth…_

"Stop thinking so hard, Bakamura, I can hear you from up here." Kuramochi's disembodied voice drifted down to Eijun. "Whatever you're thinking, you're wrong. It's not about you, it's nothing you did. He'll tell you when he's ready."

Eijun startled. _How does he do that?_ "Thank you, Mochi-senpai. Really." He fell backwards on his bed and stared at the bottom of the bunk above him. There were pictures shoved in between the slats; pictures of the summer just passed, the fall, tournaments and practice and the senpai. Pictures of _them_ , of the two of them laughing, of them arguing, playing together, just talking.

And then there was that picture. His _favorite_ picture. It was a picture of them together, of course, but it was special. He didn't know how Haruichi had gotten that close to them without being noticed, although he had his suspicions. It was just the two of them, in profile, standing in the middle of the baseball field where everything was bathed in the golden light of sunset. Their foreheads were touching and their eyes were open, Kazuya's hand was gently cupping Eijun's cheek and Eijun had his hands resting easily on Kazuya's hips. That was all well and good, but the very best part, the part that got Eijun teary every time he looked at it, was the looks on their faces; they were so together, so caught up in each other.

Kazuya had never seen it. When Haruichi had first shown it to Eijun, he knew he'd found the perfect present. He asked Haruichi not to show Kazuya the photo, and he printed up a copy of it to frame and give to Kazuya for a New Year's gift. He'd also printed a smaller copy for himself, and slid that one under the slats so it was hidden whenever Kazuya came around. He got him something useful as well, but he really thought he'd love the photo…he hoped he'd love the photo. His eyes drifted over to his desk, to the snapshot of them when they were children that Kazuya had gifted him with, and he smiled. Yeah, he was going to love it.

There was a knock on the door and Eijun jumped a bit. "You get it, 'mura, it's going to be for you. I told you he'd come around."

Eijun answered the door, and there stood Kazuya, clad in his thickest hoodie, clutching his backpack. "Can we talk, Ei?

"Sure!" He responded, smiling. "Where do you want to go?"

"I thought some tree time might be a good idea. Wear a warm hoodie; it's not terrible out but we'll be sitting."

"Hang onna sec, Kazu." He grabbed his warm hoodie and tossed it on, slipping on his tennies. "Ok, let's go!"

"Oi! Don't be out too late, idiots! We still have a couple of days of training left." Kuramochi yelled as they closed the door.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Kazuya snuggled up next to Eijun, slotting their fingers together. "I'm sorry that I've been distant, Eijun. That's what I want to talk to you about, ok?"

Eijun squeezed his hand and nodded his agreement. "Ok, then. Let's find our tree."

Together they strolled (they were tired, neither one could manage a quicker pace) to their tree. Kazuya pulled the blanket out of his backpack and laid it down. He only unfolded it enough for one of them to sit on and motioned for Eijun to sit first. _He's feeling bad about something. I can count on one hand the number of times he's started out on my lap..._ Eijun mused as he sat. Kazuya slid into his lap and slid his arms around his waist. He laid his head on Eijun's shoulders. Eijun wrapped his arms around him, rubbing circles on his back, running his fingers through his hair. They sat like that for a while, not talking.

"What's wrong, Kazuya? You've got to talk to me; I know something's been bugging you." Eijun figured he'd lead off with the worst-case scenario and back it down from there. "Did I do something wrong? Are you rethinking coming to Nagano?"

Kazuya's head popped up. "Are you kidding me, Ei? What would ever give you that idea?"

"You've been avoiding me for _days_. You have your fake smile going again, too. I hate that thing. I'm too tired to run and work things out myself, please just tell me." Eijun dropped his eyes, unwilling to see the look on Kazuya's face.

"Oh, no. Nononono." Kazuya put his fingers under Eijun's chin and met his eyes. "Eijun, please don't think anything like that. You know when I'm mad at you, I suck at hiding it. The thought of going home with you is one of the only things that keeps me going right now. It's other stuff that's bothering me and I really want to talk to you about it, I _need_ to talk to you about it, but I'm not quite sure how."

Eijun sighed in relief. "I'm glad. I'm sorry, my imagination runs away with me when I'm tired; I always think of the worst possible scenario. Why are you unsure of how to talk to me?"

"It's...I don't want to hurt your feelings or upset you. But I really need your help here, so I'm going to have to chance it, I guess. Just...just. Please. Don't shut me out, ok? Understand that I hate this, hate having to talk to you about this." Eijun looked at him in concern.

"Ok, now you really have my imagination running wild, Kazuya. Just spit it out, it can't be any worse than where my brain just went."

"It's about my father." Eijun instantly deflated, relieved, leaning hard on Kazuya's shoulder.

"Ohthankgod. All I could think of was that either you were dying or I was getting booted from the baseball team." Kazuya chuckled a little at that.

"I don't know which of those you'd consider worse, and I'm not sure my ego could take the answer."

"Idiot catcher. I don't even have the energy to tease you. You know you're more important than baseball to me." Eijun sat up straight. "Wait, your father's not sick, is he?"

"No, no. I'd better tell you so you can stop freaking out, huh?" Kazuya laid his head back on Eijun's shoulder, gaining some comfort from his warmth. "I called him tonight to tell him I was going to Nagano for the New Year."

"You hadn't told him yet?"

"No, there are some issues between us that we've not yet resolved, and that's one of the things I want to talk to you about. But this first. Anyway, I called him and told him I was going to Nagano. He wasn't happy I was going, he said that the place was nothing but farms." Eijun shrugged at that.

"That's a fair assessment."

"Then he asked who I was going with, and I told him your name. I didn't think he'd remember you; I don't recall if you ever spoke to him."

"I did a few times. I remember he was very proper and very scary. I tried to stay away from him. I loved your mom, though. She was sweet, even when she was sick."

"I know she loved your fire. She used to tell me to pay attention to you, that you were a force to be reckoned with and together we could do anything we wanted." Eijun sniffled.

"I know you miss her so much, Kazuya. I do too." Kazuya bent down and kissed Eijun softly.

"Thank you, Ei. Anyway, my father was nasty about your family, and I...I just wanted you to know that I never thought any of the things he's said. So if he ever says anything to you, it's not my opinion. I've loved your family for almost as long as I've loved you, and..." Eijun put his finger over Kazuya's lips, stopping his rambling.

"Kazuya. I believe you. Now, what did he say?" Kazuya kissed his finger and moved his hand away. He laced his fingers with Eijun's and watched the way they fit together, afraid to see Eijun's expression.

"He said your family was crazy—your grandfather smacked everyone who got in range, and your father looks like some kind of Elvis wanna-be." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Eijun's chest hitch, and he started making choking noises. Looking up, Eijun's face was bright red, like he was going to explode.

"Eijun, talk to me!"

Eijun made a noise like a teakettle coming to boil, and then he burst out in gales of laughter. "An Elvis wanna-be? Oh my god, that's perfect! I'm going to call him that, he'll love it."

Kazuya was so confused.

"Wait, what? You're not mad?" Eijun tried to control his laughter, but he was having a hard time doing so. He sobered up the best he could, he could tell that Kazuya was lost.

"I'm not mad!" He squeaked out. "He's not wrong about my family. We're crazy and Gramps hits everyone. Plus my dad _does_ look like some kind of Elvis wanna-be." He got himself under control, and looked at Kazuya. "Is that it, Kazuya?"

"Well he also said you guys were poor and wondered how you could afford Seido."

"There he's also right. I can only come here because of the scholarship that the school offered; otherwise I'd be in the local high school in Nagano." Eijun pulled Kazuya down into a hug, tightly. "Kazu, is that what you've been beating yourself up over for days? No, you said you called him tonight, so he just said those things. What else is going on?"

"Well, I think I told you that he wants me to run his shop, right? It's a metalworking shop and it's huge, he employs hundreds of people. He's been getting more and more insistent that I leave school and come learn the trade, work for him and forget baseball.

"To tell the truth, I'm scared. He can do that, he's my guardian until I'm twenty and I have to do what he says. I just turned seventeen; I need to get through three more years before I'm completely free. Eijun, he's never cared about me. He just sees me as someone he can parade around and brag about.

"That's why I put off calling him, that's what's been in my head for the last few days. I don't know what I'm going to do. He mentioned it again when I called tonight."

Eijun put his hands on either side of Kazuya's face, forcing him to look him in the eye. "Miyuki Kazuya, I'll tell you this one more time. You're not alone. You have me; you have the team and the coaches. If he threatens to cut you off, we'll get you a scholarship. If he wants to take you away, we'll hide you until we figure something out. Whatever he tries, whatever he does, you will never be in this alone again." Eijun rubbed his thumbs along his boy's cheekbones.

Kazuya let out a gusty sigh, seeming to relax all at once. "I love you, Sawamura Eijun. I really do." He leaned over and kissed Eijun, gently, softly, sweetly, and Eijun could taste the salt of his tears. He pulled Kazuya in closer, deepened the kiss, pouring every bit of comfort he could into the shaken boy. After a while, Kazuya pulled away a little, just enough to breathe.

"You know, I wasn't bothered by what he said about my family. But the shit he's doing to you? That's got me seriously pissed off and if he actually tries anything with you, I'm sure I won't be the only one."

Kazuya chuckled, a bit wetly. "Kazuya Defense Squad, Assemble?"

"Precisely."

"Urgh. Let's just let it rest for now; I'm so glad I talked to you about it. I should have done it as soon as I started thinking so much. You're such a big help." He reached over to grab his backpack and unzipped it. "I brought some hot chocolate, and the ladies gave me some cookies."

Eijun grinned. "See? I told you! Getting friendly with the lunch ladies is one of the best ideas I ever had."

"I beg to differ. _We're_ the best idea you ever had." Eijun smacked him in the arm, mindful of the hot chocolate.

"So embarrassing. As much as I hate to admit it, you're right. We are."

They ate and talked and kissed under the tree, until the hot chocolate and the cookies were gone, and they headed back to their dorm rooms.

They still had two days of Hell Week before they could leave for home.

Two days of Hell Week felt like twenty. They were exhausted, not getting enough sleep or rest of any kind. They ran from activity to activity, working every muscle in their bodies, and then cycling around to begin again. They ate massive amounts of food and burnt it all off.

Kazuya and Eijun, now that they'd gotten the air cleared, had almost no time together; both knew that they'd be spending the next week in Nagano. There were passing hugs, one or the other being dragged behind the soda machines/staircase/dugout for a quick make out or just snuggle session, but not much time to talk, no time for each other.

Then it was done.

Hell Week was over, and they'd survived.

That night they packed. Eijun carefully packing both of Kazuya's presents in the middle of his (mostly dirty) clothes, and Kazuya wrapping Eijun's in a soft shirt to protect it on the trip.

They lined up their duffle bags next to each other by Kazuya's door, changed for bed, and for the first time in a week, curled up together to sleep.

Kazuya's alarm was set for six, and by nine, they were on a train.

They were headed home.


	33. You Can Go Home Again

The ride to Nagano was only about an hour and a half, not enough time for a nap, but enough to get comfortable, enough to get nervous. Or at least for Kazuya to get nervous. He didn't want to say anything to Eijun, he knew he was super excited, and Kazuya was as well, but he was...nervous. _What if his mom really doesn't like me? What if I'm a disappointment, I'm not the cute kid I used to be. What if his father or grandfather disapproves of us? Oh, and Wakana...what about Wakana?_

"At the risk of sounding like Mochi-senpai, Kazuya, stop thinking so much. Everything you're thinking is not true, never going to happen. They're going to love you; they already love you."

"You sound so sure, Ei."

"Yup. I have no doubt."

"I wish I didn't."

Eijun leaned over and quickly kissed Kazuya on the cheek.

"I'll have enough faith for both of us, then." He gave Kazuya's hand a brief squeeze.

"Did I tell you? I told the 'rents that we'd walk from the station and that we didn't know when we were getting in, so not to try and meet our train. I thought that it might be good for us to walk after being cooped up, and give you the chance to settle a bit. All this sitting isn't good for the brain."

Kazuya snorted. "Only you, idiot, would think it was a bad thing to rest."

"Hey! I'm sure there's a study out there somewhere about it! It's gotta be true." Kazuya laughed, and Eijun joined him. _Distraction, that's what he needs. If I can keep him distracted, he'll be fine._ They bickered about it for the rest of the ride, Eijun making even grander claims while Kazuya mocked. Kazuya forgot to be nervous.

When the train pulled into the station, Kazuya remembered. Eijun squeezed his hand, whispering, "Don't ruin all my hard work!"

They disembarked from the train and crossed the platform. As they approached the stairs, they heard a voice.

"Kazu-kun!" Turning towards the sound, Kazuya barely registered the person running towards them when he found himself wrapped in a tight embrace. Eijun's mom. He felt her kiss his face and her damp cheek pressed against his as she whispered in his ear. " _Okaeri_ , Kazuya, I missed you so much." She held him like she'd never let him go, like he was so _very_ important.

He was stunned. His eyes filled, and he found himself hugging her back, burying his face in her shoulder, tears falling. " _Tadaima_."

Eijun blinked back his tears, smiling at the scene in front of him. After a bit, he complained. "Hey! How about your real kid?"

"I see _you_ all the time, Eijun. I always liked this son better anyway."

"That's what I said! Wait! You shouldn't say that to my face, I might get a complex."

She laughed and unwrapped one arm. "Come here, Eijun. There's plenty of room." Eijun stepped into the comforting embrace of his mother, Kazuya a familiar presence at his side.

"Hi, Mom! I'm so glad to see you. Can I _please_ have my boyfriend back?" He laughed into her hair. She smacked him and pushed him away, keeping one arm around Kazuya's waist.

"Go away, you, I'm keeping this one. He's mine."

Kazuya glanced at Eijun. "You don't seem terribly surprised to see her here."

"No, I knew she was meeting the train, I texted her when we were getting in."

"You lied to me? And you lied _convincingly?_ I must be rubbing off on you; you're getting as manipulative as me."

"Thank you! But it was for a good cause, I knew that you'd worry yourself into a mess if you thought she was meeting us." Kazuya stared at Eijun for a second, and then smiled.

"Thanks, Ei." He reached out his hand and squeezed Eijun's.

Eijun's mom, Sawamura Chika, stepped back and looked Kazuya over closely.

"You've grown up nicely, Kazuya. You're taller than Eijun, huh?" She smirked at Eijun. "He used to give you such a hard time for being shorter than him; I hope you haven't forgotten that."

"Mom, really? You haven't even gotten him home and you're giving him hints on how to make my life miserable? Trust me, he doesn't need any, he's good at it already."

Kazuya smirked at his boy. "I haven't forgotten, Sawamura-san." Eijun's eyes widened in horror and he started shaking his head, waving his hands, trying to get Kazuya to stop. "I remember everything." Eijun dropped his head in his hands, shaking it in dismay.

Kazuya watched him quizzically.

"Clearly you haven't remembered _everything_ , Kazu-kun." Chika's arm tightened around Kazuya and she started radiating an aura that rivaled the one released by Furuya. "If you did, you'd remember what happens to boys who call me _Sawamura-san_." Kazuya shivered a little.

"I'm sorry...Mom." She nodded, satisfied.

"That's better." She hooked an arm through Eijun's. "Let's go home, shall we?"

The boys grinned at each other over the top of her head, and followed her to the car.

"Kazuya, I didn't know what you like to eat; Eijun wasn't very helpful in that regard." Eijun just shrugged. "All he'd say is that you like to eat normal stuff."

"I'll be happy with whatever you cook."

"And if you don't like it, you'll just trade with Eijun, right? Don't think I've forgotten the carrot-broccoli exchanges. I hope you've grown out of that."

Eijun and Kazuya exchanged yet another amused glance.

"Don't worry, Mom, he eats his carrots now, and I'll eat anything but natto, remember?"

Eijun and Kazuya dropped their bags into the trunk, and slid into the back seat. Their hands found each other, fingers intertwining. Eijun slanted a glance at Kazuya, checking on him. He looked back and gave him a small smile, eyes alight. Eijun let out a sigh, shoulders relaxing. Fingers flexed, hands squeezed, and the pair knew everything was going to be fine.

On the drive, they chatted about school and Hell Week, Chika asked about Kazuya's injury and Eijun told her about their teammates, Kazuya interjecting commentary as he felt necessary. It was comfortable, and Kazuya was surprised at how easily he'd slid back into the 'other son' role with Eijun's mom. _I guess I shouldn't be, though. Eijun and I fit back together easily as well._ Before he knew it, they were pulling into the driveway of a familiar house.

"I didn't know you still lived here!"

"Yeah, we've never wanted to move."

Eijun walked around to the trunk and grabbed the bags, handing Kazuya's over. "Here, Kazu, I'm not carrying your bag."

"You should! I'm your senpai, brat, show some respect!"

"You're a crappy senpai, you tanuki! Plus you're literally only six months older than I am. It's just luck of the cutoff that you're my senpai." Eijun shot back, glaring.

"Oi, Bakamura—" Whatever he was going to say was cut off by laughter. Looking around, they saw Chika laughing, with tears running down her face.

"There you are, my beautiful boys. You're still the same and I'm so glad to see it, I've missed this so much." She pulled them both down into another hug. "You're just going to have to indulge me; I'm planning on doing this a lot this week. I've missed you both."

"Hey Chika, let the boys breathe, would you?" Someone catcalled from the porch. Pulling back from the hug, she glared at the man.

"You're just jealous I've got two handsome boys on my arms, Eidan."

Eijun's dad laughed. "They're your sons, that's kinda creepy." He stepped off the porch and walked to where they were standing. He reached for Kazuya first, hugging him close. " _Okaeri,_ Kazuya. I missed you."

Kazuya was a little more prepared for this one; he didn't burst into tears at least, although his eyes did get a little prickly. " _Tadaima_."

Eidan released him and pulled Eijun into a hug. " _Okaeri_ , Eijun. I missed you too. It's been really quiet around here with you gone."

"That's not a bad thing, maybe Kazuya can keep you quiet while you're here, you think?" Another voice rang out from the porch. Eijun's grandfather stepped down into the crowd, cuffing Eijun in the back of the head as he passed on his way to Kazuya. "Come here, boy!" He demanded, before roughly grabbing him into a hug. " _Okaeri_ , Kazuya. We're all glad you're back with us."

Kazuya was no longer surprised by anything, and hugged the irascible elder back. " _Tadaima_. Thank you, I'm glad to be back with you, too."

Chika herded them all inside, shooing the boys upstairs to dump their stuff and get comfortable.

Eijun led Kazuya up the stairs and to his bedroom—it was the same one he'd had all his life and not much had changed. He had a bigger bed than he'd had as a kid and acquired a desk, but that's about all that was different. Kazuya walked down the hallway and to the room with an ever-growing sense of _home_. It was a little overwhelming for this boy who'd spent so long without that, and they all could see it.

Once they were in the room, Eijun took one look at Kazuya and moved quickly over to him, wrapping him in a loose hug, and Kazuya dropped his head on Eijun's shoulder. "Eijun. I just…"

Eijun rubbed small, soothing, circles in Kazuya's back. "I know, it's fine. They can be a lot. Just stay here with me for a while."

"I love your family, Ei. But I—" Eijun cut him off, chuckling.

"Seriously, Kazuya. Don't worry about it, just relax. When they get to be too much, you can always hide in here. That's what I do."

Kazuya was off-balance. The combination of the people who seemed to truly care about him, and the familiarity of being somewhere that had become, over time, a dreamy memory, something that no longer felt like reality, had him struggling for composure. He'd not expected this, he'd expected tolerance at best, and this acceptance, this affection was staggering. The veiled contempt he'd anticipated could have been met with his usual sarcasm and snark. This unconditional fondness, even love, he didn't have any defense against; no choice to do anything but accept, responding in kind to these people who should be strangers, but weren't, _they weren't_ , they acted, they felt like family. He wasn't sure where he stood, how to react. So, he just leaned his head on Eijun's shoulder, breathing while he tried to regain his equilibrium.

"This is going to sound weird, Ei, but I was totally prepared for your family to hate me, but I wasn't prepared for _this_ , and it's got me off-kilter. I know you kept telling me that things would be fine, that they cared about me, but I honestly thought it was because they cared about you so much. But it's not that, Ei, and I don't _quite_ know how to be. I just need a few minutes to shift my brain."

"Really? The great Miyuki Kazuya is not prepared? Didja think I was lying?"

"Idiot." He pinched Eijun's side. Eijun yelped and glared, but didn't stop rubbing his back. "I just thought you were being your usual stupidly optimistic self. Add in that the memories of this house are some of the best of my childhood and are ones that I deliberately locked away with all the other Nagano stuff, and I'm just a little...lost." He absently rubbed Eijun's side where he pinched it, soothing the sting.

"Oh, Kazu." Eijun pulled him even closer. "It's ok, I get it. Take what time you need, we'll all wait. Do you want me to leave you to yourself for a while?" Kazuya's hands tightened involuntarily on Eijun.

"No, stay. Please."

"Ok, senpai, I'll stay."

They stood together while Kazuya walked through his own brain, settling. It wasn't long before he lifted his head and smirked, leaning in to kiss his boy.

"Okay, I'm good." he said. "Thanks."

Eijun grinned, and his eyes got a little teary. "You don't know how long I've dreamed of you being in my room with me. It's been so long, Kazu." He pulled him back into the kiss, not trying to start something, just enjoying the time and company.

They heard a voice calling "Lunch in ten, boys!"

Eijun yelled "Okay, Mom. We'll be right down!"

"You want to help me later? I need to wrap those—"He pointed to a pile of boxes in the corner, "I shopped online and had them shipped here."

"Any of them for me, brat?" Kazuya enquired.

"No, and you might not get any from me if you're not good."

Kazuya smirked. "Oh, I can be really good, Ei-chan. You want a demonstration?"

Eijun stilled, and his eyes glowed. "Miyuki Kazuya, I just might take you up on that offer. But not right now. Now we need to go to lunch. First, though." He looked at Kazuya intently and moved in, slotting their lips together, kissing him with purpose; deepening the contact, hands seeking the hem of his shirt, finding the skin underneath. Kazuya moaned deep in his throat and joined the dance, tongue meeting and moving, fingers skimming muscle and bone. Aware of the time, Eijun eventually pulled back and rested his forehead on Kazuya's.

"Okay, that should hold me for a while. You good?"

Kazuya looked dazed by the assault, but not unhappy. "Wow. Yeah, I'm good, Ei." He quickly regained his smirk, tinged with fondness, and stepped away. "Does your family still get a tree?" Eijun's family had adopted the custom when his father was in Tokyo and had become enamored with the tradition. They didn't open presents until New Year's Day, but they left them under the tree.

"Yeah, it's down in the living room like usual."

Kazuya dug in his bag. "Okay, I want to put these under there when we go down."

"Oh, lemme see!"

Kazuya opened the door and started down the stairs. "Oi, brat! They're for later, and none of them are for you anyway!"

"Miyuki Kazuya! Your better have gotten me a present, you shitty senpai!"

Kazuya laughed. "I don't need to get you anything, Bakamura, just the fact that I'm dating you should be good enough!" He joked.

Eijun froze, and stopped on the stairway, almost causing Kazuya to push him down the stairs.

"You're absolutely right, Kazuya. That _is_ enough; more than I'd hoped for." it was Kazuya's turn to freeze.

"Stop that, Ei, if you don't want me to kiss you silly right here on the stairs. I have something for you; I just want to give it to you in private."

Eijun gave him a skeptical look.

"No, brat, not _that_. Now can we go eat, please? Your family is waiting."

They went down the stairs heading for the kitchen, making a detour into the living room so Kazuya could drop off his gifts.

Lunch was raucous, everyone trying to catch up. Sensing Kazuya's discomfort, the adults left him alone, allowing him time to adjust. Eventually he was as involved in the conversation as any of them, gleefully throwing Eijun under the bus whenever possible. Eijun would sputter and protest, and Eitoku would reach out his hand to smack, while Kazuya laughed his head off. Then the tables were turned. Eijun started telling stories about Kazuya, and the smacks and laughs started go the other direction, with Kazuya ducking and Eijun laughing.

Eventually, they wound down, and Chika asked the question Kazuya was dreading. "Kazu-kun, how's your father?" Kazuya froze for just a second.

Eijun answered. "He's the same as ever, Mom. You remember, super proper?"

His dad laughed. "Does he still think we're all a bunch of nutters?" Eijun glanced at Kazuya and raised an eyebrow, asking for permission. Kazuya nodded.

"Pretty much. He said you're some kind of Elvis wannabe, and Gramps smacks everything in sight!" The whole family laughed themselves silly, while Kazuya sat there, uncertain. Chika was the first to notice.

"Kazu-kun, can you help me in the kitchen for a second?" He nodded and followed her.

They walked into the kitchen, and she turned to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Kazuya, I'm sorry. We don't mean to make you uncomfortable, and it's not very nice for us to laugh about your father. I know you care a lot about him, and although we're not happy that he took you from us, it was his decision to make."

"No, ma'am...I mean, Mom. I'm not upset about that, he's narrow minded and uptight, and you being amused by what he says is fine. I'm just...I don't agree with anything he says, and I don't want you to think I do." Kazuya met her eyes and continued, "I do care about him, but he's making that harder as he's making it clearer that he doesn't care about me. For the record, I'm still mad at him for taking me away from here; I've never forgiven him for that."

Chika squeezed his shoulder. "Well, he had his reasons. After your mother died, he was lost. He'd always disliked Nagano and only stayed because your mother loved it. He couldn't wait to get out of here. I can't say I understand, but I've never been in that position. I just regret the distance it put between us—it was tough on the whole family, especially Eijun. He was ok for a while, but then something happened and then he...wasn't."

"I…I know why he—" Chika cut him off.

"It's not your fault, Kazu-kun." She reached up and ran an affectionate hand through his hair, down the side of his face. "None of it is your fault. You dealt with the hand you were given the best you could. I want to make sure you know that no one here blames you for _anything_. We missed you terribly, and wondered if you were okay, but we never blamed you or thought you were at fault, _not for any of it_. We're just glad that you've come back to us."

"But I could have tr—" She stepped up to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"NO! You couldn't have, Kazuya. _You. Couldn't. Have_. You couldn't have known that Eijun would have developed panic attacks, you couldn't have known, _nor was it your responsibility that he did_. I know he's not telling you that he's figured out that your silence and his worry was the initial trigger, but I also know _you_ figured that out a long time ago, you're too smart not to have." She traced soothing circles into his back. "I'm here to tell you again. _It wasn't your fault_. You were doing what you had to do to survive, and I'm so proud of you for doing so. Most others would have crumbled, but you've gotten so strong, become such a good boy, and I'm so glad to see it." Kazuya found himself sobbing into her shoulder for the second time that day, this time, though, was cathartic. He hadn't even known he'd been carrying that much guilt until she told him, made him, _forced_ him to believe it wasn't his fault.

Chika held him tightly, combing her fingers through his hair.

"We love you, Miyuki Kazuya. Every sarcastic comment and smirk is a badge of honor, proof that you've endured so much. And we love it all, see it all." She continued to hold him, whispering endearments and comforting words as he cried himself out.

At one point, Eijun poked his head in, and she waved him away. He nodded and pointed upstairs, mouthed 'keep him here for thirty minutes', and went upstairs to start wrapping. They were headed to the temple later in the evening for the New Year, and gift giving happened right afterwards. All wrapping needed to be completed before they left for the temple. He also wanted to hide Kazuya's gift, although he had to wrap it first—that was the first thing he did, while Kazuya was occupied.

In the kitchen, Kazuya was winding down, his sobs turning into sniffles, embarrassment sprouting in his stomach. He stepped away and turned his head. She grabbed his chin and looked him in the eye.

"Don't you dare feel ashamed for crying, Kazu-kun. It's not a weakness, it's strength. Being able to show people who are important to you how you are feeling gives you a foundation that allows you to explore, to climb and fight and soar, as well as fall and fail, without being terribly damaged. Consider us your safety net; the one place you can always go whenever you need somewhere to hide, or somewhere to remember who you are. We're always going to be here to remind you. You're ours."

Kazuya just looks at her, stunned. No one had ever told him things like this; he didn't think people like this existed. _This is why Eijun can be so carefree, can fight and yell and play and love without fear, he knows that he has this to fall back on._

"That's...I don't know what to say. I've missed you; you were always like a mother to me, and I lost both of my mothers in a matter of months." Kazuya slumped into a chair, Chika slid in across from him. "I'll be honest, when Eijun showed up at Seido, I was shocked. When he enrolled, I tried to stay away; I wasn't the same kid I was, I was afraid I'd do too much damage. He's not wrong when he calls me a manipulative tanuki." His eyes were glued on his hands, watching his fingers. "I really tried, but he was so devastated after the summer tournament, I couldn't."

He looked up and met her eyes. "I want you to know that I love Eijun very much and I always have. He's been my best friend forever, even while we were separated. I will never do anything deliberately to hurt him and if something happens that we end up apart, he will always be my best friend. Thank you for allowing him to come to Seido, and for allowing me back into your life."

"Honestly, Kazuya, we were very dubious about allowing Eijun to attend school so far away. When we found out that you were there, we knew two things: first, we were not going to be able to stop Eijun from going, and second, you would watch out for him and we wouldn't have to worry about him. Throughout all of the issues he had in the fall, you stood by him and helped him, watching over him. We knew you would; you were always really protective of him when you were younger. You've been a great friend, and we were so happy when we found out you and Eijun had resumed your friendship. When you got together, we were overjoyed; we knew how Eijun felt about you, and we'd hoped you could return the feelings.

"What you need to understand, Kazuya, is that you've _never_ left our lives, you just went away for a time. You've always been a part of this family, and you always will be. Even if you two break up for some reason, you'll still be welcome here, we will still consider you our child."

"Thank you; you don't know how much that means to me."

"I just want to know that you believe it."

"You've not given me a choice." Kazuya found his smirk, and Chika was glad. She didn't want to break the boy, just give him the support she felt he desperately needed.

"Good. Don't ever forget it, and don't you dare disappear from our lives again. You can always talk to me, to us. We're here for you, even if it's about Eijun being stupid. Which we both know happens more often than he'd care to admit."

"He's surprisingly brilliant with the important stuff, though."

"You're right, Kazuya. He is." Chika stood up and switched gears. "Do you mind helping me clear the table and wash up? Eijun went upstairs a bit ago to wrap presents, I think. He wanted you to stay away until he was done with yours."

"Sure! I'd be happy to help."

When Eijun came down looking for Kazuya, he found him in the kitchen, washing dishes while his mom dried them and put them away. "She's got you working already? Geez, you're a tough one, Mom."

"You were busy, Eijun, so I drafted your boyfriend. I like this one—unlike you, he does what I say without arguing. I think I'll keep him."

"Mom, you can't keep him, he isn't a stray dog." Kazuya cocked an eyebrow at Eijun, trying not to laugh at the exasperated look on his boyfriend's face. "Let me help. I'll dry and put away, Kazu." He took the dishtowel from his mother, and together the boys finished the lunch dishes.

Kitchen clean, they headed upstairs to finish wrapping presents. Once they were in the room, Eijun spoke.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm good, Ei." Kazuya wrapped his arms around Eijun's waist. "I'm really, really good."

Eijun smirked. "Yes, yes you are." Kazuya rolled his eyes.

"Brat." He said, as Eijun tilted his head up for a kiss. "If you aren't careful, we're not going to get these presents wrapped." He met him halfway, slotting their lips together, sliding them into place on a sigh. Eijun slid his hands to Kazuya's waist, resting them lightly on his hipbones. They slipped apart the way they joined, feelings and together and _right_. Eijun stepped back and motioned at the pile.

"There it is. Do you want to help?"

"Of course. I'm better at wrapping anyway." Kazuya smirked.

"No you're not! What are you even talking about?"


	34. Ringing in the New Year

Presents wrapped, Eijun and Kazuya went downstairs to put them under the tree, to be opened after they returned from the temple. Considering the amount of time they spent bickering, competing, and kissing, Eijun thought that they'd made good time, having everything ready and in place by six. The plan was to go to the temple at eight, and eat something from the booths while wandering and talking to neighbors. Prayers were to be said, the New Year greeted, and then back to the house for presents and possibly an early breakfast for those who want to stay up to greet the first dawn.

As they slid the last present under the tree, Eijun's phone rang.

"Hello? Wakana, hi! How are you?" Eijun was clearly happy to speak to his friend, so Kazuya walked into the den, allowing him some privacy. Eijun's grandfather was there watching television. He looked up when Kazuya walked in, and turned down the volume.

"How are you doing, Kazuya? I know we're not what you're used to and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable at lunch. It was rude of us to talk about your father, and for that I apologize."

"No, you don't need to apologize. I know how my father is. Today's been a little...disconcerting; I honestly wasn't expecting the acceptance you've all shown me."

"You expected us to tolerate you for Eijun's sake, huh?"

"Pretty much, yes." Kazuya admitted.

"Haahahahahaha! I thought that would be the case. There isn't much further from the truth, Kazu-kun. Although I must admit that you were cuter when you were young, but you've grown into a fine young man and I'm glad to consider you my grandson." Eitoku smirked at Kazuya. "Of course that means I treat you like any other member of my family. Come closer, so I can give you what you deserve!" Kazuya blanched a little but obediently sat down where indicated.

"Don't be so scared, Kazu-kun." He reached out and pulled Kazuya into a quick hug, releasing him after giving his head a quick rub. As he pulled back, Eijun walked in, done with his call.

"And there's the idiot grandson." Eijun glared while Kazuya chuckled.

"Hey, Kazu—that was Wakana, she wanted to know if we wanted to meet at the temple, the team's going to go there together." Kazuya met his eyes, a brief spurt of panic shooting down his spine. He took a deep breath, and decided to trust his boy; he'd been right about everything else on this trip so far.

"If you want to, Eijun, it's fine with me." Eijun grinned, and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks! It will be fun, I promise. We don't have to hang around them all night; we can hang out for a while and split off. If you get uncomfortable, just let me know and we'll leave."

"Sounds good. When are we meeting them?"

"At eight—let me call her and work out the details."

Eijun called Wakana, and Kazuya waited, watching him speak to her. He was a little anxious, but he'd decided to trust Eijun in this so he buried it, resolving to watch carefully and see what happens. Eijun hung up the phone and grinned at Kazuya.

"Ok, they're going to meet us at the entrance to the shrine at 7:30; it's about a fifteen minute walk from here, so we have some time before we go. Want to grab a snack?"

"Sure! I'm a little hungry."

"All that wrapping took it out of you boys? What kind of stamina are they teaching you at that fancy school, anyway?" Eitoku interjected.

Eijun smirked at Kazuya. "They're teaching us staminarol." He turned to his grandfather. "Trust me, we work hard, but we do eat often and a lot. We're required to eat three bowls of rice per meal. Although it was difficult to eat that much in the beginning, we use all the energy it provides and it's gotten so much easier to eat that and more. On the other hand, we're hungrier faster since we're used to eating so much."

"Well, don't stand around here chatting! Feed your boyfriend before he passes out of starvation." He punctuated this with a swift smack aimed at the back of Eijun's head. Eijun ducked and headed out the door.

"You're getting slow, Gramps!" Eijun chortled, amused that he had evaded the blow. Kazuya grinned wryly at Eitoku as he followed his boyfriend out of the room.

"I know where you sleep, boy!" Eijun shuddered, just a little. Kazuya heard the older man mutter, "His reflexes are much faster. That's good."

They headed into the kitchen where Chika was working on the meals for the next day. Traditionally, she didn't cook on New Year's Day, choosing instead to set up a buffet-type table of cold foods, with a crockpot of some kind of warm offering, usually a soup or rich stew, that they could eat throughout the day.

"Hi, boys! I'll bet you're hungry. Sit down, I've got just the thing." She pulled a plate of sandwiches out of the fridge. "I thought you'd want something to eat before you went to the temple. Here you go, enjoy!" She put the plate on the table, and they started to eat. "What are your plans for the night? Are you seeing any of the others this evening?"

Eijun swallowed. "Yes, ma'am, we're meeting the team at the temple early, and hanging out with them for a while, and then just doing temple-y stuff until midnight. We'll meet up with you before then, though."

"Okay, good. I want to see the New Year in with you boys, it's been too long. Eat up; you're going to want to leave soon." She resumed cooking. "Oh! Kazu-kun?"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Do you have a heavy coat? It's going to get cold tonight."

"I don't; I can dress in layers, though."

"That's not going to be enough. Hang on a minute." She left the kitchen, wiping her hands dry on her dishtowel as she left. The boys exchanged a glance and Eijun shrugged as they continued their decimation of the sandwiches.

She returned with a coat over her arms. "I thought you might need this, so I picked it up for you the last time I went shopping. I know you don't need it in the city, so you can leave it here if you'd like." Chika showed him the coat. "I'm not sure it's your style, but it will keep you warm. It's got sherpa inside, so it's soft as well."

"You've done so much for me already, I feel like I'm taking advantage of you. Thank you, again, and it's exactly what I would have picked out." Kazuya ran a hand along the brown suede of the coat. He saw Eijun smirk and his mother glare in return. "What did I miss?"

Eijun spoke up. "That's the one I picked out. She wanted another one, but I knew you'd like this one. If you hadn't, I'd have had dishes our whole stay. Instead, she has to keep us in cookies. _Chocolate chip cookies_. " He grinned at his mother, who threatened him with her towel.

"I never said chocolate chip, _Ei-chan._ Don't press your luck." She glared.

"We've gotten spoiled by the cafeteria ladies, they're always giving us special treats; their chocolate chip cookies are the best. They really love Eijun; he's always coming away with a bag full of goodies." Kazuya inserted himself in the conversation. Eijun schooled his face not to show his glee, glancing at his boy who shot him a smirk from the corner of his mouth. _I know what you're doing, Kazu...let's do this together, shall we?_

"You're right, the ladies are the best. They take such good care of both of us, and their cookies and cupcakes are so good. I'm only half joking when I say Kazuya started dating me for my cookie acquisition skills." He slanted a glance at Kazuya, who stepped up like a champ.

"He's not completely wrong. I can certainly say the extra goodies are a real incentive." _Softly, Ei, we don't want to overplay this._ "These sandwiches are really good, thank you."

"You're welcome, I'm glad you're enjoying them." She went to her cupboards and pulled out a bag of chocolate chips, smirking at the boys. "I was always planning on making these, but nice try. You work well together, but remember—I've known you two forever, you're going to have to work much harder than that to manipulate me." She walked over to the table and dropped a kiss on both boy's foreheads. "Look at you both, so cute. Don't pout, boys. Just know when you're beaten." They glanced at each other and shrugged.

"We're good with that, Mom; you're making chocolate chip cookies." Sandwiches gone, Kazuya stood and took the plate to the sink while Eijun walked over and kissed his mom on the cheek. "Thanks again. We should get going."

"Kazuya—there are gloves and a scarf in the pockets of that coat. Stay warm!" He agreed, and they went upstairs to prepare for the night.

Although it had been years since Kazuya was last in Nagano for New Year's, he still remembered how biting the wind could get, and how bitterly cold it often was.

"Hey, Ei?" He queried. "We should layer, right? Hoodie under coat?"

"God, yes. It's been a while, huh? You definitely want to layer up." They did exactly that, putting on their thickest hoodies before heading downstairs to grab their jackets. Kazuya found the scarf and gloves in the pockets, as promised. He put the scarf around his neck and slid the gloves into his pocket for later use.

Eijun yelled, "We're heading out! See you guys there; we'll be at the usual spot at 11:30."

"Ok, boys! Wait; hang on a minute, Ei-chan." His father came out of the living room. He pulled out his wallet and dug out some money. "Here you go—"

"It's okay, I have plenty of money." Kazuya protested. Eidan shoved the cash into Eijun's hand.

"You never know, you might want to buy something." Eijun rolled his eyes and took the cash.

"Thanks, Dad. We'll see you later!"

"Have fun you two! Try not to upset the priests this time, okay?"

Both Eijun and Kazuya rolled their eyes.

"I was _seven_ , Dad." Eijun protested. "And Kazu was eight. We know how to behave."

They huffed their way out the door, closing it on the hysterical laughter coming from the adults.

"I can't believe they remember that."

Eijun snorted. "I know, right? I think they must write that stuff down so they can remember and torture us later."

"Seems like a lot of extra effort to me." Kazuya slid his hand into Eijun's, pulling them both into his pocket for warmth. "Thank you, Ei. I love this jacket, it's perfect."

Eijun bumped shoulders with him. "I'm glad you like it. I'm also glad I don't have to do dishes. And we get cookies! But she's right, we have to step up our manipulation game, it's not easy to do with people who've known us both for so long. Luckily for us, it's just those three."

"Yes, we do." Kazuya looked chagrined. "I forgot they'd seen us working together before. Although we were terrible at it when we were young. We had all the subtlety of a train wreck, so we're getting better."

"Oh god, yes...remember the time we wanted to go swimming but we couldn't go without an adult?" Eijun chuckled.

Kazuya thought for a second, and then burst out in laughter. "Oh, wow. When we tried to convince her that we had fevers and needed to go swimming to get better? That was classic. And so bad."

"And we kept rubbing our foreheads with our hands, trying to heat them up?" Eijun laughed. Kazuya had to stop walking, he was laughing so hard.

"She made us go take a nap, remember? And we tried to sneak out, but she caught us." He regained his breath, and they continued their trek.

"I don't think we ever did convince her to take us swimming, did we?"

"Nope, but remember that teenager from down the street? Kiyoko, I think her name was?"

"Oh! Yeah, we had such a crush on her!"

Kazuya paused. "You're right, we did. She was cute. Anyway, in hindsight, it's funny how often she'd show up and 'offer' to take us swimming right after we'd bother Mom about it. I bet she paid her to take us." Eijun thought about it for a minute.

"She did, Kazu, I'm sure of it. She's been outmaneuvering us forever. If it wasn't for the sheer ridiculousness of the idea, I'd suspect she engineered my trip to Seido as well."

"I'm not sure it's totally ridiculous, Ei." Kazuya thought about it. "But we'll probably never find out the truth. It's just worth noting that between Mom and Rei, we're surrounded by some seriously scary women."

"I agree. It's great that they're not only scary, but they love us."

"Yes it is."

They were approaching the temple, and Kazuya let go of Eijun's hand. There were a lot of people around, and Nagano wasn't as progressive as Tokyo; he didn't want Eijun or his family to be exposed to gossip or prejudice.

Eijun grabbed Kazuya's hand back, lacing their fingers together. "I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of us, Kazu. I don't care what others say."

"But what about your family? I don't want them to have to deal with it either."

"First of all, Kazu, if it's not been made clear, they're your family too. Secondly, we've discussed just this thing, and they're fine with it. Your father is not the only one here who thinks those things about us; judge-y people are nothing new for us. They're not worth consideration. If, however, you're uncomfortable with it—"

"No, Ei, never. I will never be ashamed of us, no matter where we are. Like I said, our family has to live here, and I don't want to cause them problems."

"Well then, it's settled. Let's go find Wakana and the rest of the team. I can't wait to introduce you."

Hand in hand, they made their way through the temple grounds. There were a lot of people out already, mostly parents with young children who may not make it to midnight. Kazuya was surprised by how much hadn't changed. As they walked through the crowd, some people greeted Eijun, asking after his family and about school. He unfailingly would introduce Kazuya, and the responses were varied; everyone was polite, some clearly looking askance at the couple, while others were more accepting.

They were walking through the crowds when Eijun heard his name being called. Turning in that direction, he saw someone approaching, but couldn't see their face clearly. As they drew near, he realized it was their first baseball coach, Coach Ito.

Coach Ito glanced at Kazuya as he approached, and did a double take. "Kazuya? Is that you?" He laughed when Kazuya nodded. "Wow! You've grown so much, I almost didn't recognize you!" He smiled at the pair. "Eijun, I'm so glad to see you, how's Seido? Wait...Kazuya, do you go to Seido?"  
"Yes sir, I do."

"Wow! Two of my boys are in that prestigious baseball school! Now I have something to tell ol' Yamaguchi when he starts raving about his one in Inashiro. You two always were inseparable. Are you still catching, Kazuya?"

"I am!" Kazuya replied.

"What he isn't telling you, Coach, is that he's the starting catcher. As well as the team captain and the clean-up batter." Eijun chimed in.

"And he's currently the relief pitcher, and has saved the game quite a few times. I suspect he'll be the ace soon enough." Kazuya shot back. Eijun blushed.

"Really? I'm amazed—you've gotten control of the crazy form of yours?"

"Kinda." Eijun admitted. "It's still a work in progress." Kazuya nodded.

"He's a lot better, though."

"I'm so glad to see you both, and you're together? That's not a surprise; you couldn't find one of you without the other when you were young. Have a good time tonight, and have a Happy New Year! Eijun, I'll speak to your parents later about watching your games; I'd love to see you two play together again." He nodded, clapped them both on the shoulders, and continued on his way.

Kazuya looked at Eijun, amused. "See, even he remembers how your control sucked, brat."

"Oi, Miyuki Kazuya! Some boyfriend you are, why do I even put up with you?"

"Beats the hell out of me, but I pray that you keep doing it."

"Oh, jeez." Eijun looked around, and pulled Kazuya into a corner behind a tree. Pulling him into his arms, he laid his head on his shoulder. "That's evil. You can't just say stuff like that."

"Apparently I can, Ei, I just did. And I meant it." Kazuya chuckled, loosely wrapping his arms around Eijun's waist.

"You know what I mean." Eijun whined.

Kazuya slid his hand under Eijun's jaw, lifting his head so he could meet his eyes. "I know this, Eijun. I love you, and I will never be afraid to admit it. If what I say embarrasses you, I am sorry. But I will never be ashamed of us."

"I'm not ashamed of us, Kazu. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, and I want everyone to know it. I'm just...when you say things like that, it overwhelms me, and I want to respond. Usually physically, but I can't just start making out with you in the middle of the temple grounds." Kazuya snickered.

"You think we got the priests upset when we were little…"

"I know, right? But please, Kazu, remember that I am not ashamed or embarrassed about us, or about you. In any way." Eijun leaned into Kazuya, tilting his head to invite a kiss. Kazuya complied, slotting their lips together easily, smoothly. They pulled apart, soft smiles forming.

"We probably should go find your friends."

"You're right, they said they'd be by the torii, it's just up ahead."

They stepped out from behind the tree, hands still linked together.

Walking through the rest of the grounds, they were getting close to the torii when Eijun heard his name being called, only this time he knew the voice. He turned towards it just in time to catch a flying body.

"Wakana! How are you?" He hugged his friend close; he'd missed having her around. "I've missed you."

She hugged him back. "Me too, dummy. And you suck at answering texts." She pinched his nose.

Kazuya snorted a laugh, he couldn't help it. Wakana turned towards him and smiled. "You must be the Kazuya that Eijun can't stop talking about." She bowed and held out her hand. Kazuya bowed in return, and took her hand in his gently shaking it.

"I am, but I'd say at least half of what he's said isn't true, or is greatly exaggerated." he smiled at her. "And you're Wakana. I'm so glad to finally meet you."

"Likewise." She linked her arm through Kazuya's and dismissed Eijun. "You go on ahead, Eijun, I want to talk to Kazuya." Eijun glanced at Kazuya to make sure he was okay with it. He nodded, and Eijun glared at his friend.

"Why does everyone want to steal my boyfriend? First Mom, now you."

He hugged them both and walked on ahead. Wakana pulled Kazuya over to one of the booths and sat Kazuya down at a table.

"I'll be right back; stay here, alright?" Kazuya nodded his agreement. Wakana went to the closest booth and ordered two hot drinks. Making her way back to the booth, she slid in across from Kazuya. "Hot chocolate or green tea?" She asked, offering him his choice.

"I'll take the green tea, thanks." She passed it over, and sipped the hot chocolate.

"Kazuya, I wanted to talk to you for a bit. It's nothing bad, I just...I think we should get to know each other apart from Eijun, because I know he wants both of us in his life."

"I agree, just let me ask you one question first, ok?" Kazuya queried.

"Sure, I don't mind. Then I'll ask you one, we can switch off."

"Fair enough." Kazuya took a sip of his tea and collected his thoughts, plunging in headfirst. "How do you feel about Eijun?"

Wakana smiled into her hot chocolate. "I knew that would be the first question, I'm sure everyone who knows him at Seido wonders about us. The truth is that he's been my friend for as long as I've known him, one of my best friends, but never anything else. I love him like my brother, and I'd never let anyone hurt him if I could help it." She blew on her cocoa, and asked her first question. "How do you feel about Eijun?"

Kazuya looked her in the eye, and spoke. "I love him. I've always loved him. He's been my best friend since we were four. Even when we were apart, I still considered him my best friend." Wakana smiled at him. "Do you have any problems with us being together?"

"Me? No way. I've known he was in love with you for a very long time, for most of the time we've been friends. I'll never have a problem with you two, as long as you're treating each other well." It was Kazuya's turn to smile. "So what happened, why did you stop talking to him?"

Kazuya felt his smile fade. "I really don't want to go into it right now, but I'll tell you this: it was rough for me when we left. After I started middle school, things got really bad. I thought that if I cut off all ties, I might be able to cope better, and that Eijun would be better off not knowing what I was becoming." He looked into his cup of tea, thinking. "I was intensely unhappy; I'd lost my mothers and my home and my best friend in a matter of months with no warning whatsoever. In addition, I was a good catcher with no patience for those who didn't work hard, and I had no ability to keep my mouth shut. Throw in an absentee father, and you have my life after we moved. That's why. Had I known the consequences, I would have never stopped emailing him, even if I had to lie to him about what was going on. I really believed he would just move on, replace me." Wakana reached over and squeezed his hand sympathetically, waiting for his next question. "Eijun won't tell me this, so I'm asking you. How bad was he?"

"Oh, Kazuya. I don't think you really want to know." Kazuya just looked at her steadily. "Okay, I'll tell you. But please don't let it affect your relationship. He's so much better, and I'd hate for things to change for either of you." He thought about it for a minute and nodded, agreeing to her terms. "He was bad for the first nine months or so. When the nightmares began we were already good friends, and I could see him shutting down. His eyes got dark, and he withdrew to the point that I was scared he was going to hurt himself. His mom and I watched him closely; we were both terrified he was gone already. Then the attacks started during the day. He missed a lot of school, and at first, he was almost a zombie when he was able to attend because he was on so many drugs. As things evened out he became more like himself, but it almost hurt more to see; he was clearly in pain, clearly hurting badly, but there was nothing anyone could do to help him. That's about the time he started therapy and he began to improve. It took some time, but he got himself back. I've never seen anyone as strong as he is." Kazuya sat still, processing what he knew, and comparing it to what he saw when he looked at Eijun.

"Thank you for telling me. I'd suspected that was what had happened. I know he doesn't want me to stay with him out of obligation, so he'll never tell me how bad it was. You're right about one thing, though, he is the strongest person I know."

"Next question. What really happened to him this summer? He won't tell me, anything except that he went through a rough spot and you and someone named Chris-senpai helped him." Kazuya snorted at the description, but sobered when he thought about the subject.

"Let me tell you everything I know. What happened was this…" Kazuya explained from the beginning, starting with the school visit, progressing through the yips and ending with Hell Week. It took a while, Wakana occasionally asking questions, and Kazuya sometimes having to backtrack. By the end, she knew pretty much everything that had happened and they were fast becoming good friends, even apart from the connection to Eijun.

"We'd probably better go find him, it's been a while. Eijun's probably figured we've killed each other by now." Wakana got up and pitched her cup in the trash.

Kazuya joined her. "You're right, you never know what things he's got in his head."

"Especially when he's tired." They said in unison, and laughed.

Together, with Wakana's arm threaded through Kazuya's, they walked towards the torii where the rest waited. As they approached, Eijun bounded up to them. "You guys alright? What took you so long?"

"We're good, brat. We just had a lot to talk about." Kazuya smirked.

Wakana did the same. "Yeah, Eijun. We had a _lot_ to talk about."

Eijun pouted, just for a second, and then his face cleared. "So you guys are alright with each other?"

"We're fine, Eijun. Let's go introduce Kazuya to the team." Wakana soothed his jitters.

"Hey, Eijun." He turned to face Kazuya. "I think we should add Wakana to that list."

Eijun looked confused for a second, and then his face cleared. "Oh, yes. Most definitely."

Together, the three of them approached the rest of the team. They were chatting amongst themselves and didn't see the trio approach.

Eijun slipped his arm around the closest player and whispered in his ear. "Did you miss me, Nobu?"

Nobu jumped at the contact and spun around. All of the players started smiling, laughing and greeting their friend. He exchanged hellos with them, hugging his middle school teammates. They introduced the new players, including their new pitcher, Kenji. Eijun reached behind and pulled Kazuya into the circle.

"Everyone, this is Kazuya. Those of you who've known me for a while know exactly who he is; in fact, some of you might know him too, from the elementary team. He's the captain of the Seido team, and their catcher. He's also my boyfriend. Kazuya, this is my old team, starting with Nobu…" Eijun rattled off all of the names, including the new people. Kazuya recognized a few names, but no one that he could really remember well.

As Eijun turned to speak to Nobu, he saw Kenji make a face out of the corner of his eye. Turning his head, he met his gaze, and was surprised to see Kenji's eyes narrow and deliberately look away, his mouth moving, forming an epithet that he wasn't expecting from a group of high school aged kids. Eijun sucked in a quick breath and looked at Kazuya out of the corner of his eye. He was staring at Kenji, intently. Eijun elbowed Kazuya to get his attention and shook his head. _It's okay, Kazuya. We're fine_.

Kazuya was getting pissed. Kenji was irritating, and the fact that Eijun didn't want him to do anything was not helping. He had no right to judge, he should just keep his opinions to himself; this was precisely the situation he didn't want to subject Eijun to. He held Eijun's hand tightly, and Eijun squeezed back, reassuringly. _I swear, if he says anything, I'm going to be all over him._

Just then, Kenji apparently figured it was time to speak up. 'Why are _they_ even here?" He gestured to Kazuya and Eijun. "They're not even part of the team, and they're _boyfriends_? That's gross. They shouldn't be allowed—" Kazuya had stiffened, ready to jump into the fray, when he noticed that Eijun was totally relaxed. Eijun smirked at Kazuya, and gave his hand another squeeze, mouthing 'Watch this.'

Kazuya hadn't noticed, but Wakana had stepped forward.

"You might want to watch the next words out of your mouth, Kenji. They're here because we invited them, and Eijun _is_ part of the team, even if he's not currently playing with us. By extension, his boyfriend is also a member of the team. Eijun was our captain for _years_ , Kenji, and if you don't think that means anything, you may want to find some other team to play on."

Kenji looked around and saw that the other team members were all nodding, agreeing with Wakana. "You guys can't be serious. That's unnatural, two guys together. It's sick and disgusting." As he spoke, the team moved together, surrounding him and protecting Eijun and Kazuya from even having to look at Kenji. "Fine, if you want to hang around a couple of fags, I can't stop you. But I'm quitting the team; you all suck anyway." With that, Kenji turned around and walked away quickly.

Eijun was beaming at his team, but Kazuya was shaken. _Apparently, I can still be surprised by the people who love Eijun. I would never have thought they'd stand up for a former teammate against a current one, especially when they're boyfriends._

"Thank you, guys. You didn't have to stand up for us. I appreciate it, and I'm sure Kazuya will too, as soon as he gets over his shock. I'm sorry if we cost you a good player, though."

Nobu spoke up. "Naw, he was ok, but not great. Suzuki over there is as good a pitcher as he is, so no big loss. He's a second year, and we kinda inherited him." The rest of the team agreed, voices strong in the cold air. "But, we would like to play with you two this week, if you don't mind."

"Of course, we're always happy to play." Kazuya chimed in, finally out of his stupor. "Let us know when and where, and we'll be there."

Wakana smiled at them. "Good! It's supposed to be warmer the next couple of days; let's see what we can do. Maybe tomorrow afternoon?" The team nodded while Eijun laughed.

"You guys are as much baseball idiots as we are, huh?"

"Naw, well...kinda? We want to learn what you fancy baseball school people know, so we can get better. We also want to see you pitch, Eijun. Wakana told us about some of your games, and it's hard for us to believe you have learned to control that crazy pitch of yours." Kazuya burst out laughing, while Eijun stared, irritated.

"Why does everybody doubt my control?"

"Because it sucks, Bakamura." Kazuya couldn't stop laughing at his boyfriend's disgruntled face. "Well, to be honest, it's better than it was, lots better. But you know you still have issues, and when they played with you, you had little control."

The whole team agreed, and Eijun had no choice but to bow his head and accept the assessment. He didn't really mind, it was the truth, after all.

"Why do I even hang out with you guys? You're all terrible! Especially you, Miyuki Kazuya."

"Thank you." He laughed at his boy, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Eijun looked mad for a second but couldn't hold it. He grinned at his friends, and squeezed Kazuya's hand. "Sap."

"Guilty as charged."

"Okay, enough with that." Wakana interjected. "You guys are so sweet it's sickening. Let's go shop and eat, we don't have that long."

And so they did. Eijun and Kazuya strolled with the rest of the team, speaking to different people, getting to know the newer players and catching up with the older ones. They ate and laughed and talked, walking through the stalls. Eijun knew all the best vendors and bought Kazuya food he knew he'd love. They continued on, eating and shopping, stopping occasionally to talk to some adult or another when Eijun heard his name called, this time by a female. Turning, he and Kazuya saw a young woman, very pregnant, with a toddler by her side, coming towards them.

"Oh, it _is_ you, Eijun...Kazu-kun? Is that you?"

Kazuya laughed, he couldn't help it. "We were just talking about you! Hello, Kiyoko! You're all grown up!"

"Come here and give me a hug, you brat!" She laughed. "I'm so glad to see you. Oh, man. Puberty was nice to you, huh? If I was a little younger, I'd be chasing you, that's for sure. Do you have a girlfriend yet? You've got to have broken some hearts." Kazuya grinned as he stepped back, allowing Eijun in for a hug.

"And look at you, Ei-chan! You too? If I'd know you guys were going to grow up this gorgeous, I might have done things a little differently. I'm sure you're both taken, though, am I right?"

Eijun chuckled. "You're not wrong, Kiyoko. Just a little off." He reached over deliberately and slid his hand in Kazuya's, lacing their fingers together. Her eyes widened a touch, and she laughed.

"Oh, man. I forgot about how close you two were. This makes total sense. You two were so good together when you were young. I hope you continue to be that way."

"Thank you, Kiyoko. We really were just talking about you. We just today figured out that Mom must have paid you to take us swimming." Eijun said.

She chuckled. "It took you this long? Man, you guys were my summer income for a couple of years. It was great."

"I remember that we both crushed on you so hard." Kazuya said. "I think we might have even made some calendar or chart so we could take turns talking to you." She laughed at that.

"You guys were great kids. I hope mine grow up as well as you did."

"They'll be fine, with you as the mom. You're good with kids, you were our favorite babysitter." Eijun bowed to her, as did Kazuya, and they went on their way, headed for the place they were scheduled to meet the parents, it was getting close to midnight.

They said goodbye to the team, promising them that they would be on the lookout for their call. As they approached the place they were to meet the family, they saw Chika in conversation with someone they didn't recognize. When they got a little closer, they realized it was a priest. Closer, and they saw it was that priest, the one they'd upset ten years ago.

In unison, they stopped and took a step back, preparing to turn around and come back later, when Chika looked up and saw them. She froze them with a look and called them over. Reluctantly, they started walking towards her.

"What is this, Eijun? Do you see this many people who know you every year?"

"Usually, yes; but not ones that know you too. Although, really, it was only two...now three people, and we did know a bunch of different people when we were young."

"True, I guess I'm just used to Tokyo, where I never know anyone."

They walked up to the pair waiting for them and bowed to the priest.

"Good evening, boys. Are you enjoying yourselves?"

"Yes sir, we are. Thank you for asking." Eijun replied.

The priest looked them over. "I assume you've both learned how to behave, am I correct?"

Kazuya took this one. "Yes, sir. We've learned a few things in the last decade."

"I'm sure you have." He looked at them closely, eyes narrowing. "You two were quite the duo of terror a while ago, and I understand you still are, only now it's on the baseball field. Good work. Use that connection to further yourselves in the correct way and you'll go far." He held out his hands for the boys to take, and they did, confusion on their faces. Joining their hands together, he held onto the pair.

"Never be ashamed of what you are. You two belong together, you have since you were younger and terrorizing the neighborhood." With that, he murmured a brief blessing over them, nodded to Chika, and walked off.

The pair looked at each other, confused about what had just happened. Chika came over to them and hugged them both.

"Well, that was unexpected. You boys doing okay?"

"What was that about, Mom?" Queried Eijun.

Chika laughed. "It was exactly what it looked like. He came up to me right before you did, asking about the two of you. He saw you wandering the booths together and wanted to speak to you, but he didn't tell me what it was about—only that you weren't in any trouble this time."

Kazuya shook his head. "This has been the strangest night."

"Yes, it has." Eijun agreed. "Mom, we saw Kiyoko a bit ago. She looks good, and she's pregnant? This is her second baby, right?"

"Yes, it is. She married a nice boy from the next town, and they seem happy. I see them when she visits her parents. Oh, I remember when you boys were young, you both crushed on her so hard. I was afraid you'd stop being friends; you fought so much over her at first. Then you, Kazu-kun, got the idea that you could take turns with her. I don't think I've laughed so hard in my life as I did watching you try to hammer out some kind of custody agreement about the teenaged girl you both liked." Both boys groaned.

"How embarrassing. Eijun, next time we're going to my dad's, okay? He doesn't have all this ammunition stored up." Eijun readily agreed, while his mother tried unsuccessfully to contain her mirth.

"Come on, you 'duo of terror', let's go find your father and ring in the New Year."

They moved towards the place where the rest of the family waited, getting there just a few minutes before midnight. Eitoku had purchased a cup of amazake for each of them, and they sipped at the warm wine as they waited for the bell to start ringing.

"You boys getting in the line?" They glanced at each other and shook their heads.

"We'll come back tomorrow, during the day. The line's too long right now." Eijun replied.

Kazuya started to speak, but the bell began to toll, and it was the new year. So instead, he pulled Eijun towards himself and kissed him gently. "Happy New Year, Ei. I love you."

"Happy New Year, Kazu. I love you, too." He reached up and swiped his fingers over Kazuya's cheek, running his hand back through his hair. Eijun pulled him into a quick hug, whispering in his ear. "This is going to be the best year ever; I get to spend it with you."

He felt Kazuya inhale quickly. "You talk about _me_ being evil, Eijun." They pulled away, and Eijun smirked at Kazuya.

"Thank you." Kazuya didn't even offer a reply, he just rolled his eyes and turned to greet the rest of the family.


	35. The Last Thing You Don't Know About Me

They left the temple shortly after that, heading home to continue their traditional New Year's celebration. Eijun and Kazuya walked slowly, falling behind the rest of the family. Kazuya had Eijun's hand in his and they were chatting, flirting and bickering, as usual.

"Ei, are we staying up until dawn?"

"I thought we might, if you'd like."

"I would."

"Ok, then. Let's go to that park that's up the hill to watch. That way we'll be above the town and have a clear view of the sunrise. I don't think a lot of people go there." Kazuya nodded.

"Sure thing."

That piece of business concluded, they walked in silence, Eijun planning and Kazuya getting nervous. _What am I going to do if he hates his gift? He could so easily get mad at me, and I wouldn't blame him...I guess I just need to trust him once more, trust him to understand what it is I'm telling him._

When they arrived at the house, they shed their outerwear quickly, and went to join the others near the tree. Chika walked in with tea for everyone and the gifting began. There were a lot of presents under the tree for everyone, including Kazuya. Eijun got clothes and a new mp3 player; Kazuya also got clothes, but they'd gotten him the headphones that he'd wanted to buy. He thanked them all with tears in his eyes, and smacked Eijun, knowing that he was the one who'd told them what he wanted.

Then it came time for the boys to distribute their gifts; Eijun gave his grandfather DVDs of his favorite historical drama; to his father, he gave a bootleg Beatles album he'd found online, and for his mother he'd gotten a gift card to her favorite online store. He knew it wasn't enough for the mixer she was saving for, but it would contribute a nice bit towards it.

Kazuya also gave her a gift card for the same reason, but he'd found out what it was she wanted and had given her enough to cover it completely, along with some accessories. For Eitoku, he'd brought a gift card for Amazon, so he could purchase whatever he wanted; continuing in the gift card theme, he gave Eijun's father a gift card for iTunes, so he could add to his music collection.

For each other, the boys had presents upstairs; they also had one that was public, and they exchanged them.

Kazuya handed Eijun his gift, and watched as he unwrapped it. It was a long chain with something that looked like dog tags on it. Eijun looked at them curiously, flipping them over. One of them was a traditional dog tag, it had his name embossed on it, but the other was a playing card; it was an ace of diamonds. Eijun looked at it for a minute, when his father snorted, and his grandfather smacked him. Chika shook her head at her idiot son.

"Kazuya, that's awesome, what a great idea! Eijun, dear, what is that?" She tried in vain to lead him to the right conclusion.

"It's a card."

"No, idiot. What card is it?" His grandfather demanded, aiming another smack at his head. Kazuya was trying hard not to laugh. He'd not thought it would take him that long to get it.

"It's an ace of diamonds."

"Yes, it is. Do we really have to explain it to you?" His father asked.

"Please don't." Kazuya spoke up. "It'll come to him eventually, and that will be more fun than telling him outright."

"You're still nasty, Miyuki Kazuya. But I threw away the receipt for this, so I can't return it. I guess I have to give it to you." Eijun sulked, while Kazuya could see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to understand the message in his gift.

Kazuya opened his gift slowly, curious about what could be in the box. Inside, there was a stack of Moleskine notebooks, in a variety of colors and sizes. As he looked through them, he realized that some of them were grid paper, some lined, and some blank. He glanced at Eijun, who was looking unsure.

"I thought you could use them for scorekeeping, or play development, or something. I know that you have regular notebooks, but these are nice because you really can't remove the pages easily, so it's hard to lose something you've written. Also, it might be helpful to have a permanent record of your thoughts and plans, so you can reference them later. They're also really well made and sturdy, you can drag them with you wherever and they're not going to fall apart."

"Wow, Ei. What a great idea, thank you. I can really use these; I get tired of having to reimage things I know I've used before against other teams. Putting them somewhere like this is an amazing idea. I can draw the diamond in these unlined ones as well, and sort things out graphically. I love it, Eijun." Kazuya's mind was racing, thinking about what he could do with the gift.

Just then, Eijun let out a massive groan, and everybody laughed.

"Finally got it, brat?" Kazuya smirked.

"Yes, you tanuki. I got it. Thank you, Kazuya, it's perfect." He leaned over and kissed Kazuya's cheek.

Everybody laughed and stood up; the gift exchange was over and they were all heading to their rooms. The adults to sleep, and the boys to exchange their main gifts.

Chika hugged Kazuya before heading off. "Thank you again, Kazuya. You shouldn't have spent so much money on us, though."

"I didn't get you anything for years; this is just making up for lost time."

She chuckled. "Okay, I'll let it go this time. But I also wanted to tell you not to be nervous. Whatever you're planning, trust Eijun to see your heart."

"How did you—"

"Although you've gotten better, you still have your tells, Kazuya." She pushed his hair out of his face, framing it with her hand. "I trust you. I know you love Eijun, and I trust you with him. Please take good care of him, he's very special."

"I know, and I will."

"That's all I can ask." She kissed his cheek. "I love you, Kazuya. Goodnight."

She stepped away and hugged Eijun, whispering in his ear. "Kazuya's very nervous about something. I'm not sure what he's up to, but whatever it is, please stop and think before you react. Try to see what it is he's telling you; look for his heart. I know he loves you more than anything—remember that."

Eijun pulled back, and kissed his mom on her cheek. "Thank you, Mom. I will. I love you; we'll see you in the morning."

The adults headed upstairs, leaving the boys in the living room by the tree. They looked at each other for a second, and then they both moved forward, pulling the other into a hug, foreheads meeting, leaning into each other.

"Hi, gorgeous."

"Hello, beautiful."

They stared into each other's eyes, no need for words. After a minute, an hour, a week, Eijun spoke. "Do you want to open the presents here, or in the room?"

"It doesn't matter to me, what do you think?"

"Let's do it here, by the tree. It seems fitting."

"Okay, let me go grab your gift." Kazuya started for the stairs.

"Can you grab yours as well? It's in the top drawer of my dresser."

"Sure." Kazuya found both gifts and headed back downstairs.

They sat by the tree, by each other. Eijun slid over closer so that their legs were touching.

Kazuya fiddled with his gift, looking unsure.

"You're really nervous about this, right? I'm sure it will be fine, but is there anything I can do that will help you?"

"Promise me, Eijun, that you won't shut me out."

"I can promise that...but what kind of present is it that you expect me to hate you for?"

"You'll see."

"All right. You open yours first, Kazuya." Eijun handed over the gift, the picture of them framed so nicely. He'd had his mother buy the frame, and she'd done a wonderful job.

Kazuya unwrapped the box and opened it carefully. He pulled back the tissue paper to reveal the picture of them on the field, the beautiful sunset and absolute adoration that was revealed in that candid moment. "Ei…" he breathed, transfixed. He stared, eyes watering as he took in the details. "I think it's the most beautiful picture I've ever seen."

Kazuya raised his head, and looked at his boy. "Where did you get this? It's _gorgeous_ , Eijun."

"Haruichi took it a while ago. As soon as I saw it, I knew I wanted to give it to you, so I had him put it aside for me. I had Mom frame it for you, and I think she did a wonderful job."

Kazuya leaned over and rested his head on Eijun's shoulder. 'She did. It's perfect, I love it so much. Thank you, Eijun."

He took a deep breath and handed over his present.

Eijun took it and slowly began to unwrap it. He opened the box and peeled back the tissue, uncovering a book. It wasn't very thick, and the cover was plain, black, with white lettering. It was titled, simply, 'The Last Thing You Don't Know About Me.'

He looked up at Kazuya, curious. Kazuya felt like he was going to pass out; he was so scared, he couldn't remember a time he'd been this nervous about something.

Eijun took the book out of the box, turned it to the first page, the dedication page, and read.

 _Eijun-_

 _This is the last thing you don't know about me._

 _I hope you know that I love you and if I had it to do over again, there are certain specific things I would change about the past. But I can't._

 _So please read this in the spirit in which it is offered. It's the last thing I haven't turned over to you completely. Now you own every bit of me._

 _I am yours, and I hope with all my heart that after reading this, you are still mine._

 _Yours forever,_

 _Kazuya._

Eijun wiped away a tear, and looked again at Kazuya. He was staring at his lap, steadfastly refusing to meet Eijun's gaze. Eijun, still very confused about what this could be, looked back down at the book and turned past the title page, taking a deep breath.

* * *

 _From: Ei-chan(catch4me .jp)_

 _To: Me(pitch2me .jp)_

 _13 May 2010_

 _Hi, Kazu-kun-_

 _How is it going? How do you like Middle school? is it harder than elementary? What about the team is it a good team? how's the coach?_

 _I am doing ok, schools the same, so is the team. I miss playing with you. Gramps says you need to come visit, you probably need a few smacks. It would be nice to have him smack someone else sometimes. mom says to tell you she misses you, so she misses you!_

 _My birthday is next week, I think I'm getting a new mitt, my old one is getting too small. I dont know when you're ever going to grow out of yours, shorty! Hahaha._

 _Well, I'm going to send this now, I'lll write to you again soon. write me back soon, too!_

 _TTYL-_

 _Eijun_

 _From: Me(pitch2me .jp)_

 _To: Ei-chan(catch4me .jp)_

 _14 May 2010_

 _Eijun-_

 _I hate it here, I miss you and I miss Nagano._

 _There are too many people in Tokyo._

 _My dad works all the time._

 _I miss you._

 _Kazuya_

Eijun-

This is the first of your emails that I didn't respond to. That answer sat in my drafts folder for 5 years. It's exactly what I wrote, no editing. This book is all of them, every email you ever sent me, and the replies that I never returned. At the end of each exchange, I've added a little information about what was going on at the time, and where my head was.

I never stopped reading your emails, and I never stopped answering them.

I missed you so desperately and I hated my life so much. I didn't want you to see that part of me; I never wanted to hurt you like that. Instead, I hurt you in other ways, and I will always regret that.

Please understand that I never forgot you, that your emails were a lifeline for me, and they always came exactly when I needed them most. You saved me, Eijun, from so many temptations, from doing things, horrible, permanent, damaging things. You've always been my salvation, and that will never change.

When I wrote this, I'd just burnt dinner. Dad was out late again, and all we had in the house was some rice. School was not hard, but it was boring. Baseball was tough, though. You know how small I was, and how mouthy. I was a first year, telling all of the upperclassmen that they sucked. That day, I'd gotten my first beating, but it was not my last.

* * *

Eijun was stunned. He sat, staring at the page, trying to take in what he'd just read. _He kept, no, he read and answered all my emails, but didn't send them? Why would he...he was in hell, remember? He didn't want to worry me. But...well._ Finally, he spoke.

"I'm not going anywhere, Kazu, but I'm not yet sure if I'm mad at you or not. I'm upset, of course, but working it out. So let me talk to you for a minute, and then I'm going to read this book. And you're going to let me, you're going to go watch TV or something and not hover. Is that alright with you?"

Kazuya let out the breath he'd been holding. "That's fine, that's good. Ask me whatever you want to know."

"You've read, answered, and saved every email I've sent you, even though you never sent a reply. How many are in here?"

"Right around one hundred."

"And you answered them all?"

"Yes."

"Even the ones I sent at Seido?"

"Yes."

"Why did you start using...wait, never mind. If you'd used your old email, I might have guessed you got my other emails."

Kazuya nodded.

"You even said 'I don't know if you're still using this account.' in the first email you sent."

"Not exactly. I said 'I hope'. Not a lie, because I did hope you would answer me. It was underhanded, but I didn't know how else to talk to you, and I needed to talk to you so badly."

"Okay. I'm sure I'll think of some other questions, but for now, I need to read this."

Kazuya nodded, and headed out of the room.

"Oh, Kazu?" Eijun stopped him as he was walking out. Kazuya turned. Eijun was right behind him, and he reached out and pulled Kazuya close.

He whispered in his ear, "I know you're worried, and you have every right to be. But there are some things you don't need to be worried about. This, and whatever the result of this is, isn't going to change one thing: _You are mine and I am yours_. I love you, Kazuya. I told you a while ago that you'd have to work hard to get rid of me, and I meant it." He pulled away and went to sit on the couch, book in hand. Kazuya just stared at him for a minute, and then walked away, nerves gone, heart lighter than it had been all day.

A couple of hours later, Eijun closed the book.

He'd gotten to the end, read the last email, and he tried to think. He thought he should be upset, thought that maybe he should be so pissed at Kazuya for keeping this from him, but he wasn't. He just _wasn't_. He was sad that they'd missed so much time together, and he mourned for the boy who fought so hard to survive.

But, in consideration, if they'd never been separated, had never had to learn the things they did, they probably wouldn't be where they were, may not even be together.

Decision made, mind clear, he went to find Kazuya. Poking his head into the den, he saw Kazuya sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch, absorbed in a baseball game. Looking closer, he saw it was their last game against Yakushi. Eijun walked quietly into the room and by the time Kazuya finally noticed him, he was already sliding into his boy's lap, assuming his favorite position.

Slipping his arms around Kazuya's waist, he rested his head on his shoulder. Kazuya wrapped his arms around Eijun and lowered his head to Eijun's shoulder, waiting for him to speak.

"Kazu, I...I. God. I guess I'll just say what I'm thinking in simple sentences and we can sort it out together. I love you. I am so sorry you went through all of that. I am sorry that you were afraid to tell me about the emails, that you were so worried. That book is precious to me, and I'll treasure it forever. I regret and hate that we were apart, that we went through those things, but I know that they made us better equipped for what we have to deal with.

"Mostly, I want to say thank you. As much as you say I saved you, you saved me. In the darkest times, when I thought about giving up, you were what I thought of, wondering where you were, promising myself I'd find you. You motivated me to keep trying. So, thank you, Miyuki Kazuya. Thank you for everything."

"Eijun. I just know this...I know that I love you. I know that I would do whatever you asked of me. I know that I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. I know that I don't ever want to let you go, that you're the most important person in my life right now, and that at the end of the day, you are mine, and I am yours.

"I never meant to deceive you about the emails; it just really never came up. I didn't plan to make the book until sometime in the middle of the fall tournament, when I realized you didn't know about them. It became something of an obsession for me to remember when and what was going on with each of them. I want you to know everything."

Eijun lifted his head from Kazuya's shoulder. "Kazuya, look at me."

Kazuya complied, lifting his head. Eijun met his eyes, saw the traces of tears, the love and the hope and the possibility of joy tucked in the corner, and said. "Show me everything, Kazuya. Please. Show me you."

Kazuya smiled softly, and cupped Eijun's cheek. "I can't hide anything from you, Eijun. You see me, you know me. You are the one thing I trust in this world to be true. When we're away from here, when we're out in the world, please remember that. No matter how things may appear, I trust you. Implicitly."

Blinking back the tears that threatened, Eijun leaned into Kazuya, pressing their foreheads together. Breathing each other's air, they moved, tilting their heads and fitting their mouths together. This kiss, this one kiss, this kiss was special. It was an acknowledgement and a promise, a sigh and a sign. Drawing back, they didn't smile, they just looked at each other, recognizing what the other had said. Heads dropped back on shoulders, arms wrapped waists, and they were, together.

They may have dozed off, they were never sure, but after some time the clock chimed. Eijun startled, and saw it was six; sunrise was shortly after seven.

"Kazu, if we want to see the sunrise, we'd better get moving."

"Right, well...get off me, brat, and we'll go."

"Oh, yeah." They untangled, and Eijun stood up. "I'm going to go grab a few things, I'll be right down." He ran upstairs and grabbed his backpack, stuck some stuff inside, and headed back down. Kazuya was in the genkan, slipping on his shoes.

"Where did you say we were going, Ei?"

"Up the hill, to the park we used to play in all the time."

"The one with the ball fields in the middle?"

"Yeah, that one."

"Okay, cool. I think I remember how to get there."

"Lead on, then, Surizuya."

"Surizuya? Really? Would you please stop making shit up?"

"Ok, Bossyuki."

"Eijun. That's just bad."

"Thank you!"

"I'm not…"

They bickered and laughed all the way up the hill, to the park, getting there just as the first tinges of color were showing in the sky. Eijun led Kazuya to the field they used to use for practice all the time, moving to the middle of the outfield.

"This is where we had our first conversation about playing real baseball, Kazu, do you remember?"

"Yes! I remember I could join, but you couldn't because you were too young, we were so upset."

Eijun reached into his bag and pulled out a couple of gloves and a ball. 'Wanna play some catch, Kazu-kun?"

Kazuya held his hand out. "Always, Ei-chan." He smiled at his boy, who tossed him the ball.

And so these boys who loved baseball, but not as much as they loved each other, saw in the first day of the new year the same way that they'd begun their journey twelve years earlier.

With a simple game of catch.

A/N: Thank you for reading this. I've written a lot more fics in this AU, they're all over on AO3, under the same username, WhyTheHandbasket. Feel free to check them out:)


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